I have been sitting on this story for about a year at this point, slowly writing it in my spare time. I have been testing it out over on A03 for the past weeks to see how people would react to the story.

I decided tonight while I am working on the sequel to Sunsets trying to get my ducks in a row while working on a timeline with the variety of characters I have managed to create and now have to deal with for it. Or maybe it's been two years I need a small break from it?

I had planned to wait a few more weeks before posting this FF, but I might as well give my readers something to read in the meantime.

I have the first part of the story written out and ready to go without the stress of writing on a deadline. It's already sitting close to 20-25ish chapters and about 65K of words at the moment, which when goes into final editing sometimes turns into more.

I am a one-woman show, I do my best during editing, using multiple editors and Grammarly. Please forgive whatever I miss, but truly I do try my best.

Tina


September 2017

I stared at the white stick in my hand, Ingleside was completely deserted thankfully. Dad was on call at the hospital, Shirley was at his part-time job or was it college? While my mom who was the principal at the local high school was at school, given it was a P.A day for the students had been given the day off.

My high school, the one that all us kids graduated from.

The one that I was supposed to graduate from.

I took a quick peek at the small window viewing of the stick, my heart beating fast as I felt the panic rise in my stomach. I quickly fell to the floor from the side of the tub and promptly vomited my breakfast into the toilet.

It told me exactly what I already knew.

I moaned as laid my head on the seat not caring about hygienics. I waited for a moment before wiped my mouth as I stood up shakily, still clutching the test in my hand.

I was in grade eleven, a dancer whose only dream was to dance in one of the two best Canadian Ballet Companies. Yet here I was almost two months past my sixteenth birthday holding a pregnancy test. There was never a lack of sex education in our house. My parents didn't expect us to be foolish. Sexual health was a common topic and condoms were always available to us. While us girls were given birth control talks as soon as we made an interest in boys and got our periods.

They had no left any excuse for foolishness. They both felt like they could easily usher their flock. Through the ins and outs of those teenage years without becoming grandparents. Mostly because they had been young parents themselves. My eldest sibling was born three months after our mother turned eighteen. Two days after her high school graduation. While dad had been in his second year of college.

No one in the family had been extremely pleased, of course. Though Aunt Marilla often reminded my mom in a stern but gentle voice, 'What is done is done, Anne'. So Joy was born with as much fanfare that my mother could muster. Despite fighting to stay in school and dealing with losing most of her friends back in 1985.

How was I going to tell them?

All I knew I was going to be the biggest disappointment this house had ever seen. Sure we all had our moments of shame, but this would top the cake.

For I was the one who now was staring at a positive test.

Walter would be disappointed.

Walter would give me that look he does so well when I do something he disapproves of. He looked so happy the day he came home for the weekend. Dad had taken me to write my class five learners' permit days after my sixteenth birthday. I failed three times before I managed to pass the test and was given my license. I was excited as I sat on the driver's side for the first time. Trying to make sense of everything I was supposed to do as my father gave me my first driving lesson.

By the time I pulled into the driveway, the family had been waiting on the porch all cheering. I skipped out suddenly happier as I did a small curtsey before skipping up the steps. Maybe freedom wouldn't be that bad?

Then I saw him, his dark hair as he pulled me into one of his hugs. Walter was home!

He was the big brother I looked up to, he was my idol growing up and now at twenty-two. He just graduated from University and was going on a trip with a bunch of long time friends. They were headed to Egypt and a few weeks in the desert, before making their way across Europe all the way to London before returning for Christmas. He was excited as he packed as he went on about the trip and what was expect and who was going on the trip.

If I had only known what was in store.

How Kenneth Ford would walk into my life once again and never leave.

Kenneth Ford, he was the anomaly of my life.

I remember having a crush on Ken when I was young. He was handsome and reminded me of the boys from the poster that hung on my wall from various bands when I was ten. He was cool and then he moved away even though our family kept in touch. Our mothers being best friends. He was close to six years older than I was and the last time I had seen him I was twelve.

"What happened to that ten-year-old I left here! You're all grown up!" he grinned at me and held up his hand for a high five. I fight back an eye roll at the high five, what was I five? Still, I twirled for him in the dress my sister Joy had chosen. A light minty green 'junior' bridesmaid dress for me to wear. It was long and floaty with delicate spaghetti straps. A neckline just high enough to be modest for a twelve-year-old.

I had spent the previous six months watching what I ate to wear that dress. Of course, my excuse was to practice dance. To work on strengthening my ankles, my new passion for dance was to be on pointe. To look like the tall willowy ballerinas that hung up on my bedroom wall for that dress Joy picked out. I didn't like my growing body. While I had grown and slimmed-down, nothing would stop my breasts from growing. I didn't like how the boys in the class snickered and commented about my sports bra I wore underneath my leotard.

He was the reason I was in this mess as I looked down at the two little lines on the test once again hoping they changed.

They hadn't

How was I going to tell him?

Was it even possible to tell him? My mind wandered to 'that' night, that I remembered vaguely. Though the morning after was burned into my memory.


Six weeks previous

There was a distraught look on his face when I re-entered the kitchen. He had given me a ride home, despite my initial refusal during the awkward morning wake up. I had excused myself to go change into some clean clothes when we arrived. Shorts and a pastel leotard that I wore often enough for dance class.

The house was deserted which was strange for the summertime. Where were the twins? Shirley?

He looked around hesitantly unsure of how to act around me. He looked around the place, on anything besides me as I walked past him to get some coffee. He was trying to decipher the situation.

"Rilla," He finally spoke as I took a swig of cold brew from the fridge. I could feel his gaze fall on me for the first time. I was also fully aware that I wasn't wearing a bra, and I was slightly shorter than I was the last time he had seen me. I had worn platforms the previous night and this morning I barely made it to his shoulder of his 6'2 frame. My hair was just above my shoulders in a ray of wild curls that were a vibrant purple at the moment.

The look on his face spoke volumes of how he felt, and how he felt for waking up next to his best friend's younger sister. "Ken, it's fine I'm sixteen, it's all consensual and legal. We can just forget about it?" I offer him.

Just like how I tried to forget about Fred Arnold breaking up with me after I had given him everything. About being told ballet school was too expensive, how life was so unfair when it came to my dreams.

"But—?" Ken started.

"Were we both not drunk?" I asked him pointedly. I had been, not to mention the few hits of the joint I had taken. He had been drinking as I remember some sort of can in his hand. "No one was taken advantage of. I'm not some virgin who is going to cry rape. Was it a tad surprising to wake up with you next to me, sure, but it could have worse." I told him in a hushed voice.

I could have woken up to Fred Arnold, again. Giving in to his pleas of sex once more. Instead, I had vague memories of Ken's kisses and hands on my body. Not necessarily a bad memory if I had to have a memory of it.

"You're my friend's little sister," Ken let out his guilt. "But what were you even doing at that party? Why were you calling yourself Marnie?"

I found myself shrugging. Going to house and beach parties was something my friends Rena and Ellie had gotten me to do. They had nicknamed me Marnie over the last semester of school.

"Does it matter? I was at a party big deal?" I shrug ignoring his question about my nickname. "We were safe were we not?"

"I saw a condom wrapper in the trash bag" Ken replied with a solemn nod. At least someone looked because it only occurred to me at that moment. "And it does matter Rilla, you were in a space full of drunk guys. And wasn't your birthday only last month? What if you were still fifteen?" He asked.

I nodded. "My birthday was on the 17th of July and all that means nothing illegal happened. Either way, I was drunk as well and look who I managed to fuck?" I spat it out. I was annoyed at his condescending response. He stood for a moment unsure of what to say. We couldn't change what happened. Because it happened. He felt guilty, and I was too hungover to care at moment. Even if he did have a point that my birthday had only been barely a month before.

"Well, I should have known better," he spoke after a moment. "I should have recognized you long before I woke up next to you." What he was thinking was that he should have recognized me before undressing me. Except four years had passed and I had inches to my body in more ways than height. Dance had toned my body. I wasn't the twelve years old he had seen four years ago.

It's still rather fresh, although hazy in my mind

I had been dancing to Ed Sheeran, which blasted from the portable speaker. Drinking from my water bottle filled with vodka and diet soda around the bonfire. We had driven out to the beach near the lighthouse. The old fresnel light flashing above us in steady time. A rhythm that lent to the atmosphere of the party, loud music and dancing. There I saw him across the way, leaning against a rock with a drink in his hand. Talking to some boys that I didn't necessarily know, then again I don't know many at this party. Catching each other gaze we gravitated toward each other. Something gave me a thrill as I looked at him. How he reminded me of someone that I couldn't quite place in my drunken state.

Soon we were dancing, laughing as I pulled him to the lighthouse. His lips finding mine as my friends were yelling out Marnie as I disappeared. The feeling of his lips on my neck, my hand running over his body, down over his hips.

"You called yourself Ben," I say thinking over the night. I look in the fridge once more and checked the expiration on the soy yogurt container. Frowning at the fat content in the process before I put it back in the fridge.

"No, I did not," Ken shook his head. "You must have miss heard me." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Can I have at least some coffee?"

I shrugged but passed him the pitcher of cold brew. "It's black," I warn him. I watch him drink while I continue to think of the previous night.

My small red halter dress I wore to combat the humid heat of the night. How we wandered down the beach, to one of the many pitched tents around. I could still hear the faint melody of an Ellie Goulding song in the background. As the ties of my halter came undone, his shirt hitting the floor. I remember how I stumbled slightly falling into him, looking up I kissed him trying to cover my misstep.

I shrug. "Well, at least I wasn't calling you Todd or something."

He looks at me and pokes his head into the fridge. To find everything organic, sugar-free on one lone shelf. Milk and eggs segregated to another shelf. "When did this house have healthy food? Where is the ever supply of bacon?"

"Since I became pretty much vegan," I shrug. Mentally I debating if I wanted to go raid the medicine cabinet for Plan B. Did Dad even still stock that? Or did he pass them along when the twins went to college?

I don't have time to think about it as the back door opens suddenly. I watch my Dad stroll in from his early morning run. The one he takes when he gets off nightshift. I watch him take the earbuds out of his ear. "Ken, what are you doing here? I thought you would be in Toronto until you leave in a few weeks."

"Yes, uh I just got stopped by to see the family who gets in tomorrow. I got in last night and spent the night over the harbour at my cousins" Ken stumbled over his words. Suddenly I understood why he was at the party. The party was next door to his cousins, but why was he sleeping in a tent? I gave him a confused look. "I ran into Rilla walking back from her friends." He made an excuse that he didn't need to make and I gave him a look for it.

"Of course, but why didn't they just leave you a key?" Dad claps him on the shoulder. He had always been like another son. I wonder what he would do he knew what exactly happened between Ken and me last night.

"They offered, but since I am going to be sleeping in a tent for the next few months, I figured it is good practice," Ken replied. Playing it cool like he had done this before, but he gave me an explanation that explained the tent and why he was there.

"I'm going to go shower," I started trying to get out of the room.

"Come here for a moment sweetheart, did you eat breakfast?" My dad says, I only nod which I see Ken's brow furrow. He knows I just lied about eating, but doesn't say it. I drag my feet towards dad. "I hope you had fun at the sleepover last night," he presses a kiss on the crown of my head. I know this move, as he is trying to smell any scent of alcohol that may have been consumed, or more likely spilled. The legal drinking age is nineteen on the island. I luckily sprayed my hair with dry shampoo as soon as I got home.

Ken watches me, taking in all my lies but says nothing.

Over the years and with me being the youngest they had gotten more relaxed and less concerned about parties. Not to mention I rarely went out, unless it was with a few good friends who I went to dance with. I was too focused on dance to mess up my life. Their train of thought seemed to be of how much trouble could I get into? They never imagined me going to the old lighthouse to drink and skinny dip in the moonlight with my new friends. But I did and did multiple other things over the summer when I came back from summer intensive angry for not being able to go back.

Then again I never thought I would land myself in this predicament…


"Apparently we weren't safe enough," I groan at the memory of the memory as tears started to stream down my face. The weight of my predicament is slowly washing over me.

I was pregnant.

I was pregnant from a guy who was someone in the middle of now where. A guy who was six years older than me.

A guy who I had no phone number for, a guy I had no way of contacting at all easily.

Oh god, I was pregnant.

Oh god, I was pregnant.


A few notes for this story.

Before anyone comments about ages...Please read this.

The age of Consent is a tiered system in Canada...At 16 Rilla is of age, even if Ken is 22.

I don't plan on them being a couple until a few years down the road either way. They need to learn how to be parents before they can even think about being together in any sort of way.

Age of Consent in Canada
Age 12-13. A person can consent aslong as they are in a relationship that the other person is no older than a twp year age gap.

Age 14-15. A person can consent as long as they are within a five year age gap.

Age 16+ Can consent to any relationship as long as the person in question is not in the role of authority towards the other person or illegal in any way.

I'm not saying it right for Rilla and Ken. Clearly, there is some guilt and issues between their ages and I would be absolutely livid if my 16-year-old stepdaughter came home and said she slept with a 22-year old. But alas my mind still makes me write things that as a step-parent I would die from!

Ken's age was the reason I tested this out on A03 because I wanted to gauge some reactions before committing it to FF. I have noticed that A03 and FF can draw different readers and crowds. I only meant to do a few chapters but It was well received and it ran away with me.

That is all! I hope everyone enjoys this story! I should be updating on Saturday or Sunday I believe each week!

Tina