Nanosecond—minute

Second – hour

Minute – day

Hour – Month

Cycle - Year


Bob grabbed the handle of Matrix's recovery room, went to turn it... and then stepped back, having lost all of his courage. He'd been standing here for a good thirty nanoseconds, trying to work up the strength to go in and actually talk to his friend. This hadn't been so difficult in his head; when Bob woke up this morning, his plan was to bring over a couple of coffees and hang around for a nice chat, just to try to get a feel for where the Renegade's mind was.

But, User, now that he was actually here it was too damn hard! It was one thing to know the state Enzo was in, and it was one thing to have even seen the damage while his friend was still unconscious, but it would be another to have to see and talk to Matrix while he was awake. Could Bob really just sit there and pretend everything was fine while trying not to stare at the empty space where his friend's left arm was supposed to be?

'It's not a matter of 'can I' do something,' Bob reminded himself sternly. 'I have to do this. I'm the one responsible for Enzo ending up like this; I have to take responsibility and be there for him.'

With the mental scolding, the Guardian took a deep breath. He straightened up, readjusted his grip on the coffees, and knocked on the door.

A moment passed, and Bob would hear a grunt followed by some muffled swears and the rustling of fabric. "COME IN!"

Bob didn't let himself hesitate and immediately pushed the door open.

"You better not be here to stick me with anymore damn- Oh! Hey, Bob," Matrix said, face shifting from an annoyed scowl and to... well, it wasn't a smile, but his face did relax as he settled back into his inclined, adjustable hospital bed.

"Hey, En- Matrix," Bob forced a smile, holding out a coffee. "Brought you something. Dot mentioned you weren't too happy with the food here."

The Renegade snorted, taking the cup, "The food is fine -I've had worse plenty of times- it's all this sitting on my ass that is getting to me. Thanks for the coffee... but I don't suppose you snuck anything harder for me in?"

"No, sorry," Bob shook his head with a stiff chuckle while fighting back the urge to wince at the question. 'Please, kid, tell me what I can do to stop you from drinking? What can I say to stop you from being so angry all the time? What can I say to make you whole again?'

Nothing came to mind, so he just pressed on with a, "Try not to give the docs too much trouble, eh, Pal? They can't be that bad."

That just got in another snort, "Patch is alright, I guess, but the rest keep trying to force all these painkillers on me."

"Well, they're just trying to help you, and I'm sure the doctors know best so maybe you should take them."

"Nah, I don't like the way they make me feel," Matrix shook his head. "Dull my reaction time off and all of that."

'You're in recovery,' Bob thought sadly, 'You don't need to be sharp or alert, you just need to relax.'

But he couldn't bring himself to say it; in fact, horrible as it was, Bob could barely bring himself to look at Enzo. The Renegade was healing well, far faster than any of the doctors had predicted, but that didn't change the fact that his right eye was covered by a thick pad of gauze. It didn't change that there were splints on the majority of his... remaining fingers that matched his splinted right ankle, and his entire torso was wrapped up tight beneath the thin hospital shirt so as not to irritate his ribs or chest lacerations. Basically, Matrix looked as if he'd been forced through a data shredder.

Bob could have dealt with all of that though, could have overlooked it; he could have pretended they were just a couple of relatively minor injuries that happened to occur at the same time.

If it weren't for the painful, obvious elephant in the room -Enzo's missing arm.

The limb had been amputated cleanly beneath the shoulder before being painstakingly stitched up by surgeons and carefully bandaged by attending nurses. The missing right arm was glaringly conspicuous in its absence and something that both repulsed and drew Bob's gaze, though he tried not to make it obvious.

He clearly wasn't doing a very good job at that though, because Matrix easily followed his life of sight and the Renegade gave an awkward fake cough, "It doesn't hurt, not really. It just kind of itches."

.

.

.

"Bob? Bob?"

The Guardian blinked, shaking himself to attention. Venturing out, he offered a simple, "That's... good."

"Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it'll hurt eventually -phantom limb pain and all that," the Renegade continued, seeming far less bothered than he should be. "Honestly, only having one eye again is worse. My depth perception is off, and I keep bumping into things whenever I walk around."

"You're walking around?" Bob cut in, eyebrows shooting up and nodding toward the ankle brace.

"I've got to move around at least a little bit or I'll end up punching someone," Matrix growled, his entire muscular body rolling in one smooth flexing motion. "Anyway, it's not that big of a deal. I spent my first two cycles in the Games without an eye and managed just fine; give me some time and I'll adjust."

Bob finally managed to force himself down into one of the slippery, uncomfortable armchairs by his friend's bedside. "You know, there isn't a rush to get... battle-ready . The city is still repairing, there isn't anyone to fight or protect."

"The games are still coming, aren't they?" the larger sprite grunted, eyes... eye narrowing. "I can't just sit on my ass getting fat, lazy, and rusty. I need to stay sharp; I need to stay vigilant. Patch is coming by tomorrow with a replacement for my eye and some sample prosthetics for my arm. He says I'll need a few week-cycles of physical therapy to make sure everything is healed and calibrated right, but then I'll be back better than ever."

Bob heard himself sigh before he realized he was actually doing it. "I just think that-"

"Just leave it, Bob!" Matrix snapped. "It's my body and my choice! Besides, I don't remember asking for your opinion about anything!"

'No... you didn't. You never do anymore,' the Guardian thought bitterly. Annoyance bubbling up, Bob gritted his teeth, "Maybe... but that doesn't change the fact that I still care about you, Enzo! So why would you let me?"

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.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the Renegade denied, turning away to look out the window.

"Oh, no, I'm not letting you run away from this conversation again!" Bob growled, storming over back into Matrix's line of sight. Grabbing hold of him by the sprite's broad, muscular shoulders, he forced Enzo to look him in the eye. "Look, I get what happened was... bad, but-"

"Bad?" Matrix huffed bitterly, trying to pull away.

The Guardian tightened his grip "It was awful, I can't imagine how bad it was! And I get that you probably blame me for it, but, Enzo, you can't keep going on like this! Hate me if you have to! Yell, scream, hit me! I don't care but, for the User's sake, you need to find a way to let go of all this anger and pain!"

Matrix growled, "Alright, you want to hear the truth, Bob? I-"

Woosh!

The door to the room swung open, drawing both men's attention, as AndrAIa slipped into the room, a tray of food balanced in her hands.

"Good news, Sparky, I managed to snag us some-" her voice trailed off as she spotted Bob. The Guardian watched as AndrAIa's eyes widened in shock before narrowing with a hard set mouth. Bob's stomach sunk; AndrAIa's expression hammered home the realization that he wasn't welcome here.

The appearance of the Game Sprite immediately shut down the brewing argument between the two young men. Matrix's jaw snapped shut and he pulled himself away from Bob but forced a small smile for his girlfriend.

"Hey, Babe," he rasped. "Got anything good for lunch?"

The question seemed to shake AndrAIa out of her annoyance and she smiled adoringly at the Renegade. "Yep, the cafeteria was serving soup today; I managed to score some clam chowder for myself and, for you, a big steaming bowl of beef stew. Yum! "

Matrix rolled his... eye and groaned, throwing back his head dramatically. "More soup? The nanosecond I get out of here, I'm going to the nearest barbeque joint and eating them out of ribs."

"Poor baby," AndrAIa cooed jokingly, setting up the little folding table that was attached to Matrix's hospital bed and arranging the bowl of soup, bread rolls, fruit cup, and water bottle on it. "Now, eat your soup like a good boy while I talk to Bob."

"Huh, what?"

Bob could only blink in confusion as AndrAIa grabbed him by the upper arm and hauled him out of the room into the hospital hallway. She tugged him far enough away so that any conversation they had would not be overheard by Matrix before stopping and whirling around on Bob.

"You can't be here!" she snapped. "I don't want you messing with Matrix's head, not now!"

"Mess with his head?" Bob sputtered, trying to wrap his head around what had just been said to him. "I'm trying to help Enzo. He needs rest and healing, not that he seems to understand that!"

"Of course he does, but he doesn't need to hear your proselytizing. He doesn't need your so-called help," AndrAIa growled back, jabbed her finger into his chest.

'So-called? What the... ' Confused and in desperation, Bob gently took the Game Sprite by the shoulders, "AndrAIa, what is going on with you? I know what happened is terrible but the two of us have always had a good relationship so I can't understand why you're angry with me."

SLAP!

The Guardian's head jerked to the side at the force of the slap.

"You don't understand?" AndrAIa spat, pulling herself away. "User, Bob, you don't understand how learning you had a hand in Megabyte coming to Mainframe could change how people feel about you? How I see you? How Matrix sees you?"

Bob flinched hard.

Megabyte had relished greatly in revealing Bob's and the incident with Dixon Green that helped to bring him to the city. The reactions from everyone had been... harsh. And while that was to be expected -he was still surprised that Dot hadn't dumped him- it didn't mean that getting the cold shoulder from the people he loved hurt any less.

'If I could go back, if I could change what happened, how much would I do differently?' Bob thought mournfully to himself. He still believed that viruses could be saved, especially now that he had seen it himself with Hexadecimal, but considering all the horrors Megabyte had reaped onto Mainframe...

'No,' he mentally shook himself. 'I have to stand by my convictions, even if no one else agrees with them.'

"Look, I will never forgive myself for all the destruction cause but I just want to help you all," Bob pleaded. "Enzo... he is really suffering, in more ways than just once, and recovery is hard, harder still if the person needing it refuses to accept help. You and I both know he'll push his body until it breaks down. We need to convince him to rest, to heal. I share... so much of the blame for what happened to Enzo and I want... I need to help him. Why won't you let me?

AndrAIa just gave him a painful look and stepped back, shaking her head. "Not everyone needs you, Bob. Not Matrix, not me, and definitely not..."

She trailed off then, looking away.

"Definitely not, who?" Bob questioned, concern and curiosity turning over in his mind.

The Game Spite said nothing but the way her hands curled protectively over her stomach spoke volumes.

Feeling like he'd been punched in the gut, Bob sucked in a breath, "User, AndrAIa, you're... you're downloading a baby. You and Enzo, you're going to be parents! Does Enzo-"

"Sparky loves you, Bob," she said, slow and sad. "He loves you and he hates you and admires you and resents you. And I know you love him too but you're no good for him right now. He agonizes over those conflicting emotions, of wanting you to be proud of him and thinking you're an idiot, and it's going to destroy him if I let it. I can't let that happen, especially not now."

AndrAIa looked at him and there was no anger left in her eyes, only pain and regret and desperation. "The little sprite you knew and loved is gone, Bob. The kid who followed you around like a puppy is gone and he is never coming back no matter how much any of us wish it; the Games chewed him up and spat him out and all that is left is the remains. But it is those remains that I love and that I need to survive. So, I'm, begging you, Bob, please, let the Enzo you knew and loved go. For everyone's sake."

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.

.

"I can't do that, AndrAIa," Bob whispered, shaking his head. "I can't just give up on someone I love, especially not when they're hurting."

He turned then and began walking away; not to go back to Matrix's hospital room, though, and Bob wasn't sure when... or even if he'd ever feel comfortable going back. No, he wasn't sure where he was planning on going but, before he got far, Bob heard one last choked line from AndrAIa.

"But you don't love this version of Enzo, Bob, and I'm not sure you ever will be able to."


Seconds later, it had cycled to night and the hospital was quiet, it's lights dimmed and its hallways mostly empty. Bob's footsteps echoed as he got closer and closer to Matrix's recovery room. He'd spent the last few seconds doing... User, he wasn't even sure. He had probably just been wandering the building, a million different thoughts turning over in his mind as he tried to process everything AndrAIa had said, and hadn't said, to him.

'The kid is going to have a kid of his own soon,' he mused. 'Dot is going to flip when she hears this. And Lil' Enzo, he is going to be a... old brother? Uncle? User, that entire thing is confusing. Still, I bet the kiddo will be cute; I'll have to teach it-'

Bob froze. Would he even be allowed in the child's life? AndrAIa made her thoughts on him being near Matrix very clear, so there was no reason to believe she'd want him around their child.

The thought of being blocked out of that little family nearly broke something inside of him. So long ago, Bob had hoped he'd get to see Enzo grow up big and strong, that he'd get to see Enzo go to the Academy and be a full-fledged Guardian. To be completely shut out of Enzo's life... the idea was heartbreaking.

For some reason, it was easier to open the door to the hospital room this time. And, as he did so, a thin stream of dim light from the hallway cut through the darkness of the room and fell across Enzo's sleepy face.

The sight of the sleeping young Renegade almost had Bob backing out of the room but then Matrix's remaining eye cracked up and he froze.

The two stared at one another, neither breathing, until Bob eventually croaked out a single, "Hi."

"Hey," Enzo blinked. Then he jerked his head, "Come in."

Bob took the invitation and stepped inside, letting the door fall shut. He didn't approach the bed though, feeling as if every step he took to close the physical distance would only widen the emotional distance between the two of them.

It was silent, the only sounds being made by the beeping of the various hospital machines Enzo was hooked up to and the soft, sleepy breathing of AndrAIa from where she slept curled up beside Matrix on the hospital bed.

"So I'm guessing AndrAIa told you about everything?" Enzo whispered, mindful of his sleeping lover.

"She... she told me enough," Bob nodded. "I- is that what you really want, Enzo? For me to leave you alone, to let you just suffer?"

Matrix's face twisted with pain and anger. "I don't know," he eventually admitted. "Bob, I look at you and I see my childhood hero... but I look and also see someone who has a hand in destroying so much that I care about. And I... and I just don't know! "

Bob winched at the hurt and the loss in his friend's voice.

Still, he gave an understanding nod, "Yeah, I understand why you're hurt, En- Matrix, but I'm still the same guy I've always been; I'm still the same guy who took you to play jet ball and circuit racing. You've got to understand, Megabyte revealed what he did to throw all of us, to get in everyone's head. He wasn't strong enough to face us as a unit so be needed to divide us."

"But he was right, wasn't he?" Enzo pressed. "He was telling the truth, wasn't he? You had the chance to destroy Megabyte, or... whatever he was at the time, but you didn't! And for what? An experiment? Is that what we all were to you, an experiment? "

"NO!" Bob shouted, horrified by the very thought. "No, it was never like that! You guys are my family! I made... a lot of mistakes, I'll admit that, but I never did anything to intentionally hurt any of you! And I know you won't agree but I stand by my stance that immediate deletion of viruses is not the way to go."

"How can you still say that?" the Renegade demanded.

"Because I've seen that they can be rehabilitated," the Guardian replied earnestly, "and you have too."

"Hexadecimal? Come on, Bob, she took on Daemon for you, not for the good of the net," Matrix rolled his eye. "And she was just one virus, one out of hundreds, out of thousands! She proves nothing!"

"But-"

" Ennnzzz... " AndrAIa grumbled, turning over in her sleep and snuffling into Matrix's chest. Both men froze and watched the Game Sprite settled back into her dreams.

Once her breathing had even again, Enzo turned to give Bob a hard, but tired look. "You should go, Bob."

We'll never agree. We'll never be like we used to. We'll never be the same.

Bob could hear the subtext loud and clear.

"Enzo, please! I-"

His old friend turned away, "It's late, Bob. I should get some rest."

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"Alright," the Guardian whispered, head hung but already reaching for the hospital room door. "I understand."


Bob had passed every class in the Academy with flying colors. He graduated with the highest of Honors. Everyone had expected great things out of him.

But he couldn't mend his broken friend.

He hadn't defended him from harm.

He had failed.

'I am so sorry.'