To Quantify the Unquantifiable

Disclaimer: Numb3rs and its trademarks and other properties are not my property. I do not make and do not intend to profit from this work in any way. This work is a fan creation using these characters in a creative work intended as entertainment only.

I do not give permission for anyone to take this work and post it elsewhere, unless explicitly given permission from me. If linked, shared or given permission to repost in any amount of words, credit must be correctly given to me as the author of this work and the rightful owners of Numb3rs as the source material.

Pairings: Charlie/Larry friendship.

Warnings: none.

Summary: Tag to S3:S21- The art of reckoning.

Larry tries to explain his experience in space to Charlie. Read author note below.

AN: Larry's experience in space made me realise that I have felt the same. It triggered some kind of dream like memory, the same one described by Larry is this fic. Larry found it difficult to explain but I will try. Its a concept without human words that really fit so be prepared to try understand with your feelings instead. Its a concept I aim to try understand further, so if you relate to the concept, the dream or just have thoughts, you can chat to me about it. I just can't help but feel its important to try find answers.

Tags: ADHD!Charlie. Autistic!Charlie. Neurodiverse!Charlie. Nuerodiverse!Larry. Autistic!Larry. Supportive!Larry. Actually Autistic Writer.

START

The pair were laying in the backyard, stargazing. Larry felt an immense sense of calm, though he could tell Charlie had his usual steady energy flowing through him, ready to overflow at any moment. His friend could barely lay still, even while staring with rapt fascination at the sky. He could almost see his friends mind working overtime; identifying constellations and following whatever path his thoughts took him. Following the breadcrumbs of whatever theory came to mind to its brilliant conclusion. He noticed how his best friend had completely zoned out, somehow hyper aware of the stars and yet so far away from the present moment of time that time had lost its meaning. He noticed how the young genius was gently swaying his leg, his foot tapping out some mystic rhythm that had taken on some strange importance.

It made him smile. Some things would never change. The stargazer beside him had not fundamentally changed since he had been a wide eyed young 14 year old. That gave him some comfort.

"What do you remember about being a child?" he asked calmly, startling his friend beside him.

Charlie stirred, confusion crossing his face. He wondered what Larry might be referring to. Still, his friend didn't waste words (even if he did tend to waffle on), so this must have an important point. So his focus naturally shifted to his friend, intently listening.

"We are told our world starts so small. Like our bodies as they grow in size or our brain as it becomes more capable. We taught that our environment grows from a house and a handful of related companions to increasingly complex environments with increasingly complex tasks to be completed and increasingly complex social groups." Larry spoke softly, the quiet night carrying his voice like paint on the artists brush. The poet writing his verse.

Charlie just stared at him intensely, easily tearing his eyes from the stars above and his mind from his theories. Larry felt honoured to be so important to his friend.

"Its part of our work, isn't it? Discovering more about our known world to increase it. Expanding our maps, as it were." Larry continued, still staring in wonder at the stars above him.

Charlie still hadn't spoken yet. It was a rare moment where the genius was completely still and completely absorbed in the conversation. Completely focused on one thing.

"What if I told you that we had it wrong? What if I told you the world of a child was larger than our universe and so much more complex than anything it offered?" Larry asked, now turning to his friend.

Charlie paused, taking in the words, before replying. "Human imagination and potential?" he asked, finding it difficult to find the words that properly explained it. He felt like he could almost grasp what his friend meant. Still it felt like smoke, and seemed to defy any label he had.

Larry smiled. "I knew you would understand." he answered.

Charlie smiled back. "I'm not sure I really do." he admitted.

"Its not something that has words, its something in your heart. Its a deeper truth that has always existed and will exist after we are all history. But you have part of the explanation: human potential. Human imagination. Let me show you what I see when I remember that time." Larry answered, closing his eyes. Perhaps it was just a reflex, but Charlie closed his eyes too, preparing to visualise what his friend saw. "A formless being, in a formless space. Limitless. Without constraint. Able to be anything. Able to be nothing. Able to exist. Able to not exist. Able to change. Able to progress. Able to go back to square one. Able to think. Able to be. Anything is possible. No assumptions can exist. The being exists as part of the space. And as the whole space. The space exists separate from the being. And as an extension of the being. All interconnected." he managed.

It took Charlie more than a few moments to process it. Even then it defied anything he could label. Anything that he could use as a reference. And yet he understood it. It felt...familiar. Yet also alien. "I think I understand why adjustment might take time." was all he could comment. It was all he had the human words for.

Larry smiled, "I knew you would understand."

They turned their attention to the stars again, this time with calmer minds.

"So I exist as a human shaped being with the constraints of my universe, in a society with rules and expectations in the roles that define my identity; but I also exist outside the known constraints of my universe and my societies rules and outside of my roles. As part of something greater and part of nothing at all. Significant and insignificant." Charlie translated, his mind finally catching up.

Larry nodded, of course he brilliant friend would understand the idea at least in part. "Thats partly it. We are all connected. We all exist in space that is transitioning...changing...adapting...bigger or smaller for a lack of a better phrase." he continued.

"I think I understand. Or might understand. Its hard to explain exactly." Charlie explained with a strangely peaceful tone.

"Thats because its not an entirely logical concept, you have to take a leap of faith. Its more like a dream than science." Larry replied easily.

"I agree with that" Charlie answered. "Though I feel like it might be worth exploring as a logical concept." he added.

"Its worth exploring. That much I do know" Larry answered, stargazing, asking himself if space held the answers he didn't. Or perhaps the answers would be found closer to home. In the relationships he held others, connections that they all held. Or perhaps philosophers or religion held an answer. He didn't even know where to start. How to define the entirely indefinable.

AN: Read and review. Like, follow, kudos etc...you all know the drill! This story is posted on Ffn. net and Archive of our own under the same username. Both are me.