Katawa Shoujo

Learning to Live: Introductions

Every crisis is unexpected. When one arises, we adapt, attempting to live through the crisis. We do what is necessary that we survive and we take every means necessary to survive. Yet, I think most of us try to make sure that we have the appearance that our daily lives are normal. That the events of what just happened or what is happening has little effect upon our lives. Yet, through all of this, when all we focus is on how to mitigate the crisis… I think most of us sometimes forgot how to learn to live our lives.

-Narrated

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump: Went the taxi as it travelled up another hill, the tires crossing over a manhole every so often. The scenery of trees and grassy hills seem to pass like a blur as the engine revved through with a quiet vroom. The low volume of the radio hummed on some channel, static crackled with the noises of what seem to be an overuse of the bass and electronic soundboard that vibrated from the side speakers. The steady beat of the bass rung through the car, seemly overpowering the melody of the song as it was bounced to become background noise.

The taxi itself was plain; parts of the yellow paint that outlined the exterior looked like it had been stripped while the grey interior was riddled with holes and tears. The driver merely had a bored look on his face, his eyes focused on only getting to the destination as quickly as possible. Random assortments of empty coffee cups and plastic bags that use to hold different places for take-out littered the floor, showing the unhealthy diet of the driver. It didn't help that the inside smelled like a mix of coffee, gym sweat and molded cheese.

Katsuro sighed; sitting in his seat as he idly tapped his fingers on his lap as he looked out the window. A hand unconsciously crossed his chest, a finger tracing across his shirt that went across from pectoral to pectoral. Another sigh left his lips but his stomach began to flip as he remembered where he was going as he looked at his watch.

I don't know whether I am excited or if I am afraid. Katsuro thought, his brain looking through his memories to the conversation that brought him here.

2 months ago...

Katsuro was sitting in one of the chairs, placed next to the window where he sat, overlooking the sea of buildings and trees. A few cars would occasionally drive pass as he watched pedestrians walk with umbrellas that shielded them from the soft mix of snow and rain. The pattering of the rain against his window was mesmerizing; an attempt to escape the dull, green interior that he called a hospital room. He couldn't complain, his room had been decorated to feel as homely as possible while he had a personal doctor assigned to him to look after him 24/7. Yet, he couldn't shake the feeling like he was trapped like a rat inside a cage as he looked outside.

When he was transferred to this private care clinic from the general hospital, he first held a great amount of optimism. He thought to himself that he was only going to be in here for a couple of days, a few weeks at worst which then he could go back and live his life. He thought he could go back to what he loved to do: swimming, hanging out with friends and flirting with girls.

However, after that 'incident', it was that realization that his acceptance only turned that glowing optimism into bitter pessimism as days turned into weeks, which turned into months. The incident made him feel like a freak, knowing that he would be unable to go back to his normal life.

In his normal life, he swam for the provincial team of B.C. and he was good. It helped his confidence that his dad was also a swimmer who had swam in the Olympics, which gave him that "leg-up" early in life when it came to the foundations of swimming. But he wanted to be his 'own man', hence he would constantly work through the envy and backtalk, fighting for each step of recognition as he placed first in the many swim meets. His ethic would finally award him with an invitation to try out for the national team of Canada.

His initial acceptance out of the general hospital led to a restart of his regime of swimming at the local pool. His major desire to get back before the provincial tryouts in March was to show all the naysayers that he still had it. Stretches and core work-outs to warm up, then to move onto 4-6 six different sets of swimming, each consisting of different cardio and body strengthening movements, then back to stretches, arm and leg work-outs to cool down. It was quite low standard to what he would normally practice but it was a start considering being contained to a bed in the general hospital for at least a month and a half.

Five days passed as he worked on his set regime; Sharp pain pierced through his chest and his breathing had become more labored which he shook off as being unfit. He had standards after all and he was going to work himself back to the physical shape to where he was before the accident. The chest pains didn't go away and his breathing had become even more ragged, but that only fueled Katsuro to do better. Only nine days into his regime, he felt his heart clutch as if he had been stabbed; his throat tightened as he felt the inability to breathe and the sudden rapture of black as he fell unconscious.

The loud beeps and chattering of doctors only awoken Katsuro back to the familiar place in which he found himself stuck in a bed. His heart sank ten-fold, his feelings muddled as he listened to the diagnosis from doctor who held a mess of papers that stuck onto a wooden clipboard. The words that exited out of the doctor's mouth didn't even register to Katsuro, not wanting to believe that he had become bed-ridden again. Arrhythmia echoed in his mind over and over as it was the only thing that resonated in that moment.

Knock. Knock. Katsuro turned, the loud taps on his door breaking him from his sulking as he rubbed his face. "Who is it?"

The door creaked open, a female slipped through wearing an open white coat as she held a clipboard in her hand. A stethoscope lazily hung around her neck as she gave a warm smile, putting the clipboard on the table as she took a chair next to Katsuro. "Yo! Yo! How are you feeling?"

Katsuro rolled his eyes, the attempt at slang was needless as he merely shrugged his shoulders. "Fine, I guess." He answered curtly. Being shelled at the clinic, the constant line of questions and checkups made Katsuro turned his talking towards a curt manner. Keep your speech concise, to the point and speak only when necessary.

The doctor's smile dimmed from the curt reply. Yet, she was doing her best to stay positive, regardless of what the patient was feeling. She walked over to his table, filled with a stack of different medical papers accompanied by labeled bottles of what he had to take. "Did you take your lunch pills yet?"

"Yes Doctor."

A small disapproving "tsk" came out of the doctor's mouth. "Katsuro, I told you to call me Riko when it's just us."

Riko Sadou; his aunt and only family that seemed to care about him… After the accident, she had 'pledged' that she would take care of her sister's kid, transferring over from her original post as a Medical Doctor and Researcher in the United States to come all the way to Canada. For only being 45 years old, she had the figure if she was in her early 20s while having dirty, dark blond hair and auburn eyes. Her positive attitude nudged against the attitude of a sulking teenager, Katsuro's frustration bubbling as angry words escaped his mouth.

"I'm fine! I have managed so far!" The outburst washed the smile away from Riko, a small frown of disapproval formed on her face as she sat on the chair closest to Katsuro.

"Katsuro, will you stop being pathetic and stop sulking. I know it sucks that your parents died... My sister died that night as well but you can't just sit here and wait till you start to rot. You need to start to open up and talk to people. There are people out there that care about you."

Bluntness was a main trait in Riko, being totally transparent with anyone while being honest made her non-existent tactfulness useful in delivering bad news. Telling the truth in her profession was like an art but she would spew it out without missing a beat, no matter how bad the news could potentially hurt those that would have to take it. Katsuro's bitterness finally boiled over, as his anger spewed the first thing on his mind so he could get his aunt to shut up.

"What people, Riko?" The comment spat like venom, turning the conversation into an awkward silence. Riko's head slowly bowed down, the comment seemed to melt her positive facade as she looked at the floor to hide her feelings. The moment of anger dissipated as quickly as it came, Katsuro internally hit himself in disappointment. Here he was, acting out on his Aunt with something that he knew he shouldn't have gotten angry. She had dedicated her career to helping him for almost a year now, switching from a lucrative job to simply helping him out of her claim of family.

"No, I didn't..." He trailed off, not even knowing how to finish his statement. When he was first accepted, his room was littered in flowers, get-well cards and constant visits from friends and acquaintances from his family. It was a nice feeling to know that you were missed and there were people that cared about you. It was...Katsuro thought.

It was after his second admittance into the hospital he found that the cards and visit dropped to a frequency of zero. Then the harsh reality set in as he realized why people only came; the fame from his father and his built reputation as a swimmer. The only cards that came where sponsors who had 'regrettably' pulled their support of their brand behind his name while Katsuro learned the harsh reality of what happens when you only made friends based on one's appearance and 'fame'.

"I know these past 6 months have been rough, Katsuro." Riko said softly, sounding as down-to-earth as possible. It was the few times that his words affected Riko's positive attitude.

"You weren't the only one that was mourning... I know that your uncles, aunts, cousins and friends all left you because you weren't able to become your father and I especially know being diagnosed with Arrhythmia made you lose your life. But don't think for a moment that no one cares about you." Riko's voice clenched, holding up the welling of tears that surfaced in her eyes as Katsuro put a hand on hers.

"I'm sorry Riko... I'm just frustrated." Katsuro apologized, his guilt finally realizing how stupid it was to shout at the only person that was taking care of him. His self-indulgence to gratify himself as a "special case" was one that constantly went through his head, amplified by the bitterness of his situation. It was plain idiocy to allow this clout to muddle the fact that his Aunt was doing everything for him.

"You have all the reasons to be angry."Riko muttered quietly but just enough for Katsuro to here. He winced at the comment, the hurt and pain in her voice built on Katsuro's guilt. The long list of medicine, advisories, contraindications and times for each medicine when he first admitted was only cut down due to Riko's help and that was something that he was truly thankful for. She had even dedicated weekends and nights to create a medicine specially defined for him.

"I'm sorry I upset you. You done everything for me and I'm just being that angsty teenager we hate so much..." He paused, thinking of a way to make it up as an idea popped into his head.A smile cracked on his face as he scratched his head.

"How about I make it up to you by buying a latte next time I'm allowed a walk outside." Katsuro said, attempting to lighten up the mood as he flashed a quick smile. He knew Riko's loving compulsion for lattes easily brought her eyes open with flash a joy before she realized what his ploy was as she slapped Katsuro's hand softly.

"I see your little trick. You are trying to distract me." She crossed her arms, giving Katsuro a small but cheeky smile.

"But I mean it. I appreciate for... everything you have done."

"Fine, but you owe me two lattes for making me so upset." She said, sticking her tongue out playfully as soft laughter escaped Katsuro's lips as he shook his head. The laughter died down as both seem to be able to compose themselves back to normal.

"Do you know what you are going to be doing for this year of schooling?" Katsuro froze at his Aunt's question. He actually never thought about what he was going to do about finishing Grade 12. It was already 4 months into the Grade 12 year and he had just taken his Grade 11 exams just a couple of weeks ago. His daily physicals and exercise routine, if he could call it an exercise routine, medical check-ups and his apparent self-loathing had fogged his mind.

"Uhh..." Was all Katsuro was able to produce as Riko gave a teasing smile.

"I'll take that as a no." Quiet silence was given as her answer as she gave a small click with her tongue, reaching into one of her pockets as she brought out a brochure. She reached out, brochure in hand as she reached to give it to Katsuro. The brochure was flashy, large bold texts and bright pictures plastered the brochure as big bold letters called Yamaku High School was imprinted.

"Open it." Riko said, Katsuro glancing at it again before opening, the brochure opening into three different 'slides'. Each slide was filled with details about the school, what it was, what it does, the purpose and what it gives to students that join. However, reading more and more into finally realized the type of school it was.

"It's a school for crip- the physically disabled..." Katsuro said quietly. He caught himself from saying the word 'cripple', something that he knew would give him a beating from his own Aunt regardless of his condition.

"You need to get moving with your life kid. And being your head doctor, this is the best place that can give you 24-hour care and treatment without me having to worry about you every day. You can live a normal life and if anything goes wrong, you will always have people that know what they are doing. Besides, it has a pool!" Riko argued.

"It's in Japan..." Her argument was sound but Katsuro still hesitated with his response as Riko folded her arms.

"I know the distance is far and all but... Look! I'm trying to help us both. You know what I been dedicating my time too and I can't supplement both if I have to watch you daily while simultaneously attempting to finish my project." Katsuro sighed, looking at the brochure again. He really had nothing to lose, all his 'friends' and family were gone and it was a good chance to start a clean slate. Then why I am so hesitant to go? Katsuro thought.

"Katsuro... We both know that you can't be like this forever. This is your best chance to get out there and live again." Riko pleaded quietly, her hands falling on his shoulders as he glanced up to see her eyes watered. He gave it one last glance and with a final sigh, he gave his answer.

Present...

-Katsuro

The school was quite spacious, more than my initial expectations of the school. Though my expectations were given quite a low standard as the only information you could find was on a brochure. The uniform was both typical and bland in style but then again, you could just say that was due to the culture of most conformist societies. I had come a week late, which I will blame that on the consistent delays that somehow mired my flight over but at least it didn't end with a crash and my death.

Though it was nice and simply amazing that my aunt was somehow able to get all my supplies, both home and school here to which I simply just had to find my room and unpack after I finish the initial day of classes. With being late, I had settled on the unpacking later but for now I was meandering the empty halls of the third floor as I caught sight of a man wearing a dark, brown suit.

A Doctor Who fan? My first thought was as I shuffled the case I was carrying on my shoulder as he seemed to have also noticed me, waving his hand for my attention as I took that as my queue to walk towards him. Time had seem to wear on man's age, dark underlying circles laid under the eyes as wrinkles seem to slightly appear on his forehead and cheeks. Hair was a mess though... It was as if his hair had rebelled in every direction as I stopped in front of a room titled 3-3.

"Ah, you called James Callan-Cahan-Callah..." I blinked a couple of times, the broken English and the futile attempt to sound out my English last name threw me in a moment of disbelief as I brought myself back to what was called reality.

"Sorry. You can call by Katsuro Sutekina. It is much easier than trying to sound out my English name." I spoke in Japanese. The language was taught to me by my mother, a language that she said that I shouldn't lose because it was a part of 'my heritage'. Living in Canada made me believe that there was no practical reason to learn another language but that statement usually ended up with me at the end of a thick newspaper... usually written in Japanese and being berated to read it for practice.

"Ah. The name is Mutou and I will be your science teacher for this year. I heard that you have stayed ahead of the curriculum..." He continued to speak, most likely going through a prescribed list of things to say as I listened and nodded in silence. Noted that he seemed... a lot more casual than I expected out of a teacher or maybe that is what happens when you watch too many online videos about Japan.

"So... Do you wish to say something after I introduce you?" Wait. What?! I thought that was something in just the Japanese shows I watched. I could say that I wasn't a terrible public speaker but what would I say? It seemed as if my feelings plastered my face when I finally realized that Mutou was giving me that look that read: "I can guess what you are thinking".

"Ah... It's quite simple. Just say your name and a couple of things about yourself and that's about it."

Just saying a couple of things is not as simple as you think. The first thought that built in my mind as I silently nodded. A part of me didn't want to go with something vague and generic as first impressions are everything but... moving here also meant I had nothing to lose. I gave an internal sigh as I shrugged my shoulders.

"I guess I can do that much." I replied, Mutou seemingly giving a nod as he paused for a moment to clear his throat before opening the door. The classroom was visually generic, being able to be guessed as any other well-funded classroom from any school. There was your blackboard, desks that actually seemed pristine in conditions and there was a potpourri of extracurricular supplies that were strewn around in organized chaos. The only issue or I should say the elephant of the room was how the class was filled by what looks like to be varying degrees of physical disabilities.

Missing limbs were the easiest to see though I did my hardest to never stare. But the missing part of say a hand or an arm was both curious and visually jarring. You could say some were... extra large in mass to put it in a blunt way. Although the one that caught my eye the most was a girl, purple hair, seemingly doing her hardest to stay hidden. Hidden poorly behind a book that she was seemingly reading, there was a shade of red-purple that partially covered her face...

Oh... As soon as my mind clicked was also when she tentatively looked up, making the briefest of eye contact before she had also realized what I was doing. Her face splashed with fear as she threw a hand to hide the offending color on her face as I looked away, turning to the teacher instead who was nonchalantly making an introduction as I clued in.

"So please give your attention as the new student introduces themselves." Ah... So I had just made it in time to know that I was being cued to introduce myself. Well... I guess I'll try and make it interesting enough so that people got the brief jest of who I am. I cleared my throat, giving a long but silent exhale as I mentally readied myself.

"Hello My name is Katsuro Sutekina. My English name is James Callahan, so I do not mind if you call me either Katsuro or James. I was born in Canada and I have just moved to Japan so please excuse any mis-behaviors as I am still getting used to your beautiful country. I am excited to work with all of you and I hope you can take good care of me. Thank you very much!"

I finished by making a small bow, I could hear the polite applause that followed. The murmurs came along, a couple of the students had looks of intent of probing for more questions to which I did not want to answer. Mutou cleared his throat, much louder as it grabbed the attention of everyone in the room. He had also grasped the situation and stopped it with efficient speed. His appearance clearly hid his tact for reading the situation.

"Ah, we will be doing group work today." I heard him say as my heart sunk a little. Seriously? Group work wasn't a problem but similar to my adverse reaction to public speaking, I do much better alone.

"Ahh... You will be working with Hakamichi... Perfect, it also seems to be an empty seat." He pointed to two girls, one clearly with bright pink hair and the other, glasses and a darker blue hair.

It had seemed his decision was definite with no room to argue as I sighed to myself as I quietly gave a nod before making my way towards the seat. I looked over, seeing an empty seat next to the girl with the purple hair and a bit of me wanted to merely sit there but the rational side of me slapped that thought as defying the teacher is something I wasn't going to do on the first day back to school.

Sitting down, it had seemed as if I had caught the attention of the pink-haired girl as her eyes swayed and quickly narrowed as I gave a weak smile. "Sooo... You must be Hakamichi?"

With a quick zip, the pink-haired eyes turned and darted at me as she gave a quick look before a hearty... no, deafening was a better term, laugh as I had to resist the urge to cover my ears. "WAHAHA! My name is Misha! She is Hakamichi! Shicchan! Shicchan!"

Her hand pointed behind her, pointing to the quiet but observing blue-haired girl whose eyes reminded me briefly of a predator stalking its prey as her head tilted. Her oval-shaped glasses took one glance at me before she simply pivoted and faced Misha. Without saying a word, she tapped Misha's shoulder before their hands begun a dance in a rhythm of erratic movements... Oh! My brain snapped to attention as I realized why. Sign Language which meant-...

"AH! Sorry, but I forgot to properly introduce ourselves. I am Shiina Mikado. She is Hakamichi Shizune. I call her Shicchan although you should probably call her Shizune to start. Though, you can call Misha! It is a pleasure to meet you Katchan..." She trailed off as her voice projected from loud to soft with really no volume setting. Even through the glitter of happiness that lit her eyes, I winced at the nickname that she had given me as I did my best to hold my smile.

"My name is Katsuro..." I argued back, although seemingly not forcibly as she seemed to wave my comment off as Shizune seem to make some movements with her hands again at Misha.

"Right! Shizune says we should start working on the assignment now Katchan!" Misha cheerfully stated as I tried, for the next half and hour, attempted to convince Misha that my name was Katsuro...

To no avail of course...

A/N: All rights are reserved to those that originally made the story, Katawa Shoujo, and those that have sweated over it. This is both my take on the story while also using it as a platform to self-reflect and self-improve my own writing skills. Hope you enjoyed it.