Prompt: ''Alex had never expected to encounter genetically modified hamsters''


Scorpia HQ, undisclosed location, ten days previously

The board members were facing two operatives.

''The two of you were in charge of our latest mission,'' Chase was the first to speak. ''A pretty lucrative mission, I might add, that you described as quite simple. A mission that required of you to provide the contractor with guards for his complex where he kept his 'subjects' until the time he was ready for the second part of his plan. With his subjects being hamsters – genetically modified or not – how on earth did it end up with three-quarters of your team in the psych ward because of a mental breakdown?''

The operatives looked at each other and had a quiet battle of wills. It ended with Walker scowling and facing Chase.

''It was the part where we had to, ah, interact with said subjects, that was detrimental,'' he finally said. ''While it might sound harmless, the sight of the little buggers with lasers for eyes and knife-sharp teeth that can raze diamond is pretty scary, especially after seeing them use said attributes to punish one of the other guards, for, quoting, ''letting his guard down''. Sir,'' he added as an afterthought.

''I see,'' said Chase with a look that said he didn't understand at all and planned on sending the whole team back to training to serve as a test subject when Dr Three spoke up.

''While it might seem unlikely, the operatives do in fact suffer from a severe case of PTSD and curl into the ball at the mere mention on anything to do with animals, teeth, eyes, genetics and, strangely enough, ice-cream.'' Here he stopped. ''The last part has yet to be sufficiently explained, but suffice to say that half a billion dollars they paid us in advance don't even cover the costs of either training new operatives or the therapy for the recuperating team, much less if you also add the cost of equipment used so far for the mission.'' He looked at the operatives and then at the rest of the Board. ''I have to agree that it is indeed in our best interest to abandon the operation. However, since there's no way we can get our investment back, I'd say it's only fair to stop the operation from proceeding at all.''

''And since we already invested more than enough, I feel it's more than fair to let someone else take them down – after all, it wouldn't do to give the impression that we turn on our clients,'' he continued. ''Given our past encounters I'd suggest Alex Rider – he already has the reputation of foiling different ploys, and if he succeeds in this endeavour it won't look like a set-up on the outside; it could also serve as a way for him to pay us back for our past encounters. All in favour?''

After a smattering of whispered conversations, all members agreed, and it was once again Chase's turn.

''It's decided, we'll let MI6 know. The only question remaining is which of you two will play the messenger.''

Another staring contest and Walker volunteered. Chase smiled.

''Excellent. That means you, Klaus, will be in charge of the remaining members of your team still at the complex. We'll need someone on the inside if we want Rider to succeed.''

Now it was Walker that was smirking at his partner.

''Well, what are you waiting for? You have your instructions. I expect reports on my desk by Monday.''

Dismissed, the two operatives left the room where the Board resumed planning their newest project.


Alex was staring at the clock, slowly counting down the minutes left. Just five more, then the lesson would be over and he could go home. It was his second month back from his last mission, and he was finally getting back in the whole being-an-ordinary-teenager mindset, meaning the novelty of being able to attend school again wore off and he was eagerly anticipating the weekend like all of his classmates. Except that this time, it wasn't really weekend he was looking forward to, but rather spending a couple of hours with Tom, before yet another mission. He thought he should be more upset about the fact that MI6 couldn't go more than two months without breaking their promise to at least try and give him the rest of the term off (since everyone knew that they'd never really leave him alone for good as long as he was useful to them), but he had to admit that the mission piqued his interest due to the sheer stupidity of the plan. However, it also looked like a pretty harmless mission. Of course, Alex knew better than to rely on MI6 to provide him with the real extent of the danger he'd be in, but the whole set-up sounded like it belonged to a bad spy movie, so he decided to take the mission without much fuss. It also helped that Blunt looked like he was sucking on a lemon when he asked him for clarification on the mission objective for the third time. He grinned when he remembered the debriefing.


Royal & General Bank, MI6 HQ

Alex was staring at Blunt, seemingly searching for words. He opened his mouth as if to say something and closed them again. He looked around the room, waiting for someone to jump out of nowhere and scream 'April's Fools' or something, despite it being May. He found nothing.

He turned his gaze to Mrs Jones who was sitting to his left, sucking on her customary peppermints. She was steadfastly ignoring him in favour of listing through the file in her lap, even though he would bet his non-existing salary that she didn't read a word of it since he entered the office.

Even Smithers was suspiciously silent, although the slight tremors that went through his body in regular intervals implied he was barely holding in his own reaction.

After about a minute Blunt cleared his throat. ''Any questions?'' he asked. ''If not, please pick your'' here words stuck in his throat hor a second ''mission partner'' and here went Smithers' restraint ''close the door on the way out. The car will pick you up at six-thirty on Friday.''

Alex spared a second to glare at now giggling! Smithers and then focused back on Blunt.

''Could you please repeat the mission objective,'' he asked, voice devoid of emotions, ''sir?''

It wasn't in his habit to treat Blunt so respectively, but he thought it was a small price for getting what he wanted from the man.

Blunt's facial structures did some weird thing before everything settled back into his usual flat expression.

''We need you to recover one of the hamsters from the facility and bring it here,'' he finally said.

Alex swallowed down his first two replies.

''And to do that I have to go undercover with –'' he coughed to cover up his incredulous laugh '' – a hamster as my mission partner because you suspect the organisation of planting genetically modified hamsters'' here his laughter got the better of him despite all his efforts ''to spy on the whole nation.''

Now Blunt's face looked like he was literally sucking on a lemon, especially since Jones was also ignoring his pleading eyes – and wasn't that something Alex hadn't expected to see, Blunt showing actual emotions – and Smithers was too far gone to say anything coherent or anything at all, really.

''Yes, that would be a perfect summary, yes,'' he settled on saying.

''We got wind of the operation from a former Scorpia operative that we caught last week, and during the interrogation he let the plan slip,'' he explained.

Mrs Jones tried to cover up her snort and Smithers was outright laughing now.

Alex alternated between looking at them and at Blunt. ''Am I missing something here?'' he asked. ''I wasn't aware Scorpia was a laughing matter nowadays,'' he added inquiringly.

''It's an internal joke, that's all,'' Blunt wasn't in the mood for further discussion, especially with the state his deputy was in. However, his comment only caused Jones to have to raise a hand to cover her mouth that was slowly but surely turning upwards at the corners.

''Suuuure,'' drawled Alex. ''I guess that means we can discuss how on Earth I'm supposed to persuade them that – '' here he spared a look at the cage in front of him '' – 'Cory' is my therapeutic animal and therefore they must let me enter the complex ahead of the line since it's so imperative that he get's their 'express training experience' to serve me better?'' Everyone in the room could hear the scepticism in his words. ''Also, I'd like to clarify that it's indeed a mission that will last only 36 hours, and that everything I need to do is go there, give them the hamster to 'train' and then bring you back the one they'll try to plant me as a replacement.''

''We have someone there that will make sure you get in and there will be someone to get you there and back home at the end of the mission, the communication device is on the table, Smithers already explained to you how to work it, the hamster has a recording device in the collar, your cover story is in the file, and it is indeed a relief to know you can listen to instructions,'' was Blunt's fed-up reply. He was clearly at his wits' end. ''Any other question?''

Alex stood up. ''Just thought I'd clarify,'' he shrugged.

He picked up everything from the table and slowly headed towards the exit. ''It's also really funny listening to you say hamster while trying to keep a serious face,'' he said and opened the door. ''Your facial expressions were just golden,'' he threw over his shoulder.

He closed the door on the sound of laughing. The inhabitants of the room slowly quietened. Mrs Jones was the first to speak up. ''Should we have told him that it was actually Scorpia that hired us to stop the operation because the sight of genetically modified hamsters scarred too many of their agents? And that the interrogation lasted all of twenty minutes because Walker was so eager to get out the assignment that he offered himself as the messenger, even though he knew that he was looking forward to interrogation?'' she asked. ''And that by 'having someone on the inside' we meant three of their operatives that remained in their current position slowly due to a triple risk pay?''

''No,'' was Blunt's expected answer. ''It wouldn't do to scar him needlessly before the mission. It would also make him looks suspicious if he was afraid – after all, who is normally afraid of hamsters? It would be a dead giveaway.'' Here Jones looked at him incredulously. 'He must be spending too much time around Alex,' she thought.

Alex was brought back from his musings when the bell finally rang. There was still a smile playing on his lips from reliving the memory.


The smile was well and truly gone 23 hours later when he was running for his life with a restrained hamster under his arm, two Scorpia operatives by his side and a horde of crazy laser-shooting balls of fluff that looked perfectly innocent five minutes ago when he entered the room to grab one of them.

He was told Cory would need a longer training session than what one weekend could provide, so he was told to choose one of their hamsters for the next two week. And just when he thought that he would be able to finish mission prematurely for once in his life, some sensor in the room recognised MI6 frequency in his communicator, there was some sort of shrill signal and suddenly all hamsters grew teeth and started shooting lasers from their eyes. Fortunately, Smithers gave him the injection that managed to put the hamster he grabbed to sleep so it couldn't hear the signal and change into a monstrous little fluffy ball, but that was also his only saving grace.

Ten minutes later when he was safely sequestered in the car (well, as safe as one can be in a confined space with any number of opposing organisation, especially one with an axe to grind) he reflected that he should have reassessed his original threat-level assessment as soon as he heard the word Scorpia, but, on the other hand, it was also his quickest extraction up to date. And didn't it say a lot that a terrorist organisation took better care of their operatives and apparently also subcontractors than governmental agency? The saddest part was that he wasn't even surprised. The timeliness of the extraction even made up for the awkward silence during the drive. After all, what was he supposed to say? Sorry that I single-handedly made several of your operations go boom prematurely? Probably not, although he later realised he'd have probably got away with it due to the fact that he enabled them to finally abandon the mission for good. After all, they couldn't be expected to stay in the now burning and blown up the complex. And if he received a short video call from Dr Three informing him that he was from there on carte blanche as far as Scorpia was concerned... even better.

That thought about timeliness came alive barely a week later when he was chased through the school halls by the hamster that was apparently already planted there before the plan officially started. This time it took MI6 more than half an hour to come and helo him. He just hoped they had a good explanation for the destruction of the newly-built science block.