This is a complementary story to "Love Unspoken" (mainly because they both follow the same version of my head canon) but they can be read completely independently of each other.


Chapter One

"Keep going," she told herself. "One foot in front of the other. Don't look back."

She fought back the tears, she could feel his eyes upon her as she walked away. Her grip tightened on her suitcase handle as she focused on the entrance in front of her. She desperately wanted to turn around, run into his arms and never leave. Instead she continued up the path, under the archway and through the open door within. Only when she was sure she was out of his sight did she allow a sob to escape and a tear to fall. The sound of purposeful footsteps approaching down the tiled hallway caused her to take a deep breath and dash away the tear with the back of her hand.

"Sister Bernadette? Welcome to St Anne's. I hope you haven't been waiting long, we didn't see you arrive. Are you alone? I presume you didn't materialise out of thin air?" The nurse greeted her with a cheery grin.

"Thank you, I've only been here a moment. Doctor Turner drove me but he had to get back to his patients."

"Well let's get you settled. I'm Nurse Peters. I'll show you to your room, give you some time to unpack and then one of the doctors will be along to see you. This way." The cheerful nurse took the suitcase and set off towards the stairs leaving Sister Bernadette to follow in her wake.


A few minutes later she was alone once more surveying the room that was to be hers for the next... how long? Weeks? Months? Years? Certainly it would be many weeks, the triple treatment could be miraculous but it was far from instantaneous. How long would it be before she returned to Nonnatus House, to her Sisters, to her work, to...? She forced her mind away from that train of thought, afraid of the direction it was taking and took in her surroundings. Yellow curtains pulled back from large windows that overlooked manicured lawns and immaculate flowerbeds, bold wallpaper covered in large yellow flowers, a bed, a wardrobe, a sink in the corner with a mirror above that reflected light from the windows adding to the brightness of the room. The paintwork was scratched in places, the wooden furniture a little shabby but it was worlds away from her small, dull cell, she wished she was of a mind to enjoy it but the light and sunshine made little impact on the shadows inside her head.

Sighing she turned to the task at hand and snapped open the suitcase resting on the bed. It was quickly emptied. Her spare tunic and scapular hung in the wardrobe. Toothbrush, paste and washcloth were placed by the sink, prayer book and bible by the bed. She slipped out of her clothes and into her nightgown. She hung the tunic and scapular beside their twins in the wardrobe, placed her guimpe and veil in a drawer together with her white rope cincture. She ran her hand over the familiar three knots, tied on the day she took her final vows, symbolising her promise of poverty, chastity and obedience. Life had seemed so simple then, her path so clear.

She shoved the drawer closed and turned back to the bed, with nothing more to do she settled herself against the pillows, took up her bible and awaited the promised arrival of the doctor. She didn't allow herself to think about the only doctor she really wanted to walk through the door.