Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! I know this year hasn't exactly been the greatest in recent years, but I still hope your holidays are going well.
Since this year is the 55th anniversary of the very first Peanuts special, and the Loud House draws inspiration from the Peanuts (I personally could go on about the similarities between Charlie Brown and Lincoln Loud), I thought it'd be an opportune time to pay homage to both with this little Christmas present!
The story will be split into three chapters: The set-up, the play rehearsal, and the finale, so the story won't just be one long chapter. I really wanted to get all parts done before Christmas, but due to the holidays, I'll be busy for most of it. I'll do my best to finish by New Years Eve/Day.
I hope you all enjoy it!
December in Royal Woods, Michigan: Snow falls as it blankets the town in sheets of white. The rooftops, trees, and ground are covered, and the lake on Tall Timbers Park has frozen over. Upon this lake, the Loud siblings, sans Lincoln, were ice skating.
Lily, who was clinging to her blanket, wasn't skating, however. More trying to walk on the ice, only to keep falling on her padded bottom over and over.
As they all skate, the sound of a somber piano plays, accompanied by a choir of children.
Christmas time is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year
Lincoln and Clyde leave the Loud House, dressed in their winter attire, and walk through their small town.
Snowflakes in the air
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share
As they reach the park, Lincoln sits down on a bench, with Clyde sitting beside him.
Lincoln, a look of depression upon his face, tells his friend, "I think there must be something wrong with me, Clyde. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel."
The boys get off the bench and continue walking, "I guess I'm just not feeling it this year. I like getting presents, sending Christmas cards, and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. This year has been such a letdown, and with the current state of the world, I just can't seem to get into the Christmas spirit."
Clyde stops walking and turns to Lincoln, who had also stopped. "Lincoln Loud, you're the only kid I know who can take a wonderful time like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Lori's right. Of all the Lincoln Loud's in the world," As Clyde turns back around and walks away, he finishes, "You're the Lincoln Loudest."
Lincoln frowns, and then follows his friend.
Back on the ice, Charles joins the siblings in their ice skating, gliding upon the ice on two feet with all the grace of a professional figure skater. He glides away from the siblings.
Sleigh bells in the air (Charles glided in a big U-turn, quickly skating back towards the others)
Beauty in the air (He grabbed Lisa's hand, who then grabs Lola's, who grabs Lana's, and so on)
Yuletide by the fireside (Charles and the girls were all skating in a human chain, smiling joyfully)
And joyful memories there (Charles attempts to spin, the human chain breaking as he falls down)
Lincoln and Clyde start to skate, making their way towards Lily as Charles gets back up. The dog then skates his way over to the toddler Loud.
Christmastime is here (Charles grabs the blanket with his mouth, Lily promptly letting go)
Families drawing near (Lincoln grabs it, but is dragged off before Charles tries to shake him off)
All that we could always see (Linc is sent flying, hitting a tree before falling into the snow)
Such spirit through the year (As he recovers, snow falls off the branches, burying him beneath)
Later that day, back at the Loud House, Lincoln watches the snow fall through the living room window. After putting his winter clothes back on, he walks out to the mailbox. He opens it up to look inside, and upon seeing it empty, shouts into it, "Hello in there!"
As an echo could be heard, his suspicions were confirmed, "Dang it. Nobody sent me a Christmas card this year." Sulking, he walks down the street, "I almost wish there weren't a holiday season. I know nobody likes me; why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?"
From the opposite direction, Girl Jordan is seen cheerfully reading a red Christmas card with a tree on it. Lincoln stops in front of her, a fake smile on his face, a glare in his eyes, and a hint of sarcasm in his voice, "Thanks for the Christmas card you sent me, Girl Jordan."
Girl Jordan nonchalantly replied, "I didn't send you a Christmas card, Lincoln Loud."
As she walks in the opposite direction, Lincoln looks back at her, frowning as he hollers, "Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it!?"
He keeps on walking before reaching Ketchum Park, and comes across a snowman made of mud. From behind the man, Lana is seen building it.
Lincoln remarks, "Lana, you're the only person I know who could make a mudman in a snowstorm."
Lincoln comes across Lori and Leni on a park bench. The latter was steadily munching on a box of candy canes as she read a magazine, the former chatting on the phone, neither noticing Lincoln beside them.
Meanwhile, Lola, Lisa, Roxanne, and Darcy were standing around as the snow falls.
Roxanne says, "Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue!" The 6-year-old sticks her tongue out, catching one, "It's fun!"
Darcy does this and basically chews her snowflake, "Mmmmm. Needs sugar."
Lola pompously remarks, "It's too early. I never eat December snowflakes. I always wait until January."
Lisa adjusts her glasses, snidely joking, "They sure look ripe to me."
Lisa was then suddenly hit in the back of the head with a snowball, causing her to fall to the ground! Standing back up, she yells out, "Alright! Who's the wise guy?!"
Lynn's voice calls out, "My bad, Lis!" Nearby, Lynn, Luan, and Luna were all throwing snowballs at one another, each of them behind their own snow fort.
As the other two squatted behind their forts, Lynn yelled to her siblings, "Surrender now and I might go easy on you two!"
Luan pokes her head over her fort, "Snow way, Jose! Hahahahaha! But seriously, you'll never hit-" Luan was then hit in the face with a snowball, thrown by Luna. She finishes, "-me."
Luna laughed at her sister getting hit, "Merry Christmas…" Luna was also hit in the face, finishing her reference with less conviction, "…darling."
Lynn laughs, obviously having thrown the snowball herself. Until she was hit in the back of the head a snowball. Shocked, she turns around to see Lily, using her blanket to fling another snowball at her big sister! After hitting Lynn twice, Lily smugly toddles off, dragging her blanket on the snow.
As she passes Lisa and Lola, Lola frowns and asks, "You think you're so smart with that blanket! What are you going to do with it when you grow up?"
Lily merely smiled and wrapped the blanket around her neck, like a cape. "Super Lily!" As Super Lily "flies" off, Lola simply glared, unimpressed by this.
Almost on cue, Lincoln passes by his other sisters. He walks over to a chess table, sighing in a depressed tone.
"What's wrong, Lincoln?"
"Aaah!" Lincoln yelled as Lucy suddenly appeared behind him, "Oh. Hey, Lucy."
Lucy asked, "You wanna tell me what's wrong, or just keep moping? Because I can work with either."
Lincoln answers, "I'm just real depressed. I know I should be happy, but I'm not."
Lucy remarks, "Well, you know what they say: Admission is the first step to recovery." Lucy slides over into the chair opposite Lincoln, and stands upon it to be eye level with him, "I think we better pinpoint the source of your concerns. If we can find out you're afraid of, we can label it. Do you have a fear of failure? If you do, then you have atychiphobia."
Lincoln answers, "That's not quite it. You see..."
Lucy cuts off Lincoln, "How about girls? If you have a fear of the fairer sex, then you have gynophobia."
"Well, sort of, but I'm not sure."
Lucy continues, listing many different phobias, "Are you afraid of being alone? If you are, then you have monophobia. Maybe you have ecophobia: this is a fear of the home. Or gelotophobia, which is the fear of being laughed at. Or maybe you have syngenesophobia."
The Goth leans onto the table and asks the white-haired boy, "Do you believe you have syngenesophobia?"
Confused, Lincoln asks, "What's syngenesophobia?"
Lucy quickly answers, "A fear of your family."
As Lucy smiles, Lincoln silently ponders this for a second.
He yelled so loud, Lucy doubled back in surprise, flying out the chair and flat on her back! The snow broke her fall, fortunately.
As she returns, Lincoln stands back up, "Actually, Lucy, my real problem is Christmas." The siblings take a little walk together, "I just can't seem to get into the spirit. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down."
Lucy realizes, "Ah. Seasonal depression. That's different." Lucy stops in her tracks, followed by her brother, "You need involvement. You need to get involved in a Christmas project. Why don't you direct our school Christmas play?"
"Me?" Lincoln asks for clarification, "You want me to direct the Christmas play?"
Lucy replies, "Sure, Lincoln. We need a director. You need involvement. We've got everything we need: Luan's helping with the sets, Luna's doing the music, Lana's providing all the animals for the nativity. Lola even begged to be the Christmas angel."
Lincoln stands there, awkwardly silent, before adding, "But I don't know anything about directing a play. Why don't you get Luan to do it?"
Lucy answered, "I tried, but she's already helping with the sets."
"What about Luna?"
"She's helping with music."
"You're kidding, right?"
Lincoln then realizes, "Why don't you just get an adult to help you guys with it?"
Lucy bluntly breaks the fourth wall, "This is a Peanuts parody. Adults are basically nonexsistent."
Lincoln frowns, "Dang it."
Lucy assures her older brother, "Don't worry. I'll be there to help you. Just meet us at the auditorium." Lucy then begins to walk with Lincoln, "Incidentally, I know how you feel about all this Christmas business. Getting depressed in all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys, or a bicycle, or clothes or something like that."
Stopping in his tracks, the middle Loud asks, "So, what is it you want?"
Lucy bluntly responds, "Demonic powers."
Obviously disturbed by her response, Lincoln simply walked away in silence.
Later, Lincoln returns home to get ready, only to see Charles walking by with a box of ornaments and lights on his back. As the pup approaches his dog house, he tilts his back upward slightly, causing said box to slide right off and onto the soft snow.
As the dog starts decorating his doghouse, Lincoln asks, "What's going on here?!"
Charles pulls a rolled-up paper from his dog collar, handing it to Lincoln, "What's this?" The white-haired boy unravels it and begins to read aloud, ""Find the true meaning of Christmas. Win money, money, money. Spectacular super colossal Neighborhood Christmas Lights and display contest." Lights and display contest?! Oh, no!"
As Charles makes his house look festive, Lincoln groans, "UGH! My own dog gone commercial. I can't stand it!"
Later on, Lincoln makes his way down the stairs to leave. However, as he reaches the door, he's stopped by a familiar voice, "Lincoln!"
Lincoln notices Lily with a crayon and paper, asking through her toddler speak, "Lily write lela do Sanda! Lily write lela to Sanda!"
"Sorry, Lily. I can't help you write a letter to Santa." He then explains, "I have to go down to the school and direct a Christmas play."
As he turns his back to leave once more, he hears Lily sniffle. He looks back to see his baby sister, who was wearing her best sad puppy dog eyes, which made the Loud boy feel guilty. He then sighs, "Okay, Lily. I'll write it."
Lily instantly cheered up, "Yay!" As she hands the paper to Lincoln, she dictates, "Dear Sanda, Lily been good this yea'. Lily want lots of presence (presents)! Lily want some big, some small, some as big as Lily!"
Lincoln groans, "Oh, brother."
Lily then adds, surprisingly enough, "If it's too much, give Lily money! Maybe… dens and tweeties (tens and twenties)."
Lincoln gasps, "Tens and twenties!" He throws the paper in the air, "Oh, even my baby sister!"
As Lincoln storms out the door, Lily grabs the paper midair, raising an eyebrow at what just happened.