"You have embarked on a journey with great forces working against you," a voice reverberated. It was a female voice. "I have seen a billion futures, only in one of those paths do you succeed." Brian Bell tried to discern where the voice was coming from, but he couldn't see anything, he was in an empty void. Brian began to have a breakdown.

"I wanna go back!" he yelled, "Screw this crap, I've had it!"

"Only in dreams," responded the voice, "will you be able to go back to your former life. I cannot tell you everything, but allow me to guide you…" Slowly a clone of Cleopatra (Clonopatra) descended from above.

"When the time is right, you have to play 'Falling For You'. When, I cannot say, but when you've become trapped in a dire situation, you must call the Tornado to repay its favour." With that Clonopatra began glowing and the light spread across Brian's view until he was blinded by its brilliance. As his eyes tried to discern meaning from what he was seeing he sensed the presence of four others near him.

Then, suddenly, the light dissipated and he saw that it was Robama's mom.

"Hi Mrs... wait, what's Robama's last name?" stammered Brian. Robama's mom chuckled. "You've got a lot to learn," she commented. Then Brian remembered: being a robot, Robama had no mother. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a red pill and ate it; now there were 64 Robama moms. Then, 5 more descended from the sky. "We are the holy Novsexagennlet," they spoke in a booming voice.

"No," Brian whispered in disbelief. What could this mean? This is just like Susman69. The number was too fitting to be a coincidence. He must be a part of the plot!

Susman69 appeared in front of Brian "Bow under the power of Flying Spaghetti Monster," he commanded. Brian slowly turned to see the Flying Spaghetti Monster looming over him.

"Join us, Brian. Others have already done so, and none have regretted it. You will have access to unimaginable power - in fact, you've already met someone who came to our side. Simply renounce Rivers and you can join me." Flying Spaghetti Monster leaned in, "that's all you have to do..."

"NEVER," Brian yelled, "WHERE THE HELL AM I, GET ME OUT OF HERE!" The Flying Spaghetti Monster simply sighed.

Meanwhile in the real world, the other four members of Weezer lay unconscious on a street in Santa Monica, and although they did not know it yet, they were about to join Brian in his fever dream?

"No," Flying Spaghetti Monster said, "they aren't going to join you, you're all alone, in a dimension without time, you shall spend the next eternity here."

At that moment William Howard Taft chopped a hole in the wall with an axe and told Brian that he needed to get out through the hole right now. The Flying Spaghetti Monster screeched horribly before falling onto a large plate on the floor, now just a normal pile of spaghetti. Brian, confused as to what was real, followed William Howard Taft through the hole in the wall.

"You must see the truth, the true truth," William said urgently. "This red pill will show you the truth, this orange pill will make you really high, which do you choose?"

Brian took the orange one; he wanted to forget everything he had seen. He swallowed it but it didn't work and he saw an error message:

You are already too high from sewer gas and exposure to the hash pipe.

Brian began screaming as the world melted around him.

"The world has turned and left me here," screamed Brian, "and no one else can help. William, please. Save me."

Taft pulled out another axe and chopped down the wall of the room Brian was stuck in, finally freeing him to meet the other members of Weezer. To his great confusion, Brian looked out the hole and saw that they were apparently on the surface of the moon!?

At that moment William Howard Taft chopped a hole into William Howard Taft with an axe and told Brian that he needed to get out of there right now. Brian followed him. "Stop," a third man called. William Howard Taft turned.

"It is me, William Howard Taft," William Howard Taft announced, and William Howard Taft looked at Brian.

"Don't trust him, Brian, I am the real William Howard Taft." William Howard Taft and William Howard Taft looked at William Howard Taft, who then proceeded with William Howard Taft to look at William Howard Taft.

"He is lying to you, I am the real William Howard Taft," William Howard Taft replied. The other members of Weezer aside from Taft yelled for Brian to follow them. Brian, who was now even more confused than he was before, followed them toward the airlock of the moonbase. As they walked, hundreds of William Howard Tafts passed them. They kept walking down the hallway, but it seemed to stretch on infinitely, forever, and after what felt like years of walking, Brian stopped - he couldn't walk any further.

At that moment the lights went out and the surface of the moon began glowing blue and red. As the ground began to shake Rivers yelled "oh no it's Robama with his army of the premiers of the Soviet Union here to kill us all". As soon as he finished, a laser began slicing through the wall above him.

"If we use our friendship nothing can stop us!" Rivers exclaimed. As Robama and his massive army of robots approached they made a group hug.

At this moment the Premiers and Ronald Regan who were there to keep them in line turned around to see the army of William Howard Tafts charging them. It didn't matter they were instantly destroyed by Robama; Brian woke up - what a horrible dream! - and Flying Spaghetti Monster was next to him.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster told Brian that reality was unreal and offered him a plate of spaghetti. Brian pushed it away and ate a boatload of the multicolored pills from his pockets. As multiple realities flashed before his eyes he looked for the one in which he had just been. When he saw the moonbase, he yelled "stop!", subsequently falling back right next to the shuttle bay.

"No," Flying Spaghetti Monster sighed, "stop entering false reality, come back to me, I will show you."

Brian clove the spaghetti monster in half with one of the hundreds of fire axes lining the walls. Spaghetti monster reformed. "I am Flying Spaghetti Monster, I am undefeatable!"

Brian gave up on the spaghetti monster and ran to help his friends.

"Don't trust them, Brian," Flying Spaghetti Monster called, "they're your enemies, they're with… they're with Aihfoiasdvnmasdofiohashdofijnisaon!"

"Who is Aihfoiasdvnmasdofiohashdofijnisaon?" Brian asked.

"I AM AIHFOIASDVNMASDOFIOHASHDOFIJNISAON!" Aihfoiasdvnmasdofiohashdofijnisaon yelled.

It was a grotesque being with five arms, three necks, and four heads.

Brian screamed.

"WHAT ARE YOU!?" he yelled.

"I am Aihfoiasdvnmasdofiohashdofijnisaon of the Dhjasofihosdahncoinmsdaofn tribe, but you can call me Parker for short. I used to be just like you, a normal human, but with way too much knowledge on Antarctica. Then I became a demon, keeping people away from the light, away from Flying Spaghetti Monster - join me and we can destroy him together!" Brian stepped backward, he wasn't going anywhere near that Parker freak.

Brian reached into his other pocket to see if he had any more pills. He didn't but he did have a bottle of children's claritin. He filled up a dinky little medicine cup and took a sip. It tasted like shoes and his vision began to become distorted. He chugged the rest of the bottle and threw it at the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Flying Spaghetti Monster exploded into macaroni and Brian turned his attention to Parker. He used his newfound strength to tear apart Parker, clawing apart his chest. Inside he discovered the other four members of Weezer who had been imprisoned inside the monster.

All four of them looked at Brian in unison, giving Brian goosebumps.

"Um, guys?" He asked. They melted together into the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and Brian fell to his knees.

Just as he was about to start crying, Van Buren jumped in front of him. "I'll take care of him!" he yelled. Van Buren tackled the Flying Spaghetti Monster and they both exploded into Jolly Ranchers, but only the nasty apple flavor. So disturbed by this that he couldn't speak, Brian crawled into a closet and ate all of the medicine he had in his coat pockets. He also ate a few Jolly Ranchers for good measure. Everything around him exploded as the Moonbase disintegrated.

At this point, even David was confused. "What's happening?" he asked. Brian said, "You don't scare me anymore, I see that you're trying to tell me that I need to save my friends from Robama in the ultimate universe!"

Clonopatra descended from the sky once again, but this time Flying Spaghetti Monster was with her. "You are young and foolish. You need guidance."

"STOP!" Brian yelled, everything ceased to exist, he was just there, there was no one, nothing, he was just alone with himself (and David); it was a hard reset.

Brian crumpled up, not knowing what to think. David approached him. "Don't worry, I know how to get out of here," he offered.

"Thanks David, I don't know what I would do without you," Brian said gratefully. David commented that due to being a hard reset there was no air and that they would soon die from oxygen deprivation; but then suddenly there was air! The author had decided that killing his characters was pointless so early on.

"But in reality, the author had no power over this," the narrator commented, "It was the power of friendship!"

"Wait, I'm feeling light-headed," David spoke, "what is the percent composition of the air?"

Suddenly a gas meter appeared in his hand. It read 0.001% oxygen. Brian began to laugh before losing consciousness…

"Brian! Wake up Brian!" David called, "You just imagined that it was low oxygen, I was kidding, you don't need air in a void, you just fell asleep, get up and let's go!" Brian woke up and then remembered that he hadn't slept in three days. He got up and asked David where they were going.

"Further, we must go further," David sighed. "You'll understand when we get there..." They climbed aboard a blocky purple ship and set sail over the void. Brian stared over the edge of the ship, down into the infinite depths of the void. David pulled him back. "You don't want to go down there," he warned, "that's where he lurks..."

"Where who lurks?" Brian asked.

"You've got a lot to learn," David said. At that moment a clammy smell wafted into the ship and it was growing stronger.

"I recognize the smell," Brian said.

"So do I," David replied. Someone was on the ship, climbing down the stairs... to reveal Susman69. As soon as David saw him, he apprehended him.

"What are you doing here?" David asked.

"I am here to help you on your journey," Susman69 replied.

"Don't trust him," David answered. "It's a ploy to get you to help him reach mining level 50. If you join him, you'll lose hundreds of hours of your life."

"Haven't I seen you before?" asked Brian. Susman69 replied that he served the Flying Spaghetti Monster and had been sent there to help Brian complete the task which had been prophesied of him.

"He is a false prophet, he wants you to go to Robama, he wants you to go to Parker!"

David cried as his eyes began to glow red. Susman69 walked over to him and placed his hands on David's temples. He chanted in spaghetti language and David began to shake and make low rumbling noises. "What are you doing!?" Brian screamed. David exploded.

Then, out of nowhere, Jimin of BTS appeared.

"Gronkspurt nordic ratpink" he announced. Then Susman69 took off his mask to reveal he was also Jimin! The first Jimin was a shapeshifter who had taken the form of a chair on the deck of the ship.

He was also a servant of the Floating Ravioli Monster who wanted revenge. Then Parker descended from the sky, "You are dead now" he pronounced, Jimin died!

The pieces of exploded David reformed themselves into a new, clean, David. Brian understandably freaked out and asked, "What the heck did you just do?!" Susman69 explained that he had saved David from possession by the Floating Ravioli Monster.

Coughing, David stood up. "That's not true. The Flying Spaghetti Monster saved me. We have to defeat the Ravioli Monster… Along with Susman69!"

After an absolutely epic fight scene that was so cool that we can't talk about it, another Jimin was dead and Susman69 was on the brink of winning. Brian stood dumbfounded, confused, unsure how to feel. But then Robama's mom came and took Susman69 to bed as it was past his bedtime, before changing the password to his computer.

David was now left as the sole protector of Brian. As Brian helped him up from the floor he yelled that they needed to act fast if the universe was to be saved.

They continued on their epic journey, flying over the ocean void. It was almost a beautiful sight, if not for the weight Brian felt each time he stared into the abyss.

David said, softly, "Soon the Flying Spaghetti Monster will begin your training." Brian said nothing. He had seen enough movies to know that you didn't question these things.

Then, something rose from the water, something giant; it looked like a terrible mix of a worm and Joe Biden.

David cried out, "A spy from the Obama Empire!" He put the ship to top speed and began mumbling about how they were all doomed, that no one can escape Joe Biden. Joe Biden created a whirlpool to suck them back.

As the ship neared the brink tendrils of light began spreading across the sky.

"Ok we reached the destination," David said. They parked the boat on an island and stepped on the weird yellowish-looking ground. Brian followed although he felt uneasy with Joe Biden's eyes on him.

The tendrils resolved themselves into the holy noodles of the Flying Spaghetti Monster who appeared in the sky and destroyed Joe Biden.

"You have a greater purpose," the Flying Spaghetti Monster said to Brian.

"What is it?" Brian asked

"You have to get me a roll of toilet paper from the Obama Star. Your side quest is to destroy the Obama Star. Our stock is running low."

"What is the Obama Star?" Brian asked

The Flying Spaghetti Monster sighed and produced a large tube TV. David said, "We have prepared an instructional film for this exact purpose. We even added a hidden easter egg, if you find the hidden Robama, you get a sticker!"

Brian watched intensely. He really wanted that sticker. They started the film, and some music started.

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." I wonder why we're starting on episode 34, Brian thought to himself.

"When Robama was young, his romama left him," the video informed.

"This angered his father who punished him severely.

"Then, the worst thing that could have happened, happened - he lost his lucky quarter!

"Now irretrievably evil, he approved the petition to build a death star with the provision that it be called the Obama Star."

"But, upon completing the first one, he clogged the toilet and the Obama Star exploded, giving major injuries to Robama, he had to replace his arms and legs with robotic counterparts."

"This setback did not stop him and soon he will release the full power of the second Obama Star on the galaxy." On that note, the video ended.

"Oh, the humanity" cried Brian, "How can I ever hope to defeat him?"

"I shall train you," Flying Spaghetti Monster said.

"Am I … force sensitive?" asked Brian.

"No, lol, but you can be," said the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Brian wasn't quite sure about it but he had had such a strange day that he was ready to believe it.

"All you do is believe in yourself, and the placebo effect will take over," Flying Spaghetti Monster added.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster pulled aside a curtain revealing an X-wing. "Get in," he said to Brian, "use the force to guide your photon torpedoes."

"Oh shoot" Flying Spaghetti Monster said, "we can't give you an X-wing, we have a pretty low budget now, but you can take this instead..."

Flying Spaghetti Monster gave him a beaten-up old Winnebago with a rocket engine strapped on top.

"It's a bit old but it still works. By the way, don't forget to grab the toilet paper."

Brian got in and waited for David to get in, he didn't.

"Where's David?" Brian asked.

"Oh, he tripped and fell into the void," Flying Spaghetti Monster said, "Forget about him, focus on the mission, the galaxy depends on you."

"Really?"

"Yes, now shut up and go do your job," said the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

"Ok," said Brian as he put the throttle all the way forward, but then he needed a bathroom break. Luckily, being a camper there was a bathroom inside so he just used that.

Plop

"What was that?" Flying Spaghetti Monster asked. He ignored the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The world depended on him. His business finished Brian returned to the cockpit to continue his trip to the Obama Star.

The fighter launched and Brian was in the air, "Weezer 1, in the air he spoke into the mic."

"Weezer 2 all set and in the air," Rivers Cuomo said.

"What," Brian said, confused, I thought I had to save you?"

"Oh, Robama left the door unlocked," Matt and Patrick said at the same time, "where's Taft?" Brian asked. As the Obama Star pulled into view Weezer 1 and Weezer 2 entered their attack runs…

The speaker crackled. "Attention," Flying Spaghetti Monster's voice filled the cockpit.

"I forgot to mention, for the toilet paper, grab the strawberry-scented one. It's pink and it should be in the 156th linen closet in the 532nd floor in the mid-central north-north-eastern ward."

As Brian entered the trench to reach the 156th linen closet on the 532nd floor in the mid-central north-north eastern ward the Flying Spaghetti Monster spoke again.

"Use the force Brian," this snapped Brian out of it until he remembered that he didn't actually have the force, but he did have a pistol and the 2nd amendment. As people ran out with what looked like oversized glow sticks, he rolled down the window and took a few shots. They flailed around their glow sticks, but apparently they haven't taken the physics course on as they seemed surprised when the bullets didn't simply bounce off.

Having destroyed the noobs with glow sticks Brian began to panic and he became fidgety. From here we know little other than that Brian inexplicably rolled his Winnebago and it crashed into the surface of the Obama Star.

When it crashed into the Obama Star, it had cracked and ignited the gas line, creating a massive explosion of destruction, revealing Obama Star 3.2 behind it.

Weezer 2 tried to escape but they were unable to hide from Obama Star 3.2 and were vaporized in a single hit.

There ended the Space Odyssey of Weezer in a galaxy far, far, away.

As Flying Spaghetti Monster shook his head, the radio crackled. "Ro... Robama was at 5:32:46 of the video..."

Flying Spaghetti Monster's eyes grew wide, he would have to somehow find a way to give him the sticker…