Chapter Twenty: Live Together and Die Alone Anyway

Kate turned the gun in her hand, tears burning in her eyes as she contemplated it.

What reason did she have not to?

She thought of Aaron, who belonged with Claire. She thought of Sawyer, who she'd murdered. She thought of Hurley, who was gone. She thought of Sun and Jin, who'd drowned together, and Ji Yeon, who she wasn't fit to parent. She thought of Sayid, and his unremembered sacrifice. She thought of Juliet, and of her screams when she'd fallen. She thought of Sawyer's face when he'd carried her bloody body from the Swan. She thought of Locke, and how he'd never been able to see his beloved island again. She thought of her mother's hatred of her. She thought about how she'd killed Tom.

And then she thought of Jack. His smile when he'd said good-bye, the paleness of his face. She thought about his sacrifice, and about his guilt. She thought about how tortured he'd been, and how many times she'd broken his heart.

She was completely alone.

She had been before. . . but then she'd had family. Not a functional family. Not even a good one.

But it was all she had. And now it was gone.

She couldn't stand it. Not the loss. Not the guilt. Not the ache that would never go away.

It was time to face the music. Time to stop running. . .

"Open the door, Kate!" Miles yelled.

It was his room, after all. His gun.

"Dang it, Kate!" He cried. "I mean it!"

"Go away, Miles!" Kate said, trying to keep her voice steady. "I'll be out of your hair soon. . . I doubt you'll feel too guilty. But if you do at all. . . don't. It's best for everyone this way."

There was a long pause on Miles's end.

"Sawyer forgave you." He said quietly. "I've hated to say it, but even if Hurley was fibbing, it was true! I read thoughts and stuff, remember?"

"It doesn't matter anymore." Kate said, trying to sound calm. "Nothing does, now go away!"

"No!" Miles exclaimed. "Kate, I may hate you, but don't do this! We've lost enough people already, and we need you!"

"No one needs me, Miles!" Kate cried. "They're better off with out me!"

"Join the club!" Miles said back. "I've heard pretty much everyone I know say that, and it isn't true every time!"

"Go away, Miles." Kate replied quietly.

"I was blowing smoke!" Miles said furiously. "I didn't mean it about Claire- I didn't mean it about anything."

"You're just trying to make me feel better, Miles. You meant every word." Kate told him tonelessly, praying he'd leave as she looked at the gun again.

"You're right!" Miles answered desperately. "I did mean it! But I also can't stand you, so you shouldn't listen to me! Except for right now, because if the person who hates your guts is begging you not to commit suicide because people need you, it's probably true! It's probably because you're a decent person, so open the door!"

It was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard, but as she contemplated his words, she realized that it was true. Miles did hate her. So if he thought that she shouldn't, then. . .

Numbly, she opened the door, tears falling from her eyes.

"I miss them." She whispered, voice cracking as she looked at him.

"So do I." He answered, prying the gun from her slack fingers.

There was a long silence- very long. She cried, and he stood there.

"Claire needs you. Aaron and Ji Yeon need you." He said finally, when she had rid herself of tears.

Kate stared at him blankly. "I thought that-"

"Oh no." Miles said. "Just because you're depressed doesn't mean your off the hook. I won't blackmail you, but I'm acting as social worker, kapeesh? You're getting checked on constantly, and I get to come to dinner twice a week to make sure you're treating her right. And don't think I'm caving because of this stunt either; it's because I thought about it downstairs for about an hour after you ran up here. . . and I think you were right."

Kate didn't know what to say, or even what to think, but she managed to mutter, "Thank you."

"It doesn't mean we're friends-"

He stopped short as she hugged him, and he stood there awkwardly until she let go.

"You're a good guy, Miles." She said. "And I'm sorry for what I did. . . I'm so sorry."

Miles looked annoyed, but she knew he wasn't. "Listen, if you ever need to talk. . . um, I can sit there. I'm not good at it, but. . . you know. I don't want you to kill yourself or anything."

"I won't." Kate told him. "You helped me see that. . . everything wasn't hopeless."

"Hope is a dangerous thing to lose." Miles said sagely.

Kate nodded slowly. "This is the end of the road, isn't it? It feels like it's all over. . ."

"It only ends once." Miles replied. "For each of us. This is just what happens in between. . . just the progress."

Kate smiled. "Live together, die alone."

Miles chuckled. "We die alone anyway, Kate. . . speaking of which. We've got a lot of funerals to plan."

"Yeah." Kate said. "I suppose we do."


"So, you ready to go home, dude?" Hurley asked, as he, Desmond and Ben stood on the beach.

Desmond nodded. "Aye."

They had just finished having Sunday dinner with Bernard and Rose- there had been wild-boar, mangoes, pineapple, fish, and coconut milk. His head no longer ached, so he'd had a good time. . . But he was eager to leave. Eager to see Penny and Charlie again. Eager to never come back, or think of the island again.

"Good-bye, Desmond." Ben said cordially.

Desmond punched him in the face, something he'd longed to do all day.

"You shot me." He said furiously.

Ben stood up, and wiped the blood from his nose, smiling slightly. "I suppose I deserved that."

"Yeah, dude, you kinda did." Hurley agreed, chuckling.

Desmond nodded severely as he walked over to Hurley.

"See you in another life, brother." He said. "I'll probably hit you again in that one."

Ben smiled. "Fair enough. See you in another life. . . brother."


Well, that's everything guys! I might add a few more chapters in the future, or do a couple Richard-annoys-Miles short stories, but this is it for now. Thank you all so much for your support- especially Marla!

I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing :-)