Title: Meeting in a Rose Garden

Summary: Mac reconnects with someone she knew in law school. (West Wing Crossover) (Mac/Other, Mac/Harm friendship)

Notes: This maybe the last update of this (and my other ongoing stories) until January. Long story short, I still have 20 books to read this year to complete my 2020 reading list; and I need to spend every spare moment I have reading books that count instead of reading & writing fanfiction. So. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, and I hope 2021 is so much better than 2020 has been.

Part Sixteen

Mac sat down in front of a computer and entered her credentials. Something tightened in her chest when saw Sam's name repeated over and over in her inbox.

God, she missed him. She clicked on email after email and read each one. Some were light, some were funny, some were heartfelt. He told her about his trip to Russia and how the sauna cured moose meat Josh had given to Donna had ended up on eBay. He told her about the play in New York and about the death of a secret service agent who had been assigned to protect CJ. He told her about their new neighbors, and the fight that had broken out in the grocery store they shopped at between two cashiers who had both been sleeping with a guy in the bakery department. And in every email, he told her that he loved her.

She opened the most recent email to begin a reply, and frowned at the pop-up that flashed on the screen. All out-going email has been temporarily disabled. She swallowed back her fear and stood. She quickly signed off the computer and headed out of the legal room. She literally ran into Bud in the corridor, and placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I was sent to find you."

She waved off the apology. "It's fine, Bud. What's going on?"

"I'll tell you on the way."

He talked as they made their way to the bridge; telling her everything he knew so she would be as prepared as possible on the bridge. They arrived at the same time as Harm and Petty Officer Coates, who gave a quick salute and hurried away.

Mac stood by Harm's side, and swallowed as he was given his orders.

Goddamnit. Over the past few days, they had already escaped land mines and explosions. And now, almost a year to the day of his crash in the Atlantic, he was going back up in a plane. She tried to push back the fear and the memories, and she did a passable job. At least she did to everyone but him. He looked at her, and the look on his face told her that he knew what was going on in her head right now. She knew he would touch her, provide some sort of comfort if he could, but they were in a room full of officers, and his arms stayed folded over his chest. For a moment she longed to be back in the desert, where she was able to hug him, and tell him things she had always been too afraid to say. Instead, she stood there, waiting in silence for the Captain's dismissal, and then followed Harm as he left the bridge. They walked in silence for a few minutes, until they came to an empty corridor.

They were quiet for a long moment, and finally she reached out and squeezed his forearm. "Please fly safe."

He smiled and briefly placed his hand over hers. He pointed to a small porthole a few feet away. "It's a beautiful day, Mac. Not a cloud in sight."

She nodded and looked in the direction he was pointing. It was a beautiful day. She turned back to him and cocked her head to the side as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "What?"

He blushed and swallowed. "Were you able to get a message to Sam before we were summoned?"

"No. Were you able to get one to Julia?"

He shook his head. "If something does happen… will you make sure she knows?"

Her eyes filled at request. Not that he was requesting that she tell his girlfriend about his final days; she was happy he had someone he seemed to really care about. More about the thought of having to fulfill that request. She couldn't imagine this world without him in it. She blinked back her tears and nodded.


Mac watched the planes safely land and let out a breath she had been holding for what felt like an eternity.

It was over.

They were all okay.

The Seahawk was okay, the Watertown was okay. Harm and Bud and Sturgis and herself were all okay. It was almost miraculous that they had all made it through this ordeal relatively unscathed. She knew that Harm and the others would be occupied for a while, and decided to head back to the legal office now that outside communications had been re-established. She had just settled into the uncomfortable chair and logged in, when her eyes fell on the phone. She needed to talk to him. To hear his voice. Even if it was only for a minute. She logged off of the computer and hurried to one of the recreational areas. There were a few guys playing cards, and one watching a movie, but the room was otherwise empty. She went to the phone and placed a collect call.

She clutched the phone tighter as she heard his voice accepting the charges, and relaxed when he said her name.

"God, it's good to hear your voice."

He laughed, and it was a good sound. It was low and genuine, and it warmed her. "That's my line."

She grinned and held the phone closer. "You can still say it."

"It's so damned good to hear your voice."

They were both quiet for a moment. She felt overwhelmed in this moment. Overwhelmed with how much she loved this man. Overwhelmed with gratitude that she and Harm and the other were still here. Overwhelmed with exhaustion and soreness, and an urge to be home that she had never felt before.

"Sarah? Are you there?"

"I'm here. I'm just…" She sighed and twisted the cord around one of her fingers. "I miss you."

His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "I miss you too."

She fell quiet again. There was so much she wanted to tell him, and ask him. But she knew this wasn't the time or the place. He was at work, and she lacked the privacy to have the conversation she wanted to have. "I should probably go."

"Do you have to?"

"I don't have to. But if I stay on the phone, I'm going to want to tell you everything that's been happening, and I really can't do that in a public place."

He went quiet this time. "I know, Sarah. Leo and Admiral Fitzwallace told me before it happened, and told me when it was resolved."

She exhaled sharply, relieved that he knew and upset at the same time. She was thankful she wouldn't have to repeat the specifics, but hated that he had known and had spent that time worrying about her. "I'm sorry."

He let out a breath. "Sweetheart, what do you have to be sorry about?"

She felt her throat thicken, and forced back the tears for what felt like the millionth time that day. "I'm sure you were worried. I'm sorry I put you through that."

"Stop. Please don't apologize for that. If anything, I'm sorry for how I acted that night before you left." He was quiet again, and she was about to speak when he cleared his throat. "I'm so sorry I behaved so poorly. This whole time you've been gone, I've been thinking of all of the terrible things that could happen to you, and how if something did happen, I didn't want that to have been our last night together."

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too."

She smiled and exhaled slowly. "I really should get off of here."

"I know. When will you be home?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but probably in the next day or two."

"Stay safe, okay?"

"I'll try." She smiled. "Bye, Sam." She waited for him to say goodbye, and then replaced the receiver.


Her gratitude that they were all okay had been premature. Bud was hurt, and her emotions were once again all over the place. She felt guilty – it had only been a few days ago that she and Harm had been caught in a minefield. Only they had escaped with scratches and bruises, while Bud had lost his leg. She felt angry. She was angry that Bud was out there to begin with. Angry that he had taken this position to promote faster and bring home a bigger paycheck for his family, while Harriet bought a house behind his back. But the emotion she felt the strongest was sadness. And not just for Bud, and little AJ, and Harriet. But for Harm. He sat beside her, their heads together and cried.

Se had known this man for almost six years, and she could count on one hand the number of times she had seen him cry. She wondered if he was thinking of his own father right now; and how close their godson had come to growing up without his. She knew that if Bud had died, he would have stepped in and tried to be the father figure that Tom Boone had been to him, and that he had tried to be to Josh Pendry.

She lost track of how long they sat together, lost in their own small world of sadness and grief. Finally, he pulled away from her and rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm going to get some air."

"Want some company?"

He shook his head. "No. I won't be long."

"Okay." She stood as well. "I'm going to go find Coates and tell her the news about Bud." The young petty officer wasn't in either of the dining halls, so Mac tried the legal room. And there she was, staring at the photo of Harriet and AJ that was pinned on the bulletin board. She sat down in one of the extra chairs, avoiding the chair she imagined was Bud's. "He made it through surgery."

Jen turned to look at her. She briefly nodded and then turned back to the picture. "He really loves them, you know?"

Mac recognized the photo and smiled. "I know. He's a wonderful dad. And husband." She watched as Jen's cheeks pinkened, but didn't say anything.

Finally, Jen turned to look at her. "Is it that obvious? My crush?"

Mac shook her head. "Only to someone who has been in the same place."

She swallowed. "What place is that?"

"The 'having a crush on someone inappropriate' place." She felt her own cheeks redden at the memory of her near kiss with Admiral Chegwidden all those years ago. "I'm sure it happens to all of us at one point or another. Or in my case, many, many times."

She had hoped Jen would smile, but she only nodded. "I wouldn't have acted on it. I know he loves his family. But-" She trailed off for a moment. "I don't know what I'm trying to say."

But Mac knew. She reached out and touched her arm. "Come wait with me. I'm sure they'll let us in to see him soon." She stood, and extended her hand to Coates. She took it and allowed herself to be pulled up.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Anytime, Jen."


"Want to grab a drink? Toby and I are going to that jazz bar in Georgetown."

Sam shook his head. "No. Sarah's coming home tonight."

Josh's eyes widened and he stepped further into the office. "Really? Wow. How long has she been gone now?"

He shook his head. "Feels like a lifetime. But it's actually only been about ten days." After Bud's accident, she and Harm had both stayed behind until he was completely out of the woods. There had been one post-operative scare, but that had been three days ago, and now she and Harm were both on their way home. He glanced at the scrap of paper on his desk with her itinerary. "They took a helicopter to Afghanistan, and then flew to Germany, and now they're on their way to Andrews." He pocketed the slip of paper and stood. "And I'm going to meet her there."

Josh smiled and put a hand on the doorframe. "I'm glad she's okay."

"Me too." Sam watched him leave and checked his watch. Two hours. Two more hours. The last week or so had actually been harder than the first part of her trip. They hadn't been able to talk during the first part of the trip, due to the lack of internet access. But the second half of the trip they hadn't been able to talk much because she hadn't wanted to. She had called twice, but both times she had just been more or less checking in. When he had asked about Bud, or if there was anything he could do for Harriet and AJ, she had shut down. She had ended both calls abruptly, and he was left in the uncomfortable position of pitying himself when she had been through something horrible.

He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to be there for her. But he wasn't there. He didn't understand what she was going through the way Harm did.

Harm.

He hated himself for being envious of him and their relationship again. He really thought he had gotten past that. But now he tortured himself with thoughts of her needing comfort, and him being right there. He couldn't help but think about the kind of comfort Harm could provide if she needed someone.

And the only thing worse than hating himself for these thoughts, was his inability to hate Harm. How could he hate this man who had saved her life, and the lives of thousands of others? He couldn't. He admired his courage and bravery. He admired his loyalty to his friend, and his willingness to break the rules to be by his side.

He looked at his watch again, and decided he couldn't stay in this office anymore. He signed off of his computer, grabbed his briefcase, and headed out. He ignored the looks he received – it was shocking to see a senior staffer leaving at 6:00. But for once he didn't care. This one time, he was putting his relationship ahead of his career.

He went to their apartment and changed from the suit to a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt, and then headed back out. The solo ride to Andrews was strange. He didn't think he had ever been to the base without a Presidential motorcade, and felt odd handing his government credentials to the guard at the gate. He had worried his White House ID wouldn't be enough to get him onto the Air Force base, so that afternoon Leo had made a call, and he was quickly waved through. He found a parking lot close to the flight line, and turned the ignition off. He glanced at his watch again and sighed. He still had thirty minutes.


"Give me that." Harm tugged Mac's bag from her, and put it over his other shoulder. The past few days had worn on her, and she was exhausted. She hadn't been eating, he imagined she hadn't been sleeping, and she had barely spoken to anyone. He and Jen had both tried, with neither having any luck.

"Mac. Walk." He gently nudged her lower back, and she jumped.

"Sorry." She made her way down the steps of the plane, and stepped out of the way so Harm could fall into step beside her. "I can take my bag."

He shook his head. "It's fine. I've got it." He scanned the parking lot, making sure his car was still here. He sighed with relief when he saw it, and then spotted a semi-familiar figure standing by a dark gray SUV. It was Sam. He could see the moment Sam picked them out of the crowd of people getting off of the plane and he began to walk to them.

Harm glanced at Mac, but she was still staring straight ahead, still in whatever daze she had been in for the past few days. He nudged her and pointed to Sam. Her physical response to seeing him was extraordinary. She stopped in her tracks, and she began to cry. Really cry. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself and then walked quickly to him. Harm could tell she wanted to run, but was trying to control herself. He watched as they finally reached one another and she immediately collapsed against him. He stood there for a long minute and watched them. The moment was intimate, despite the number of people milling around, and he felt voyeuristic, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Sam held her close, and then at arms-length while he kissed her lips and her forehead, and then pulled her close again.

He realized he still had her bag and began walking to them. He wondered if Mac remembered she was in uniform, or if she just didn't care. Not that it really mattered at this point. After all they had been through, who would reprimand either of them for kissing someone while in uniform?

He got close to them, and Sam lifted his head from Mac's shoulder. The men locked eyes for a moment, and he swallowed when Sam mouthed 'thank you'. He didn't know this man well; nor did he want to. But he knew the gratitude was genuine, and simply nodded.

He dropped Mac's bag at their feet. She looked up at him in surprise, and then shook her head as if to clear the fog away. "Thank you, Harm."

He smiled and nodded. "I guess you don't need a ride home."

Mac smiled for the first time in days. "I'm good."

He nodded again, and began to walk away. He had only managed a few steps when he stopped and looked over his shoulder; half expecting her to be staring after him. He thought of the glances they had shared while he had been embracing Renee, and her Mic and of how their eyes had always locked over their significant others' shoulders. But she wasn't. Her head was buried in the crook of Sam's neck and her arms were wrapped around him. He let out a breath and continued the walk to his car. She had never truly been his, and now for the first time he was absolutely certain she never would be.

End Part 16