This started out as a little plotbunny i abandoned a while back bc i loved the idea of what happened if henry was reincarnated too and in trying to find his ex-wives they roast the shit outta him. I couldn't find any fics like that tho, so i said screw it, guess i gotta write this myself. Originally, this was gonna be a series of connected one-shots where he bumps into each of his wives individually, but i got lazy and couldn't think of a bunch of scenarios, so it's just Anne and Catherine.

Also, the queens in this fic I've pictured as the bway queens bc a. i dont have the motivation to make this sound british-y and bc those girls deserve some love too! In all honesty tho, i gave such vague descriptions you could imagine almost any of the aragon or boleyn actresses in this.

hopefully it's okay bc i've never written for the queens before and read like three six fanfics so i might not have a proper understanding of their voices and stuff.

enjoy!


Catherine knows it's him from the moment he approaches her.

It's funny really, because never in this life had she expected to meet Henry again, her ex-husband who had screwed her over more times than she could count. After all, upon waking up hundreds of years in the future and learning she had been given a second chance at life, the last thing on her mind had been Henry. Rather, Catherine, who had been granted a chance to choose who she could be without worrying about appearances and social rules, had practically jumped with glee at the whole idea. Here she was with life telling her, "Catherine, you can be whoever you want" and she told life, "Believe me. I will," with the utmost certainty.

Once a queen held back by her husband and societal rules, she was now able to build a name for herself without Henry's name being tacked onto it. She was not the wife of Henry, not the woman he cheated on - no she was Catherine of Aragon. She made a fashion line, and once she got bored of that, moved on to something else simply because she could. It was then that she bumped into Anne, and after a bit of a bumpy start, the two had become close friends and the others followed shortly after, and the rest was history.

All in all, Catherine had completely 100 percent control over her life and was perfectly happy to never had seen Henry in real life again. She had moved on.

So, when Henry had come waltzing over to her while she sat in a coffee shop, drinking her coffee, she had been a bit surprised to see him. But, at the same time, she isn't surprised. Go figure in all this, he'd find a way to come back, and more importantly, come back crawling to her. Unfortunately for Henry, Catherine had never been a fool, and now having had all the freedom to be who she wanted to be, felt no inclination to give him anymore more than a raised eyebrow.

"Catherine," Henry breathed, hazel eyes wide.

Dressed in a slim designer suit, with thick dark hair and high cheekbones with smooth tanned skin, the Henry before her was just as charming and handsome as ever. She was fairly certain any girl would throw herself at him for even just a chance to hear Henry say their name. For Catherine though, she saw right through his expensive suit and pricey cologne and offered a polite smile.

"Henry."

"Can I sit?" He asks, gesturing to the seat across from her, and she shrugs, not picky.

While true she'd rather sit through anything than listen to her ex-husband give whatever excuses he had for finding her, Catherine didn't have anything to do at the moment, and in all honesty, she was a bit curious. Not to see if he changed - men like Henry don't just change - but how he might justify his past actions. So with a wave of her hand at the free chair, she watches him take a seat.

"Never would've thought I'd bump into you here. Must say, I am a bit surprised," she admitted.

"I didn't know you came back either. I thought I was the only one," Henry explained. "And yet, here you are, as beautiful as ever." He then flashed her a charming smile.

If Catherine were to describe that smile, she imagined it'd be one most people would describe nowadays as a thousand-watt smile. But, to her, it was as bright as an old bulb.

"Here I am," she said simply. Catherine chose not to comment on the flirtatious comment because while she could shoot back how he was definitely kinder on the eyes now than he was back then, it was easy to tell he still had the same personality: a suffocating ego and a need to be praised and appeased. So she goes with the next best thing: "How'd you find me?"

After all, it can't be a coincidence that Henry, not only being reincarnated, somehow managed to find her in one of the hundreds of coffee shops in New York.

"If you're thinking I stalked you or something here," Henry began, "it's not like that. In all honesty, stumbling upon you here in this specific coffee shop was a bit of luck on my part." He sounded honest enough, and so Catherine nodded, letting him continue. "But if you're asking why I came to find you, I saw your name. In the paper. I figured, maybe it's just a coincidence, a fashion line with your name on it, but at the same time, maybe not," Henry flashed her a dim-bulb smile, "So I took the earliest flight I could, hoping to find you. And, here we are."

Catherine gave a hum in lieu of a proper answer, sipping her coffee.

The grin on Henry's face seemed to flicker, curving downwards at the corners, hinting at a frown. "You don't seem all that happy to see me, Cath," he said, and she corrected him politely with a, "It's Catherine."

Putting her coffee down, she continued. "And I'm not, Henry. You cheated on me and treated me like shit for almost the entire time we were married. And then, I got to see how afterwards you treated my daughter and the rest of your wives just as badly. So pardon me for not flinging myself into your arms at fight sight," she explained honestly. "I can't say we ended on good terms." There was a pause, where she stared at him carefully, taking in his body language. "You came here hoping I'd be happy to see you again, didn't you?"

Henry's eyes nervously dart off to the side, looking away from her, and that's all she needed to know.

"You expected you'd be able to walk into this life of mine as well and I'd cave and smile and say I missed you my dear." Catherine snorted, watching the nervousness in his expression grow. It made her feel a smug satisfaction, watching him squirm as she saw right through his games.

"Okay, so maybe I wasn't the greatest husband. But Cath-" she gave him a stern look and he quickly amended that - "erine, dear. But I've learned I was wrong. And now I want to fix things, do it right this time," Henry told her, leaning over the table to try and take one of her hands.

Catherine just raised a brow at it all, moving away her hand from his reach. "Somehow, I'm not convinced," she said plainly, unamused. "You ruined my life once Henry, but now I have the chance to live my own life. And I have. As Catherine, not the first wife of Henry the eighth. There's no pressure for me to be someone, to get married and be the queen. Not even to give you a male heir - which, I still adore the fact that of your three children, your two daughters were the ones to hold the throne the longest, especially Elizabeth. Not that I have an ill will against Edward, he was a sweet boy who didn't deserve his fate, mind you," she told him. Looking at the man who had once ruined her life, she told him, "I get to do whatever the hell I want and not be fixed as one of six, as my dear friend says.

"Why on earth would I ever give that up? Especially to a man like you?"

Henry stutters and stammers, trying to come up with something, anything to say to respond to that and finally when he opens his mouth, he's interrupted by a clearing of a throat.

"Somehow when you gave me a whole lecture last week about proper time management I didn't expect it to be having coffee with a friend at the same coffee shop right after a date with a guy."

They both turn their heads to look at the speaker, who is dressed in a dark green cashmere sweater with a pair of ripped jeans, and a green choker with the letter B hanging off it. "Look mate, you're in my seat. Regardless of what all this is," she adds and Catherine rolls her eyes.

"This is not a date, Anne."

"Seems to me like one," Anne retorts back, but there's no heat in it. Just playful banter. "Didn't think this would be your type."

"Technically, he was all of our types, in some weird way," Catherine mutters, half under her breath, and Anne gives her a look, clearing having heard her.

"What the hell are you on about, mate?"

Henry looks between the two of them,confused. "I'm sorry but did we ever meet?" He asked, politely, giving her one of those smiles you give to someone who you think you might've met before but can't remember their name.

Anne, in turn, gives him a quick glance before scoffing.

"Doubt it." Turning to look back at Catherine, she continued, "Look, if you're busy we can have coffee another day. Kitty -"

"I'm Henry," Henry interrupts and Anne pauses to glance at him again, raising a brow.

"How lovely," Anne deadpans. She then opens her mouth to continue, pausing with a frown. "Wait, is he…?"

Catherine nodded and Anne reached over for a chair at the table beside them, dragging it over to sit in.

"Ooh well this just suddenly got interesting. Where the hell'd you find him?"

Catherine sipped her drink, moving her laptop to her messenger bag to give Anne some table space. "Just walked up to me while I was here."

"The others are not going to believe this!" Anne exclaimed, reaching to pull out her phone but Catherine put a hand on her wrist, stopping her.

"Perhaps tell them not over text?" She suggested and Anne gave her a look before shrugging.

"Fine. But if they get pissed for not knowing sooner, I'm sicc'ing them on you," the other woman said.

During this whole exchange, Henry had been looking from one woman to the other, trying to piece together what was happening. "Sorry, are you implying I knew you as well? Before?" He asked Anne, stressing the word Before with such capitalization that it was obvious he meant their previous life, not the current one they were living.

Anne smirked. "Oh I'd say you knew me more than a bit," she shot back. "Think biblically even," Anne purred, leaning in close. She didn't care for how inappropriate that was, eyes lit up with mischief.

Henry blushed darkly, and Catherine smacked Anne on the shoulder. "Anne!" She hissed, only marginally grateful she hadn't taken a sip of her coffee because she was certain if she had, she would've either choked or spit it back out onto the table. "I am not about to get kicked out of a coffee shop because you don't have a filter!"

Anne rolled her eyes. "One, he asked. I was just giving an answer -"

"The first part was fine enough," Catherine retorted and Anne plowed on, ignoring the interruption.

"-and two, it takes a hell of a lot more to get kicked out of a coffee shop than just implying you had sex with a guy before," she finished.

"Of course you know that," was the reply she got, said under Catherine's breath.

Henry gave her a charming smile, blush still colouring his cheeks and ears. "Unfortunately, you must forgive me, but I knew quite a few Annes," he confessed, as if trying to sound apologetic.

Anne hummed, not at all offended by that. "You flatterer," she cooed sweetly, batting her eyelashes. "And how many did you behead, Henry dear?"

His face went a bit pale, eyes widening as it all clicked into place. Before he could give a response Anne continued.

"Hurt like a bitch, by the way. But what did men back then know about caring about a woman's comfort and needs?" Anne joked, directing the second half at Catherine who snorted, but nodded in agreement.

She did, afterall, have a point, Catherine mused.

"I, uh, well," he stuttered, trying to form a coherent sentence and both women just waited, giving him twin looks of amusement. He swallowed and awkwardly drummed his fingers against the table top, hoping either of his ex-wives would say something. When neither did, choosing instead to watch him gleefully flail in discomfort, he said, "So, uh, you two are friends now?"

Henry tried to keep his tone light and casual, his body language suggesting anything but.

"Oh best of friends, aren't we Anne?" Catherine replied, glancing at the shorter woman who nodded.

"Once we sat down and talked, we realized it was silly to hate each other when all of our problems all boiled down to one single thing: you," Anne added.

He blinked. "Oh," was all he said, and suddenly the charming persona he had had walking into the coffee shop was gone. The man across from them wasn't this suave, handsome man here trying to chat up his ex-wives but a man who had fucked up more than once. And that, without his two ex-wives pitted against each other, they were suddenly a force to be reckoned with, especially now in the twenty-first century.

Anne shoots him an unimpressed look before glancing at Catherine. "Can I borrow your card for a drink? I'll grab you your usual as well," she adds the other woman, as if to convince Catherine it's not a bad idea to hand over her credit card to Anne.

Catherine nods and pulls it out from her wallet, handing the piece of plastic over.

Under any other circumstance she would tell her hell no, you have your own money and I don't want to be complicit in whatever you're doing but she knows Anne can't do that much damage in the coffee shop. Besides, seeing them being so comfortable with each other makes Henry squirm even more and she'd gladly pay money to make Henry as uncomfortable as possible.

So, while Anne walks over to the barista, Catherine focuses back on Henry.

"Now, Henry, as much as I can lie and say it was nice to see you again, I want to make one thing clear: don't ever show your face to me again. Or Anne, or any of the others because none of us will be happy to see you again. Yes, even Jane," she added when she caught Henry opening his mouth to interject. "We've all had enough of you for one lifetime, and now it'd be nice to not have to deal with you in this one."

"That hardly seems fair," Henry began, it coming out almost like a whine.

"I don't care," she said with a shrug. "So while I'd love to watch the other girls give you a piece of their mind, because believe me, that would be oh so amusing, you don't deserve that type of attention anymore." Catherine then rose from her chair, grabbing her bag. "Goodbye and good riddance," she said in a sing-song voice.

Anne, who had just returned with two drinks in her hand, asked, "Ready to head out?"

Catherine nodded, taking her drink from Anne's hand and the two walked out, Anne flipped him off and blew a cartoonish air kiss. When Catherine raised a brow in a silent question, Anne gave a half shrug.

"I've been wanting to do that for years, never would've thought I'd have the chance," she said simply and Catherine laughed.

Linking arms with Anne, she couldn't help but agree. After all it had been far too much fun shutting Henry down like that and being able to tell him everything she's held onto for ages to his face.

"Now let's just hope whatever brain cells Henry has in that head of his have told him to leave."

Catherine could sense there was more to that, and she tilted her head, the silent question of why evident in her expression.

"Let's just say I might've shared our discovery with the others and Cathy is ten minutes away," Anne added cheerfully and Catherine rolled her eyes fondly, having expected Anne to do something like that.

"Shame then that he won't be gone before then. Lord knows he's got nothing going for him beyond those looks."

That comment made Anne throw back her head, cackling with delight, and even Catherine joined in, laughing too.

"You are absolutely right," Anne choked out as her laughs subsided into giggles. "I can't wait to see Cathy destroy him. It'll be legendary."


im sorry if the ending sounds disjointed i had literally no idea how to end this. everytime it kept feeling like something was missing to tie it up neatly and it just kept getting longer and longer so i just stopped? I do love the idea of Catherine and Anne's friendship and wanted to make Anne less chaotic gremlin that i've seen her portrayed as so often in the fandom, using elements of her portrayal in other pieces of media bc she was actually p smart and shit and I felt not including that was a disservice to the character. Also while im not sure how one can get kicked out of a coffee shop, Anne def seems like the person who would know from personal experience tbh.

let me know what you thought in the comments!

-twist