Author's Note: Hello my beautiful readers. While I keep you waiting for the next installment of "Diamond Blue and Cinnamon Gold", I figured I could sweeten your waiting time with some other reading material. This is a writing challenge I did in April this year (2021) on tumblr, where I had 30 title prompts to which I wrote something each day.

Technically, nothing new if you have already read them on tumblr, but Ao3 allows me to bring some order into them, and to group them under a few headings. All the stories are standalone pieces, but there is the odd one out that was definitely and unintentionally inspired by another. What else? Since this was an exercise for me to write something every day, these ficlets have only been proofread and edited by me. No beta reader, so apologies for any typos, incongruences and general oddness. It's Wee's weirdness. Raw and unfiltered. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Eoin Colfer owns all the characters from Artemis Fowl, I only own my imagination and the characters I have created, such as my darling Dr Sofia Massetti.


The LEP

wind.

Captain Julius Root was about to get himself promoted. He didn't know that yet. Otherwise, he might have decided to not give his very best on this occasion.

Zipping through the crisp night air of France, he scanned the trenches underneath him.

"Check in," he muttered into his mic.

His colleagues answered, all in the negative.

Julius gritted his teeth. They still hadn't located the runner, a criminal dwarf. He checked the time. Two hours until dawn and knowing the Mud People, they could start their attacks any minute now. The confrontations had only increased over the last few weeks. They always did in the end.

"Captain," Corporal Potts' voice crackled in the earpiece. "Possible match. 3 o'clock."

Julius lowered himself several feet, getting closer to the spot his corporal had pointed out. A small figure was trying to free his leg out of a snare. Bingo. Julius grinned.

"Well done, Corporal. Let's get him out of here and below ground, before the Mud Men bash in their heads aga-"

"Sir," Corporal Potts said, his voice hesitant. "We have a problem."

Julius cursed.

Alarmed by the movements around the snare, two dogs had come closer, sniffing the ground. There was no way they could mindwipe the Mud Men in the middle of a battlefield, if they discovered the dwarf.

Julius unsheathed his blaster.

"Cover me," he growled and swooped down.


thousand.

Holly kept close to the wall. She crossed her arms. And uncrossed them. She pushed her hands into her pockets. And pulled them out again. In the end, she placed them behind her back. She had seen that in a movie once. This seemed to be a moment for such a power stance.

A stocky elf and a sprite passed her.

"The flying instructor is a real babe, I've heard. She'll be like butter in my hands, if you know what I mean, Kelp," the sprite said, nudging his companion in the side.

Before he could go into any detail on how he was planning to do that, though, a bell signalled the candidates that the assembly was about to start.

Holly hurried after the odd pair, lining up in rank and file next to the sprite. Not a second later, Wing Commander Vinyáya strode onto the platform. She let her eyes wander over the crowd.

"Welcome to your training, cadets," she said, a sour smile on her face. "I'll make this short as most of you won't make it past the next few weeks, anyway."

The sprite next to Holly swallowed.

Vinyáya threw a look at the agenda and made a disapproving sound.

"They asked me to tell you something inspirational, so… ask yourself if you have what it takes to become part of the LEP. Don't worry. You don't have to answer the question just yet," Vinyáya said, her smile turning almost sardonic.

"I'll find out for you."


beginning.

Commander Julius Root opened his eyes, which was unexpected, considering that he had died in an explosion just a few minutes ago. He sat up, reaching for the cigar in his breast pocket. It wasn't there. Root groaned.

A sprite hurried over to him. "Excuse me, hi. Welcome to the afterlife. Do you have an orange, blue, red or yellow pass?"

Root blinked and looked at the card he held in his hand. It was green.

The sprite wrung her hands, reciting her rehearsed speech. "If you have an orange–"

"Silence," Root barked. "Are you in charge here?"

The sprite shook her head and turned to a ticket desk, overcrowded with a horde of fairies. "No, I only tell the newcomers about the different passes. The orange–"

Root left the sprite and shoved his way through to the gremlin behind the counter. He ignored the shouts of protests behind him.

The gremlin looked up from a bundle of papers, his lip quivering.

"Do you have an orange–," he began, but Root interrupted him.

"No, I don't have an orange pass," he growled. "What's their purpose, anyway?"

The gremlin shrugged. "I am only supposed to ask if you have an orange–"

Root turned to the crowd.

"Listen up, everybody. I am Commander Root of the LEP, and I want you all to form an orderly line. Now!"

The fairies immediately scrambled to follow the orders. Root turned to the gremlin and took the paper bundle from his hands.

"Get me a cigar and sim coffee. I'm taking over."


accusation.

Holly took a breath. She was ready. The Council Members stared at her like one big, unblinking eye. She gave everyone a curt nod. Then her gaze fell on Vinyáya and her confidence crumbled. The wing commander smiled. Her teeth flashed. Cold. It should have been you.

Vinyáya's hands clawed into the armrests, her jaw tight. She had to remember to breathe. In. Out. Focus. She gave Holly an encouraging smile. Praying this would be over soon. Someone called out her name. Not him. Never again. Her smile became strained. What a travesty. And then. It should have been me.


winter.

Holly held out a hand. A single snowflake landed on her golden-brown skin before it melted. She clenched her eyes shut. Remembering his snarky laugh. Had he ever laughed? She couldn't remember anymore. Maybe it had been more of a chuckle?

Her communicator beeped. Trouble squeezed her hand. It was time.

Holly opened her eyes, about to leave, when a flash of colour caught her attention. She picked up an orange rose petal, buried underneath the snow. And for a second, she could have sworn that he was with them.

Pocketing the petal, Holly gave Trouble a nod. They left.


transformation.

Foaly, Technical Consultant of LEP Section Eight, clip-clopped into his flat. His son came galloping to greet him.

"That's nice," Foaly murmured. "Sorry, I really need to send this mail off. I'll be with you in half an hour."

Trotting into his study, Foaly closed the door behind him and turned the key. Twice.

He closed the blinds and turned to his desk. Pulling open a drawer, he threw one last look over his shoulder. Only then did he reach in and pulled out his tinfoil hat.

The familiar material slipped snuggly over his forehead.

Closing his eyes, Foaly let out an exhausted sigh and sank into his swivel chair. He was home.


promise.

Holly and Artemis huddled on the small hill, completely at her mercy. Opal smirked.

"Are you scared, yet?" she asked, examining her perfectly manicured nails, while the water kept rising.

"I'd be willing to let you live," she said, an indulgent smile playing on her lips. "All you have to do is swear your loyalty to me."

"Never!"

Opal sighed, before a mad grin spread on her face.

"As you wish. Die!"

A sudden wave swept her two prisoners off the mound. They sank to the bottom of their wet grave. Opal cackled.

The door opened, and Doctor Argon entered.

"How are we feeling today, Miss Koboi? Are the, uh, cocoa puffs to your liking?"

Opal spooned more milk over the drowning cereal. She smiled.

"They are splendid."


letters.

Grub chewed on his pencil, the shuttle shaking its passengers from side to side.

"Monster; took out an entire Retrieval Squad. Six letters, ends with an 'r'. Trubs?"

Captain Trouble Kelp stared ahead. His mouth was set in a hard line. He had to use all his self-discipline to not rip the paper from his little brother's hand.

Keep it together, Trouble. What will your colleagues think?

"Can you please behave yourself?" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"So, you don't know. Just say so," Grub huffed and turned to the next line. He scribbled the answer down, returning to the unsolvable question.

"Third letter is a 't' and last one is an 'r'. Butter? No, that can't be right. Potter? Zither?"

"If you don't put this paper away, I swear by the Gods-"

The speakers came to life before Trouble could finish the sentence.

"ETA fifteen minutes. Get ready for landing."

Grub let out a disappointed sigh. He wouldn't be able to focus on the mission until he had solved that riddle. He knew it. Trouble knew it too.

"It's 'Butler'," Trouble said, rolling his eyes as his brother's face lit up.

Grub finished his crossword in time.


future.

Holly pushed the last box into the hall, dusting off her hands.

"You really don't have a lot of stuff, Trubs," she called out, scrutinising his boxes lined up on one side versus hers on the other.

Trouble walked into the living room, two bottles of sim beer balancing on the pizza cartons in his hands.

"That's because Grub stole everything I ever owned. He even opened my minted edition action figures."

Seeing her blank expression, he added, "To play with them!"

"You poor baby."

Holly rolled her eyes. She plugged the TV in and curled up next to him on the couch.

"What are you collecting? Apart from all the investigations the Council has launched against you?"

Holly snickered and bit into her garlic pizza bread. Trouble nudged her in the side.

"I will find out anyway, so better tell me now. Are you one of those crazy rock collectors?"

Holly swallowed and bit her lip. Trouble groaned.

"It's illegal, isn't it? Of course, it is. Please tell me, you aren't keeping the Mud Boy in one of the boxes."

"It's not that bad," Holly said, got up, and rummaged through one box. She pulled out a small casket and opened it for him to see.

Trouble blinked. "Shells?"

"Listen," she said, and held one to his ear. He frowned, the tips of his ears quivering ever so lightly. Then his eyes went wide.

"That's the sea! How is that possible?"

"Magic."

Trouble took the shell, completely enthralled. Holly took a sip of her beer, watching him. After a moment, she huffed.

"Am I under arrest, Major?"

He grinned, letting the seashell drop into his lap. "I might let you get off the hook, Captain, but it'll cost you."

Holly's eyes twinkled.

"Oh yeah? Hang on. Let me have some more of this really delicious garlic bread."

Trouble laughed and pulled her close.


A/N: So, this was one of the main groups I seemed to have been inspired by in April. I hope you enjoyed some or maybe all of them? Next up, the Butlers. I'll try to put that chapter up tonight, but there are a few more notes, I am trying to figure out where to place them, haha. Please be patient with me.