"Detective Chuckles! You brought wine, didn't you?"

Sergeant Platt pushed him into the house, slamming the door behind him. She glanced quickly towards the living room before dragging him to the kitchen, where he put the two bottles of wine in the refrigerator.

Jay looked at her sideways but his suspicions grew noticing how Platt closed the kitchen door and then slowly turned to arrange the table.

"Okay Sarge, what's going on?"

"Hailey coming?", she asked, diverting his question.

"Sure. She had had to finish some things at home but she'll arrive soon with Kim. Sarge, what's going on?"

Jay stared at her with crossed arms leaning against the kitchen counter.

Trudy pursed her lips in a fine line before breathing deeply, "Okay, you know we're here for Voight's birthday."

She left the sentence on hold until he nodded, then continued.

"And being Voight's birthday, one particular person showed up at the district today…"

"Uh, don't tell me who she is who I think she is."

His voice came out almost choked. He had to expect it, sooner or later he knew it would happen.

"I'm sorry, I thought someone should have told you before…"

"Jay."

The voice reached his ears with an almost incredible sharpness. He would always recognize her, everywhere.

"Okay, Sarge. No problem."

He smiled at her tightly before turning to greet the woman who, so many years ago, had left him without saying a word.

"Erin. How long it's been. How are you?"

He expected to feel something tighten in his chest, but when his eyes rested on the brunette woman Jay simply felt nothing.

Too much time had passed and he was now so different from what he was when was with Erin.

What he didn't expect was for Erin to reach out to him and hold her arms around his neck. Without being able to control himself, something inside him snapped and, feeling his shoulders stiffen, he took a few steps away from her.

"I didn't expect to see you here, Erin."

"And I didn't expect you to talk to me again."

The half-laugh that followed her words irritated him more than he would admit. Of course he didn't want to talk to her, but she was there and he was a polite man.

"Not that there is much to talk about, actually. You came for Voight, let's not pretend."

He crossed his arms over the chest keeping a reasonable distance from her. Thinking back on how things had gone between them, he almost laughed. He was so destroyed, so annihilated, that he didn't understand that the fact she had left everything behind was the best thing that could have happened to him.

Erin sighed, putting her hands in her pockets.

A shadow of the old temperament made its way onto her face and he almost laughed. She was really holding back so as not to provoke him and in any case, even unconsciously, she managed to get under his skin in a few minutes.

For a moment, he saw a flash of Hailey beside him explaining how, many years earlier, she had worked with her a few months and, in any case, she had never been able to keep up. They had always been too different, and Jay couldn't help but confirm her idea.

"Listen, Jay, after all these years I…I know it doesn't make sense but…I'm sorry, okay? What happened, what…"

"No. No, don't do that."

Jay took a step back, feeling almost slapped. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. The contrite expression on Erin's face almost drove him crazy.

"Now you're here, in front of me, telling me you're sorry. For what exactly, Erin?"

"I…I should have talked to you but…I wouldn't have been able to leave. And I had no choice but to leave."

"So, help me out here…you left me, you left without saying anything, you never made yourself heard and now, after I don't even know how many years, you are here for what?"

"I was hoping we could figure this out…", she let the phrase slip into the air and they fell into an almost deafening silence.

Jay clasped his hands against his jeans and closed his eyes for a second. If he wanted to get to the end of the evening with a semblance of sanity, he would have to calm down and stay focused.

"You were hoping badly, Erin. There's nothing to clarify. It was all very clear from the start. I don't really understand what you want from me now."

"I…I don't know", he saw her running her hands through her hair nervously, before looking up at him again, "I think…I could still be in love with you. And…I don't know, I wanted to see you, talk to you…"

"No Erin, no. Hold on a second."

He reached out to her, grasping her gently by the shoulders. All the agitation flowed through his veins until a second before had vanished into thin air. He had hoped for so long that she would return from New York exactly with those words in her mouth, but it had been a long time ago.

He sighed before smiling gently at her, "You can't be in love with me. You don't know me anymore, I'm another person, Erin. It's been a long time, let things stay in the past."

She nodded slowly and Jay could see the moment when his words sank into her brain. He knew he was right and hoped she understood it too.

"I really loved you, you know? I did many things wrong but I really loved you."

"We were young and with many problems, we had something but it was not love. I want you to understand there was a time when I thought I loved you, but not anymore. It wasn't love, Erin, it was addiction, leisure. And that's okay, it was what it was supposed to be. You get that?"

A single tear slid down her cheek and Jay stroked the wet line and dried it. Erin nodded again, slower than before and without looking away from him.

"You went on, didn't you?"

"Yeah", he breathed deeply, "I went on and I want you to do it too. I really want the best for you."

"I…I just wanted to kiss you one last time."

Her voice was low, if the door hadn't been half-closed he probably wouldn't have been able to hear it. It was strange to hear Erin pleading, Jay didn't really think she ever heard her pleading with anyone.

He stroked her cheek smiling, "Erin, no. Go on, please."

And it was then that Erin seemed to really focus on him, "You are in love with someone else. Oh my God, I…I didn't knew, I…"

Her was not a question, it was a simple statement. And from the panic that slipped on her face, Jay realized she really knew nothing about him and everything that had happened in those years.

"All right. Erin, it's all right", he squeezed her shoulder and was about to embrace her when a series of shaky steps approached the kitchen.

"Daddy!"

The high-pitched voice he loved most in the world was followed by a hand slamming on the door and after a second a small freckled face popped from the crack.

"Daddy!"

"Hey buddy", Jay leaned over and picked up the boy who had just crashed into his legs, "How are you?"

"Hi Daddy!"

He had learned a few words and surely, to Jay's extreme delight, 'daddy' was his favorite.

"Give me a kiss", he stupidly stretched his face towards him rubbing his nose on his plump cheek. The boy broke into a crystalline laugh and Jay could have sworn to feel his heart fill with so much love that it was unnatural.

"Mommy's coming", he muttered, still giggling holding on to the collar of his shirt.

Jay returned to the present, in Platt's kitchen, feeling a slight movement to his right. And in an instant, he remembered perfectly why he was standing there in silence.

"Danny, say hi to Erin, she's an old friend of mine."

The boy studied her silently for a few seconds, his blue eyes reduced to two slits and then, unconvinced, he waved a hand in her direction before focusing again on the collar.

"So you have a kid now, huh?"

Erin seemed to regain the use of the word and the sentence came out as if it had cost her a titanic effort.

Jay nodded looking down at his boy clinging to him. The messy brown curls gave him a strange wild look he knew his mother loved.

"Jay? Big, big news!", Hailey's voice made Erin jump and when she came out the door the expression on her face told him that she had no idea who was there.

"Erin, what a pleasure."

She reached out to shake her hand before briefly assessing the situation. Then, slowly, she crossed the room to leave the tray she was carrying on the kitchen table. Approaching them, she glanced briefly at Jay, "You good?"

And only when he nodded, "I'm good," did her shoulders release the tension that he had seen arise when she saw Erin.

"Do you want to come to Hank's with me?", Hailey reached out to the boy flattening some curls on his forehead.

"No, stay with daddy!

"Yeah yeah, daddy daddy…", she snorted before leaving.

"Mommy! Kiss!"

Daniel reached out and grabbed a strand of blond hair before dipping his face against her neck. And Hailey's laughter, accompanied immediately by that of his son, warmed Jay's heart for the second time in a few minutes.

Hailey slipped out of the room in silence and, turning his gaze on Erin still silent, Jay saw her staring at the boy who had still clung to his shoulders.

"You and Hailey…uh, I never would have said that."

"Yeah, neither do we. Not immediately at least", he chuckled at the thought of all the past years together.

"If it weren't for the eyes…he's really the same as you."

"The suspicion is all Hailey's though. And the huge amount of sleep, too", he added after a moment as he heard Danny yawn against his neck.

"Are you really in love?"

"More than is humanly possible. What I am now, is thanks to Hailey. Without her, I'm not sure I would still be alive. And sometimes I wonder if I really deserve this life, but then I see him…"

"Daddy... I'm sleepy…" he whimpered, tightening his arms around his neck.

"Let's go for a walk, huh buddy? Let's just talk a little bit, just the two of us, yeah?"

He gave Erin a quick apologetic smile before walking past her and exiting the back door. Despite it being summer, that evening there was a light wind had brought some relief to the suffocating heat of the previous days.

Jay walked into the courtyard of the Platt muttering under his breath how his day had gone to work. He knew well Danny was already asleep - he certainly didn't need an invented story to make him sleep. As for sleep, he definitely hadn't inherited from him.

Danny, just like Hailey, could fall asleep anywhere and in a few moments. Gift that, in all sincerity, he envied them much more often than he wanted to admit.

Walking in a circle, he could feel Erin's eyes all the time against his back. But that didn't really bother him. What was important was in his arms at the time.

Erin had been important a long time ago, too long ago. And perhaps, in a way, she would always have been important to him. But now he had Danny, and Hailey.

And he would never give up on them.

"Hey Halstead!", Hank's hoarse voice made him jump, "Give me the kid and go inside with the others. It's my birthday and I want to keep him a bit, come on."

Jay slid Danny into Voight's arms and he, still asleep, pressed his face against his shirt.

Totally his mother in the sleep, Jay chuckled shaking his head.

He had just crossed the threshold to return to the living room with the rest of his friends, when Hailey's blonde hair caught his attention. She was waiting for him leaning against the door jamb of the living room and, as soon as she saw him, she approached him with a slight smile on her lips.

"Hey babe, you solve it?"

He knew well that she was not referring to the sleeping child, but to Erin. And Jay had the sudden desire to kiss that smile still printed on her face.

"I love you so much", he breathed against her soft lips, "So much."

Hailey responded to his kiss by sliding a light caress on his cheek and then, crossing her arms behind his back, hid her face in his neck.

The same movement Danny had made a few minutes earlier.

"You are my world."

It was so light it seemed like a breath of wind, but the slight movement of her lips against the skin of his neck did not go unnoticed.

Jay wrapped his arms around her, his face was immersed in her hair and the only thing he managed to do was breathe her scent with his eyes closed.

"So what's the big news you wanted to tell me about?"

Hailey moved slightly against him before humming contentedly against his neck.

"Tomorrow night your son will stay at your brother's."

"Oh my God, yes! One night all for us? Really?"

"Pizza and bed?"

"I like how you think. But it's okay without pizza, just you, me and the bed."

He pinched her butt slightly and Hailey's laughter echoed inside his chest.

'What I am now is thanks to Hailey. Without her, I'm not sure I would still be alive.'


Hi guys!

Maybe some of you have already read this fic, but I had already posted it as a one-shot in my 'Let me write your story' collection.

Only later did I realize that I would have so many things to tell about Danny and I decided to write an independent fic.