A figure steps out in front of you. He is a tall, young man dressed in an english noble man's clothes from the late 19th century. He has red, shiny irises and hair of flowing gold. He then stands in a weird pose twisting his hand in front of his face in some way that certainly looks cool but must hurt. He then says:

"You thought this was going to be some classic, bittersweet JotaKak half-lemon-half-porn one-shot, BUT IT WAS I, DIO!"