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Chapter Three

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Outpost X11, Planet Aridia

Upon receiving the infobot coordinates from both the Plumber and Buckwash, Ratchet and company had two destinations to travel to. The Plumber's infobot provided knowledge that Buckwash's nephew and pro hoverboarder, Skidd McMarx, along with his agent, had crash landed on the desert planet Aridia for reasons they could not tell at the moment which worried the Novalis Chairman until Talwyn assured him that she and her friends would check up on Skidd themselves before anything else. Once relieved, Buckwash then had his infobot display a rather out of whack commercial which at least clued the unlikely heroes that Captain Qwark's latest location was on the urbanized planet of Kerwan.

Traveling to Aridia first, the Aphelion landed outside Outpost X11, a compound that was still under construction, and once Ratchet, Clank, and Talwyn got out, she informed the trio. "My sensors indicate that the Solarship Radical as well as an escape pod are in a muddy area south from here while another pod is near the outpost's cannon."

"Speaking of the cannon, any particular reason why it didn't fire on us when we were approaching the planet?" Clank inputted with caution in his voice. "Or why it fired on the Radical in the first place? This outpost doesn't appear to have anything Drek Industries-related, but one could never be too careful."

Taking out a pair of binoculars, Talwyn surveyed the outpost for any signs of activity before she then saw robots fitted for construction work and armed with flamethrowers patrolling about. "I'm seeing Constructorbots sporting classic flamethrowers, but no organic workers at all." She told the three before lowering her binoculars. "It looks like whoever is responsible for building this sandpit figured that their machines could do all the work for them."

"That goes a long way of answering Clank's questions then, Tal." Ratchet said with a nod and added. "With no flesh and blood supervisors, and who knows how long the bots have been here, it would've only been a matter of time before they start malfunctioning."

Clank hummed in thought at that. "A bit of an easy explanation, Ratchet, but one I'll accept. All the same, that means we'll have to deal with the Constructorbots on our way to recover Misters McMarx and Wonderstar."

"Not to mention the Sandsharks native to this planet." Aphelion said. "According to my sensors and what information that we were given about Aridia, they're arguably nastier than Drophyds, if only because they have razor sharp teeth to go with their fierce tempers."

"That's comforting to know, old girl." Ratchet remarked without humor. Sighing tiredly, he placed Clank on his back like before on Novalis and turned to Talwyn suggesting. "You take the pod near the cannon while we look over "Sandshark Valley"?"

Talwyn was about to respond when the Aphelion interjected. "Actually, Ratchet, considering the possibility that the outpost may have something useful in it, and that I can easily look for one of the Rilgarians myself, please allow me to check the cannon area while Talwyn explores the construction site for anything good."

Before Ratchet could comment, Talwyn smirked in anticipation as she had her laser pistol out and activated her jetpack. "Sounds good to me. Good luck with the Sandsharks, guys!" With Talwyn flying away towards the outpost followed by their self-aware ship moving towards the cannon, Ratchet and Clank were left to check the Sandshark infestation."

Hearing the former groan, Clank asked. "Are you worried for the others?"

Holding his OmniWrench 8000 tight, Ratchet replied. "Honestly, I just wish that I thought of Aphelion's idea first before she and Talwyn acted on it. I don't know about you, but I do not like the idea of being Sandshark bait."

"Fair enough."

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At the Solarship Radical's Crash Site, Later

In spite of the heavy Sandshark presence, Ratchet and Clank were able to make their way to the escape pod where they found Skidd alive, if a bit insecure over the local wildlife, followed by directing him back to where the Radical crashed which was thankfully not beyond repair. While Ratchet gave the ship a look over to make sure Skidd and his colleague could leave on their own, it was only a matter of time before Talwyn came their way on her jetpack with a device called a Trespasser in her hands followed by the Aphelion who had a temporary passenger of her own.

Upon seeing who it was coming of the Lombax fighter, Skidd perked up with a wave of his hand. "Don! Good to see you're still kicking, dude!"

The other Rilgarian, Don Wonderstar, grumbled to himself as he pointed a finger at his client in annoyance. "Don't start with me, Skidd. This dump of a planet has not been kind to me at all."

While the three rescuers that weren't self-aware ships shook their heads unamused by Don's attitude, Skidd ignored the man's negativity to continue being optimistic. "It's fine now, my man. Thanks to our savoring peeps, we'll be back to civilization whenever we feel like it." Turning to Ratchet with a meaningful look, he then said. "Although, I'm not feeling like doing the big race back home this time."

Don's eyes widened shocked and in dismay. "What? Why not? You don't look injured!"

"No, but I saw the cool fur dude's moves, and I think he'd do great in Blackwater City."

His attention grabbed by Skidd's words about him, Ratchet gestured to himself surprised. "Me? In a hoverboard race? Don't get the wrong idea, Skidd, that sounds pretty cool, but we're kind of busy and I don't even have a hoverboard."

Skidd's response was to present a hoverboard of his own before handing it to the Lombax. "You do now, bro. That Z3000 is yours to keep, even if you don't race. It's your choice and I'll respect it."

Ratchet and his friends could not help but brighten up to the slang speaking hoverboarder with Talwyn saying on their behalf. "Huh, you're not so bad, Skidd. I'm honestly beginning to like you."

"Same here." Clank opinioned.

"Yeah, thanks, pal." Ratchet said as he studied his gift.

At the group's honest praise and gratitude, Skidd bashfully scratched the back of his neck as he replied. "Yeah, well, I always did tell people I was cool like that." Turning to a facepalming Don, he then elbowed him to add. "Don, you should give them something, too."

"What, like a contract deal should the kid be a better racer than you?"

"I mean, your Sonic Summoner right here, right now."

"Skidd!"

"Don, they saved both our butts from an early and horrible death, which I'm sure neither of us deserve. So come on, bro."

Although scandalized, Don ultimately exhaled in defeat before handing out his gadget to Clank who held it. "Well, if everyone's happy now, I'd like to leave now." He said grumpily.

Turning away from his agent to look at the outpost, Skidd replied. "In a minute, buddy. I want to look at this view for a bit longer, though."

"You're not telling me you're planning on living here, are you?" Don groused out, and even Ratchet and his party could not help but wonder what Skidd was thinking then.

The "hip" Rilgarian shook his head no while saying. "Don't be crazy, Don. I'm talking about building a shack, not a house."

In confusion, Clank raised his hand to ask. "Uh, isn't a "shack" functionally the same thing as a "house", sir?"

Turning back with what some could describe as a visionary look, Skidd explained. "I mean a Sports Shack, little robo dude. A kind of store where any good sporting types could buy what they need and want whenever they're there." His gaze directed back at the outpost in the distance, he went on to say. "Trust me, with the right amount to buy of this place followed by the right gear and people to set it up, and it'll be the stuff dreams are made of." Sighing in wonder, he concluded. "I can just see it now."

Palming his own face with a loud smack, Don ranted. "Unbelievable! McMarx, you've got to be the only man in the universe who can find inspiration in a total disaster!"

"He says that now." Talwyn quipped with a smile much to Don's annoyance and everyone else's amusement.

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Start of the Captain Qwark Fitness Course, Metropolis, Planet Kerwan

Having parted ways with the Radical under the belief that its passengers would take care of themselves, Ratchet, Clank, and Talwyn rode in the Aphelion before finding a landing pad on Kerwan's capital of Metropolis. While the sights were amazing yet overwhelming, the trio were surprised to see a light Blargian presence on the planet, presumably there to cause trouble for them, yet with their teamwork and weapons, Ratchet and Talwyn, with Clank on the former's back, were able to deal with both the canine-type Robomutts and their muscular Blarg commanders while on their way to the roboshack Qwark advertised in that commercial they watched on Novalis.

During the exploration, Talwyn was surprised to see what looked like the Captain himself while she was flying with her jetpack, and led the guys to what she saw until she and Ratchet casted dry looks on the robot in Qwark's image with a spring for legs advertising the nearby fitness course. While she and Ratchet exchanged unimpressed faces, however, Clank approached the robot cautiously before ultimately saying.

"Not that the challenge doesn't sound interesting, Captain, but we'd like to talk to you about the threat that the Blarg now pose to the galaxy." Looking both left and right, he then whispered. "And how you're apparently connected to them."

While Clank's friends looked in surprise at what they were seeing and hearing, he waited for the "Captain" to respond before it began to rehearse its lines much to Clank's shock before he then came to a rather unlikable realization.

Turning to an amused Talwyn and a Ratchet struggling to hold back a laugh, Clank said in his embarrassment. "I was talking to a robot with limited programming, wasn't I?"

Comforting the smaller robot with her hand on his head, Talwyn said. "Better luck next time, buddy."

With his throat cleared, Ratchet then speculated. "Still, could there be a chance that Qwark's trainer can tell us where he is?"

With a shrug, Talwyn replied. "Well, it's worth a shot. You guys take the course for whatever prize there is to earn, and I'll see if I can meet them with my jetpack."

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At the End of the Fitness Course

Having used all of his athletic experience that came with living on a wild planet like Sargasso while carrying Clank on his back, Ratchet was able to complete the course in only one minute and arrived to see an awkward-looking Talwyn being glared at by a robotic coach wearing Qwark's logo on her shirt and while her build type could be compared to an overweight woman, the Lombax recognized the latter as a Valkyrie, which implied that she was best left non-underestimated.

"Uh, Talwyn?' Clank inputted first upon getting on his feet. "Do I dare ask if there's something wrong?"

The Markazian nervously glanced him before replying. "I don't know! As soon as I flew over here, she's been glaring at me like I'm a cockroach or something!"

The Valkyrie made a throat-clearing sound to get everyone's attention before speaking with a rough and uncertain accent. "It's nothing personal, fraulein, but I've always been under the impression that fancy gadgets for flight and swinging can only go so far. The problem with cities like Metropolis is that they tend to soften the mind and weaken the body, and seeing you having the audacity to cheat your way through my obstacle course with a jetpack of all things just grates my mechanical nerves!"

Smiling sheepishly, Talwyn raised a finger to ask. "Would it help if I said it wasn't my intention to take the course?"

The Valkyrie scoffed in dismissal before turning to a sweating Ratchet upon whom her expression brightened up. "You, however, surpassed my challenge in under seventy seconds with nothing but sheer skill! I dare say you were close to breaking Captain Qwark's own record!"

Relaxing at the Valkyrie's pleased view of him, Ratchet remarked. "Huh, well, maybe I should take it again at some point to beat his record."

The Valkyrie laughed merrily at Ratchet's response before holding him up in her arms. "I like your attitude, mein friend! Helga von Streissenburgen is impressed by your guts!"

Much to Ratchet's displeasure and Clank and Talwyn's entertainment, Helga then began to kiss the Lombax from cheek to forehead repeatedly before laying him down on the ground.

Adopting a more professional expression, Helga then took out a wrist-mounted grapple hook known as the Swingshot and handed it over to Ratchet, who was slowly recovering from the recent experience. "Here is your reward, brave young man. Even though, I doubt you'll need it."

Smiling back after adjusting the Swingshot on his wrist, Ratchet said. "Trust me, if there were more places that had vines like Sargasso does, I definitely would follow up on your advice."

Sighing in defeat, Helga replied. "Ja, I suppose that is true. Just another part of Kerwan I do not like." Her interest then piqued when she realized what exactly Ratchet said. "Wait, you're from Sargasso? In the Polaris Galaxy?"

Feeling better to add in on the conversation, Talwyn nodded. "I'm from Polaris, too. And it's pretty clear to us that you're a Valkyrie."

"A Valkyrie?" Clank wondered at the new term, prompting Ratchet to go into detail.

"Robot warriors that could give even the Space Pirates of Polaris a run for their bolts."

Clank then looked at Helga in mounting worry as he turned back to his friends before ultimately asking, even if unintentionally aloud. "Does that mean Helga is a former criminal that Captain Qwark confronted, defeated, and then reformed in that order?"

Laughing once more in good humor, Helga shook her head in the negative as she answered. "Oh, no, mein tiny friend! While that does have the makings of action-packed romances, I found my way to this planet in this galaxy after mein people were scattered across the universe, where I found a legit line of work and met the Captain under normal circumstances."

With Clank relaxing at the knowledge that Helga was not a potential threat, Ratchet decided to ask her. "Do you know where we can find Captain Qwark, if he's still on planet?" At Helga's questioning gaze, he added. "We're not stalkers in any way, but we saw a commercial of him and that robot guy being filmed here, and we could use his help with the whole Blarg mess as I'm sure you noticed."

Helga's expression turned downcast with another sigh as she answered. "I'm afraid he already left as soon as he and Al finished their endorsement deal. These days, he hardly tells me where he's going, and I have to look at the news to see what he's up to whether it's truly saving people in distress, working with sponsors, or trying and failing to get Courtney Gears' phone number." Seeing the three unsatisfied by her response, she then said. "Still, I'm sure he's forming an uber plan with the Government to deal with those Blarg nuisances, so don't worry."

Seeing that Helga truly cared for Qwark, who may have betrayed the entire galaxy for his own gain as far as they knew, Talwyn turned her eyes towards her equally uneasy friends before she ultimately asked. "Helga, I don't mean to pry, but can you tell us what kind of person Captain Qwark is on a personal level?"

Folding her arms, Helga replied. "Copernicus L. Qwark is the stuff of self-important fools. There are times where he's being too dishonest, overconfident, and greedy for his own good." She then chuckled warmly as she then said. "However, no matter his mistakes or how they may affect others, his desire to be a hero, to always be there when it matters most, remains unshakeable. I know this all sounds confusing, but I'm proud to call him mein friend." With the trio smiling at her improved outlook, Helga then jumped on a nearby hover taxi while waving towards them. "Well, that's all for now! Auf Wiedersehen!"

Waving goodbye to her back alongside the others, Ratchet commented. "You know, for a Valkyrie coach, she's not so bad."

"Should that be concerning to you, Talwyn?" Clank asked teasingly which elicited a loud groan from the Markazian.

Ratchet, however, turned to the robot to say. "Okay, you keep that up, and I'll ask Helga to kiss you on the mouth plate the next time we see her."

"Shutting up." Clank yelped in fear.

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Big Al's Roboshack

Having acquired the Swingshot, Ratchet and Clank then split up from Talwyn to look for Qwark's equipment repairer, Big Al, while she opted to separately explore the city on her jetpack to look for any available information. Although Al lacked knowledge of Qwark's whereabouts when the duo made it to his roboshack, he was happy to grant Clank a Heli-Pack upgrade for a thousand bolts upon seeing that he was compatible for it.

Upon the quick installment, Ratchet looked upon Clank's new propellers with a wide grin. "You're the man, Clank!" Turning to Al, he added. "You did good, too, Al."

"You're welcome!" Al remarked, pleased by the sincere appreciation.

With Clank back on Ratchet's back, he added. "For what it's worth, I think you would've presented your business perfectly without the Captain butting in."

Scratching his chin in contemplation, Al commented. "Ah, debatable. I was a bit camera shy at the time. And either way, no matter how big Captain Qwark's ego can be, he'll always be the hero I look up to. See you later!"

With nothing else to say, the duo left Al's shop and soon enough met by Talwyn outside who landed in front of them with an infobot in her hand. "Well, guys, I got good news and bad news."

"What's the good news, then?" Clank asked.

With a smirk, Talwyn explained. "The good news is that I learned that Drek sent a Lieutenant of his to Eudora, and I can think we persuade him to tell us whatever he knows." She then frowned in concern mixed with anger. "The bad news is that he's deforesting the entire planet as we speak."

Undaunted, Ratchet then confidently exclaimed. "Then let's go un-deforest it!" Seeing Talwyn's unimpressed reaction and having a feeling that Clank was also unimpressed, the Lombax had his hand on his head in embarrassment. "Yeah, I should've worked on that better."

"Let it never be said that proper as well as memorable one-liners are easy to achieve." Clank remarked in a fortune cookie kind of way that made Talwyn laugh.

"Very funny, pal." Remarked Ratchet dryly.

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Felt prompted to add on to what I wrote, even if it does not have a lot of detailed action that I know some readers might like.