Thank you for the reviews.

... Christ... I didn't realise how long it was since I updated this story. I suppose that Should've Been Me helped with that.

I said on Twitter that we are heading back in time and I think you can gather that by the title.

Shall we see how Jane and Sally's first pride went?


London Pride 1991

"I tell you what you should do next weekend," James said before he had a mouthful of Chinese.

"What do you mean?" Jane said.

"Pride London is next Saturday. Why don't you and Sally go?"

"No way," Sally said as she joined them, flopping down on the sofa next to Rachel.

"Why not? They all know, Sal."

"James, that is bad enough. You know how they have treated me since then."

Jane knew that Rachel running a hand down Sally's arm was to try and calm her down. It was something that Jane had heard of and it was something that she wanted to attend. The Manchester one had appealed to her but something had just stopped her from going when she was up there.

It may have also been because things weren't great between her and Ellie at the time. Maybe she knew that Ellie was only going to be a short-term thing. Jane looked over at Sally and wondered how long this one was going to last and how much more Sally could take of her.

Because it seemed like everyone gave up on her. She was sure that Rachel did when she left without her. Why wouldn't Sally give up on her as well?

"Sal, the only reason I am mentioning it is because I will be there to protect you this time," James said.

"And you are so close to being kicked out," Sally said.

"And I would rather be kicked out of the force for sticking up for what I believe in than watching my best friend and the best copper I know be bullied out of the force."

"Okay, okay." Rachel said. "It is just a thought. Something, maybe, to think about."

Jane shook her head and wondered whether she could have another chat with Rachel about becoming a teacher. It was clear that it was what she was born to do and she had finally come off the drink for the first time in three years and it was definitely doing her cousin the world of good. Although, Jane was wary about reintroducing alcohol into Rachel's life. Just because she didn't know where she was mentally. Just because on the outside she seemed like she was all good, didn't mean that she was. Jane knew that it was a family trait. Rachel could be close to collapse and Jane would be none the wiser.

"I mean, it is something I would like to partake in one day," Jane said. "But I know I am completely comfortable with my sexuality. Sal, if you are uncomfortable with it, then we can think about next year."

Jane took in the look on Sally's face and she now wished that she just said that they would think about it next year. Because now she was scared that she was going to push Sally into a decision that she didn't want to make.


Sally wished that she could enjoy the way that Jane was kissing down her body but her mind was still on the conversation that they'd had about going to Pride and she couldn't help but focus on what Jane had said about her wanting to go. She knew that Jane would argue that she wasn't, but Sally did think that she was holding her back slightly. Not only was Jane four years older than Sally, but she also had more experience in a lesbian relationship. This was all scarily new to Sally. But Sally didn't want to hold Jane back because they were at different levels of accepting their sexuality.

"Okay, what's up?" Jane said as she came back eye level with Sally, on all fours to hover over Sally.

"Nothing."

"No. It's not nothing. You've been like this for half the night after James mentioned about London Pride. What's wrong?"

"Am I holding you back?"

Sally knew that she couldn't have had a better first (and only) girlfriend than Jane. She was sure that most other girls would have probably laughed when she asked that question. But Jane didn't. Jane kissed her slowly, dropping down to her elbows and straddling her hips properly. Sally found herself tucking Jane's hair around her ears to stop it falling in her own face. She wanted to see Jane, thinking that she could tell now when her other half was going to lie to her.

"You'll never hold me back. It is me that will hold you back. London Pride isn't the be-all and end-all. I love you, Sally. And I get that I am the first girl that you have ever been with and I get that this is all new to you and I get that I am ahead because I've had the time to get comfortable with who I am. You are not holding me back. Because whether it happens this year, next year or in ten years time, I don't think I would want to experience it with anyone else but you.

"I get that you are having a horrible time at work because of it. I get that James wants you to be able to enjoy being who you are. But he doesn't understand that you have just got over your family's rejection and that it still hurts that they rejected you as they did. Mine still hurts me. We need to take it one step at a time and if Pride seems like a leap rather than a step for you, then that is fine. I am ready when you are."

It was Sally who kissed Jane after what she had said, keeping it at the slow pace that Jane had before. She knew that she had listened to every word that Jane had said. Which is why Sally knew what she had to say next.

"I love you too."

"No, no, no. You didn't have to say it back." Jane said.

"Maybe I want to."

"But everything that I've just said…"

"But maybe I wanted to say it back. Maybe I'm not holding you back but myself. I know where I want to be, Jane. I want to be with you. It was why I told my family that I was gay and why I was moving out even if they didn't throw me out. I… don't think I am going to meet anyone like you again. And maybe I should stop listening to my own insecurities."

"No, it is fine to be unsure. You are still working it all out, Sal."

"But I know I don't want to lose you, Jane. Whatever this world has in store, I want to battle it with you."

There was this hard exterior to Jane. Sally had thought it was because Jane had been hurt before, which she was right about, but Sally had just assumed that was Jane.

Until on a cold, wet mid-November night, where Sally had been in the right place at the right time and met/arrested the right person. Rachel had definitely brought out the softer side to Jane with both of them trying to help Rachel with her alcohol dependency and it was why Sally wanted to move in with them. Because she knew that Jane needed the support.

"Let's go," Sally said.

"We don't have to."

"No, let's go. It might be fun and I think we could all do with getting out for a bit."

"We could just do the Kennington Park part. We don't have to be part of the parade."

"I think we might need to experience it all. Watch the parade and then head to Kennington Park. Let's live in the moment a bit."

"I must have done something right for you to come into my life."

"I told you, Jane. Our meeting was fate. That little red thread."

"And I can't believe that I fell in love with a romantic," Jane said before she kissed Sally. "A fucking romantic." She mumbled against Sally's lips.

"How about you fuck the romantic?"

"Maybe I will," Jane said, pressing a kiss to the left side of Sally's neck. "Maybe I won't." She said before pressing a kiss to the right side of Sally's neck.

"And you tease me anymore, I am going to flip us."

"Now there is a thought."

Sally knew that Jane wouldn't. Mainly because Sally felt like Jane was still 'teaching' her the ways of a relationship like theirs. Although, she couldn't imagine that there was any other relationship like theirs.


The last thing that Sally wanted to happen was for her to run into someone that she knew. It had taken her most of the week for her to agree with her own thought that it was a good idea and it was something that they should do. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if she had seen Tara Davies first but Sally was only aware of her presence by Tara calling out her name.

"Oh my God, Sally! It is you." Tara said when she finally reached Sally. "How are you? Rumour has it that you joined the old bill."

"I'm good. But that is no rumour. I am a copper. How are you? What are you doing at the moment?"

"Yeah, I'm great. I'm… actually teaching."

"That is what Rachel wants to do."

"Rachel? Does that mean that you are off duty?"

Sally could feel herself hesitate. She knew she loved Jane and they had been together for a year but it was strange to tell someone that she had a girlfriend. She definitely wasn't as confident about it as Jane.

"Rachel is Jane's cousin." Sally stuttered out. "And Jane is my girlfriend."

"Lovely. Chloe, my girlfriend, should be around here somewhere. And Jules. You remember Jules from school. He is gay as well. Our year was obviously paving the way. I mean have you heard about Luna? Well, you would have known her as Louis."

"Really?"

"I think she must be here somewhere. It is definitely a new world, isn't it?"

"There you are, Sally," Jane said as she joined them before she turned to look over her shoulder. "Great, now I've lost Rachel."

Sally knew that she had a lot more confidence now that she had spoken more with Tara. Which is why she looped her arm around Jane's and pulled Jane a little closer to herself.

"Tara, this is Jane, my girlfriend. Jane, this is Tara, we used to go to school together." Sally said.

"Nice to meet you," Jane said.

"You too. Sally was just saying about your cousin wanting to be a teacher." Tara said.

"Yeah, if we can persuade her to. She's… had a bit of a rough time recently."

"Well when you do, send her to Haverstock Comp, in Camden. Basically, there are grants for schools that help off the PGCE qualification and our headteacher is wanting to go for it."

Sally knew Jane's hesitation. Because they both knew that it wasn't that easy for Rachel. Because, unfortunately for Rachel, she didn't have an exam to her name. She had no qualifications and was looking like she was going to spend the next eight years trying to get the qualifications that she needed to fulfil her dream.

"Unfortunately, Rachel needs more than just a PGCE. She… doesn't have any qualifications."

"Send her our way anyway. I am sure we can get her to where she needs to be."

Sally shrugged at Jane as she turned to her and Tara said her goodbyes, stating that she needed to go and find her other half.

"What?" Sally said when she noticed the smile on Jane's face.

"I don't want to mention it."

"Why?"

"Because that is the most comfortable you have been about calling me your girlfriend."

"Maybe because she didn't bat an eyelid and said lovely before talking about her girlfriend and two others from school that might be here."

"See Sal, it gets easier."

"I know. Do you think Rachel will take her offer?"

"Leave Rachel to me. Because you know Rachel's only problem at the moment."

"What's that?"

"Legally, she isn't Rachel. She is still Amanda Fenshaw, with a potential criminal record."

"Then why don't you focus on Rachel and I'll focus on her potential criminal record. We've got her off the drink. I think we can move her onto the next stage."

"I think that seems like a plan. Now, talking about Rachel, I think we better go and find her." Jane said as she took Sally's hand. "And I am going to hold onto you this time so I don't lose you again."

Sally smiled, hoping that Jane meant it both literally and figuratively.


Jane knew the right way to talk to Rachel about what they had discussed earlier. Which is why she waited for Rachel to say that she was going to bed before waiting 20 minutes and then going to Rachel's room, getting under the covers with her and snuggling up to her cousin.

"What do you want?" Rachel said.

"Do you remember when we were reunited and I said that we would help you get any job you wanted and support you in doing that?"

"Yes."

"And you are off the drink and more in control."

"Slightly. Jane, where are you going with this?"

"Sally met up with an old school friend… or just a classmate, and she is a teacher whose school really wants to offer the PGCE thingy."

"Jane… I don't have any O-Levels or GCSEs or whatever they were at the time."

"And I am sure someone as clever as you could race through them."

"I still need a degree, don't I?"

"They must be recruiting if they are introducing a new way to become a teacher. Do you not think that they wouldn't help you fly through it?"

"I suppose."

"You might just have to be open to the subject that you want to teach."

"Jane…"

"Rachel, do you want to be a teacher or not? You are 21 next week. We need to start getting things moving. Sally is going to look into whether you have a criminal record or not and we are going to get the advice that you need to legally change your name. You… can't hide from him forever. You know where you are meant to be. So go out there and stop any more kids falling through the net. If this school will support you, then let it happen."

Jane knew that she was getting through to Rachel when Rachel moved to tuck her head under Jane's chin, hugging her around her waist. Rachel didn't need to say anything more than that. She knew why Rachel was reluctant to leave the house and everything else. But they couldn't move out of London just yet. Because it seemed like London was where they all had the most opportunities at the moment. Once Sally had a few years under her belt and Rachel had become a fully-qualified teacher, then Jane was sure that they would move out of London. Head to the North and never look back.

"Which school?" Rachel asked.

"Haverstock Comp in Camden."

"It will be nearly the end of the school year."

"So go and have a chat with the school. See what they can offer you."

"I thought we were going to leave London as soon as we could. The school might want me to stay there for a while after they train me up."

"Yeah, and Sally wants to have a couple of years before she moves onto a different station. I'm quite lucky because if we go to Manchester, then I can just be transferred from London to there and, hopefully, stay in the same job. Rachel, it doesn't matter. What does matter is you doing something that you want to do and frankly, I think you were born to do. Look back, but don't stay in the past. We have to live in the future."

"I wish we got to leave together."

"Maybe. But I wouldn't have met Sally if I didn't have to come back for you."

"Why did you?"

"Ran into Lucy by some miracle. She said that things were spiralling out of control at home. She said that you had been sucked into Danny's game. How could I not run home to try and save the only family member I had left? I… I wish I found you before you had spent four months on the streets. But I am never letting you go again."

"I think I need someone to be there to catch me," Rachel whispered.

"And I will," Jane said. I promise.

Jane couldn't bring herself to say those last two words. Because she knew that something would happen and that promise would end up being broken. But she felt like things were now heading in the right direction. Jane had her cousin and her girlfriend. What more was there that she could possibly want?