Jeff strides across the quad, avoiding the throng of students lined up to participate in the dean's latest attempt to bolster school pride. After a few narrow misses, Jeff safely escapes every quirky student and professor along the way. Pulling open the library doors, he isn't surprised to hear the overhead speaker crackle to life with Dean Pelton's voice.

"Young men of Greendale! Remember that only Greendale greenbacks will be accepted at this evening's charity bachelorette auction—" The dean halts his announcement to confer with an unidentified second party. "Oh, I'm sorry, Leonard. How inconsiderate of me. Yes, old men are welcome to participate as well." A pause then a few seconds of muffled words from a higher-pitched voice. "Oh. Of course. Women can bid too." The dean clears his throat and corrects, "All men and women of Greendale—" A third indistinguishable voice interrupts. "What's that?" The hum of the third voice is followed by a drawn-out and intrigued, "Oh really? We're finally using a word for it. I'm so out of touch. I have been wondering—" A pause then the dean's voice booms. "Oh! Right! The announcement! Where was I? Ahem. All students of Greendale, stop by the quad to exchange your validated work certificates for Greendale greenbacks. Don't let that special someone you've had your eye on get snatched up by someone else!"

Jeff pulls out his chair to join the three female members of the study group at their usual table. "A Greendale bachelorette auction? I'd expect better prospects from a single's night at Wal-Mart."

After a round of gasps, Jeff responds to the loudest. "Annie, you didn't actually sign up for that, did you?"

"Yes, Jeff!" She tosses her hair over her shoulder. "We all did."

Jeff looks to his right. "Britta, not you, too? I was looking forward to a bra-burning protest against the exploitation of women."

"Please, Jeff. It's called being charitable. Something you clearly know nothing about."

Offended, he leans back. "Hey, I've donated to charity!"

"Donating sperm doesn't count," Britta replies as she rolls her eyes.

Jeff smirks, refusing to let her insult land, "It's harder work than you'd think."

"Eww!" Annie squeals. "Could we just have one day where nobody talks about sperm?"

Shirley smiles and bats her eyes, putting on her sing-song voice that means she wants something. "Speaking of that, Jeffrey, I was hoping you'd bid on me at the auction."

Jeff's brow furrows. "What does that have to do with sperm?"

Shirley's plastered-on smile falls. "Nothing. Excuse me for not having a natural segue from your weird three-way sexual tension."

"What!?" Britta and Annie exchange offended looks, each discreetly eyeing the other.

Jeff sticks to the point. "Shirley, why would I bid on you?"

"Andre isn't a student." Shirley clutches both hands over her heart. "And as a Christian woman, I wouldn't feel right about going on a date with anyone else, so I need one of my friends to bid."

Jeff leans back in his seat and injects a bit of reason into the conversation. "Shirley, I'd like to, but wouldn't it be easier on us both if you just didn't enter the auction?"

Shirley's brow wrinkles, and her voice deepens. "How would that help charity?"

"Come on!" Jeff throws his hands up. "Most of these 'charities' are just excuses for school employees not to do their jobs. We're talking about grading papers for Duncan, not feeding starving children in Africa."

"Jeff, stop making excuses." Annie raises her chin. "Sometimes it's just nice to help others."

Jeff huffs. "I'm paying to be here. I shouldn't have to work for free too."

"That is the kind of callous, entitled attitude that—" Britta is interrupted by heavy breathing and the pounding of feet.

"Annie!" Troy comes to a halt inside the study room doors. "You'll never believe who Pierce and I just saw outside."

Further down the hallway, the doors open to reveal the older man laughing with his arm slung around the shoulders of a much younger man looking very uncomfortable beneath Pierce's embrace. Trailed by Abed, the odd couple bounces into the room. Jeff's chest tightens when he hears Annie gasp.

"Hey. Hello. What's up?"

"Hey..." Jeff tries to force a smile. "Vaughn." Jeff glances at Annie, whose eyes are bigger than he's ever seen them. Vaughn bursts into a smile and rushes toward her.

"Hey!" Annie rises and takes a step toward Vaughn, who flings his arms around her.

As Vaughn spins Annie in a much-too-lengthy embrace, Jeff's eyes form a hardened glare. Doing his best to keep his forced smile, Jeff grits his teeth, showing he's not at all bothered by Vaughn's arrival.

"Hi, Vaughn," Britta says. "What are you doing back?"

He puts his hands together and grins. "Just finished enrolling in a half-semester accounting class!"

"Um..." Annie's eyebrows knit. "That's a long commute from Delaware."

"Oh, right! I forgot. I have a surprise." Vaughn beams at Annie and lifts his arms out to his sides. "I moved back! I made the national hacky sack team! We train in Denver." He wraps one arm around Annie's shoulder and pulls her in tight. "Isn't that great?"

Jeff grits his teeth harder as his forced smile widens. Vaughn's return doesn't bother him at all. In fact, he's happy— No, thrilled! Yes, Jeff is thrilled Vaughn is back! That means no more drama; no more punches in the nose; no more surprise "either you want me or you don't" conversations in the men's bathroom. And no more catching himself staring at Annie before reminding himself he's already had multiple chances and screwed them all up.

Annie's eyes connect with Jeff's for a moment before she forces a smile. "Wow… Yeah..."

Shirley smiles up at the pair. "Oh! That's nice! You two are so adorable." She reaches for her books and stands. "We should give you time to catch up."

"Noooo... Stay." Annie's voice sounds a bit like she's pleading as she pulls out of Vaughn's grasp, or that could just be Jeff's wishful thinking. Annie casually swats the air. "We should talk later. Everyone is already studying, and I can't ask you to leave. That would be rude."

Britta shrugs. "I don't mind."

Shirley gazes hopefully at each member of the group who all nod, except for Jeff, who glares at her with his arms crossed. She ignores him and smiles. "It's settled then. You two should talk and see where you go from here."

"But— But—" Annie stammers as she looks around the room in desperation.

Abed and Troy shrug like the decision is out of their hands. Oblivious to the situation, Pierce just pushes buttons and shakes his phone as he makes his way to the door. Britta and Shirley offer encouraging smiles.

Annie's eyes lock on Jeff's, silently pleading for an escape from the conversation she's not yet ready to have. Trapped in her doe-eyed gaze, the last thing Jeff wants is that unbathed stoner "reconnecting" with her. It's not like he's jealous though; Jeff Winger doesn't do jealousy.

"Jeffrey," Shirley calls in a saccharine tone from the doorway. "Are you coming?"

Vaughn gawks at Annie with a goofy grin plastered on his face. The thought of knocking that grin off his unwashed hippie face makes Jeff very happy. Okay... Is there a word that means vehemently resentful of the man who's about to win back the woman you might be in love with? Jeff is that. Whatever that is. But not jealous.

Shirley's voice goes deep and carries an ominous warning. "Jeffrey?"

Jeff snaps out of his thoughts and resigns himself to the reality that he isn't entitled to get in the way of Annie's happiness. She can date whatever hippie she wants. He pulls out of her gaze and gathers his books. Offering her a half-hearted smile, he follows the others out the door.

Annie lifts her hand in a short wave as she musters words of gratitude. "Thanks, guys..."

###

Jeff rakes his hands through his hair as he leans against the coffee shop counter. Coffee isn't strong enough to take his thoughts off the discussion happening right now in the study room, but Duncan started locking his office once he noticed his whiskey bottles were emptying. After picking up his newly arrived cup of coffee, Jeff turns toward the cafeteria tables and nearly runs into Abed.

"Jeff, will you be in my school promo?"

"No."

"You can be the lead. Well, a lead." Abed's on Jeff's heels as they cross the cafeteria. "It's kind of an ensemble thing."

Jeff slides into the booth next to Shirley. "No. Ask Britta."

Britta leans forward. "Don't try to pawn things off on me."

"Hmm…" Abed tilts his head and then nods when a light comes on behind his eyes. "I could see that character as a woman."

Britta's nose scrunches. "Uh… I don't know, Abed. I took an acting class, and I wasn't very good at it."

"Leave that to me." Abed ignores Britta's grimace and returns his attention to his other friend. "Jeff, I have a different role for you."

"Still not interested."

Abed leans in for his pitch. "So it's a short film. It's nothing big-time, but it is a romantic comedy leading man type."

"Definitely not interested."

Pierce chimes in. "I'll do it."

Abed grimaces. "Sorry, not a good fit."

"Screw your ageism!" Pierce shouts and sits back with a pout.

Holding a basket of fries, Troy slides into his seat next to Abed. "So guys, why do you think Vaughn came back? Wasn't he gonna go be famous or something?"

Brita huffs. "Pretty obvious isn't it?"

"Yeah," Abed replies. "The classic successful protagonist returns to his roots and reconnects with his hometown sweetheart who teaches him the meaning of Christmas." He tilts his head. "It's April though. And Annie's Jewish."

"No, he's come to win Annie back." Shirley beams and rests her hand on her cheek. "It's so sweet. You know, I was lucky that Andre finally saw the error of his ways, but it's not often a woman gets back together with her man." Her voice rings with determination. "Those two are gonna live happily ever after. He came back, so it's clearly meant to be."

Pierce huffs. "Pathetic! She already dumped his ass once."

Shirley grits her teeth. "No, Pierce. It's romantic. Right, Britta?"

"Don't bring me into this. I backed you up in the study room because it was clearly important to you, but I think we can all see now that this isn't just about Annie."

Shirley's tone takes on a dangerous pitch. "Just what are you implying?"

"Projection much?"

Shirley's voice drops to its most threatening; one eyebrow raises. "I'll project your ass into the taco bar."

"Fine." Britta concedes, waving her hands for emphasis. "It's true love. Annie and Vaughn are meant to be. They're gonna get married and have a picket fence and babies and live happily ever after."

Suddenly, Jeff's coffee cup slams hard onto the table without him noticing the hot liquid that splashes onto his hand. "Can we drop the Vaughn and Annie talk!?"

Troy leans away, concerned about the outburst in front of him. "Uh… Jeff, why are you yelling?"

"Because he's jealous again," Britta mutters.

Jeff scoffs; his eye starts to twitch. "I am not jealous."

Abed tilts his head as if he's scanning then replies, "She's right. You're acting jealous."

"If you're not, you should see a doctor." Troy leans forward to scrutinize Jeff. "Because that vein on your forehead is about to explode for no reason."

"Jeffrey, just leave the poor girl alone," Shirley demands. "You've messed with her head enough already."

"First of all, Shirley, she's not a girl. Second, I'm not jealous. I'm just..." Jeff takes a deep breath. He wants to claim that he's being protective, but what are the chances they buy that excuse again?

"Horny?" Pierce asks.

"Pierce!" Shirley and Britta shout in unison.

Shirley shakes her head in disgust. "What is wrong with you?"

"What? We were all thinking it." He looks to Troy for support.

Troy's face contorts with disgust. "We definitely weren't."

Jeff grabs his book and pushes up from the table. "Forget it. I'm going to class."

"We're sorry, Jeff." Britta shoots guilty looks at the others until they also mutter apologies as he walks away.

"Why should I apologize?" Pierce protests as the lone hold-out. "I didn't say anything wrong."

Britta glares at him. "You were the worst one."

###

The projector screen rolls upward, once again escaping Professor Duncan's attempts to lock it in place. Too aware of Annie sitting next to him, Jeff pretends to be engrossed in the scene at the front of the classroom. He casually leans forward and picks up his pen. Tapping it on the table, he tilts his head toward Annie and whispers, "So Vaughn's back, huh?"

Gazing ahead, she nods. "Yeah."

Jeff's fingers tighten around his pen as he pulls off the cap. "Quite a surprise."

She nods again, staring at the front of the room where Duncan continues struggling and muttering colorful British euphemisms at the screen.

Jeff keeps his voice nonchalant, scribbling into his notebook. "What did you talk about?"

She shrugs. "Nothing you'd be interested in."

Jeff nods and watches Duncan's strife for a few seconds. "So... " He scratches the pen across the page, writing nothing but a thick, black line. "Are you... Uh... Are you getting back together or anything?"

Annie turns; a smile plays at the corner of her lips. "Jeff, do you actually care about my love life?"

Jeff huffs and stammers as he drops his pen and leans back. "What? Why would I—" His face contorts, and he shakes his head. "I mean—" He snorts and focuses on the front of the room where Duncan gives up his task and announces that since the screen is broken, he fears he may have to abandon the planned YouTube videos and actually teach something.

Letting out a loud sigh, Jeff drops his face into his hands. Yes, he cares. He cares so much that he hasn't thought about anything else for the last hour. But he can't say that.

Annie's voice becomes concerned. "Jeff, I was just kidding. You don't have to get all weird again. I know you're not interested."

He looks up. He's doing it again; making Annie feel like crap for daring to show her feelings. "No, I'm willing to listen. You know... if there's anything you want to talk about."

"It's nothing."

He pushes away his impulse to avoid the topic he doesn't want to hear. "It didn't seem like nothing."

She nods and opens her anthropology textbook, flipping through the pages. "He told me I was his inspiration for making the national team."

"Oh..." Jeff leans forward tightly gripping his pen in both hands, using significant effort to listen supportively.

She continues looking at her textbook without focusing on the pages she's flipping through. "He came to win me back."

"Wow. That's... uh... that's..." He jams his pen into the notebook page and puts on a smile. "That's great. Congratulations."

She shrugs one shoulder and casts her eyes toward him. "Thanks, but I told him I need to think about it."

"Oh!?" For an unguarded second, he nearly lets his heart leap into his throat at the possibility that if she's not taking Vaughn back, there may still be a chance for him. "Annie…"

The room cheers as Duncan announces that today's anthropology lesson will be a first-hand demonstration of the effects of alcohol on Western society. Jeff gazes around at the faces of his classmates. Britta and Shirley look at pictures on Shirley's phone. Troy and Abed study pages covered in diagrams, probably planning whatever hijinks Abed was droning on about in the cafeteria. Pierce's head is flopped back, jaw slack, and snoring.

Jeff's shoulders slump. He can't bring himself to say it. His friends would hate him for ruining the group, and the whole school would mock him for being one of those losers who go after college girls because women his age won't deal with his non-committal bullshit. He can already hear the barbs from Leonard. "Go change your girlfriend's diaper, Winger." Eventually, Annie would hate him, because being the cool guy always matters most to Jeff; she'd resent him for not doing all the little things like not holding her hand as they walk to class. He's just not the guy who makes romantic gestures. He's never been that guy. Jeff is the guy who screws up his relationships because he cares more about appearances than following his heart. Maybe Vaughn isn't good enough for Annie, but at least he's the type who does all that lovey-dovey, romantic crap that makes Annie literally squeal with joy.

"Jeff?"

"Huh?"

"Were you going to say something?"

He shakes his head and picks up his pen. "Nevermind."

The door at the front of the room opens, and the man with the perpetually beaming smile strolls through. Rich waves an apology for being late then jogs up to the seat beside Annie. "Hey, guys!"

Jeff grumbles and slumps into his chair. Just what he needed right now, that obnoxiously chipper perfect grin.

Eyeing Jeff, Rich slides into his seat. "Hey, Jeff, are you feeling alright? You look terrible."

Jeff smashes his palm into his temple and rubs away the tic that he's starting to feel in his left eye. "I'm fine."

"You know, you can tell me if you're sick. I am a doctor."

Jeff groans.

###

As Jeff leaves his final class for the day, he sees a football sailing through the air on the opposite side of the quad. Not unusual. What's odd is the crowd standing nearby erupts in cheers when the ball is successfully caught. Drawing closer, Jeff isn't that surprised to discover Abed with Pavel and Garrett behind cameras following the action. Jeff navigates his way toward a familiar blond figure.

"Britta, what are they doing?"

She glances over her shoulder at him. "The promotional video."

"Promotion for what?"

She gives him a confused, derisive look. "For the school." She crosses her arms, watching the action. "It's their volunteer work."

In the distance, Troy draws his arm back to launch the football through the air. Down the "field", the receiver is none other than Doc Potterywood. And though Jeff can't be sure it isn't a weird trick of the sunlight, he thinks the football is blinking.

"How did Rich end up in this?"

"Don't ask me." Britta rolls her eyes. "I wasn't in charge of casting."

Jeff narrows his eyes at Britta. "And why are you still here?"

She fixes her eyes on him. "You really weren't paying attention today, were you? It's the part you pawned off on me."

"But you don't even need to do this phony charity stuff. You're in the auction."

She frowns. "I tried to get out of this thing, but Abed said it's inconsistent for 'my character' to refuse to be in any of his films when I encouraged him to follow his dream at the beginning of last 'season'." She huffs. "I think that's his version of a guilt trip."

"Should we keep indulging his idea that we're characters? There's no way that ends well, right?"

"I don't know." Britta shrugs. "But he promised to make my role empowering to women."

As Rich jogs toward Troy, Jeff notices a flicker of light coming off the ball once again. "Is that football blinking?"

"What football?"

"Britta!" Rich waves at her. "We're ready for you."

"Well, I've got to go defuse a bomb," Britta says as she strolls toward the cameras, rolling up her sleeves.

"Bomb?" Jeff's face contorts in confusion. "You guys know this is to promote the school right!?"