A courtier enters Whitehall and sniffs in contempt. His tiny alter ego snorts. "Tudor court is a court under henry viii in which you play as a puppet, usually prepubescent, dressed up in tight green dresses. Considered a masterpiece, this court has spawned an endless stream of unnecessary drama, all of which have spawned an endless stream of old memes," his alter ego says.

He sees Mary Tudor come to court. "Our valiant princess hero. Throughout the court, Mary is surrounded by nasty bitches, nasty men, damsels in distress, female townsfolk, and she gets enslaved by a stanky queen. Despite this, not once at any time in Hatfield does she show any attraction towards any of the aforementioned men. The only relationship that Mary ever has in England is with two Philip, and most times that's for marriage contracts, and ONE stronger desire for a family of her own, but it was behind curtains, sadly. Some argue that it's because Mary is an upstanding relgious figure, but really it's because Mary hasn't met the right man yet," his alter ego says.

He sees Anne Boleyn leave with the guards. "The ill fated Queen of England and the dumb cow none of he family rescued at any time. She should start new drama because all her drama is revolves around c-*-c-k blocking the king. The wives is remembered by her despite the fact all she does is get her a double s in drama every situation she's in, usually by mistresses, not to mention that she is always the queen that gets the least number of supporters. The Queen of HS drama would be more accurate. Attempting to make her look like a strong, independent queen is usually a big waste of time on the simps' part: in May day and feast of saints she can apparently turn into a man/the kings self appointed councilor, but this never helps anyone and she gets yelled at and makes Henry colder to her anyway. In The next year, she possesses the helpful force-a prince-but gets a miscarriage anyway. Holds the wisdom, meaning all she does is speak in jealous riddles instead of managing to birth the damn prince. She is decent at yapping about Lutheran works," his alter ego says.

He glances up at the king. "Henry aka the king - A English God appointed head of church slash selfish monster and antagonist of most of his reign. In the beginninf, he was as tall as a thr bible giants with a tennis physic; in the middle of his reign Anne made him a fat despot. Has a cult following of killer word councilora to help him ruin th le counrry. Due to this his orientation remains ambiguous due to the fact it's common knowledge that any guy with an army of power hungry whiners would be more interested in making them fat than rule shit. Holds Calais, which isn't saying much considering battles against him are horribly easy," his alter ego says.