New story alert!

Hello! As so many of you seemed to enjoy my last Fifty Shades fic I decided to post another one for you. I hope you all enjoy this one as much as the previous one, you might find that you even enjoy it just that little bit more, who knows? For those of you, who haven't read my other Fifty Shades fic, please do give it a read; it's called History Repeating.

I'm going to go for a little bit of a Dear Diary kind of thing on here. I feel like Ana is definitely someone who keeps a journal to keep things real. She is not really someone who deals well with confrontation and I feel like a journal would be a safe haven to her.

Disclaimer: Fifty Shades of Grey and its original characters do not belong to me


Poison Apple: Chapter 1: My Truth

Ana
Another day, another dollar... isn't that how the saying goes? When I first applied to be a 'Personal Receptionist' I honestly didn't really know what kind of job I was applying for but I needed one quickly. I was surprised to even get an interview, I was even more surprised when I got offered the job and it wasn't until I was offered the role that I found out exactly what I was going to be doing. I was going to be 'Personal Receptionist' the big boss himself, Christian Grey. I couldn't believe it but apparently he was impressed with my resume and impressed with what he heard from my interviewer.

Christian has his own PA, of course, but his PA couldn't do everything by herself so he needed someone to reply to e-mails from other departments, meet and greet people coming in for meetings, keep track of who was coming and going and of course answer the phones and book appointments for both Christian and his PA. It seemed like a lot of work, however once I got into the swing of things I was ok but my first week was a little difficult.

I remember my first day and how nervous I was and after seeing all of the women who worked for Christian I felt really out of place. I was the only brunette up here and all of the other women who worked up here were stunning, like model stunning and they were all so well kept and perfect looking. I was so intimidated that I just hid behind the desk and only spoke when someone asked me a question, I was so sure Christian would take one look at me, realise that I didn't belong and fire me. However, our first meeting went really well and we actually get along really well with one another.

The first time he called me into his office I was sure I had done something wrong but he praised me for my work and he wanted to get to know me, really get to know me, it was weird that he seemed so interested in me considering who he was and his job but I admired that about him too. Someone who wants to get to know his employees and do what they can to make life easier for them at work is someone you want to work for. He understood that I was a college student and would be working part time and he told me about all the connections he had to my college, it wasn't surprising he had an amazing internship programme and it was less surprising how well the internship programme works.

I have to admit that although I had seen pictures of Christian online, they really didn't do him justice. He was a very handsome man, it's clear that he works out and he has these eyes that just see into your soul. All the women who worked here fancied him and I couldn't blame them, who wouldn't want to date Seattle's most eligible bachelor? I had heard rumours about him possibly being gay, I don't know if that's true or not and I'm not going to ask him.

I just can't believe that I have been here nearly a year already. It has flown by and I have gained a lot of experience working here, I share my job with another young woman called Bethany. She works here full time and helped show me the ropes when I started. I have learnt about all of the different systems we have, how to juggle different tasks, how to problem solve and how to stay organised which are all skills I will need for when I finish college and begin my career.

As much as I love working here it is just going to be until I finish college. I want to work for a book publisher. I love books and I'm actually majoring in English Lit at college. I wanted to work at a publishing house whilst at college to give me that experience but none of the places I went to gave me the job, they all wanted someone with experience or someone who had graduated college and I have got another year and a half until then.

However, it wasn't all bad because it is actually how I met my boyfriend; Jack Hyde. He's an editor at Seattle Independent Publishing, he interviewed me for an assistant job but someone else got it that had more experience than I did. I didn't take it personally, its good business but three days after calling to tell me I hadn't got the job he called me again and this time he asked me out. I couldn't believe it but I agreed and he took me to dinner, we had a great time. He was a complete gentleman and opened doors for me, pulled my chair out for me and complimented me. It wasn't something I was used to but I learnt to like it. He brought me home after dinner, kissed my cheek and left with the promise to call me the next day and he did.

Jack and I have been together for just over a year now and we've been pretty speedy in our relationship. When Jack and I first met I was living with my best friend Kate but after she met Christian's little brother at the Christmas party the two of them started seeing one another and they moved in with one another after just 6 weeks of knowing each other. After Kate moved out Jack just kind of invited himself to move in, at first I didn't really notice the little things he left here; spare clothes, deodorant, a razor and a toothbrush but within 2 weeks of Kate moving out he had completely moved in and changed his address on everything. He never asked my opinion and after he moved in I didn't feel like I could tell him to move out.

We had only been together for four months when he moved in which I know was longer than Kate and Elliott knew one another but it was too soon for me. After that things just kind of snowballed and he's been talking about the possibility of us getting married once I've graduated and then having children. Jack is not keen on me going to work and making a real career because he wants a family and believes that the 'mom' should stay home and take care of the house and kids. I wasn't happy with that plan and he knows I'm not ready to have children and get married just yet, I've told him he needs to slow down but he doesn't know when to stop.

After finding out that Jack moved himself in, Kate was worried about me and things going too quickly. Jack was my first ever boyfriend, lame I know but she was worried that things were moving quicker then what I wanted. I told her I was fine and everything was great but she can see right through me and she made a point of saying to Jack that he should wait to be invited next time before he just moves his stuff in. Since then Kate and Jack haven't exactly got on and I know Kate trash talks Jack to Elliott and Elliott passes it on to Christian because he asks me about Jack and how things are going, he mentions little things that I know only came from Kate. I have told her before to not gossip to my boss about my personal life and told her to keep Elliott in check too but Kate never listens to anybody.

Kate and I have also become a bit distant and we don't talk as much as we used to be I feel like I need her now more than I've ever needed her. Things with Jack have taken a slight turn, he's changed and I don't understand why. He's always been protective and a little possessive but he's taking things up a notch and is commenting on my outfit choices, my hair, my makeup, how much I work and just making me feel a little shitty about myself. I know his work is stressful and he's constantly got his bosses breathing down his neck but he doesn't need to take it out on me.

Jack and I had a huge fight last night and he actually accused me of sleeping with Christian. I told him he was being stupid but he actually believes that I dress up and put 'lots' of makeup on to go to work to impress him. No matter what I told him he just kept going on and on about it, he told me he wanted me to quit my job and try to move to online classes... I couldn't believe it when I realised he was being serious. He actually wants me to stay in the apartment all day and not talk to people, who does he think I am, Rapunzel? He can't keep me locked in a tower for the rest of my life, he has to trust me.

Things with Jack are really not going well right now but I know talking to Kate about it will just make matters worse. Jack knows Kate doesn't like him and Kate knows that Jack doesn't like her so all it will do is cause the two of them to fight and then Elliott will step in to protect Kate (like a good boyfriend) and then do doubt Christian would hear about it and I don't need my boss to know how bad my relationship is right now.

Last night I wanted to tell Jack to pack his things and leave. However, I changed my mind because I know in Jack's mind that will just prove him right and he'll think I'm kicking him out so Christian can come over and we can continue our 'affair'.

I actually wanted to laugh in his face when he said that I was having an affair with Christian but I was in such shock I didn't do anything. Apparently, my silence said it all. I took a couple moments to process what he had said and listened as he kept telling me about this 'affair' and I just lost it. For the first time in my life I fought back, I shouted at him, told him he was stupid, told him he was an idiot and called him names like he called me names. It didn't make me feel good and I actually felt terrible but Jack didn't seem to feel that bad about it.

When I got up this morning Jack had already gone to work for the day. I tried calling and texting him but he was ignoring me, did he really think I would cheat on him? I didn't think he thought that low of me and it hurt me that he would think I would do something like that. Personally, I don't think he's having an affair or doing anything he shouldn't be, I trust him and I don't know what I've done to make him not trust me. When I'm at work I text him and call him on my lunch break and when I'm at college I text him so I don't know what's changed.

I really want to talk to him tonight when he gets home and I think I'm going to end it with him. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me and it's clear that we both want different things from our lives right now and we're in different places. I think Jack moving in was too soon and it might have contributed to our problems, we need some distance and some time apart to contemplate what it really is we both want from our lives. If it is a housewife he wants to take care of children and get married now then he will have to find someone else and move on because I'm just not ready for that. I want to have a career and make something of my life before I settle down into marriage and having a family, I'm not saying I don't ever want to have that family life but it's not something I want right now but I think I can safely say it won't go down well and Jack is just going to fight it and argue with me, he'll probably think I'm leaving him for Christian.

Maybe I should call Kate and tell her everything and maybe she'll come over with Elliott whilst I'm asking Jack to leave. I don't think Jack would ever hit me or anything but I do think he will get angry and possibly smash things up and kick things, I don't want that to happen, I just want him to pack his things and leave the apartment as soon as possible. On the other hand I complain about Kate getting involved with my relationship with Jack and now I'm asking her to get right in the middle of it, that's not fair to her or Jack. I can be strong on my own and get Jack to leave, can't I? If things do go really bad then I'll just call the police and they can take him away. I'm hoping it won't come to that but I know that if I need it, I have that option.

After tonight I can probably kiss my future career working in publishing goodbye! Jack will probably ensure I never get a job with any publishing house, he is a respected editor and he has friends in a lot of high places. All that needs to happen is for him to spread bad stuff about me and no one will give my resume a second look, this is going to ruin me.

I never should have started seeing Jack in the first place. In fact everything in my body was telling me to stay away from him; he was older, he seemed a bit more wild than I was used to, he was a smooth talker and I'm sure has many notches on his bedpost. He was the complete opposite of me and what sort of person I usually associate myself with, Kate even warned me about him before we had our first date. She didn't think he was someone I would have been interested in, at first I was more curious then interested but he was sweet and kind so I gave him a chance.

Biggest mistake of my life!


Ok, so there is no dialogue in this chapter... how weird of me, I don't think I have ever done this before. However, I am quite happy with this first chapter and I hope you all enjoyed it to.

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