Chapter summary: In which Kaeya dreams.


All of Mondstadt is busy preparing for the upcoming Windblume Festival. Booths are being erected along the streets and decorations are being hung from lampposts and rooftops. Everyone is doing their best to prepare for the festival. The Windblume Festival is the second largest festival after Ludi Harpastum after all.

It has not been long since the news of the death of Rex Lapis, and the subsequent fight with the sealed ancient god and sea monster, reached Mondstadt. And although the Geo Archon didn't really have anything to do with the City of Freedom, it was still shocking to hear that one of the remaining original Seven, the oldest one, had ceased to exist.

And just several weeks before the death of Rex Lapis, Mondstadt had also faced its own crisis in the form of Stormterror, one of Mondstadt's Four Winds who's supposed to protect the city.

With all the negative happenings, the Windblume festival makes a welcomed change. However, even if all of Mondstadt is looking forward to the Windblume festival, not everyone has it in them to fully enjoy the joyous occasion.

Kaeya groaned as he threw his arm over his eyes to block out the light. He likes to get drunk, but he hates the hangover that comes with it the following morning. It isn't one of the worst hangovers he's had, but the throbbing headache he's suffering from is still so bad that he doesn't want to get up.

It's a good thing he doesn't have anything scheduled in the morning and could sleep in a bit. The Windblume Festival is starting tomorrow and he could foresee that he will be one of the busiest knights during the festival.

People from all over Teyvat would come to Mondstadt to participate in the festival, and this also means increased treasure hoarder and Fatui activity. And no matter how much Kaeya likes to drink, the protection of Mondstadt would always come first.

That's why yesterday would be the last day he could get as drunk as he wants until the Windblume Festival ends. Yesterday would be the last night he could use alcohol to help him escape this new nightmare he's been having since several weeks ago.

As his headache lessens, Kaeya removes his arm and slowly opens his eyes. Once his eyes get used to the natural brightness of his bedroom, he uses his arms to slowly push himself up from his bed.

He sluggishly walks to his toilet and heads over to the sink. He turns on the water faucet and splashes water on his face. After he wipes the water off his face, he looks into the mirror before him with both of his eyes.

He lightly traces the reflection of the weird seal that superimposes his right eye on the mirror. There isn't supposed to be a seal on his eye. The seal was not there when he left Khaenri'ah. And he has no idea when this weird seal was attached to his eye.

When his birth father left him on the grassy plains near the Dragonspine region, between Mondstadt and Liyue, he was told a handler would come and pick him up. He was told the handler would help him adapt, train him and give him more details of his mission.

He had dutifully waited for three days, surviving by drinking water from melted ice he got from the icy mountain, preying on the wild animals and eating berries and other fruits that were grown in the vicinity.

But his handler never showed up. Instead, Master Crepus had seen the camp fire he forgot to douse when the man had been coming back from Liyue after a business trip and decided to take him home.

After Master Crepes took him in, he would sometimes go back to the grassy plains he was left in. Sometimes Diluc would tag along even after he had stressed time and again that he wanted, needed, to go alone. He didn't want anything to happen to sweet and innocent Diluc if his handler ever showed up and saw the other child with him.

But he never even found any signs of anything Khaenri'ah related. Master Crepus would look at him with saddened eyes every time he came back. And he would rush back to the room Master Crepus had given freely to him, ignoring the cries of Diluc for him to slow down.

He would place his tiny hand over his eyepatch. He was told to never reveal his right eye to anyone. He was told his handler was supposed to help him with his eye and tell him what to do with it. He was told his handler would be someone he was familiar with, so that he won't have to feel lonely even when he's stranded in this strange world that's so different from Khaenri'ah.

He would wonder who his handler was. He would wonder what happened to his handler. He would wonder if he's ever going to show up.

He had been so afraid to let anyone know about his connection to Khaenri'ah that he didn't take off his eyepatch the first few months he spent in the Ragnvindr Household. And when he finally had the courage to check his eye out - to accept the fact that no one is ever coming to pick him up - he found the foreign seal instead.

A seal that didn't feel Khaenri'an at all.

He had been scared, not understanding what had happened to his eye. Not understanding what was going to happen to his mission - you can't start your mission without your handler anyway, his mind had supplied - now that he couldn't use his eye.

The seal has been with him for nearly a decade already, yet he still doesn't know anything about it, apart from the fact that this seal apparently stopped him from calling forth the unique abyssal power he has that makes him special.

Well, at least according to the prophecy, he is supposed to be some savior of Khaenri'ah. His father had been so sure that he was supposed to save their nation by helping them win the war using the unique Abyssal power his right eye provided. And he was taken to Teyvat to assassinate the Archons, some of the most powerful beings amongst their enemies. But that was ages ago... and by ages, he meant five hundred years ago…

He had been warned that time behaves strangely whenever one passes through a portal that connects the Abyss and Teyvat… but to land five hundred years in the future…

He had been so confused and scared when he first saw a tiny passage in a history book briefly mentioning the destruction of Khaenri'ah five hundred years ago. He had been so confused and scared that Diluc, gentle and warm Diluc, started to sneak into his bedroom in the middle of the night to help him sleep.

Khaenri'ah was still at war against the Gods when he left Khaenri'ah. The mission to assassinate the Archons was only meaningful before Khaenri'ah fell. Heck, he didn't even know if his birth father made it back to Khaenri'ah before it's destruction or is also stuck in the 'future' like him.

At least he could have the hope that his handler, who was apparently one of his loved ones, didn't abandon him. He could have the hope that he wasn't killed in the war before he could come pick him up. He could have the hope that he was able to live till he died of old age. But he understood how impossible it was for his hope to be granted given how the war had ended. Not to mention how fate has never been kind to him anyway.

He had gotten better after several months. He had understood that there's nothing he could do about his situation. However, he still had still felt hollow and sad and a range of other negative emotions, some he didn't even know existed.

A tiny part of him had been happy though. As it meant that he might be able to stay with Master Crepus and Diluc and Adelinde for a while longer.

And that 'a while longer' had lasted until the death of Master Crepus.

He had already come to terms with the death of his family (except his birth father, as he's still not sure if he's also stuck in the 'future' or not) and friends in Khaenri'ah, yet he still feels guilty for living a peaceful life here.

And maybe that's the reason he had had this compulsion to tell Diluc about his origin that night. So that he could be punished. He had read about it in a book before, something called the survivor's guilt, coupled with the guilt of having lied to his adopted family for so long.

And Diluc didn't fail to meet his expectations. Though the Cryo Vision he got that night had been a - pleasant? Disappointing? - surprise.

He supposes he could take the revenge path, but Mondstadt and its citizens have been good to him. Not to mention the soothing winds that caressed his being whenever he was feeling down or particularly self-destructive.

He doesn't know what he would feel or act if he could see the Anemo Archon in person, as Barbatos is still one of the beings that helped with the destruction to Khaenri'ah, but…

Let's just say that he's grateful for the seal taking away the only means he has if he were to fight an Archon.

.

"Come in."

Kaeya opens the door to Jean's office and leisurely strolls in.

"Kaeya! Where have you been all morning? You-" Jean pauses before furrowing her brows. "Have you been drinking again?" She asks worriedly.

"Who do you think I am? Of course I know better than to get myself wasted just before the Windblume festival." Kaeya replies with a smirk even though he's wincing inwardly. Give it to Jean to see through his antics even before he starts speaking.

Jean sighs before giving him the 'I know you are lying but I am not going to press you' look. "I know you have been stressed about the Windblume Festival, but I assure you we do have enough knights to tighten the security while still allowing them to take time to enjoy the festival."

Kaeya lightly shakes his head. "If it's another one of your 'it's time that you take some rest' talk-"

"No, it's not."

Kaeya pauses and raises an eyebrow at that.

"I do want you to take some overdue rest, but I also understand that you won't be able to enjoy the festival fully if I force you to take any leave now." Jean explains. "However, I do want you to take it easy during the festival."

Kaeya nods. "Of course. I promise I will also take some time to enjoy the festival-" Jean smiles at the words- "if you also take some time to enjoy the festival yourself." and frowns as Kaeya finishes his sentence.

"But as the Acting Grand Master-"

"As the Acting Grand Master, you should go out and spend time with the citizens of Mondstadt during such a joyous occasion." Kaeya cuts in.

Jean sighs again. "Fine, I promise to do some patrolling around the city during the festival."

Kaeya clicks his tongue and gives Jean a withering look. "That's not what I would call 'enjoying the festival'. At least bring Lisa with you on your patrol."

Before Jean can say anything else on the matter, Kaeya continues. "Anyway, I doubt that's the sole reason you called me over, so what is it you want to talk about?"

Jean straightens her back and gestures towards the map that is spread out on her desk. "There are some last minute changes to the patrolling route for tomorrow."

.

Kaeya closes the door behind him and sighs tiredly.

The Cavalry Captain makes his way to his desk and drops unceremoniously into his chair. He places the stacks of paper on his desk within his reach before leaning back and puts his legs on the desk.

He quickly skims through the reports on his desk, sorting out those that require further investigation (e.g. ones that he deems too dangerous and delicate for others to handle), those that he could delegate to his fellow knights (the perks of being a captain), and those that could wait till after the Windblume Festival ends.

He supposes it's only fair for Jean to bring up his stress just the day before the start of the festival. He did have one of his worst hangovers several weeks ago, which was incidentally the next day after Jean had called all the remaining captains over for a meeting about tightening the security for the upcoming Windblume Festival.

All because he had received a piece of information from one of his trusted informants that made him feel all sorts of negative emotions that he wasn't even aware existed that same day.

Information about the death of Morax.

To be honest, he didn't understand why he had felt sad when he heard that news. He hasn't even been to Liyue before. He had suspected that those feelings had come from the fact that his original mission was to assassinate the Archons. That hearing about the death of an Archon several hundred years after his mission 'expired' had inadvertently triggered some of the negative emotions he had tried to suppress for the past decade.

He had gone to Angel's Share that night, as per his usual whenever he was feeling particularly self destructive. After having his usual bickering with Diluc that made his heart clench painfully, he started to order glasses after glasses of his favourite drink. He had forgotten how much he had drunk that night. He had forgotten who else he had talked to that night. He had forgotten how he had returned home that night. All he remembered was the splitting headache he had the morning after.

His hangover was so bad that even Amber had noticed him acting funny that day. And Jean had jumped to the wrong conclusion that he was overly stressed by the meeting just the day before.

Not that Kaeya is going to correct her anyway.

He had gone back to Angel's Share the next day, only to get thrown out harshly and was told that he was banned from the tavern for at least a week by his dear ex-brother.

Kaeya had wondered what had happened after he had become drunk the previous night.

And the nightmares had started since that night.

With the reports sorted into three neat piles and other paperworks done, he gets up and stretches his body till he can hear popping sounds coming off his stiff shoulders.

He glances out his window to check the time. The sun is about to set and he decides it's about time he retires for the day. Jean did explicitly tell the knights with the earliest shift next morning to head home to rest early today.

Well… it's not like he's one of the knights with an early shift tomorrow, but he could do to have more rest tonight.

But he's not going home just yet. He told himself not to get drunk till the Windblume Festival ends… but all he needs is a glass or two. Just to make it easier to sleep and hopefully still be able to ward off his nightmare but not enough to get him drunk.

.

Kaeya thanks Charles and tells him to add to his tab before taking the glass of Death After Noon with him to a less populated corner in Angel's Share.

Normally he would sit at the bar, but not today. He doesn't have the mood to deal with anyone tonight. And it's a tiny reprieve to him that Diluc is not the one manning the bar tonight.

His relationship with his estranged brother has been getting better over the past few months. Not that they are speaking to each other much (really speaking to each other, like having a normal conversation, not just bickering), but at least he is getting better at reading this new Diluc and knows when to back off before the arguments start to escalate to the point of attracting the attention of all the customers in the bar.

He understands it's impossible for them to go back to how they were before Master Crepus died. But with this new nightmare plaguing his mind, he wants to do something to speed up the mending of their relationship.

That's why he's glad that Diluc isn't the one bartending today. He doesn't want to get into another argument with Diluc so close to the Windblume Festival.

The Windblume Festival is a time for one to show their appreciation to their loved ones by offering Windblumes and gifts to them. He has been making up plans to apologize to Diluc during the festival in the hopes of gaining true forgiveness from his ex-brother.

So far his plan includes getting a bouquet of small lamp grass and writing a heartfelt letter. As for the content of that supposedly heartfelt letter… he is sure it will come to his mind sometime during the festival…

Kaeya inwardly groans and resists the urge to slump down on his chair at the depressing thought of the near non-existent progress of his grand plan. He takes another sip of his favourite drink and looks around the bar just in time to see Venti bowing to his audiences after finishing another song.

He sees one of the patrons, Albert, his mind supplies, the self proclaimed head of the Barbara Fan Club, pointing towards somewhere near him as he talks excitedly to the bard, who nods in return and does another dramatic bow before heading back to the bar.

He turns his head around to locate whatever it is that Albert was gesturing at and sees a poster, one that he's sure wasn't there yesterday, on the wall. He gets up and makes a beeline to the poster to read the contents of it.

The poster is about a poetry lesson on the first day of the Windblume Festival given by their favorite bard.

"Interesting." He muttered to himself.

Kaeya agrees that Venti is indeed easily one of the best bards who sings the most beautifully written songs he's ever heard in Mondstadt.

And this bard is going to give a poetry lesson. On the first day of the Windblume Festival. He supposes that the poetry lesson would be targeted at people looking to gifting their loved ones poems of love to show their appreciation.

And isn't it lucky that Kaeya is also thinking of sending a heartfelt letter to Diluc by the end of the Windblume Festival?

.

Kill him!

Kill him!

Kill him!

He tries to block the voices out by placing his hands over his ears as they get stronger and more frequent. But that doesn't help at all, for it feels as if the voices are speaking directly in his head.

He starts running into the darkness before him to escape those voices. No, darkness isn't the only thing surrounding him. Dozens of pairs of eyes are staring at him through the darkness. He couldn't even see his feet as he ran, yet he could still see those eyes that are haunting his every step clearly.

The ground - or is he even running on the ground? - suddenly disappears and he starts falling down.

The voices stop the moment his fall is abruptly stopped by something soft underneath his body. He opens the eyes he didn't remember closing and sees, or more like feels, that he's looking through a haze, even though all he sees is darkness before him.

At least there aren't any more eyes staring at him.

Suddenly two light orbs appeared before him. No, those are not light orbs… even though the fog is distorting his vision, he somehow knows that it's a pair of eyes.

A pair of amber eyes staring at him through the darkness.

He feels safe just looking at those eyes for some strange reason. He wants to reach out to the owner of those pairs of eyes but finds himself rooted to the ground.

Do it. A voice hisses directly in his ear.

.

Kaeya opens his eyes abruptly. The pounding of his heart being the only sound he hears. He starts breathing in and out with his mouth in an attempt to slow down his racing heartbeat.

It's that nightmare again. The one that started ever since that day.

He squeezes his eyes shut as he slowly untangles his hands from where they were clenching hard at his bedsheets. Once he deems the pounding of his heart not as profound as before, he switches back to using his nose to continue the breathing exercise to calm himself down.

It's Morax. For some reason Kaeya just knows that those eyes belong to the Geo Archon. Every Khaenri'an was taught the distinctive features of all the Archons that they knew of before they were sent to join the war. And the distinctive feature of Morax he was told was amber colored eyes.

Maybe amber colored eyes weren't that common five hundred years ago, but now that he thinks about it, it sounds ridiculous to receive a mission to kill a target with the only description being their eye color.

Not that the 'distinctive' feature of Barbatos was any better… a being who likes to play Lyre… just how the heck is anyone going to locate Barbatos with that ridiculous description?!

At least he no longer has to complete his mission…

He stays like that for several more minutes, listening to the sounds of birds chirping outside his window and the sounds of winds gently rustling his curtains.

He opens his eyes to stare at the ceiling above him. Somehow expecting a pair of amber eyes materializing out of thin air to stare at him.

He naturally assumes that this new and weird nightmare of his is due to the news of the death of Morax. He assumes that this is his subconsciousness telling him how he had failed his people by not completing the mission because he is temporally displaced by five hundred years. How he had failed his people by not avenging them and let some unknown being kill the Geo Archon instead.

He finally brings his hand up to rub at his eyes and slowly sits up. He glances out the window to take note of the position of the sun. Well, at least he got five hours of sleep.

He walks over to the window of his bedroom and leans against the wall to take a look at the streets below.

Usually only a handful of people would be out around this time of the day. But he can see that some of the merchants are already up and running. Most likely doing a final check to make sure they are ready for the Windblume festival that would be beginning officially in another few hours.

With a final look at the city he has been living in for the past decade or so, the city that he wants to call his home yet every time he tries to, he would have this feeling that something is amiss, Kaeya pushes himself away from the wall to start preparing himself for the day.