Roxanne Ritchi wakes up, once again at Megamind's lair. As tempting as it would be to dance for joy, she stiffles the impulse, as she really just needs a moment of quiet right now; also, she's tied down in a chair and wouldn't be able to dance anyways. (Not that it's stopped her when she needs to. Maybe she's just tired.) The reason she is so excited is this: Megamind got her away from Hal, who was once again blubbering like the ignorant whale oil that he is. (This means that he only has one purpose, and that purpose is to BURN.) He was going on and on about a date he had planned for the both of them without ever asking her out first, and totally ignoring her attempts to tell him no. And it wasn't even a good date. It was a super creepy date that only someone who spends time on 4chan would like. So, yeah, she was happy (for once) that she was kidnapped. Anything was better than hanging around the cameraman who was undoubtedly using that time to look too long at her boobs.

"Miss Ritchi should be waking up now, sir."

Ah, yes. The ever polite Minion. What a wonderful guy… fish. Every now and then, he would leave cookies for her after a particularly hard kidnapping. Maybe he would this time.

She opens her eyes slowly, acting like she had just woken up instead of taking a nice 5 minute break from the struggles of life.

"Miss Ritchi! We meet again!"

Megamind's smirk is completely unmistakable, and she is just too tired to act scared or snarky at the moment. All she can feel is relief, because this is familiar in a good way, and it is a break from Hal. (She is SO tired of Hal.)

"Yes, and I suppose I should say thank you."

(Maybe she should have gotten more sleep last night, and maybe she needs a new cameraman.)

Megamind cocks his head looking confused but trying to keep up his 'evil' persona, and says "Because you missed me? My dear Miss. Ritchi, I knew you'd come around at some point."

"Maybe I did, but that is not the real reason I am thanking you," she replies with a light chuckle. "You rescued me from my cameraman, Hal. Almost heroic of you. Now, what villainous plot have you planned for today?"

Now Megamind and Minion look at each other in confusion and no small amount of concern, then look back at her.

"Do you wanna put that on hold and have some cookies?" Megamind asks, his expression no longer held together since Roxanne never broke character and he was confused and (actually) concerned for Roxanne's sanity and safety.

"I wouldn't mind, but I am really curious to see what you have planned!" Roxanne says, getting a little more excited. "They are always interesting and typically make me laugh." (She… really needed more sleep if she was admitting this to Megamind. She also probably needed a new hobby besides getting kidnapped by Megamind.)

"Alright, Miss. Ritchi," Megamind says slowly. "But be warned: what you are about to see will be eeeeevil"


When she got back to her apartment after the day's 'evil' plot (which was putting her in a room full of puppies for an hour with some cookies and milk for her in a place the puppies couldn't reach while Megamind and Minion argued about something she couldn't quite hear, and later playing board games with them and chowing down on caramel popcorn), she found a basket filled with more of Minion's cookies and… A RAY GUN!

NO WAY!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Did… did they realize that they gave her a perfectly good way to escape kidnappings? Anyways, they got her cookies and left her a note saying that they wished her a good night and hoped she got better soon. The two of them really were sweet when one gets past the 100 layers of insecurities, trust issues, and misconstrued ideas of what villainy was. Too bad it took a bad day with Hal for this to become apparent to her though.

She was super pumped about the ray gun, though if she used it on Hal (like she wants to) she could only use it once. Hmmmm. She'd have to be smart about it.

But her bed was calling her name, and she didn't have any pressing deadlines. Climbing into bed 30 minutes after coming home was a comfort that she relished and swore that she'd never forget.


Roxanne Ritchi walked into work hiding her nervousness (and a ray gun, just in case Hal decided to do anything weird). Since Megamind kidnapped her but never went through with his original evil deed, she basically went missing from work with no explanation, something her boss did not appreciate since there was always news to be covered. After dropping her stuff off at her desk, she went to her boss's office to apologize, hoping she wasn't about to get fired.

"Ah, Roxanne. Just the reporter I wanted to see. Please, come in and shut the door."

So he wanted to keep this private. After doing what he asked, she sat in a chair opposite of him and waited for him to finish his task. She knew what it was like to be interrupted and loose an amazing thought that would never come back. (Maybe because a blue skinned villain kept kidnapping her, but that is neither here nor there.) He finished typing after a few seconds, moved a few things out of the way, and pulled out a piece of paper that looked like a small story for the back of the newspaper. Her fingers started drumming against her leg.

"So the request for you to get a different cameraman was granted, and Hal will no longer be working with you two weeks from today as he has demonstrated that he is… unsuitable."

Creepy is a better word for it.

"Wait. I never put in a request to get a different cameraman," This statement comes out with a hidden question underneath: who requested that I get a different cameraman? "I came in to apologize for yesterday -"

"It is all taken care of," her boss interrupted her. "Metro Man came over yesterday afternoon to tell us that there was a very brief, not very noteworthy struggle between him and Megamind that you had been caught up in it but were still knocked out because of the Knock Out Gas the villains used on you."

Roxanne was really confused, to put it mildly.

"He was also the one who told us how unsuitable Hal was to be your cameraman, as he should be looking out for you more and should be treating you like a coworker instead of someone to constantly… flirt with."

Well, that explains why Megamind left her in a room full of puppies (she was Not asking how they got there). Either Megamind got Metro Man on board with his plan, or he somehow impersonated Metro Man to do this for her.

No matter how it happened though, work waits for no one (and just became a little easier to manage now that Hal was acting subdued (and sporting a black eye!)). She finished all of her tasks for the day, as well as writing a small piece about the two supers latest "fight", all while wanted to see Megamind so that she could thank him. Or tease him about being a hero. Whichever comes first.


Wayne sat in his hidden rooms underneath his old school, pondering the new information about Megamind that he'd practically handed to Wayne on a silver platter. Megamind, believe it or not, made a better hero than he did. He willingly approached him to help out Roxie from a situation that Wayne probably should have taken care of years ago.

Leaning back against a plush chair, Wayne readily admitted to being good in the spot light as a hero but not actually being heroic outside of an audience. Oh, he would do a lot of stuff, but always to get attention. Megamind had orchestrated a whole ordeal that saved his friend in a way that got him little, if any recognition. Maybe he could use this to his advantage. He'd been tired for some time now, and since the final piece of evidence he'd needed had dropped into his lap, he could feasibly retire without having to worry about the city. Megamind wouldn't harm them. In their 10 years of fighting, no civilian had died and no damage had ever been permanent. Crime as a whole had gone down, and Wayne had his suspicions as to who was behind that as it certainly wasn't himself, and there was less income inequality. For a city that has a supers fighting every other week, they were doing an amazing job, and none of the responsibility was actually Metro Man's. It was all Megamind.

Yes, Wayne thought with a smile. He could retire now that he knew for certain that the city would be in good hands. The real question then would be how to make it convincing.


Obviously this changes canon quite a bit of the story, but I am not sure that I'll write beyond this. I'll leave it open in case I have time, but college is brutal on so many levels.

I do not own Megamind. This is my first Megamind fanfic. Please tell me if you like it. If not, I probably won't notice, but it is nice to be noticed every once in a while.