Hello all! I'm back with a new multichapter. It was prompted by Luisa asking some questions and was only going to be a one-shot but I soon realised it would be a multi! It is pre-canon and there is angst, so if that's not your sort of thing then here is your warning. The first four (or so) chapters span across quite a bit of time and establish where Donna and Harvey are before life throws things off course. Donna is with Thomas for the time being so again, if you aren't interested in that kind of pre-canon angst then this might not be for you!

But for those who do read it, I so hope you enjoy it! I'm working really hard on it and I'm really quite proud of the things I've written so far. A massive thank you to Luisa (twt: hellcsweetie/ff: hellcsweetie) for bouncing ideas around with me and helping to beta, along with Jo (twt: jobiefreeman/ff: pegtastic) and Aimee (twt: aimeevalle1/ff: aimeevalle1) for being great betas too!

Please let me know what you think!


The Waiting Game

Chapter 1

"To Thomas Kessler Furniture." Donna grinned as she raised her glass and Thomas raised his too, colliding in the air between them in celebration of a very successful day. The deal with Pierpont Malls had secured Thomas' business with a promising expansion and he was delighted, as was Donna.

She'd nearly faltered, worried that Harvey wouldn't be able to fix it and found herself nearly revealing Simon Lowe's scheme to her boyfriend. The idea that he'd lose both deals when she had the power to stop it had been plaguing her non-stop. All she could think about was him losing everything and her watching from the sidelines while the guilt exploded within.

But it didn't happen. She trusted Harvey and she was right to because everything worked out in the end.

So that evening, she found herself at dinner with Thomas where they toasted to his new venture.

"I can't believe my luck," he chuckled after sipping on his glass of wine.

"Well, you better start," Donna said with a smile, still awash with relief at how things had worked out.

"I mean it," Thomas said and his hand found hers on the table. "It's not just this deal, it's the person I'm out here celebrating with tonight. I've never been happier."

The declaration made Donna's heart flutter inside her chest. She felt like a teenager as her cheeks began to blush against her will and she bit her bottom lip. She hadn't felt this way in a long time and she had been starting to wonder whether she'd ever get another chance. Then Thomas appeared, and the more time she spent with him, the more she began to feel like her luck was changing. If only she could grab hold of it with both hands this time around.

.

Harvey could only sigh that evening. The cool night's breeze against his skin was sobering and refreshing, a call back down to earth when he found his mind wandering into territories that he'd forbade himself from entering.

The taste of whiskey was giving him mixed feelings and as he knocked back the remains of his glass, he was hit with the reminder of her lips on his.

It was a dangerous drink. His favourite, yes. His loyal companion through the good and the bad but sometimes, it reminded him of her too much. The late nights spent working on cases, the times she'd been there when no one else would—or no one else could—or when he'd let his demeanour slip and she would see him at his most vulnerable.

They'd shared so many memories that were threaded together by his beloved Macallan and it made forgetting her so much harder than he'd hoped. Even standing there on his balcony, looking across the Manhattan skyline, he was flooded with images of her in his apartment.

When he'd bought the apartment, she was with him. She'd been to the viewing and swung the balcony door open in excitement. She'd skipped out into the crisp, winter's air and looked around before a coy smile grew on her face.

"You have to get it," she'd told him. "Trust me, Harvey."

And he did, he always had. Just like he'd trusted she'd wait until he was ready, which seemed selfish in hindsight but she was her and they were them. Harvey just expected that when he knew he could give her his all, the version of him she deserved, that she'd be right there.

This current scenario hadn't once crossed his mind.

She was happy with Thomas. She really liked him, and he couldn't help but wonder where they were or what they were doing. Was he making her laugh, and if so, did he notice the crinkles by her eyes and count them just like Harvey did? Were they talking about their future and what it could bring for them? Was Donna at any point reminded of him?

The ache he felt in his chest was real and it consumed him. She'd dated people before and his not-so-ready self had never felt at such a loss.

Maybe this time, Donna was slipping away for good. Just as he thought he might finally be ready, he was too goddamn late.

He walked back inside where he poured himself another drink, the cap already off the bottle because he knew he wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. But something else caught his eye, shrouded in the darkness of his living room and sitting alone.

The cactus.

Their cactus. The one she'd given to him on a whim and he'd become quickly attached to. He'd been forgetting about it recently; stressed about the firm and Louis, and lonely without Mike around. His relationship with Donna had been different lately… Not necessarily in a bad way but there was something there that hadn't been around before. Perhaps it was tension, growing from a place he wasn't sure of, but he suspected it was borne from the situation with Paula. Unspoken feelings and hurtful words had been thrown around during that time of their lives and he wasn't sure Donna had gotten over it. Hell, he wasn't sure he had, either.

He approached the plant, looking at it upon the coffee table and noticing that it had started to die on one side; dry, crispy leaves and needles that didn't resemble the happiness he'd associated it with.

He placed down his tumbler, reached over to his lamp and flicked the switch. He remembered a conversation with Donna in the office the morning that she'd given it to him. She told him how even though parts of the plant might die, in its core it would survive. You just have to trim away at the dead parts to enable it to thrive again.

After grabbing scissors from his kitchen drawer, Harvey began to cut away at the dead portions of his—no, their—cactus. A big part of him wished it was that easy to fix the pain that plagued his heart that night.

He knocked back his drink after he finished tending to the plant, calling it a night because the memories flooding his mind were too much to bear.

His head was sore the next day. He'd drunk too much and slept too little and as he dragged himself into the office, he was definitely feeling the effects of a hangover. Harvey found himself growing easily distracted as he tried to analyse a deal for a client, reaching for his coffee a little too often.

"Hey," he heard and he snapped his head up eagerly, wanting to see the face that matched the voice.

She was wearing a collared, navy dress that hugged her waist before it flowed down her legs and, god, she looked beautiful.

"Hey." He smiled up at her and put his pen down.

"I wanted to thank you for what you did for Thomas," she said. "He's so excited."

'I did it for you,' Harvey couldn't help but think. The smile on her face and the lightness in her voice was evidence that his work was a success and he was at least glad he could provide that for her. It may not have been the way he would really like to make her happy but it was better than nothing at all.

"It was nothing," he said and she gave him those big eyes that told him it was a lot more than that.

He debated telling her that he did it for her but stopped himself when he realised the ramifications of such words. A declaration like that would bring up questions and feelings and questions about feelings that he didn't think it fair to inflict. He wanted her to be happy and he was beginning to think that maybe he'd have to accept that Thomas was the one who would make her feel that way.

"Thomas is really grateful… and so am I," she told Harvey before she wet her lips. There was a moment's silence, neither knowing what to say as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"Well, I should go," she said and Harvey nodded.

"It's a busy life, being COO," he said with a smile and she agreed with a chuckle as she left, skirt swishing with the sway of her hips as he watched her stride down the hall and away from him.

Those kinds of encounters became more regular, and slowly but surely, they began to replace the carefree conversations that the pair used to have. It was natural and happened before either of them could seem to stop it, widening the chasm between them as Donna moved on with her life and Harvey continued to feel like she'd left him behind.

When Donna and Thomas' three-month anniversary came around, she found herself headed for Harvey's office.

The distance between them wasn't something she'd welcomed, at least not intentionally. She'd been distracted from Harvey, focussed on her new relationship and suddenly she hadn't seen him for weeks. Not properly, anyway.

She slowed as she neared his office, not seeing him sat at his desk and it was when she got closer that she saw him on the couch with a drink in his hand.

"Donna," he said as she entered, surprised to see her.

"Harvey," she smiled. "Thought I'd check in, it's been a while," she continued. Her coat was hung over her arm and she was holding her bag, and it was clear to Harvey she'd finished her own work for the night. He considered taking a shot.

"It has," he said softly. "How about we order some of that shitty Thai you like and I pour you a drink?" he asked with a smirk but was met with a sigh.

"I'd love to, Harvey, but I'm going out for dinner with Thomas tonight," she replied and she wasn't convinced by the smile that came her way.

"Date night?"

"Our three-month anniversary," she admitted and watched him nod, brows raised slightly. She couldn't tell whether he was simply surprised or secretly upset; goddamn blind spot.

"It's going well, huh?"

"Yeah, it is…" she trailed off before she bit her lip.

"I'm happy for you," he said, and he did sound so. Donna wondered whether this time really was going to be different, but then her mind flicked back to Mark and she had to swat the thought away.

"Thanks Harvey. Maybe we can catch up over drinks another time," she suggested.

"Yeah, maybe…" He sipped on his drink, allowing it to soothe his discomfort and maintain his charade of confidence. "Have a nice night, Donna."

Harvey watched her leave before he downed the remains of his glass and slammed it against the coffee table. He picked up the casefile in front of him, eyes unable to decipher the words as his vision became hazy. His neck was hot and his collar felt too tight so his fingers fumbled against his tie as they worked to loosen it.

He took a deep breath, with a little struggle, and stood up. Only to regret it almost immediately when a wave of dizziness and nausea washed over him. It forced him back down to his seat and he pushed his hand through his hair as he continued trying to steady his breathing.

.

"You okay?" Thomas asked as he looked up from the dessert menu.

"Yeah, why?"

"You've just seemed distant," he said and watched as her eyes flicked to the side for a moment.

"I'm fine," she smiled but he didn't believe her and it was written all over his face.

"Come on, what's going on?"

She sighed and wet her lips, preparing for another relationship to begin to crack under the strain of her history with Harvey. It was something Donna had prepared for and she was somewhat surprised they'd gone this long without the topic of Harvey interrupting a date.

"I went to see Harvey before I left the firm today and he looked exhausted," she revealed.

"And you're worried about him?" Thomas assumed and she nodded.

"I am," she said as she folded her menu and placed it down. "He was smiling and his voice didn't give anything away… but he seemed so distant and I can't help but wonder if us drifting apart might be a part of the reason."

They were interrupted by the waiter when he turned up to take their dessert orders. Thomas asked for the cannoli and Donna ordered an affogato before they thanked the waiter and waited for a beat as he walked away.

"Do you think it could be about us?" Thomas asked, gesturing between the two of them.

"I don't know, Thomas, and it's Harvey so I might never know." Her answer was riddled with frustration, her voice slightly breathy as she spoke. She was exasperated, tired of the same bullshit every time she was in a relationship. She was tired of herself and the way she cared so much about a man she wasn't—and might never be—in a relationship with.

"Maybe it is, it wouldn't be the first time, but it's so complicated." She sighed after she said it, "I'm sorry."

"What have you got to be sorry about?" Thomas asked and he leant forward in his chair.

"The fact we're talking about Harvey when tonight is meant to be about us," she confessed.

"He's a big part of your life, Donna."

She took a deep breath but exhaled with a smile.

"He is. Thank you," she said and Thomas shot her a look of slight confusion. "For understanding. People haven't always been like you in the past."

"Maybe they weren't the right one for you."

"Are you saying you are?"

"Yeah, I might be," Thomas smirked. "I'd like to be."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, "because I seem to have fallen in love with you."

The confession took Donna's breath away and she felt her bottom lip drop. For someone with such refined intuition, she hadn't seen that coming.

"Too soon?" Thomas asked, wincing slightly as he squinted his eyes.

"No," Donna said quickly. "No, I just wasn't expecting you to say it," she said with a small smile and the words that fell out of her mouth next were far beyond her control.

"Maybe I've fallen in love with you too."

And she smiled with him but she didn't feel it, not yet. It wasn't real, not like his, but she was certain it wouldn't take long for her to feel the same. Not that she didn't love the way he made her laugh or the time they spent together, she absolutely did, but she wasn't quite sure whether she was in love with him.

She told herself not to worry and enjoyed the rest of their night, and when she woke up the next morning, she didn't even remember saying it.

It was a Saturday and not just any Saturday. Thomas and Donna would be spending their day at Louis and Sheila's baby shower. It was slightly unconventional, especially considering Louis was more excited about it than Sheila, and Donna had no doubt in her mind it would be an exorbitant affair but she was happy for her friend.

It would be a fun day, anyway. Mike and Rachel had flown over from Seattle the night before and she knew Rachel had been heavily involved in the planning. Donna had offered to help—after Louis had left some not-so-subtle hints—but her input had been limited, something she suspected was a result of Gretchen. Louis had come to her and told her he understood she was in a new relationship and the importance of the first few months, assuring her that as much as he would love her help, he would be perfectly fine without it. As a result, Donna hadn't been very involved.

It wasn't because she didn't want to be, she would've been more than happy to help, but she was so caught up in work and Thomas that she'd found herself distracted from Louis.

She also remembered Harvey would be there and she spent a considerable amount of time that morning pondering what it might be like. It would be the first time he'd spoken to Thomas in weeks, the last time being when the deal was finalised.

She wasn't worried as such, they'd be able to keep apart if needs be, but it did make her feel a little unsettled because she just couldn't predict how the day would go.

They arrived at the Kimberly Hotel perfectly on time, entered the lobby and headed straight to the elevator to take them to the rooftop bar Louis had hired out.

"Donna!" Rachel squealed as soon as she saw her friend, rushing over to hug her. It had been far too long since they'd last scene each other in person, both busy with work and new lives they were settling into.

"Hey, Rach," Donna smiled into the hug. "Thomas, this is Rachel. Rachel, Thomas," she said with a nervous grin after pulling away.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Thomas grinned.

"It's nice to finally meet you, too," Rachel smiled. She'd spoken to Donna a lot and asked many questions about her new man, so meeting him was something she'd been eagerly anticipating. "My husband Mike is at the bar, why don't we join him?" Rachel suggested, to which Donna and Thomas happily agreed.

Donna was more than relieved that Thomas got along well with Mike and Rachel, especially Mike. Not that there was any real reason they wouldn't, just that she was well aware that Mike had been rooting for her to get together with a certain somebody else. That certain somebody who was nowhere to be seen and Donna couldn't help but be annoyed about it. She'd had to remind Harvey of how much Louis valued him in the past but she thought he finally knew.

Harvey eventually turned up so late that he missed the majority of the party. He had a pounding headache when he walked out of the elevator and it was only made worse by the first thing he saw. Mike, Rachel and Donna huddled up with Thomas, laughing and smiling. He couldn't help but wish he was in Kessler's place and he debated going up to join them, except he didn't. He made a beeline for the bar, walking straight past them with the knowledge his friend would see him.

Which he did, Mike following him.

"Double Macallan, please," he said to the barman.

"Some things never change," Mike smirked, planting a hand on Harvey's shoulder, but he wasn't in the mood for happy greetings.

"No, they don't," he said back with a tight-lipped smile.

"Ouch," Mike joked. "I thought you'd be happier than this to see me after all this time."

"Headache," Harvey mumbled as he brought his drink to his lips.

"That all?" Mike probed and Harvey shot a glare his way.

"What else?" he asked, annoyed.

Mike's eyebrows rose, not wanting to say the words.

"It doesn't bother me."

"Really?" Mike asked.

Harvey sighed, "Really. Drop it."

"Fine," Mike said, raising his hands in surrender. A year ago, he would've quipped back but it had been so long since he had seen Harvey in person that he didn't want to spoil it. "Headache aside, how are you? We haven't talked for a few weeks," Mike asked, trying to move the topic of conversation along.

.

"You really got lucky with him," Rachel smirked when her and Donna were alone—Louis had demanded Thomas' attention.

"I did," Donna smiled before she sipped on her cocktail, Rachel watching her blush.

"He's almost too good to be true," her friend chuckled.

"Almost?" Donna asked with a cock of her brow, only to catch a glimpse of Harvey out of the corner of her eye. She felt her smile falter and watched Rachel peer over.

"I can't believe he was so late," Rachel scoffed, although part of her could.

"Yeah, well, he's not my problem anymore," Donna sighed. Seeing him at the party had been hard. He seemed sulky at first but loosened up after a couple of drinks and, although he'd avoided her like the plague, it was difficult for her.

She was with Thomas, Harvey really shouldn't be her problem, and she tried not to care but she did. She couldn't help it, no matter how happy she was with Thomas or how much she wanted to move on.

"Isn't he?" Rachel asked and she was met with a tilt of Donna's head. "Look, I want you to be happy, Donna. I just want to make sure that Thomas is what you want… Or more importantly, that Harvey isn't."

Donna sighed. She knew Rachel's words were well-intentioned but it struck a nerve.

"I know, and thank you," she said. "I really like Thomas."

"I'm glad," Rachel smiled.

.

"Thomas is great," Mike said to Rachel. The party had finished and, after helping to clear up, they'd headed back to their hotel room.

"He is."

"What?" Mike asked, catching the uncertainty in his wife's tone as she removed her earrings.

"He is, he's practically perfect but…" she paused and he knew what she wanted to say.

"He's not Harvey."

"He's not," Rachel said before letting out a sigh. "Maybe he's right for her."

"Yeah, maybe," Mike said, "but you're worried?"

"A little… Surely her feelings for Harvey didn't just go away?"

"Perhaps this is her way of putting herself first," Mike suggested. "I've always rooted for Donna and Harvey but if neither of them are able to actually confront how they feel, perhaps this is the only way forward."

Rachel sighed as she perched on the edge of the bed beside Mike, tired after an exciting day and worried about her friend. She trusted Donna to know her own mind, of course, but she knew how complicated her relationship with Harvey was. She knew how long those feelings had been bubbling away and the idea that he, in Donna's own words, wasn't her problem anymore came as a surprise.

"What about Harvey? How do you think he's taking it?"

"I think he was late for a reason," Mike replied. "He doesn't realise how easy he is to read sometimes."

"Opposite of Donna," Rachel scoffed.

"I don't know, she has her moments," he chuckled. "But maybe if she was a little easier to read then Harvey wouldn't be suffering."

"Suffering?"

"I'd say so," Mike said. "And I don't know what to say except hopefully it's not too late."