DON'T OWN THE BOONDOCKS

Who am I if I were to try and describe myself to someone what would I tell them I mean if I asked others who I am what would they say they'd probably say that im smart quiet and peaceful but is any of that true or is it just what they see me as there are all different kinds of intelligence of course so theoretically everyone has some sort of intelligence and quiet that's not exactly a huge achievement I mean a worm is pretty quiet you don't see them getting medals or anything same with peaceful I mean does anything really matter I mean in the grand scheme of things all we are are just specks of dust floating around on a minuscule rock in the vast quantities of the universe nothing really matters and while that's a comforting thought when you just embarrassed yourself in front of the cute girl at school it's less comforting in the throes off depression I don't know maybe some people just can't be happy no matter how much they try their brains just aren't wired that way I wish that I could be someone else for a while maybe then I could actually be happy and would stop thinking so much maybe then I could actually do something of service to this world I mean it's not like I've tried I've buried myself in so much knowledge and information that it would take a team of archaeologists to find me I've meditated so long sometimes that I've woken up with bruises from trying so hard to calm myself down I've even tried ADHD medications even though I was skeptical to stop my thoughts from taking over those we're by far the worst all they did was create a block in my head that made thinking hurt and it felt like I wasn't the real me I really don't know what to do anymore I don't exactly have anyone that has the same brain as me then maybe I could find some solidarity with them but nope not for me I feel like im trapped on an island with no one else and im going crazy trying to escape I guess that's just life for me just keep burying myself in knowledge and try and ignore my thoughts till I can't anymore and then break down and repeat the cycle all over again maybe it'll get better when im older I doubt it will though.

AUTHOR NOTE this was inspired by blackmore11s human and I hope I captured the feeling of it please review if you liked it thanks