A/N: Behold, a comedy friendship fic that is simple and true to the spirit of AzuDai.

I don't own Azumanga Daioh; just because.


*Glutton*

It was lunchtime in Class 2-3, and Tomo was smirking at Yomi's lunch. Her goal in life is to torment her best friend, and now it's the perfect chance.

"Say Yomi," Tomo said, "You're such a glutton."

Yomi's tolerance of Tomo's antics have reached zero and grabs Tomo's neck. "Call me a 'glutton' one more time and I'll inflict ten thousand years of pain on you."

"Y'know, a glutton's an animal."

Yomi and Tomo turn their head around to see Osaka, who said those words.

"What?" the two said, as anything that came out of Osaka's mouth always get that kind of reaction.

"Miss Osaka is right," Chiyo added, "They're also called skunk bears, carcajou, quickhatch, and most commonly: wolverines"

Chiyo then grabs a piece of chalk and draws a drawing of a wolverine on the blackboard and continues her talk about wolverines.

"They are the largest land-dwelling mustelids in the world, and despite their small size, they are ferocious and they can take down prey five times their size."

"Heh, just like our wildcat idiot," Yomi snarked.

"You're saying that I'm a wolverine?" Tomo responded to Yomi's remark, "Cool!"

"But if Tomo's the wolverine," Osaka said, "Then who's her prey?"

Yomi, Chiyo, and Osaka turn their heads towards Sakaki and Kagura, Tomo's rivals in sports, and then turn their head to each other and nodded in agreement.

"Say Chiyosuke, if I'm a wolverine, then where are my metal claws that come out of my knuckles? Tomo asked Chiyo-chan.

"Um, Tomo-chan, wolverines don't have metal retractable claws," Chiyo replied, "their claws are made of the same material as your fingernails and are semi-retractable."

"Then I'll dress up as a wolverine for Halloween!" Tomo proclaimed, "I'll wear a gakuran, wear fake wolverine ears and tail, and tekko-kagi that can retract. It's going to be awesome!"

"That costume is going to be tacky," Yomi said.

"YOU SAID WHAT?!" Tomo retorted.

And so, the typical Tomo-Yomi fight resumes, but unbeknown to Chiyo and Osaka, Sakaki's mind is full of images of Tomo as an actual wolverine, as even the most fierce animal in the world is still adorable in her eyes.


Ta-da! You're at the end of the one-shot! What started as Tomo's lastest fat insult has devolved into Tomo discussing her Halloween costume. But that's the magic of Azumanga Daioh for you!