p class="MsoNormal"Part 2:/p
p class="MsoNormal"Baz/p
p class="MsoNormal"As they're prepping me for surgery because according to x-rays, my ankle is very, very broken, I start to get a bit nervous- I've never been in the hospital before much less surgery and I'm afraid. I was hoping they'd wait until Simon or my aunt Fiona could get to the hospital so I could see a familiar face before I go in but they rush me into surgery and all I can think of isem style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;" Simon Snow. I love you./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Simon/p
p class="MsoNormal"By the time we're at the hospital, I'm trying to not cry and I'm so worried about Baz that I feel like I want to just smash something or crash into something to make myself feel better. All the nurses will tell us is that he's in surgery since we're not family and even though I point out that he's my boyfriend, they keep telling us to wait for a family member. I'm sitting in my chair practically vibrating out of it and driving Penny crazy with rhetorical questions about what if Baz is seriously hurt or even dead- and no one tells me because I'm not family? Time keeps stretching out and I'm wondering what's taking so long. Finally, a nurse comes out and apologizes that due to some difficulty, there may need to be a second surgery and that she'll tell me about that as soon as a family member arrives. Shortly after that Fiona arrives and even though I'm not fond of her (and the feeling is mutual), she receives an update on how Baz is doing. Apparently, a second surgery may be needed but they want him to recover from this one first, so they're waiting for him to wake up and then place him a room./p
p class="MsoNormal"I run to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face and calm down a bit. I can't let Baz see me so upset. Penny and Fiona had told me that they're going ahead to grab something to eat and meet me at Baz's room after that. The nurse has to repeat the room number to me twice when I get out of the bathroom because I feel like my heart's about to jump out of my chest. "133" I repeat "133" "133" "123" as I'm carefully walking the hall on the fifth floor looking for his room number. I enter room 123 and realize that no one's outside the room and that I must have gotten here first. I open the door slowly, making my voice jollier then I feel, calling out "Baz, I'm here." I walk around the curtains and my heart stops. The sheet is covering Baz's face and the body is too still and I've seen enough Coronation Street to know that he's dead. My breath comes out all at once like I've been punched and I fall to my knees and begin crying hysterically. I'm full of tears and shaking so hard that I feel like I can't breathe or even catch my breath right now. I just keep thinking, em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Does he know that I loved him? Why didn't I tell him more or kiss him more?" /emI want to grab that blanket and rip it off and look at him once more but am too afraid of what I'll find underneath it./p
p class="MsoNormal"I feel like I want to blackout and vomit I'm so upset. I don't know what to say or do to help myself feel better or to stop my heart from breaking. I scoot closer to the wall, crying and waiting for Penny and Fiona to join me./p
p class="MsoNormal"Baz/p
p class="MsoNormal"I wake up and I can tell that something is off right away. My ankle really hurts but that's not what troubles me- it's the faces on my Aunt Fiona and Penny that worries me. "What's wrong, I ask? Where's Simon?" Fiona smooths my hair down and asks me how I'm feeling while Penny pulls out her phone and tries to make a call on it. I look from Fiona to Penny, "Where's Snow?" "Is he lost in the hospital or something?" Penny and Fiona exchange an amused but worried look and I realize that I'm correct. "Who lost Snow? I ask frustrated, "When's the last time anyone saw him? Has anyone tried to call him?" Penny answers, "His cell phone is off, he probably forgot to charge it last night. We saw him earlier before he went to the bathroom and he seemed anxious but okay."span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanem style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I'm so angry that I'm working myself up to a proper strop now. My ankle is broken and hurt, I've just woken from surgery, and Simon Snow is missing in the hospital with no working cell phone. I'm apoplectic I'm so furious./em em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Where is Simon Snow?/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Simon/p
p class="MsoNormal"I sit here next to Baz's bed crying my heart out and feel so mad at myself that I wasn't able to express my feelings to him better. I just wish I could have kissed or even held him one more time knowing what I know now. I keep waiting for Penny or Fiona to show up but I feel so numb- so out of my own body and exhausted that I'm just going through the motions of existing. I need to find Penny right now; I've got to get out of here. I decide to take the lift down to the first floor in case they're waiting there for me instead. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"Baz/p
p class="MsoNormal"I'm trying to figure out if I can get out of bed and get to my crutches before either Fiona or the nurses catch me when Penny tells me to wait. She's going to cast a spell to find Simon in the hospital. She holds my hands and we cast a finder spell to locate him which produces a bubble that shows us Simon crying and heading towards a lift. Penny notes which floor he pushes and takes off to go find him. Fiona is shaking her head and asking how I'm feeling. "Hungry, tired, and worried about Snow" I answer almost growling./p
p class="MsoNormal"Simon/p
p class="MsoNormal"I'm off the lift and looking for Penny when I hear her voice coming from the lift I just go off of and she's calling my name happily. I'm weeping and walking towards her and she looks at me in total surprise like she has no idea that I know Baz is dead. I'm crying so hard that I have trouble catching my breath and even though she's talking to me- I can't focus on her or anything she's saying. She takes my elbow and guides me down the hall and towards Baz's room. We stop before I think we should (em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Wasn't the room further down the hallway?/em) and opens a hospital room door. Fiona peeks out from around the curtains and gives me a strange look and I'm about to start crying again until I hear a familiar voice say, "Simon, you absolute nightmare. Where have you been?" in Baz's aggravated voice. I walk around the curtain and see my love, Baz, sitting in bed with his leg in traction and I have to stop myself from throwing myself at him. His face softens when he sees my face and tears and he holds his hand out to me. I take his hand and gently kiss his face, so grateful that I can kiss him and love him. I'm so overcome with emotion that I keep swallowing a lump in my throat and I can't stop crying. It's a little while before I can explain that I went to room 123 instead of this room and found the dead body and start grieving. Baz holds me closer letting me cry until I can't anymore. "I love you, Simon Snow" he tells me and I answer, "I love you too, Baz"./p