i hope you guys are enjoying so far! i was thinking all today maybe im doing too much and not getting to some byakuya x ladies action but i wanted to create a backstory for his emotional unavailability. which i hope u guys are liking? i would appreciate some feedback too! but uhh yeah this chapter i included some moments between his parents. so far i feel like its pretty good, but i believe their relevance to the story will fizzle out pretty soon because i feel like they are becoming too much of the spotlight. this was supposed to be a moreso lighthearted type bit where he explores his sexuality and feelings, and it will next chapter! anyways moral of the story, feedback is appreciated, byakuya and his lady friends are finna come to meeting next chapter, parents' relevance to the story is gonna fizzle out, and please enjoy!

Here she was again, burying her feelings instead of being upfront about it. That's what lead to her first meltdown that lasted for years. It took so long for her to break down her wall to trust, love, and share apart of herself to the man she despised and blamed for messing up for very first relationship. After getting in the car Seiso sat farthest from him and didn't speak, but oh, he had some words for her. To begin an argument and defy him for the second time like that in front of their son was an embarrassment. But she didn't care. She was sick of all these calculated moves in every aspect of their life.

Nothing was genuine about a Togami.

They didn't even value all the children they had together, they only chose one out of the seven they had to carry their last name. As much as she wanted to cry out again, she could not because of her family's threats and the responsibility she carried in directly maintaining their familial and professional relationship. All these thought began to come again, the same ones she buried so long ago and causing her to feel sick to the stomach.

Unfortunately she even considered herself playing along in their ridiculousness. But what more could she do? Expected to be submissive and just a housewife, but she was more than that. She knew her way about a sick person and she can barely do that anymore, but she did get into gardening, she felt her skills were transferrable to care of vegetation and flowers. She was a mother, to seven beautiful children she lost contact with after they were sent off to God knows where. Byakusei was again to blame. Had she never let him convince her to return home, her life would be completely different.

A single tear rolled down her eye but she quickly wiped it away. She wasn't going to show weakness. No, she was going to stand her ground. Her husband was going to hear what she had to say. If he truly respected and loved her as he say he did, he would speak to her, not at her.

"Seiso, you've been acting strange lately as if you do not understand your role here. Do I have to remind you that you are to not argue with me in front of Byakuya?" Byakusei's voice broke the silence. His eyes examined her, her body turnt towards the window and face hidden by her hair.

"No, you do not. However, may I remind you that you are not the only one allowed to address and console our son? I am his mother, he's allowed to come to me and take advice from me too." Seiso responded bluntly, she didn't turn to him.

"And what was that? As far as I am concerned, you aren't involved in this discussion anymore after you pushed it off on him. Your outburst was unnecessary."

"It was more than necessary. But of course, you wouldn't understand why if it didn't require you to always be so technical."

"Being technical is clearly below you, I thought of you better than that."

Immediately, her head turned to show him a dirty look. Another tear wanted to roll down her eye but she instead turned her face up. "Don't you dare speak about me as if you truly know me. Just because I do not think like you and the rest of your family does doesn't mean I lack any more sense than you. You are so far stuck up your ass you refuse to look at anything differently because all you think of is yourself and money." Before he could say anything, she opened the small window between the back seat and the front seat to speak to the driver. Byakusei immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her back into her seat, not letting her go. "Why are you touching me like this?!"

"Remember the last time you did something out of emotion and you ruined everything between my family and yours if it wasn't for me saving you. If you get out of this car, you know you will never be forgiven." He whispered into her ear coldly. As much as she wanted to say fuck this and leave, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Why did she let her guard down and let him in? Snatching her hand back, she sat back into her seat without another word for the rest of the ride.

Around two thirty in the afternoon Byakuya finally finished his work for the day. After his parents had left he had taken about thirty minutes to sit and think about his current home situation. He had to admit, he was definitely at odds. It was choosing between obeying his father's wishes or doing the right thing as his mother told him. He had to question his motives and his ideology. Without the attitude he had now he believed wouldn't be anywhere near where he is today. A powerful, wealthy man at the ripe age of 20, soon to turn 21, with a conglomerate he had to look over and over 4 billion dollars he acquired from day trading out of boredom. He was a disciplined man and he took pride in it. To be so emotional was to be loose in mind and allowed error to occur. That couldn't be. But because of his technical nature, he was also a lonely man. No true friends and no memories he could look back at when he was older and to remember how much of a good life he had enjoyed when he wasn't busy.

What did he have to show for other than money?

Was he truly happy with how he is living currently?

All the money in the world and to think you're so much better and deeper than everyone only to actually be shallow in reality. Money isn't happiness. He would have to learn that the hard way. Many other men of his caliber proved this, as battling with depression and a drinking addiction because they couldn't see it was beyond the money they had. All that despair potentially led some to suicide even. Anyways, he didn't consider that much either. Tapping into his true feelings wasn't necessarily something on the forefront of his mind.

Just by finishing so late, Byakuya had to take a late lunch. Thankfully, he had enough time to spare before a meeting at three thirty with Kaito Momota and his recent updates on an upcoming electric automobile named Alset. Since their last meeting it sounded very promising and as an investor in it, he expected it to be introduced exclusively as a way to generate value to the brand. But the man himself was quite.. hyper and full of himself to the point he believes he's a celebrity just because of some facial hair.

Leaving his office with his coat, he quickly told Naegi he was going to be out on his lunch break and to stay busy before heading down to the entrance of the building on the first floor. As he was heading out, he called for his personal driver and directed him to be taken to the usual cafe he goes to on his break. In about ten minutes they arrived and he entered the cafe that was thankfully not as crowded around this time of day. He ordered a large black coffee and a caprese sandwich, paid for his order, and waited in the appropriate area for his name to be called. As he was waiting, he heard his name being called, but from behind him.

"Byakuya."

When he turned, his eyes met with familiar purple hair and matching eyes. "Kyoko."

Per usual, her face remained expressionless. Kyoko was about to get up and leave until she happened to spot him just now. She knew of his family, having been hired by them a few times personally and some of her own family members too. Somehow she managed to become acquainted with Byakuya, surprisingly, despite his snooty attitude sometimes. What brought them together was how they both enjoyed a good mystery and her intellect was quite impressive. Reading and solving them exercised his brain while her interest for it was because it was really her job anyways, but nonetheless, something they shared in common.

"Well, what do you want?" He spat out.

"I was just saying hello to someone I knew. Goodbye now." And with that, she turned on her heel.

She had only taken two steps before he called out for her. "Wait. Perhaps it is something we can discuss. Do not let this fill your head up with any confidence but I would say we think alike mostly." After all, thinking about this alone and not really being able to consult anyone but the other two involved in this situation wouldn't had count as much as a second opinion. Again Kyoko turned back around to face him. "I suppose you can accompany me at a table and we can talk." Conveniently, his name for his order was called and he grabbed it. There was a nearby empty table for two and headed in that direction, expecting her to follow behind him. Once they got themselves situated, they looked at each other, very blankly.

"So you, the most perfect man there is, is asking me for advice for once. How sway," Kyoko began, a small smile playing on her lips as she brought her finger to her chin.

Byakuya scoffed. "Like I said, do not get ahead of yourself. Be grateful I even came to you in the first place."

"Anyways," She didn't reply to his arrogance. "Say what you have to say."

"I'm scheduled to marry shortly after my 21st birthday. Typically, the wife is picked out for the son in regards of who her family is. But suddenly, I have a say in who she is. I've reviewed the list and have a first choice, of course, but before I was given the list, I was advised to pursue these women instead." He paused to take a sip of his coffee. "However, I do not see the point personally, as the woman's purpose is to only bear and raise Togami children, and what her family does is another important factor in this."

Kyoko crossed her arms and immediately let out a sigh. "Perhaps I can give you different perspective. I won't give you the answer, as this is your life. But, I noticed since I've met you that you lack any regard for human emotion. You only think of everything in a logical sense, which makes sense because of who you are and what you do." He hummed in agreement. "But not everything requires you to be so logical and calculated all the time. You underestimate emotion, to put it simply."

"Emotion does nothing but makes it harder to know what's the best choice. It clouds your decision-making," he replied bluntly.

"Well, in this situation, think of it differently. Think about what you just said about a woman and her family and what marriage really is between two people." She proceeded to get up from her seat, her eyes staring into his. "Once you figure that out, you'll understand why you were advised to pursue them instead."

He didn't speak anymore on the topic, she gave him her piece. He began to think she wasn't as qualified to talk to him about it as he thought, and wanted to brush off her words, but it was thought provoking. What did marriage really mean between two people? Was the example of marriage he came to knew correct? In his world, yes, marriage was taught to him as just means of reproduction and business opportunity. But as his mother told him, she wanted him to end this emotionless cycle in his family that lasted generations, it should be out of love. His mother ran off during the wedding, foolish she was, and she said it hurt her to be there when she was in love with someone else. It was her fault, he believed, she knew her fate before she was chosen to marry his father. He was being stubborn, refusing to believe being emotionally driven was any good to him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I have a job, you know. I have to go, if you come to an answer, you're free to call me and let me know what you came up with." Her back was then turned to him and she quickly said goodbye and walked away.

eighteen years ago..

After a very busy day, Seiso finally had time to rest her feet and her eyes. Though, first, she was going to draw a hot bath to truly wind down. She put all seven of her children to bed, by herself, which wasn't anything new of course. But she enjoyed the time she spent with all of them and despite the fact at times they drove her crazy, she loved each and every one of her children. They were closest to their mother, as their father was much more reserved, and busy all the time. Dealing with small children wasn't his forte either, but much as she would love for their family to be complete, she knew that their father wasn't interested in familial matters, or even her. He only addressed them to remind them that they were soon to show who was fit to be the next head of the Togami conglomerate. Even though she lived in this big, grand mansion, she felt as if she was the only one who lived here. But that's how she chose to live in the very beginning, choosing to live in a guest bedroom farthest from the master bedroom, only entering the master bedroom when it was time to have sex. And the sex was quite awful too.

Her pale yellow dressed was stripped off her body and tossed into a corner for now. She pinned her hair up in a neat bun and stepped in her bathtub, sinking into the warmth and letting it envelope her aching body. It instantly eased her and she let out a sigh. At first, she had her eye closed, trying to relax her mind just as her body was. For some reason, her eyes opened, staring at the walls around her. Then, she cried.

"Why did it have to be me? Stuck in this stupid, stupid marriage with all these children!" She sobbed. Her children was never a regret. But this marriage.. this man she was stuck with for the rest of her life bothered her. This isn't real. This was a nightmare. Why did she feel so lonely but she was married? Ibara loved her, it should've been him! Why did her family care so much about their business and money that they would sacrifice her in order to benefit off of her? Why didn't they listen to her? Why why why?

Whoever she got close to, Seiso felt they were taken from her. First, her family when they even thought to offer her hand in marriage in the first place. Then, her Ibara when he was banished from ever seeing her again. And before she knew it, she would lose six of her sweet children because of the stupid Togami tradition. Her sobs got louder, as she felt a pain in her heart thinking about her children. Despite being advised to not get too close to them, she did it anyway. That was her job as a mother was to be there for her children. But it would soon be over. After the birth of their last son, Byakuya, when he was to turn seven years old, the ultimate battle between the Togami children would begin. The youngest and eldest child was nine years apart, and the head start was definitely in favor the the eldest child, a girl named Terano.

Truly she believed Terano would be the next heir. Because of that, she looked at Byakuya differently. Being the youngest, he couldn't stand a chance. At that time of his life, his brain would still be developing cognitively and he would only be in the second grade! It was cruel to think how much he would fail terribly against his older siblings. Terano would be sixteen years old, in high school, and far more knowledge and experience he could ever gain in such little time he had to prepare. However, as unfair as it was to be selective in her children, she became biased in who she gave her time to. Byakuya became the center of her attention, she coddled him nearly out of pity.

He became her favorite.

She hated he became her favorite.

If she never had to lose any of her children to begin with, she wouldn't have to spend so much time with the one she felt the most pain for. Seiso wouldn't have to play favorites and choose just one, like the Togamis did, and she could enjoy all of her children equally.

While her sobs became uncontrollable, she wasn't aware they became much louder, because she soon heard knocking at her bathroom door that startled her. "G-go away, please. I want to be alone!" She managed to get out between sobs. The knocking persisted again. "Please, just l-leave me alone!"

"Seiso, it's Byakusei." The person behind the knocking finally revealed themselves. "Can you open the door?"

Her husband.

It was silence. Within that silence, a wet washcloth dabbed her face to wipe away tears and a robe covered her bare, wet body. Sniffles still came from her and her eyes red from crying when she stepped outside of the bathroom. The man was still in a tailored suit at nine in the evening. His ocean blue eyes stared at her, she didn't look up at him but she felt his eyes on her. She began to feel nervous. They didn't speak much, typically in the morning for breakfast and maybe sometimes at dinner if he wasn't working late, but crossing paths to have a conversation outside those times weren't really common in their relationship.

"Your crying is quite loud I heard you as I came down this hallway." Byakusei said. There was no concern or worry in his voice.

"I'm sorry." Seiso muttered. Her eyes still didn't meet his. And she didn't mean what she said either, she just wanted him to leave.

"Are the children put to rest?" She nodded in response to his question. He hummed. "Well, I hope you stop that god awful crying and get some rest yourself. You look terrible, and you've looked better." Such a backhanded compliment! "I will see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight." He finally left out of her room.

For once, they agreed on something. She did look terrible and she felt terrible, she was even more tired than when she first came in her room and she felt a headache oncoming from her crying. Proceeding to get ready for bed, she changed into her nightgown and left a glass of water on her bedside. Her bed welcomed her into its comfort and soon, she drifted to sleep.

Later that evening, Seiso began spiraling. Today was exhausting and all she could think were the events that took place. After their visit with their son, they still did go to brunch, but it was distant and silent rather than relaxing and warm. Then they had went back home and haven't crossed paths since two. Dinner was about to start soon, and she began to feel uneasy in her stomach. It's been a while since they have had an argument really, but this one was different due to the circumstances given. It was causing new thoughts and emotions arise. And again, she didn't try to express her true feelings. But that never done her any good, she thought. Withholding all this from her husband, who she was supposed to be able to confide in, was the cause for her strange behavior. If she never spoke about what really was going on, of course he would think she was acting out.

So, she would talk to him.

That was what she was gonna do tonight at dinner. He should listen to her and try to understand her, that's what good men do. At six, Seiso arrived to the dining room first, with Byakusei coming last. They sat in their appropriate seats across from each other snd began their meal in silence. Anxiety started to overcome her but she stood her ground and wasn't going to let her emotions stay hidden.

Setting down her fork, she placed her hands in her lap and looked up at him with a soft expression on her face. "Byakusei, perhaps we should talk?" She broke the silence. Two minutes passed before he finally looked at her. She expected a cold look but it was a dull look in his eyes.

"What about?" He finally replied.

"It's.. er, some things you do not know about me. That I've kept from you for so long." Well, that didn't sound too good, it sounded untrustworthy. Her eyes looked into her lap but she took a deep breath and brought them back up to look at him. "It's about why I have been acting strangely."

Not strangely, moreso, emotional, but that's how he described her behavior.

One of his eyebrows rose up, and he sat back in his chair. "Okay. Then what is it that is bothering you so much?" He wanted to add that caused her to be so incompetent, but he held his tongue.

Getting up, she went to sit in the unoccupied seat beside him, to be closer and to show him how serious she was. She took another deep breath. "When we were first to get married, I did not want to marry you, obviously, because I was still in love with my boyfriend, Ibara. That's why I ran off. And you convinced me to come back home and we did marry."

"Are you trying to tell me you're having some affair with this man behind my back?" He clenched his fist.

"N-no! Just let me finish, please!" Her hand went to lay on top of his fist. "I h-hated you so much. I was so hurt and depressed, and I couldn't say anything about it, because of the pressure between my family and yours. We were married and not because we loved each other. You never talked to me or got to know me for so long. We would have sex and you wouldn't look at me and send me out as soon as you were done. I was lonely, in my own home and my own marriage." His fist unclenched, but his face didn't soften. She began tearing up. "Then, we had all those children. I felt so bad for Byakuya because of T-Terano, and we couldn't keep them all, and I spent so much time with him unfairly. I wanted to be a mother to all those children!"

At this point, she began rambling. In her head she felt nothing she said was making sense, especially through her tears. She was trying to convey how hurt she was for so many years, and why she didn't pick a young lady. How this family took away the ability to feel emotion as it was intended to be. To marry out of love, to have sex with passion, and to raise a family with care. All those events were taken from her and she had no choice but to let it happen. After all those years of agony she gone through because of him, she later began to realize he was only a product of his environment, because if you are only taught to act and think this way, that's all you knew how to do, and felt more sympathy than disgust. She couldn't expect him to truly understand if it wasn't explained to him. "Even now, you still harbor this emotionless persona. And you put it in B-Byakuya! He doesn't know how to feel at a-all! All he know is what you taught him, to think strategically and never emotionally. I-I know he has so much responsibility at such a y-young age, but he deserves to be human too. You don't even speak to h-him like a father, just a mentor."

Byakusei didn't say a word, he only looked at her as she was crying terribly. Tears stained her face and her dress. As he listened to her, what stung him the most was that she admitted, in words, that at some point she hated him. Back then, he was quite aware that they didn't have the best of relationship, but he neither loved nor hated her. The next thought that came to mind was that her hatred for him caused her to be depressed and hurt for many years. Back then, he probably would've shrugged it off and told her to get over it, she wasn't anybody he actually cared for. The last thing that finally settled in his head was that his lack of empathy not only affected him but her and their son. Back then, he definitely didn't concern himself with the feelings of others because it was a waste of time. He thought things were fine the way they were, how wrong he was. Seeing his wife so troubled made him feel… uneasy.

Besides, a happy wife is a happy life.

For the first time in his life, he got on his knees. He grabbed ahold of her hands with a firm but gentle grip. "It is ugly to see you in such a fit. If it will make you happy, let's make arrangements to fix the errors that are amendable."

And for the first time for a Togami, he apologized.