Hi lovelies,

In this fic (as the name states) Sheldon and Amy are not together. It's a slightly different Amy and Sheldon to what I have written before but hopefully it still captures the essence of them. I hope you all enjoy it. xx


It had been 48 days since Amy had made the decision to end her five year relationship with Sheldon. The decision wasn't one she had made lightly, it had been a thought that had been weighing heavy on her heart for the past few months causing her more sleepless nights and heartache than she ever thought possible.

Amy understood Sheldon better than anyone, she knew how to deal with his little quirks and aversions, she knew how he struggled with commitment and physical intimacy. For god sake, it had taken him three years to finally kiss her, really properly and passionately kiss her and four years since they finally consummated.

She really had given their relationship her all, no-one could argue with that, not even Sheldon. No matter how ridiculous and out there they were, she had tended to his every need and carefully followed every protocol outlined in their relationship agreement. At times she felt as if the love she craved from Sheldon was something that needed to be earned, she would watch their friends relationships happily play out and rightly or wrongly it left her wanting more.

Amy longed to be just like Penny who had cancelled many planned girls nights because Leonard had suddenly planned something incredibly romantic and spontaneous. She longed to be like Bernadette who would rush home giddy like a school girl for a night of passion with Howard. She just wanted love and affection in ways that he couldn't give her.

The news of the breakup hadn't really come as a surprise to their friends or to Sheldon for that matter. He had noticed them growing distant and neither one of them had the energy to try, he didn't really know how to try. The truth was no matter what happened they would always love each other, there would always be a space in their hearts for the other. They were each other's first and only loves, you never forget that or so they.

Amy had found the first couple of weeks after the break up incredibly hard. She had found herself having good days and bad days, the brain, as she knew better than anyone, had a way of generating thoughts about ex boyfriend that seemed to invade her mind without warning. She could be performing the simplest, mundane of tasks when suddenly he would take over her thinking, it could be anything from an image of him, to a conversation or a fond memory. Every time it happened she found herself taking a million steps back when it came to dealing with her heart break.

As time went on, the thoughts of Sheldon gradually began to fade. Of course, being part of the same friendship group meant that occasionally their paths would cross. They would brush past each other in the hallway, avoiding each other's gaze and muttering a simple hello, there were times when Sheldon would burst into Penny's apartment without any prior knowledge of Amy presences, they would lock eyes and Amy would feel her heart flicker but then Sheldon would fumble and stutter over his words as he apologised and left.

With the advice and help from Penny and Bernadette after the first month Amy had started to dip her toes back into the dating scene. She had dated before Sheldon, once a year to be precise but he had completely changed her attitude and approach to love, she had grown as a person and now understood how much joy and happiness being in a relationship could bring. Initially she was nervous, nervous about the prospect of meeting new men and closing the chapter on her relationship with Sheldon.

So far Amy had dated three men, the first one was a lawyer from Michigan who she had met online, he was tall, dark and incredibly handsome, they had zero in common and could not have been more opposite. The second guy was more of an improvement, he was an architect with a keen interest in history, they had been on two dates together, a walk in the park and coffee on her lunch break before things eventually fizzled out.

The third guy, Mark had been introduced to Amy by Bernadette. He was a microbiologist and knew Bernadette through work, she had insisted that he was the perfect guy for Amy. They got along, they really did, they had tons of things in common, sharing a passion for science meant conversation was never boring, not to them anyway. He made her laugh and the times that they did spend together he made her feel special but there was something that just didn't sit right with Amy. Maybe it was all too soon or maybe it just wasn't Sheldon.

She had ended things with Mark after their third date. Bernadette had made her nervous from the off by suggesting that date three means sex. She definitely wasn't ready for that, she hadn't been with anybody except Sheldon, moments with him that she treasured so dearly. Although, she knew that it was eventually inevitable, the thought of suddenly jumping into bed with a new man seemed so wrong. She didn't want to be with Sheldon, she was pretty sure of that but she also had come to realise that she wasn't ready to be with anyone else either.

Amy had just curled upon the sofa, it was earlier than usual but due to the day she had had it called for pyjamas at 6pm. Just as she was getting comfortable and cosy there was a sudden, unexpected knock at the door. She concluded from the simple knock that the person behind the door wasn't Sheldon, gone were the days when he would turn up at her apartment and make his presence known. She sighed to herself and made no attempt to move, hoping whoever was on the other side would just disappear, she just wanted to be alone tonight. Another knock told Amy that that wasn't going to happen.

Sluggishly, Amy walked across her apartment to answer the door, she didn't even care about her appearance. She was hoping that the way she loudly pulled the chain off the door told whoever was there that their presence wasn't welcome.

"Hi" Penny beamed brightly as Amy pulled open the door to see her best friend standing there holding up a bottle of wine.

"Penny, what are you doing here?" Amy asked, she was somewhat pleased to see her bestie but was it such an out there request that she call first to make sure she was at least up for visitors.

"Well, I wanted to hear all the details about last night with Mark you haven't replied to any of my texts" she sighed as she placed the bottle on the kitchen surface and pulled two wine glasses from Amy's cupboard, instantly making herself at home.

"Sorry, I..."

"And then when Leonard said you weren't at work today, I wondered what the hell was going on" Amy stood watching as her best friend rambled and poured them both a glass of red. When Penny suddenly threw herself down on Amy's sofa, it was an indication to Amy that her plans for the night were about to change. Maybe it was for the better, she wasn't entirely sure she could face what she was about do tonight anyway.

"I called things off with Mark" Amy explained as she too sat down on the sofa.

"You did? Why? I thought you really liked him" out of the guys Amy had dated Penny knew Mark was the one she had clicked with the most. The one that could potentially lead to something more.

"I don't know" Amy shrugged. "I guess I just didn't feel that spark" she wanted to be with someone that made her heart flutter whenever she saw them, have her stomach swarm with butterflies at the mention of their name. Maybe it was too cliche and only happened in the movies but that's the kind of love and romance Amy wanted. Mark wasn't that.

"You're still caught up on Sheldon, aren't you?" Penny asked taking a long slug of wine.

"No" Amy interjected far too quickly for someone that was trying to convince their friend, they weren't hung up on their ex. "I'm not. I don't want to be with Sheldon, I don't know what I want. My head is all over the place right now" Amy sighed sinking back into the sofa, a little worried she may have said too much but secretly hoping Penny didn't push the matter further.

"This is more than just dating isn't it?" Penny asked as she placed her wine glass down on the coffee table and moved closer to Amy, almost as if she was about to interrogate her.

"It's nothing. It's just...I'm okay" she was torn with whether to reveal all to Penny or not, it seemed wrong to tell anyone before Sheldon,

"I don't believe you Amy. You're such a useless liar, something is wrong, you haven't even touched your wine and... ahhh..." Penny gasped when the realisation dawned upon her, the fact Amy hadn't drunk was not a coincidence. In fact it was an action she was trying very hard not to give in to. "You're not are?" Penny asked her voice quiet as if they were surrounded by others. The rest of the group were often quick to dismiss Penny's intelligence but in situations like this she excelled them all.

"I don't know" Amy shook her head. "I haven't taken a test yet."

"Do you feel like you are?" Penny enquired. Amy was intelligent and would never blow things out of proportion.

"I have no idea what being pregnant feels like" Amy answered she had never been pregnant before how was she supposed to know what being pregnant was like. "But I'm achy, nauseous, emotional and late" she reeled off all her symptoms, using her fingers to count them, somehow saying it out loud suddenly made it seem all the more real.

"Oh my god. Amy"

"I know. The whole thing make me feel sick with nerves" she admitted, the prospect of being pregnant terrified her. It wasn't part of the plan, not yet anyway. Right now nothing in her life was heading in that direction, she wasn't even in a relationship.

"Take the test sweetie" Penny urged as she gently placed her hand on Amy's knee and gave it a squeeze. "You need to find out."


Thank you so much for reading lovelies. My current plan is to try and upload new chapters of this every Sunday.

As always comments, reviews and thoughts are always welcome! xx

10.08 - I had a guest review this chapter asking for other Shamy fic recommendations seen as I can't reply to guests I thought I would write it here for you all to see (as opposed to waiting until next week). Please take a look at my favourites, all of the fics and writers there are incredible and each one has inspired me in their own little way to keep writing. I hope you all find a little something you enjoy. xx