CHAPTER 9

She'd really thought Lee would have just been happy to drop her off and leave her to walk home alone this time, but it wasn't to be. He insisted on walking her the two blocks, commenting inanely on the beautiful night and bright stars as if they'd been on an actual date.

It was surreal.

She'd become suspicious of his motivation when he seemed in absolutely no hurry to rid himself of her. He'd even slowed them down a bit to point out some blooming flowers in her neighbor's flower beds. Lee taking his sweet time walking her to her back door defeated the point of him parking a block away, she thought irritably. The neighbors might see them. Her mother. The boys. Joe.

Dotty had left the back-porch light on for Amanda as if she had known her daughter would not be using the front door. The two of them moved together through the alley between her house and the neighbors, keeping out of the direct light as though to keep from being seen.

Every time Lee ever brought her home through or met her at her backdoor, Amanda felt like a teenager sneaking around and afraid that her mother would pop up at any moment.

Lee led her with his hand at the small of her back around to the back of the house just as she saw lights light up the alley they'd just vacated.

"Hmm," he murmured in her ear, "Going out again?"

She shivered from his breath on her neck. "Joe must be back with the boys."

"Oh, and you didn't want to join them?"

"I wasn't invited. And besides, I couldn't," she answered, leaning back slightly into him without thinking about what she was doing. "We had plans."

His voice lowered, "You could have begged off, Amanda."

They edged closer to the back door, still under the shadow of the house and out of view from windows.

"I told you my personal life wouldn't affect my work," she reminded him.

"Yes. You did say that," he said flatly, stopping just short of coming into the light, his tone surprising her. "Thanks for the reminder."

She spun on her heel to look at him but his face was hidden in the shadow. "Lee—"

"Mom!" Phillip's muffled voice came from the other side of the house and the sound of footsteps and the door slamming filled the air. "We're back! Star Wars was awesome!"

Amanda looked to the door and then back at Lee.

He nodded toward the house and popped his eyebrows. "Saved by the bell. See you tomorrow."

**BREAK***

She was just clicking the door shut when the boys came running into the kitchen with Joe lagging right behind them. Plastering on a bright smile, Amanda moved away from the door and asked, "How was it?"

"It was awesome!" The boys exclaimed in unison, both running up to her to hug her tightly enough that she had to steady herself by placing a hand on the counter.

"Mom, you should have been there!" Phillip's excitement was evident as he began a blow-by-blow account of their evening, pulling away from her to show how the lightsaber duel went down.

It pained her slightly to interrupt him by saying, "All right, all right. I know you're excited, but part of the deal was that you knew it would be late and that there is school in the morning. Upstairs, now, both of you, and get ready for bed." Their grumbling made her smile but she stayed firm. "I mean it. And don't forget to brush your teeth and wash your face!" She called after them as they made their way out of the kitchen.

The two boys barely missed Dotty, who was coming in from the back hallway. "Whoa, boys!"

"Hey, Grandma!" They swept past her in a flurry of baseball caps and jackets.

Dotty watched them go for a moment before turning back to survey Amanda and Joe. With a sparkle in her eye that told Amanda she was up to something, her mother asked, "Did you have a nice evening?"

Joe seemed to not realize what Amanda did and answered, "Oh, it would have been good to have Amanda with us, you know, the whole family for an evening out. That would have made it that much nicer."

Dotty's smile widened slyly. "Oh, that's so nice, Dear." She turned her attention to Amanda. "And how about you, Sweetie? Did you have a nice time with your mystery man?"

And there it was.

Stunned, Amanda exclaimed, "Mother!"

Joe's head whipped around to stare at her with a shocked expression. Looking past him, she directed her words to her mother. "You know I had to work on those prints from last week's project tonight."

Dotty shrugged and moved past both of them to take a glass down from the cupboard, making her way to the sink to fill it. "Well, I know you say you had prints to look at, but really," she chuckled, "who would believe that this late at night? You know it's much more exciting to think of you out with some handsome fellow in a flashy car."

Amanda schooled her features as best she could and turned away from Joe's probing stare. "Mother, really. Your imagination is running away with you."

Taking her drink with her, Dotty turned back to look at both of them. "You know, Honey, there would be nothing wrong with just admitting it." And then she disappeared out of the kitchen.

Joe moved to leaned against the counter and fingered the roses he'd brought her earlier, which Amanda just noticed were now sitting on the counter. Her mother must have moved the vase from the living room, she thought absently. Her mind was racing, wondering just how much Dotty noticed and never let on. Could it be possible…?...Nah...Right?

"So, hot date, huh?" Joe's voice interrupted her worrying and she jumped.

"Hot…?" She thought back to how out of place she'd felt at Club Orchid and stifled a laugh and denied it, saying, "not in the slightest." She'd felt far from hot tonight…until that kiss.

Oh, lord, that kiss.

When she had time to think about it, alone in her room, she'd remember every bit of it -and yes, it had been hot. Her body flared with an unexpected wanting. Flushed, she moved to the sink to fill a glass with water and kept her back to Joe while she calmed her thrumming heart.

"You know, I don't often think of you, you know, moved on from where I left you," came Joe's voice from behind her. "Seeing you and the boys this week…"

She carefully set her glass in the bottom of the sink and placed both hands on the edge of the counter, steeling herself for what he was about to say. "Yeah?"

"I know you said you never wonder about…the what ifs, Amanda, but you know, I do—and I just-"

Her fingers tightened on the lip of the counter. All feelings of lust for Lee gone, Amanda felt nothing but a rock in the pit of her stomach. "Joe—"

"No, just listen. I know…I messed up. I left you with the boys, and I went my own way. I love what I do…you know that. And I was going to wait to tell you…but I've been invited to be the liaison between Estoccia and the U.S. Here. In the states. In D.C. If I take it, I won't have to go back to Estoccia, except for special occasions, perhaps once or twice a year, for a week at a time, tops."

She swiveled around, keeping herself anchored against the counter with her hands tightly grasping the edge of the Formica. "You're moving home?"

"Well, I haven't said yes yet."

They stood with the island between them. She was glad for the space and barrier. "Are you going to? Say yes?"

"What would you say if I did?"

She looked directly at him. "I have no say in what you decide, Joe. I never did when we were married, and I certainly don't now." She immediately found herself backpedaling when realized how she sounded. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for, really…I shouldn't have said that."

Unfazed, Joe continued, "You know, if I moved home, we could…you know, see where things go."

"See where things go?" she echoed; certain she hadn't heard him right. "You mean—with us?"

"Well, yeah, with us. You have to admit, don't you, Amanda, it's been nice this week: us as a family unit, don't you think? The boys are lapping it up."

Lapping it up, sure, she thought. They were boys and didn't know any better. Instead of voicing her objections, she responded neutrally, "The boys will always love spending time with you, however much time you can give them. They've missed you."

"Have you?"

"Honestly?" She gauged her words. "I've been too busy with life to miss you, Joe. I've been running a household. That takes a lot of my attention. Some days I'm lucky if I've gotten dinner on the table before dark—and all the bills paid. Mother is a lot of help, but she's not ultimately responsible like I am."

He straightened then moved around the island to lean against the counter beside her, his shoulder brushing against hers. In a low tone, he murmured, "I want to help ease the burden of life, Amanda. I want to get to know you again, and make a family again."

She had to fight the stab of irritation that flared through her. A little too late to do the right thing now. "Oh, Joe. I didn't mean it to sound like a burden. I don't need that kind of help from you. I just need you to be a father to your sons."

He nudged her with his elbow. "The best father I can be is by being with all of you. Can't you just give me a chance?"

Lee's face flashed in front of her, and Amanda found herself moving away from the counter. To buy herself some time, she busied herself by straightening the placemats on the kitchen table and arranging the candlesticks that sat in the middle of it.

"Amanda?"

Joe's exasperated tone made her turn abruptly to face him. Wringing her hands, she carefully replied, "Sweetheart, I just don't know. It's been more than four years since we even tried to work things out. Haven't we both moved on? I mean, I know that you must date and see other women; I certainly haven't been waiting around for you to return home. What you're asking feels like it's coming from out of nowhere." Hating herself, but not being able to help it, she deflected and said, "I…I just need some time to think about it."

He nodded slowly. "Let me ask this: is there anyone else? Your mother made it sound—"

She waved that away with a flick of her hand. "My mother was just teasing."

"Really?"

His hopeful tone made her stop and consider what she was implying. "Well. There isn't anyone special – I told you that already. But—I suppose, I mean, yes, there is…someone. Sort of. Or. Well, really, it's really just the thought of him. Nothing's happened. Not really."

"Should I be jealous?"

She didn't answer him, because, really, what a stupid question. Instead she moved back to the sink, where he'd mercifully moved away from and began to load the few dishes left there into the dishwasher.

After a few minutes of only clattering china, Joe said, "I respect that you want to think about it, Amanda. But I'm not going to ride off into the sunset this time. Some things are worth fighting for."


A/N: Thank you for your continued interest in this story. Happy Holidays!