Malcolm had always considered himself to be a most obedient officer, loyal and unquestioning in his orders. Drilled into him from a young age, his unwavering devotion to authority was one of the few things that he'd always taken pride in. Or at least he had. Now though, as he walked the dark corridors of Degra's vessel, he realised just how close he'd come to starting an all-out row with his commanding officer, on the bridge, no less. He'd been bordering on insubordination as it was with his responses to his Captain's request but Captain Archer had been too far gone to really notice; too focused on his goal to realise the danger in his actions.

Despite his anger, Malcolm let his pace slow somewhat trying to draw out the time it took to reach the quarters where Hoshi currently resided; anything to keep her in peace for a few moments more. Malcolm almost snorted out loud at his own thoughts. Peace. What an utterly laughable concept for the young ensign who was once so full of life and now seemed to be barely holding on to reality. He'd barely recognised her in sick bay, the sallow pallor to her skin and strange markings where the parasites had tunnelled into her brain making her appear a shadow of her former self.

As Phlox had loaded her onto Degra's ship he'd been uttering an extensive list of instructions, things he should be careful to watch for. It was when he indicated the cardio-stimulator that Malcolm had been shaken from his stupor and questioned why on earth she was being transported in her condition. Phlox had sighed and uttered two simple words.

"Captain's orders."

Malcolm hadn't always seen eye to eye with Captain Archer. They'd frequently butted heads in the early days over security arrangements and his superior officer's insistence that 'Enterprise is not a warship' but Malcolm liked to think he'd earned the Captain's respect; he'd certainly come to respect the Captain far beyond the standard expectation from a lower ranking officer to a higher one. Now though, as he paused outside the doors to the cabin, he struggled to find his respect for his superior officer. Malcolm drew in a deep breath, knowing that he was dangerously close to letting his personal feelings spill out; his carefully hidden feelings for the linguist currently lying tormented on the bunk behind the doors.

Malcolm knew what was at stake, he knew Captain Archer was consumed with the need to protect the Earth, to right the wrong and prevent the unthinkable but he no longer seemed to care who he sacrificed along the way. He'd changed since they entered the expanse, made decisions Malcolm never thought possible of the man and now Hoshi was caught in the crossfire. His hand lingered at the keypad, trying to give Hoshi even a few more seconds of peace before he interrupted her. When he'd thrown out his father's expectations of a naval career it wouldn't have occurred to him in a million years that this would where he would end up. Calling on the infamous Reed family ability to suck up your feelings before burying them deep below, he entered the code and the door slid open.

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the darker interior, but they were immediately drawn to Hoshi's twisted form, lying half tangled in a thin sheet that was drawn up to her face. The tension in her body was all too evident, even if he hadn't been able to see the pained look on her face from the light spilling through the door. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut; Malcolm wasn't sure if it was a nightmare or a vision. The doctor had hastily shoved a padd in his hands that had several sections on PTSD.

Not wanting to scare her, Malcolm turned the lights up a fraction, so the shadows didn't appear so ominous. He shuffled quietly over to the bed and spoke her name softly.

"Hoshi." There was no response from the woman on the bed. Malcolm frowned awkwardly lowering himself to perch on the side of the bed, his notions of propriety swiftly overruled by his concern of the dangers of looming over a traumatised person when trying to wake them.

"Hoshi?" He raised his voice a little and laid a hand on the bottom half of her exposed leg; this time, Hoshi reacted. A small whimper escaped her lips and her hands clutched at the sheet. Malcolm felt an unpleasant tightening in his chest.

"Hoshi, it's Mal- Lieutenant Reed." He hated himself for the awkwardness in his attempts at comfort.

Hoshi's eyes snapped open and her body surged upwards, her hands taking a misjudged swipe at Malcolm, missing their mark by quite some way as dizziness overwhelmed her at the sudden movement.

"No!" It was strangled, caught almost entirely in her throat but Hoshi couldn't see Degra's quarters for the vision of the Reptilian Vessel that swum before her eyes. They were going to force her to decrypt more before they killed her. She couldn't let that happen. She made another sudden attempt for freedom, picturing the railing in her head that she'd failed to reach before. A sharp pain shot through her knee followed by a knife-like pain splitting through her head.

"Hoshi, Hoshi stop it's okay, you're safe."

Malcolm? Hoshi's thoughts struggled to make sense of the familiar voice. How could he be on the reptilian ship?

"I'm not, I'm on Degra's ship, and so are you." He tried to make his voice as soothing as possible, lowering himself to look Hoshi directly in her eyes in the hope the glassiness reflected in them would clear.

"Malcolm?" Hoshi consciously spoke out loud for the first time, her brain feeling as though it were a beat behind.

"Yes, it's me."

Her vision cleared somewhat, and the familiar blue-grey eyes of Enterprise's security officer swam into view. She swallowed.

"We're not on Enterprise?"

Malcolm shook his head, already not wanting to have to tell her where they were going.

"Degra's ship?"

"Yeah."

"Did something happen?"

"No, Enterprise is fine." He spoke hurriedly to assuage her fears. "We've split to go on two different missions at the same time."

Hoshi swallowed again, trying to fight the pain in her head that was threatening to make her pass out; she didn't want to go there again.

"What mission?"

"Let's get you off the floor first and something to make you feel better." Malcolm cursed his cowardice. He'd trained all his life to perform under pressure, to prioritise duty above all else but something about the woman in-front of him made him lose that ability, almost as though he'd never had it.

His words took a moment to sink in for Hoshi, unsure whether or not he'd answered her question but then distracted by the fact she was, indeed, on the floor. The sheet tangled around her legs revealed the source of the problem and she vaguely registered why her knee was throbbing. She felt Malcolm's hand gently grasping her own, exerting the smallest of forces as he tried to coax her up; his hands were warm. Keeping hold of his hand was hard, she felt unsteady; it was only then she realised her whole body was shaking.

Malcolm watched her struggle to keep control as her body started to betray her. He didn't know why she was shaking, although he had a number of guesses based on Phlox's hasty instructions. He carefully helped her up, quietly terrified of making a wrong movement which would transport her mind straight back to the Reptilian ship.

Once he had her settled on the bed, Malcolm backed off in an attempt to give her some space to ground herself. He busied himself with picking up the sheet, turning it over in his hands and frowning as the rough and somewhat threadbare material rubbed against his skin. He crossed over to the bag Phlox had sent with Hoshi, picking out the hypospray that he'd been instructed to deliver once she was properly awake. He glanced back at Hoshi, who was staring glassy eyed at the opposite bulkhead. He cleared his throat, holding out the device.

"Is it okay if I…" He gestured towards her neck and Hoshi tensed before giving the smallest of nods. He perched next to her on the bed, not wanting to loom over her again and emptied the vial into her veins. Hoshi's fist tightened as the gentle hissed signalled the release of the fluid. Malcolm withdrew, trying to give her space as he watched her fight to stop the shake; he was almost surprised that her grip on the sheets hadn't yet caused them to rip.

"Where are we going?"

In that moment, Malcolm was no longer torn over his trust in Captain Archer; in that moment, he didn't respect the man at all.

"The Xindi-Primates are trying to track the Reptilian ship" he spoke softly but her flinch at the mention of the reptilian vessel was unmissable.

"Captain Archer believes if we can get onboard the vessel, there is still a chance to disable the weapon."

For the first time since the conversation had started, Hoshi seemed almost completely present as she met Malcolm's gaze.

"He needs me to complete the decryption." It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement.

"Yes, he thinks it's our only chance at stopping the weapon." Hoshi's eyes were downcast; he could almost see her retreating into the shell she'd been forced into by the reptilians. Her lips twitched but the sound barely came out.

"Hoshi?"

"It's all my fault." Hoshi's voice was barely above a whisper but, to Malcolm's dismay, tears started to spill out of her eyes.

"Hoshi don't you dare think that." He moved and crouched in-front of her, desperately trying to get her to look at him.

"They tortured you, they forced you to submit; it wasn't your fault." Malcolm was emphatic but even as he spoke, he could see his words were just rolling off of her.

"But you wouldn't have surrendered." Malcolm fought not to pause, not to think about whether his training would have helped him fare any better than the woman in-front of him.

"Hoshi, they fed parasites into your brain, it's amazing that you resisted as long as you did."

"I should have moved faster." She spoke to herself now, acting as though Malcolm was no longer in the room. He hesitated a beat before grasping her hands in his, pushing aside his notions of propriety with an almost desperate need to comfort the woman who secretly meant so much to him.

"Hoshi, I know it doesn't feel like it but you're going to get through this. You are strong and you are brave; one day this will all just be a memory."

At first Hoshi showed no sign she'd even heard Malcolm, but after a minute she raised her eyes to meet his again. He held her gaze, trying to convey all the comfort he wanted to give her, all the affection he held back for the sake of duty. He squeezed her hands and then, in a gesture far more intimate than he would usually be comfortable with, he raised a hand to tuck an errant strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear; he let his hand linger for only a few seconds before letting it fall. To his surprise, she didn't flinch.

Malcolm straightened back up and diverted his attention to the storage unit, wanting to give Hoshi some time to try and compose herself. He dug through the drawers, unsure what he was looking for but knowing if he found it, he'd know it.

Hoshi sat, still trying to quell the shaking of her hands. She just wanted everything to stop. If she could have pressed a button that ended it all there and then she would have been sorely tempted. It was only Malcolm's quiet encouragement that had given her a small amount of pause. Her head was hurting slightly less but, if anything, it had allowed the mess of thoughts to amplify as they were tossed around inside her head like a ship in a storm. She still wasn't completely certain that this wasn't an elaborate fantasy concocted by her brain, that she wouldn't wake to find herself back in the reptilian cell.

What if this was all created by the parasites to get her to finish the decryption?

She shot a fearful glance at Malcolm, trying to figure it out.

"Oh, bloody hell!"

Hoshi blinked. It wasn't often the universe gave signs, but she doubted even the parasites could have replicated Malcolm's outburst as he hit his head on the corner of the drawer unit he was delving into.

Hoshi tried to shake herself, raising her unsteady hands to try and fix her sloppy ponytail, aiming desperately for some sense of normality. Her arms ached as she lifted them, and she quickly found her hands too unsteady to adjust the thin tie holding the remainder of her hair in place.

"May I?" Malcolm's timid question took Hoshi by surprise. She looked at him as he looked apprehensively at her, sizing him up before nodding. He sat behind her; every movement careful and measured to be as gentle as possible. He slid the hair tie off, letting her hair fall free before starting to gather all of it back into a ponytail.

"Maddie used to let me play with her hair sometimes. I always had to keep mine short, navy style you know, but when I was young her long hair fascinated me. I was never very good at styling it though, so you'll have to forgive me." He didn't know what made him share the memory, especially with the gravity of the situation. Hell, he shouldn't have even been lingering this long as they probably needed him doing battle tactics on the bridge, but this seemed more important somehow. He secured the hair tie, slightly satisfied that at least it held even if it was looser than Hoshi's normal style.

"There, all done." He backed off again and Hoshi twisted slightly, shivering as she moved, reminding Malcolm of what he had originally been looking for.

He moved back to the drawers, this time taking care not to bash his head as he found his quarry. He pulled the thick blanket out of the drawer, shaking it slightly to dislodge the creases. Feeling a sliver of satisfaction, he moved back to Hoshi and offered it to her.

"It's not perfect but-" Malcolm trailed off as Hoshi looked at the blanket, all sense of satisfaction dissolved as the gravity of the situation once again hit him.

Hoshi stared at the blanket, trying to make sense of everything. It was as though she were sitting at a poker game but couldn't see her own cards. She fought against the fog, clinging onto the soft voice which managed to penetrate through the cloud smothering her thoughts; she always had like to listen. Only half aware, she raised an unsteady hand towards the blanket, gripping the edge gently. Malcolm took this as a sign of approval and gently wrapped it around her, his arm lingering over her shoulders as he made the final fold; Hoshi didn't make any effort to move away.

He could feel her chill even through the blanket. It wasn't as soft as he would have liked but it was thick, and large enough to wrap around her at least once and half again. He sat there, arm still resting on her wishing there was something else he could offer her than pitiful words and an old blanket. The padd with the data for decryption was in his back pocket, practically burning a hole as his sense of duty fought the battle with his personal feelings. So much was hanging in the balance

Hoshi continued to shiver, grasping the blanket tightly. The room seemed to wash in and out of focus around her as her brain continued to scrabble for information. Nothing made sense anymore. The only thing she was aware of was the warm body sitting next to her. Whether it was real or not, the faint smell of aftershave and phase pistol lubricant was comforting. She found herself moving closer, praying that it was real, that she really had been rescued.

Malcolm's heart squeezed when Hoshi tucked herself against him. He rapidly squashed the rush of affection that blossomed in his stomach, a harsh mental reprimand on hand for his reaction. His feelings for the linguistics officer had so far remained carefully hidden behind what he hoped was a valued friendship for her; heaven knows how much he valued it himself. However, now was not the time to be dwelling on his feelings, especially those of a romantic nature.

If Malcolm was truthful with himself, he might have admitted his suspicion that he had fallen completely in love with her but that was to be saved for an entirely different time when Hoshi hadn't been tortured to within an inch of her life and when they weren't on something that felt like a suicide mission. His stomach clenched unpleasantly; he had to get Hoshi back safe and sound, and the Captain. He took a practiced breath in to re-focus, grounding himself in the gentle thrum of the engines before being carefully distracted by the feel of Hoshi curled up against him and the way she fit in his arm.

For Malcolm, the moment was over when his communicator buzzed, bringing him back to reality with a crash. He lingered for barely a moment more before he shifted to retrieve the padd from his pocket. He looked down at Hoshi, her head now pillowed on his shoulder as she stared into the distance with eyes that were almost shut.

"Hoshi?" His voice was barely above a whisper and garnered no response.

He lifted his hand and gently rested it on her cheek, mirroring his earlier action.

"Hoshi?" he repeated a little louder, this time eliciting a raise of her head; her eyes met his, the fog clearing slightly.

"The decryption." She muttered vaguely and Malcolm nodded, hating himself just a little bit more as he pressed the padd into her hand.

His communicator buzzed again.

As he went to rose, Hoshi made a quickly aborted motion towards his arm, but Malcolm caught her hand before it fell.

"You're going?"

"I'm needed on the bridge." He explained gently. "I'll come back when we're done." He squeezed her hand before releasing it, making sure she was settled with the blanket before he withdrew towards the door.

"If you need anything, just comm me." He indicated Hoshi's own replacement communicator on the unit next to the bed.

Hoshi nodded, trying to appear as though she were more confident than she felt.

"I'll see you soon."

The hiss of the door sliding shut did nothing to quell the dread rapidly growing in the pit of Hoshi's stomach. It was just about believable that she'd made it off of the reptilian ship but now she was on her own, doubt crept in again. She pulled the blanket tighter around herself, trying to imagine Malcolm's warmth was still nearby. The cool metal of the padd grasped precariously in her fingers served only to remind her the fight wasn't over yet. She was so tired.

A far cry from the na?ve ensign that had boarded the Enterprise a few years ago, Hoshi took a deep breath trying to steady the thoughts streaming through her head; a shiver ran through her body as the visions threatened to knock her over again. She clutched the pad harder, relishing the dull pain as the edges dug into her palm managing to ground her. The Captain needed her. The earth needed her. Without warning, Malcolm's grey eyes swum before her; the mingled kindness and concern as he'd regarded her only minutes before. Malcolm trusted her to get this done and somehow that was enough to cut through a little more of the mental fog that was still clinging to the cell on the reptilian vessel. Hoshi gritted her teeth and squinted at the padd.

It was time to get to work.


My first venture into Enterprise fan fiction but there is something about the Sato-Reed ship which I find intriguing. Thoughts welcome.