Squall Leonhart could be his own saboteur but also his own cause for inadvertently shoving his own feelings to the forefront. Taking a risk, a chance.

There was an explosion of personality of a woman that came into his life when they bumped into each other on the day of his Fire Cavern exam. He shrugged it off as a mere case of déjà vu. The feeling never faded, and it only came to fruition when a certain Galbadian sharpshooter mentioned being at the same Orphanage as all of them. That included her, the brutally honest young woman that had a penchant for explosions and enjoying trips on the transcontinental railway.

Quietly, Squall found that he enjoyed the quiet and realistic moments with Selphie, the woman in question. Staying the night in Trabia with Selphie and Zell after the former finally witnessed what her original Garden had been reduced to. A trying time for her emotionally and for all of them coming to terms with the fact they all knew each other upon a time ago. Emotions were entangled and thought processes alternating… it was an experience to say the least. Squall admired Selphie's steadfast and grounded nature to swoop in to check in with everyone, but he worried… was anyone checking up on Selphie? The fact she could just smile through everything and keep her emotions so resigned, that was a strength Squall wished he possessed. Yet he thought further about it and wondered, if Selphie could be strong in these times, who was being strong for her?

Squall found solace in the quiet teamwork that the Trabian students had. The team's ray of sunshine appeared next to him in the night, curious about what was keeping him awake. He was aware that it was well past 22:00 hours at this point. Plenty of confusing and tumultuous thoughts were on his mind and he worried that sharing them would burden her or anyone. But…

Since she asked, he thought, might as well share.

He disclosed his irritation with almost of them pushing their opinions about how he should feel about a certain other brunette resistance leader of the Timber Owls. He realized that Selphie didn't suffer too much of his ire since she was one to make the fewest comments regarding Rinoa. Then the timid lion shared that he wished everyone would stop trying to project onto him how he felt or how he should feel. He did not even realize what the term meant until he found himself listening in on a conversation about how a cadet felt that way earlier that evening.

Not intentionally eavesdropping but his resistance in asking for information, including help just didn't sit right with him yet. The more he processed that material, the more frustrated he found he got and he would just shut down in an attempt to try and think about it now. He can worry about managing it later. It was bad enough that he was having a hard time articulating how he felt emotionally about everything, but the constant peer pressure from everyone was bothering him.

Squall expressed how he felt silenced before he could even get the words out, stunted before he could understand why. He felt what Seifer had felt when no one paid any attention to his hard work and always praised Squall when he could care less, resentment. Not to the deep-seated levels of Almasy, but a budding form.

The young man clad in leather belted this out to his auburn haired companion, someone that was willing to listen to him and not cover his mouth about how he wants to express himself. It was comforting to say the least.

From that moment onward, he found that he could unapologetically be himself around Selphie. After sharing all of that, she smiled at him and simply said, "Don't worry about it, this conversation and your feelings are safe with me." And she meant it.

That conversation stayed with him through everything, even when Squall made that promise to Rinoa about their meeting in the meadow of Matron's old orphanage. Zell and herself approached him to congratulate them about their budding new relationship, however Selphie's eyes, always alight and smiling at him, seem clouded. Confused even.

After Zell left to prepare the party for heading into Lunatic Pandora, this allowed for both brunettes to be alone together. They both could appreciate the comfortable silence and the coastal breeze near the flowers. He admitted to the cheerful young woman that he wasn't too sure about his feelings regarding Rinoa, however, he wanted to try to be something to her, whatever it was she needed him to be. Selphie furrowed her brows at the phrasing, before asking, "That's pretty noble Squall, but what about what you want?"

Perplexed, he wasn't comprehending what Selphie meant. Wasn't what he said detailing what he wanted? Wasn't that enough?

Selphie please don't do this, don't confuse me right now, he silently tried to reason with her with the steel blue-grey eyes of his, but hers wouldn't meet his. She was too adamant about keeping hers to the ground, inspecting her Garden issued combat boots one at a time.

"What do you mean about what I want? I…" He brought the hand to the back of his neck and sighed, rubbing it. Hesitation wasn't a good look for him, it reminded him of the uncertainty that there was to life. That there was weight to the words he said and if he even believed in them.

"I thought that was what I said." The Commander managed to reveal to her. Equally perplexed but still trying to understand the meaning of his own words.

After what felt like an entirety, but only a moment in time, Selphie's eyes looked to his before stepping forward, "You said you wanted to be there for Rinoa, whatever she needed of you. But what about yourself?" His brows furrowed and he found himself lost, again. Selphie had a habit of prodding the deeper elements of his mind that he never thought he would have to bring to the forefront.

When he sensed that he couldn't find a reasoning behind that, he found himself silent. Contemplative and allowing the wind to rustling through his hair. Carrying his gaze back to the meadow, he allowed himself a moment to absorb the colors of the flowers, the scenery and the mark of his lonely childhood.

"I thought being needed was something I wanted... isn't that what other people want? To be needed?" He quietly mused to himself, unsure if he even believed his own words. Turning, he realized his companion quietly left him with his thoughts.

That interaction remained with him for months. After crash landing into Lunatic Pandora, after reaching Ultimecia's Castle, even during Time Compression to return back to their time and world… Even when Rinoa was prodding him to go on an actual date instead of enjoying quiet nights in.

Was it possible to genuinely fathom a concept of being wanted and not being needed? What did that even feel like? Rinoa was easy to understand when she vocalized honestly about what she wanted, but was he that cumbersome? How hard was it to truly say what he wanted? Out of life, out of a relationship, and most importantly, out of himself?

A year or so had passed when his relationship with Rinoa had finally drawing to a close, amicable, yet inevitable. Well, he did not find it inevitable, but others with their hushed whispers and rumors circulating around their relationship found it inevitable. Did not make him feel any better about the crashing reality of what he thought he wanted versus what he claimed he needed to feel.

Approximately a month had passed, and Valentine's Day came around, he tried to consider it as another day, but the loneliness settled in. Squall quietly mused over Selphie's words from years prior in the harsh silence of his dorm room. It wasn't until the woman that challenged his thoughts and emotional needs knocked on his door. Asking if he wanted to spend the day with his friends instead of mulling over his misery. How could he say no to that?

However, how could he say no to someone that had an all-around feel-good aura around them, bringing both realms of fantasy and reality into perspective for him. A grounding force for him when he didn't realize he needed to be tethered to said ground. Her positivity was also contagious, but he was shy about sharing that. Squall enjoyed the day with his friends well into the evening, they went to Fisherman's Horizon and enjoyed the cuisine from there. Ellone even visited him and the group, saying that what he needed was some time to spend with his Big Sis. As well as an ass kicking in Triple Triad.

Sorry Sis, you're going to be sorely disappointed that I don't lose easily. He remembered saying to her before they both shuffled their respective decks, smugly. They may have not been related by birth, but they certainly got their mannerisms from each other. Maybe from a certain goofy President of Esthar, but Squall wasn't going to worry about.

The evening brought on a pleasant surprise, Selphie confessing that she had always liked Squall. The fact she didn't bother trying to pursue him during their time working together and getting to know one another as friends made Squall wish that she would have. Admitting to him that he was as dense as they come and while Squall pulled a face, he couldn't help but chuckle a little at the comment (later).

The gaze he gave Selphie after she had walked away before he called out to her, asking what it would take for him to pursue her. Coyly, like the ever-elusive woman she was said: "If you're up for the chase, you know I'm interested and if you're not, you know I'll still be your friend."

That did not answer his question and she recognized it with a smile before turning around in the direction of the restaurant. Squall was someone that did enjoy figuring situations out on his own, even if it meant navigating the uncharted territories of romantic feelings for a close friend.

So, Squall chased.