Eat, Drink and Be Merry

Disclaimer: All Fantastic Beasts names, characters and locations belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing that you recognize.

Written for The Great 2021 Prompt Compendium
Prompt 67: write a story set at the grocery store


Sometimes even the most powerful among us are tasked with mundane activities, such as grocery shopping, washing clothes and preparing daily meals. Even Gellert Grindelwald and his loyal servant Dragon had to make a trip to the store every now and then. This usually meant waking up at an ungodly hour, tumbling out of bed and pretending like you're awake enough to know where you're at and what you're doing.

And so once again Dragon had to force herself out of bed at six in the morning. She rolled over out of her doggy bed, her form changing from that of a winged wolf into a more human figure. She then glanced at the sleeping form on the bed, making sure her son was resting comfortably before leaving in search of her master.

Turns out Grindelwald was asleep on the couch as usual, with a handful of chupacabras crawling along the back of the furniture.

One of the smaller creatures came forward, tilting his head and making a low purring sound. He then gripped the back of the couch with his tiny claws, wiggling his backside before leaping onto Dragon's shoulder.

"Is the master coming with me this morning?" Dragon asked, reaching up and gently stroking the top of his head. Antonio cooed, and Dragon took that as a yes.

She smiled, tickling his side before placing him on the arm of the couch. "Make sure he meets up with me later. He knows where to find me."

.oOo.

Twenty minutes later, Grindelwald Apparated outside of the local Wiz Mart, pausing to smooth out the wrinkles in his leather jacket.

"Ridiculous, the way I'm forced to spend my time nowadays," the dark wizard grumbled. "This is the part the wizarding world historians fail to mention, the real reason behind the defeat of Gellert Grindelwald, who now lies imprisoned in his own fortress after a failed court case got him banished from the filming industry."

He swept past the people going into the building, already pondering his ice cream options. Another carton of vanilla ice cream, maybe rocky road or mint pistachio. All of them were good choices, but how on earth would he chose which one to get?

Maybe he should get one of each.

It wasn't long until he met up with Dragon, who was scanning the shelves for graham crackers.

"Oh, s'mores flavored ice cream!" Grindelwald blurted out, just as she was reaching for a box of honey graham crackers. "Best to stock up on seasonal flavors while the opportunity presents itself." He tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. "Write that down. We mustn't forget to purchase a carton or two of s'mores ice cream."

A smile formed on her lips, and Dragon took out her pen, writing his request on her shopping list.

"We still need raisins and honey so I can make mozies," Dragon said, glancing at her list. "And almonds for banana nut bread."

She plucked a bunch of bananas off the display rack, added a second bunch, then continued down the aisle. They were halfway towards the baking section when Grindelwald found a discarded box of donuts that had been tossed in with the produce display.

Quickly he glanced around to make sure no one was watching. When he looked back at the box, he could see that someone had already opened it and eaten two of the donuts. However, that didn't stop him from snatching the box and shoving one of the delectable pastries in his mouth.

"Master!" Dragon hissed, seeing globs of frosting and sprinkles clinging to his mustache. At first she was shocked by his behavior. And then she wanted to laugh. "You look like Nyan cat, only instead of rainbows and pop tarts it's rainbow sprinkles and donuts."

Grindelwald responded with a cheerful meow, grinning from ear to ear like the Cheshire cat.

When they reached the baking aisle, the dark wizard had to stop and admire the selection of nuts.

"Hmm, boiled nuts," he said, just as Dragon was examining the price tag on a bag of almonds. "I've never heard of that before. Is that a sex thing?"

Dragon facepalmed.

"I've participated in a wide variety of fetish acts, oh yes," he continued, nodding sagely. "I'm no stranger to bondage, impact play and the like. However, I don't think I'd want someone to boil my - "

"Oh for the love of all that's good and holy in Merlin's beard!" Dragon exclaimed, cutting him off in midsentence. But the cat man was determined to have a conversation about the contents of a particular product on the shelf.

"It must be related to teabagging, when you repeatedly dip and boil your nuts in a particularly warm location. Perhaps someone who is running a temperature. Because I know that my libido is strangely enhanced when I'm coming out of a long illness, usually when I'm feeling just a little feverish and sweaty. Must be careful not to suffer a relapse."

"It wasn't a sex thing until you made it a sex thing," Dragon muttered, placing the bag of almonds in her chart and continuing on her way.

After getting some almonds and raisins, they passed by a section of coffee mugs, thermoses and other kitchen items. Dragon stopped to look at the mugs, hoping she could find a replacement for her favorite wolf mug that broke a couple months ago.

"Look at this one," she said, pointing at a mug emblazoned with the words "Jesus and coffee" in big bold letters. "They need to make one of those for Mary Lou that says Jesus and diapers."

"Oh dear Lord," the cat man groaned.

"Exactly!" Dragon chirped. "Couldn't you just see her drinking booze out of something like that? While she's sitting there in a dirty diaper, stinking up the entire house with her nastiness."

"I can actually. Though it's not a mental image I wish to dwell on."

They were still discussing coffee mug designs when two young women walked past. One of them said, rather loudly, "This dress is creeping up my ass every damn time I walk!"

Grindelwald turned and looked at the woman in the dress. "Believe me, darling, I know the feeling."

From there they continued on to the frozen treats section, where Grindelwald hastily grabbed two cartons of s'mores ice cream. He was reaching for a container of rocky road when he spied something called double rainbow marshmallow fluff. He got some of that too, and was dipping one of his donuts in it as they were leaving the store with their purchases.