Or, "Mo' Moose, Mo' Problems!"
(*fade to black, open on Boris and Natasha wearing rapper outfits—backwards caps, large gold necklaces, the like*)
Boris: "(offscreen) Vait are ve on? Okey...(onscreen).."
"Nogüdnikz Rap!
B-Boyris Bad-e-nuff'
Feat. Notorious N.A.T, ASAP ROCK-E, Feat. Wink-L.
So, So very Deaf Records"
(Boris approaches next to Natasha, both are behind a large, brick wall with graffiti of Rocky and Bullwinkle's faces. He crosses them out with red spray paint.)
Boris: "Well, eet's a
First name Boris, last name Badenov,
Y'all vant more? Nah, homes,
Ju ain't had enough!
Ve take vone for money and two for show,
Moose and sqvirrel?
Heh!
THEY BLOW!"
(*He presses down on a plunger detonator, blowing up the image of Bullwinkle and Rocky.*)
Boris: "I yam world's greatest bad guy,
A straight up G,
An' my voice vas done, by mister Frees!
Workin' like dog since ear-ly 1960's!
Now Ees time for hit chorus, dudes
Een Soviet P-vania,
Chorus hit you!"
(*R and B Break, Natasha is overlooking the waves, dressed in a swimsuit*)
Natasha: "(*autotuned voice*) I am,
Aco-omplice, to dis loon,
Vatch Vhat-I-can-do vith au-to-tuuuuune,
Yeah bay-beee..."
(*Rocky and Bullwinkle immediately show up, dressed in rap clothing.*)
Bullwinkle: "Whaddup, fools?
It's moose and squirrel!
Comin' atcha with the antlers an' a tail in a curl!
We savin' the day,
Not to mention the world,
We bein' ourselves
An' gettin' them girls!"
(*he winks at a lady, causing her to faint.*)
Rocky: "The name is Rocky, literally super fly!
I'm a real heroic all American guy!
Bullwinkle's my pal, yeah, I like him a lot,
And there ain't no homie like the one I got!"
(*Scene changes back to Boris, now lounging atop a low-rider.*)
Boris: "Oh, ees cute, sqvirrel,
But enough of dat,
Pretty soon the both of you go splat!
An' now ees the end of rhyme,
Natasha, do chorus one more time!"
Natasha: "(taking the mic from Boris) Okey, ju know vat?! I'm no doink chorus! Drop mic, gimmie beatski, KEEK EHT VONCE TIME, BOY-EEE!"
(*The beat changes up slightly to a more 90's "battle rap"-type sound. Natasha is now wearing an outfit reminiscent of Salt-N-Pepa, standing in front of a wall with a graffiti image of June Foray.*)
Natasha: "I, have, been,
Eye candy for adults since 59',
Foray be doink my voice so sublime,
I could be better off,
On solo mission,
Not vith stupid men, I von't be in submission!"
Rocky, Boris and Bullwinkle: "(at Fearless Leader) OHHHHHH!"
Natasha: "—Privyet, Boris, dollink,
Vatch me find commie callink,
The bigger moose ees,
The harder he be fallink!
—straight outta
Pottsylvania,
Moose and sqvirrel mania,
All these escapades,
Makink brain go insane, da?!"
(*Nat dunks a basketball, unknowingly slamming it onto Boris' face. Then she approaches Fearless Leader.*)
Natasha: "Shout out to Fearless,
Vassup main boss man?
Eef ju ac'tully smart, ju'd have eh
Real plan!
Vith' c4 explosive, tank, an' nuclear bomb, G,
Not Hush-a-Boom, jet fuel, or
KIR-WARD DER-BY!
To mother Pottsylvania ees vat I hail,
AND MY RHYMES MORE EXPLOSIVE THAN MOLOTOV COCK-TAIL!
PEACE!"
(*She "drops the mic" along with a molotov, exploding everything. The music video stops, revealing that none other than the Moon Men are producing it*.)
Cloyd: "(over mic) Uh, great job guys! I think we could rehearse one more time…"
End.