cross-posting on AO3. pick ya poison, fellas.

READ THIS. else you'll likely be confused, lol.

after a long contemplation, i decided that re:re will go through a little revamping in a sense. because after i wrote chapter four while in the hospital and began the fifth, i just… couldn't seem to find a way to continue despite planning out what i wanted. writer's block. and i couldn't find a way past it, especially these last few months just mentally draining me on top of my physical health being shit. however, luckily, i had a talk with my friend, and it turns out he was having the same problem as i was with his own story, Amarantine—something i helped with and even provided a character for.

so we talked it out and realizing that we were roughly going for the same plot points, i asked if i could take his character/combine some aspects of the stories, and he agreed. thus, here we are, so let me discuss the changes:

- Lexa, the MC, has been reworked. Why? The simple answer is that I planned on incorporating the two main characters from my friend's fic into re:re with Lexa still as re:re's MC, but the problem was that one of them was pretty much Lexa's doppelganger/expy as I hadn't realized how similar these two were until I tried incorporating both of them in the same story. It wasn't possible due to their startling similarities, but this character was a packaged deal with the other, so I made the decision to simply rework Lexa, fusing her with the new character and changing details as I went. So it resulted in a pretty different Lexa but still having somewhat the same plots [i.e. Kai and getting abused and wanting death]. Plus, I feel like she's more relatable in a way.
- Another main character will be incorporated in the story, and her name is Narumi. I am unsure of when exactly she'll become prominent, but rest assured once she starts to appear (aside from the first chapter), she'll have a lot of screen time and there will even be scenes written from her POVs.
- From an overall perspective, some scenes do remain the same relatively throughout the first four chapters—mainly because I didn't feel a huge need to truly alter them in a super huge way and I am pretty big on reuse. Still recommend giving them a quick read so you'll understand the "new" storyline, especially chapter four and the first part of this chapter as I wrote an additional of about... 4 to 5k in words? Aside from editing, that was. Pretty new content... ish. Then again, it's been a very long while since i updated, so.

now. sankchu, nerfherder-han. i hope i do your child justice for when she shows up. QwQ

and special thanks to anyone who still bothers to read and like this despite the changes. you the MVP.


i.


Her right leg bent at an awkward angle, it was worse than she initially thought. Bone protruded out from skin, and the pain she felt whenever she moved even slightly was excruciating. But that wasn't the truly bad part; it was the fact that she hadn't expected the bastard to have so much force when he took a swing at her practically half-dead, choking and gurgling on his own blood from the large shard of glass she shoved in his throat.

On the flip side, she learned something new from this at least: Never underestimate a dying man… Well, at least when said dying man wielded a bush hammer, one that he could easily swing at the kneecap of a maltreated captive.

"Aha… Not like… it'll do much for me now… Stupid."

Despite the pain, so great that she couldn't help the tears spilling out of her eyes and down her ashen, scraped-up cheeks, she wheezed out a laugh, head thumping against the floor.

God, she was such an idiot. A fucking fool. If she had been more careful, a little more aware that her actions had consequences, or hell, even just taken a few precautions like she was goddamn advised to do, she and Narumi wouldn't have found themselves in this horrid situation—this fire least of all with giant, roaring flames practically consuming everything in sight, the crackling fire clear as day even with her horrible eyesight.

With great effort, she turned her body over to the side, teeth gritted to stop any cries from rising in her throat as every muscle seemed to ache. Orange, and red, and yellow danced in every corner of her vision, the heat from the flames drawing closer and closer. And then, just as she began to force herself up, a pillar, weakened by the fire, gave and toppled over, resounding in a thunderous crash.

Despair hit her all at once when she realized where the pillar landed, blocking the stairs that led down to the ground floor with flames devouring the wood and carpet hungrily.

Yet she couldn't help but laugh at the misfortune. Undeniably she was screwed; Kai had broken her down in every way possible, and while she had resisted, the current state of her body, barely able to crawl, killed pretty much any chance she had to escape with the stairway blocked. The smoke did not help matters and Narumi…

Her eyes bulged wide in realization. Narumi…! Where—

She searched frantically, with a renewed spike of energy somehow, and when she spotted familiar red hair on a nearby body laying face-down, she crawled as fast as she could. She ignored the throbbing pain, the bodies she passed as she made her way over to the redhead, to Narumi. She was quick to turn her over, seeing delicate features marked by ash. Beyond a bit of bleeding from the head—from when Narumi was thrown out of her grip, she guessed—Narumi seemed fine, just unconscious. As though she was having a peaceful sleep.

Lucky Naruuchi, leaving me awake to witness our deaths in fiery matrimony.

A choked giggle escaped out of her throat despite the severity of the situation, of their upcoming, painful demise. She was, after all, a dead woman walking at this point. Her leg was busted, preventing her from being able to carry Narumi out like she had been doing before they were intercepted by Kai's boys. The ones that had broken Narumi's legs—as ordered by Kai—so badly that Narumi had been doing nothing but crying and sniffling, holding onto her like a sad, broken puppy.

"Ah. It's…" Her lower lip quivered, stroking Narumi's cheek. How unfair it was for the redhead to look so peaceful. "It's all my fault, isn't it?"

...Idit. You already Know The Answer.

Yes. Yes, she did. Really, there was no need to ask such a question. The answer was already clear. It was her fault. All her fault. Everything. If she had just been careful—

She shook her head, smacking a fist against her forehead. Throwing herself a pity party, being self-loathing would help no one. Not in this situation where she had no time to be listening to lingering, overlapping voices. Not when Narumi needed her just for a little while longer. Because Narumi deserved so much more, and especially not to be used as cruel payback for rejecting some crazed bastard with every fiber of her being.

Maybe… Maybe if she threw Narumi out a window, then Narumi would have a chance. It'd be a second-story drop, but there was a chance of survival rather than staying in this hellhole to burn at least. Burning was the fate she deserved, not Narumi.

Ths s a yu êserve.

Moving Narumi was much worse than she thought it'd be. The girl had to be dragged along the floor, to the closest window available, but it was a painfully slow process. Her body, especially her leg, pulsated with painful throbs, begging her to stop, and every second that ticked on by felt like an eterntiy, with the flames growing more and more scorching. It got harder to breathe, to even stay awake—as the smoke was certainly on its way suffocating her. In fact, the way her lungs constricted, folding under the smoke reminded her of the time she had suffered from a collasped lung.

It was so painful at the time. Unbearable. She couldn't even stay conscious, and she well and truly thought that she wasn't going to wake back up again. But that was then. She didn't have the luxury to slip into unconsciousness, not until after Narumi was out of the building, and it was through this resolve that she powered through.

Narumi would have a chance to escape, she thought as she finally made it to the window.

It was the very least she could give Narumi, she thought as she opened the window, peeking out and seeing all sorts of blue and red lights.

Good, she thought as she hoisted Narumi up over the edge. The police, ambulenece, whatever could give Narumi medical support immediately.

One last look. Again, Narumi looked like she was just sleeping, blissfully unaware of the surroundings. "...Please," she said softly, trying to avoid going into a coughing fit. "Please live, Narumi."

Then she shoved Narumi out, falling to the floor all the while, well past her limit. Her lungs burned as though they were on fire rather than the building. Her body felt so heavy, too, and her vision was blurring so much that she couldn't make anything out, not even if she tried.

…It was fine, she guessed. It was exactly as she deserved. Then again, maybe she deserved something more painful. Like a knife through the throat or, maybe, drowning in the cold, dark sea.

Against her own will, her eyelids fluttered, slowly beginning to slide shut. There was no going back now, not with the final nails being pounded into her blazing coffin.

With darkness quick to consume her as her eyes slid shut, she sucked in one final breath.


And then. And then Lexa Kiddo opened her eyes, blinking rapidly.

The first thing she saw was a painfully bright light, and she was quick to bring up a hand to shield her eyes in a manner that she always did when it was a sunny day—to avoid any migraines brought on by the sun with how sensitive her eyes were to light. It was too bright to make anything out, no matter how she squinted, but she did notice how cold it was with a brisk chill nipping at her. Although there was somehow a tingly warmth as well, filtering down on her as the sounds of chatter suddenly began to sound, indistinct.

"C'mon, Doi-chan!" a voice, a girl's voice she realized, stuck out, urging, and she felt something grip her arm, tugging her into one direction. "We got gym next, and we better hurry if we wanna make it on time!"

...Doi-chan? Gym? What—

Lexa Kiddo realized something was wrong. Very wrong. Impossibly so. Because she should still be in a burning building, not… wherever this was exactly.

Features scrunching, she tried to pull her arm free, but the… girl? The girl had such a vice grip on her arm that she couldn't do much beyond following, going towards the blinding light that soon became less blinding as she heard the unmistakable sounds of a door opening. Again, she was pulled into a direction, but within a few seconds, she was promptly released, left to her own devices seemingly as the chatter became distinctive, evolving into feminine voices.

Every single voice spoke Japanese. It was very standard too like she was used to hearing after years of traveling to Tokyo with a few other dialects thrown in there, but she was expecting to mostly hear Hama-kotoba*, not standard since she was on a scenic route on Hakodate.

As her vision adjusted, she was met with a sight she hadn't seen since her high school days. A locker room, filled with girls that were certainly on their way to becoming young adults, some changing out of clothes that consisted… of pleated skirts and blouses?

She blinked, baffled by the sight, and upon closer inspection, she was left with even more confusion, realizing the clothes were school uniforms—and not just any school uniform but exactly the type of uniform she'd see in most Japanese media. Sailor fuku, very traditional, with the white blouse accentuated by a green sailor-like collar and paired with a pleated skirt that was the same green. However, the most confusing thing about the uniform was that she felt as though she had seen them from somewhere… even though she swore she hadn't because nearly all schools in Tokyo had moved to a more Western-style uniform of blazers and plaid skirts for its high school students, and the girls around her seemed to be high school-aged.

Another odd thing was that Lexa caught sight of a small badge attached to the blouse, a school crest seemingly, depicting a three-legged crow.

Is that… Yatagarasu*?

"Doi-chan!" the same voice said but she ignored it in favor of looking around, despite an almost instinctual need to respond. She felt out of place, so far out of her element, and it was as though her body wasn't truly hers for whatever reason. Plus, Doi wasn't her name, although... these people seemed to think it was, and in that case, something was very, very wrong. But trying to tell people that her name was Lexa—or Sen if she wanted to go legal—Kiddo was the very least of her problems.

She went past several girls, some giving weird looks and a few murmurs, but then she came across a mirror, catching sight of it out of the corner of her eye. She was rooted in place instantly at what stared back at her in the mirror, body freezing in rigid motion as a chill crept down her spine.

No longer was Lexa Kiddo the broken woman she had been at the hands of Kai, of his goons, of the fire, covered in cuts and bruises and grime. Instead, her reflection showed the doll-like face of her teen years, clean and prime and somehow more lovely.

…Eh?

Vain as it may be, Lexa was well-aware she was rather appealing in the looks department by friends and strangers alike, whether she was in Japan or the United States, but this? This face? Had to be something not of this world, ethereal almost like straight out of a fairytale. However, as Lexa blinked, so did the face, staring back with a bewildered expression. It meant that the face was undoubtedly hers even though somehow the face felt so alien that it may as well have belonged to a stranger. An extremely pretty stranger who didn't need makeup to look good—like the girls who were the heroines in romance novels. Not like Lexa, who did need some makeup to truly look even half as pretty as this face was. Idol-worthy and then some, Lexa felt.

But as Lexa slowly overcame her shock, she noticed there were massive differences. Her hair was far longer than a length she'd allow, about to her hips and neater and straighter, too, with the color black, shining like the feathers of a raven rather than the dark brown she knew it to be. In between bangs were sharp eyes whose irises were… colorless? No, that wasn't quite right. Underneath the lighting of the locker room, the slightest bit of movement revealed shimmers of color and white light, a prism that was ever-shifting, never staying in the same place. It was like she had sun catchers for irises and so very clearly not the pale icy blue that was caused by ocular albinism, the reason for her light sensitivity.

Odd as it felt, like she was looking at a stranger with those iridescent eyes and black hair with a blue-purple sheen like that of ravens, it... had to be her face, if not way, impossibly prettier. Because the stranger in the mirror mimicked her movements perfectly, looked just as confused as she felt even when she took hold of her cheek to give it a pinch. In the mirror, she saw the area flushed with color in the aftermath, lightly stinging. More than enough proof, though maybe, just maybe this was a dream that could stimulate pain.

No, wait. People weren't supposed to have dreams like this, not when they were…

…Well, was she dead? It didn't seem so. She felt pain. She felt temperature. She didn't have burns nor bruises or any blemishes from what she could see in the mirror, actually, and nothing hurt beyond the pinch she gave herself. In fact, this seemed as real as… real life and not the kind of dreams where she was able to have stimuli.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when someone grabbed her wrist, gently tugging and speaking, but her body moved on its own, snatching her arm away. A few more murmurs, louder now that she seemingly made a scene, but she didn't hear what was said, didn't even look at the girl that grabbed her, only focusing on the uneasiness and disgust that surged through her when she felt cold fingers clamp around her wrist.

Just why, oh why did people think they had the right to touch her? Even after death or whatever the hell kind of ordeal she was forced into this time? God, people always did things against her will—

Intense pain shot through her chest. A pain that instantly brought to mind an X-ray of her shriveled, distorted lung after she had suffered from a collapsed lung when she was younger, cutting off almost all line of thought.

I can't breathe, I can't breathe, Ican'tbreathe—

Gasping, trying to get any air in her lungs, Lexa pressed her hands against her chest instinctively. It hurt so bad, the savage loss of breath and the stabs of pain. So much so that as she tried to move to the wall for support, she felt her legs give out at the shifting weight, the ground coming up alarmingly fast when she crumpled to the floor. Suddenly, she found herself dazed and dizzy, like her consciousness was growing faint, and she felt the heat of tears start to spill from her eyes in incessant streams, vision blurring further.

All the while the chatter turned into gasps and shouts, girls crowding around her—but she felt her head be gently moved, placed into something soft as a girl came into view above her. She stood out far above the rest with a classic beauty that would give plenty of supermodels and even Japanese idols a run for their money with long, dark hair and eyes that were a memorizing blue. However, she felt exceedingly familiar, and a nagging feeling erupted within Lexa despite the intensity of the chest pain.

"Get the nurse!" the girl ordered, voice smooth and husky, and plenty of girls went stiff—from what she could see anyway—before the blue-eyed girl's features hardened, giving a firm yell, "Go! Hurry! If not the nurse, a teacher will do! She's having an attack!"

"Y-Yes, Busujima-san!"

The pitter-patter of footsteps sounded in Lexa Kiddo's ears, symbolizing someone was going to get her help, but she was far more concerned with what the girl was called.

The girl, who had set her head into her lap, allowing the use of her thighs as a pillow. The girl, who looked down at her and offered her a gentle smile, rubbing her back reassuringly. The girl, whose name came to the forefront of her mind—the very same name that marked the girl as a popular character from a series revolving around fan-service and a deadly pandemic that turned people into flesh-eating monsters. The very same series she had just been reading a few weeks ago for old times' sake before everything went to shit.

"Keep calm, ok? Relax," Busujima Saeko murmured.

Ah. What a joke.


Terms:

*Hama-kotoba is what the dialect variety influenced by Tōhoku is called in the coastal areas of Hokkaido, especially on the Oshima Peninsula in the south. It means 浜言葉or "seashore speech", thus wouldn't exactly be heard in Tokonosu (and I say this because I'm making it be near Tokyo to some extent).

*Yatagarasu refers to a three-legged crow in Japanese mythology, with the appearance of the great bird construed as evidence of the will of Heaven or divine intervention in human affairs. Yatagarasu is the God of Guidance, though the crow, while not as celebrated today, is a mark of rebirth and rejuvenation.