A/N this fic is very angsty. it'll end happy, I promise. but you have been warned.

~This empty end was never something of your choosing

You could have won but you were much too busy losing~

Holly's flight docked at the Toronto Pearson International Airport gate at exactly 23:37. She grabbed her bag and her carry on and followed the rest of the passengers off of the plane. Holly trudged her way to baggage claim to meet her friends and collect her luggage. Most of her belongings were being shipped from San Fransisco this week, so all she had brought with her were enough clothes to get through the week and several of her favorite books. Turning the corner, she saw her friends Lisa and Rachel waiting for her at the baggage claim. Immediately, she picked up her pace and when she was within a reasonable distance, she dropped her belongings and jogged the rest of the way, enveloping her two friends in a tight hug.

"You are not allowed to leave. Ever again," Rachel said, squeezing Holly back.

Holly released her friends and walked back to retrieve her abandoned belongings, and the three of them sauntered over to the baggage claim area to wait for Holly's other bag.

"I still don't know why you came back. I would have stayed in San Francisco," Lisa said as she pulled her jacket tighter around herself. "It's too goddamn cold here."

"It was great, but this is home. I missed you guys too much," Holly replied just as she spotted her bag. Shouldering her way through bystanders, she hoisted her bag off the conveyer belt and hauled it back towards the other two women.

As the three friends began the walk to the car, Holly continued, "Don't get me wrong, I loved every moment of my job and the opportunity it provided. But San Franciscans are weird and I missed the cold."

"Well that's great and all, but two years is just way too long. We need a good old fashioned girls' night," Rachel said.

"Yes!" Lisa exclaimed. "Ooo, there's a new club I've been dying to check out!"

"We can absolutely have a girls' night, but not tonight," Holly said. Rachel pouted while Lisa began to whine something about how Holly 'doesn't really love us'.

"I'm tired," Holly continued, "I just spent the last five hours on a plane. I'm jet-lagged. I'm going home, and I'm going right to bed."

Rachel helped Holly load her luggage in the trunk before climbing into the driver's seat. Holly joined her in the front passenger seat, while Lisa flopped into the back seat, still sulking and mumbling 'Holly the buzzkill' under her breath.

The 20 minute car ride was spent mostly in silence. Holly was trying too hard to keep her eyes open to deal with Lisa's broodiness, and Rachel was content to let them be. Rachel pulled into the driveway of Holly's townhouse and popped the trunk. She helped Holly bring her bags into the foyer. Setting her suitcase down, Holly sleepily turned to her friend.

"Get some rest, girl," Rachel said, smiling at Holly, who was too exhausted to stand straight. "We'll figure out a time to get together."

"Thank you for picking me up," Holly mumbled, stumbling forward to pull her friend into a brief hug.

"Any time. We're glad you're back." With that, Rachel turned and left, closing the door softly behind her.

Holly threw the lock and dragged herself upstairs to her bedroom, not even bothering with her bags. She fell on top of her bed fully clothed, asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.


A week after Holly's return, Lisa had finally gotten her wish: the three friends were on their way to a new club. Holly couldn't remember the name of it at the moment, and she wasn't overly thrilled about going out. She had wanted to stay home and read in a hot a bath, but Lisa had called her a recluse and reminded her that she had abandoned them for two whole years. So Holly had conceded and gotten dressed up. As the three of them approached the club, she remembered the other reason she wasn't thrilled: the club was obnoxiously named Lush, which was obviously meant to convey that this was an upper class establishment. In Holly's opinion, it was quite ironic. And judging by the group of scantily clad sorority girls in front of them, she knew exactly the kind of people who frequented this establishment, so it was no surprise Lisa had dragged them here.

Holly handed the bouncer her ID as he eyed her simple button up shirt and jeans with thinly veiled disapproval. She yanked her ID back and mumbled an insincere 'thanks' as he waved her through the door. Following Lisa and Rachel to the bar, she took in the crowd of people swarming it and grimaced. She'd have a hard time getting a drink tonight, what with all the bartenders drooling over the half-dressed women.

Rachel and Holly shared a look of misery. Lisa, completely oblivious, waved enthusiastically at a man by the bar and rushed over to greet him. Holly and Rachel remained where they stood, taking in their surroundings. The club had an upper level, with tables and balconies where patrons could look down on the dance floor. The main level had chairs and tables lining the walls, but most of the floor was devoted to the dance floor and DJ booth, where an overly passionate man moved rhythmically back and forth between spin tables.

Minutes later, Lisa and the man from the bar were walking back towards them, several drinks in hand. Lisa handed Rachel and Holly each a mixed drink.

"Guys, this is Ryan. He and I did our residency together," Lisa introduced the man next to her.

Ryan smiled at the two of them as Holly took in his appearance. He was dressed in a sleek black suit, his dark hair was slicked back and beard short and precisely trimmed. Of course he was a plastic surgeon.

"My friends have a table over against the wall, if you ladies would like to sit down?" Ryan suggested, gesturing to the wall across the room.

"Sure," Rachel said cheerfully.

Holly shot her friend a look of betrayal. Rachel laughed and bumped Holly with her hip.

"Come on, indulge your inner sorority girl," she said as she and Holly trailed after Lisa and Ryan.


About an hour and a half later, Holly was working on her 6th drink. To say she was a little buzzed was an understatement. Ryan's friends kept buying her and Rachel drinks, and she was not about to turn down the free alcohol. Rachel was sitting in the corner, being flirted with by one of Ryan's friends. She thought he had said his name was Mike? It was thoroughly entertaining: Mike was trying very hard to get Rachel to dance with him, and Rachel was very politely shutting him down at every turn.

While Holly was distracted, one of the other men at the table made his way over to her.

"Can I get you another drink?" he asked as he set his own drink on the table, situating himself directly in front of her.

Holly looked up at him and shook her head no.

"Thank you, though," she said.

"You sure?" He said with a toothy smile, shifting forward a little. He was wearing a grey-blue shirt with a solid black tie and black slacks. His long blonde hair was tied back in a pretentious man-bun and his beard was short and neat. "I'm Chad."

"Holly," she replied.

"So Holly, what do you do?"

"I'm a forensic pathologist," Holly answered and took a sip of her drink.

"So you're like a doctor? Very hot," Chad drawled, running his eyes over Holly's body and reaching for his own drink.

Holly choked on her Caesar, but Chad didn't seem to notice.

"Uh, sure," Holly giggled, "if you're a necrophiliac."

A confused look crossed Chad's face.

Holly laughed harder. "Never mind."

Chad shrugged off the comment and smiled at her once again.

"So, do you wanna dance or maybe get out of here?" Chad asked as he took a step closer, looking over-eager.

"Look, Chad, you seem really…" Holly struggled to find the right word, "uh, nice. But I—"

Holly's sentence was cut short as something flashed in the corner of her eye. Holly turned to see what it was that had distracted her. As the object came into focus, Holly froze. Her breath hitched and she dropped her drink.

"Shit!" Chad yelled. "My shoes! What the fuck is your problem?"

Rachel was there in a flash, shoving Chad away from Holly. She had turned at Chad's outburst and immediately saw who Holly was looking at.

Gail Peck was standing by the bar, drink in hand. Next to her was Traci Nash and Gail's brother, Steve. Her hair was longer than Holly remembered, down past her shoulders. Her hair had soft curls and was pulled back behind her ear on one side. She was wearing dark jeans and a fitted, red henley.

The three of them began moving towards the tables. Towards Holly. Rachel saw the exact moment that Gail registered Holly's presence. Gail paused, turned to Traci and Steve, who had happened upon an empty table, and spoke to them before making her way towards Holly.

Holly had finally remembered how to breathe. Abruptly standing from the chair, she took a couple steps towards Gail.

"Holly, hey," Gail said quietly. Holly could barely hear her above the roar of the music.

Holly gulped. "Hi."

"Hey," Gail repeated.

"You said that already." Holly said, smiling.

"You know, it sounded familiar," Gail quipped. She took another step towards Holly and continued, "How is San Fransisco?"

"It's good. Too hot for my tastes. I actually just moved back to Toronto."

Gail's eyes widened briefly before her stoicism returned. She nodded once.

"How have you been, Gail?" Holly asked.

"Good, I've been good," Gail answered. She was about to say something else but was interrupted by the approach of another woman, who put her arm around Gail's waist.

"Hey babe," the woman chirped, flashing Gail with a dazzling smile.

Gail looked at her and then back at Holly. Sadness flashed briefly across her features but was quickly replaced with a hard look.

"Holly, this is my fiancée, Sarah. Sarah, this is my old friend, Holly." Gail's voice was soft but flat as she introduced the two.

Holly felt her heart plummet. Nausea roiled in her stomach and her mouth went dry. Blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay, she extended her hand to the other woman. At that very moment, Rachel swooped in and grabbed Holly's arm.

"Gail, hi! Lovely to see you. I'm so sorry, but I need to steal Holly away, it's an emergency," Rachel said pleasantly, taking Holly by the shoulder and physically turning her back towards Ryan's group.

Holly turned to glance back at Gail, lifting a hand in a feeble goodbye. Gail nodded at Holly in return and led Sarah back towards Traci and Steve.

Holly stood like a stone while Rachel went about gathering their belongings and bundling Holly into her coat. It was then that Chad and Mike walked over.

"You guys are just gonna leave? The night has only just begun!" Mike exclaimed.

Chad grabbed Holly's hand. "Come on, stay."

Rachel moved between them.

"We're leaving," Rachel said flatly.

"You don't speak for her," Chad said, puffing out his chest.

"She's gay, you nimrod," Rachel sneered. With that she turned Holly toward the entrance and they walked out into the night.


Gail took a long drink as she watched Rachel yank Holly out of the club. Traci watched her watch Holly.

"You ok, Gail?" Traci asked a little too knowingly.

Gail swallowed hard and nodded once.

"So how do you know her?" Sarah asked innocently. The silence her question provoked was more than a little tense.

Gail cleared her throat. "Uh, we used to work together. Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"She worked at the morgue," Traci clarified.

"Oh, gotcha. She's cute," Sarah said nonchalantly and took a drink.

Traci and Steve both looked at Gail, whose cheeks were flushed bright red. For once Gail was thankful clubs were so dark.


Having managed to get Holly out of her clothes and into her pajamas, Rachel helped her friend into bed. Holly just let her, silent and unmoving, unless pushed.

"Did you know?" She asked at last, voice cracking.

"Did I know Gail was engaged?" Rachel clarified, tucking her in. Holly nodded. "No, I didn't."

Rachel sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm so sorry, hun. I didn't even think about running into her. But also, it's been two years, I thought you said you were over her?"

"I thought I was," Holly whispered, twisting the sheets between her fingers.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Rachel asked, resting a tender hand on her friend's shoulder.

Holly nodded.

"Ok," Rachel said. She kissed Holly's forehead and went about changing into some of Holly's spare pajamas. She shut off the light, crawled into bed, and held Holly as she cried herself to sleep.