Hi, I wrote this as my entry for the The Matrix Contest/Sweepstakes.

Turns out I have plenty of time, so I went back and fixed lots of mistakes so that rude people won't get my story deleted for no reason.

Maybe this isn't the best but I think I did ok. I don't know what a Tudor is, but I like entering contests and that was part of the contest requirement so I spent 5 minutes on Wikipedia beforehand so as to make this story as accurate as possible. I also went for the double points because I want to win.

Thank you for giving me this opportunity, I hope it meets your standards.


Athena Cykes looked at the abandoned factory building she was outside of, then down at a note in her hand that said 'meet me at the abandoned factory building at 3am'. Going to an abandoned factory at night by herself was dangerous because she was a girl, but she went anyway because she felt like it.

"This must be the place," she said to herself, before walking into the dark factory. "I wonder who this is from, why would someone want me to come to this dump at 3 am?" After she went in all the lights flashed on and in the middle of a giant abandoned factory building was none other than DYLAN FITCHAR! and he was standing next to a beat up old DeLorean.

"What is the meaning of this," asked Athena warily. "Why are you standing next to an ugly car in a factory at 3am?"

Dylan Fitchar laughed like a mad scientist because he's a bad guy. Then he slapped the hood of his beat up DeLorean like a used car salesman. "I need this baby for my next evil scheme, and I need your help to pull it off," Dylan said.

"It's just an ugly car," replied Athena. "I don't want to help you with some dumb evil scheme, it's 3 in the morning you retard."

"it's not just an ugly car, its a TIME MACHINE!" revealed Dylan, "And we're going back to the 16th century to kickstart the mobile gacha game market."

"Why are you using a car as a time machine? Just use a normal one like usual," said Athena.

"Shut up, I spent a lot of money on a flux capacitor on eBay and I'm using it," replied Dylan.

"Ok, but this plan doesn't make any sense, why do you need me for your plan?" asked Athena.

"Obviously, I need an employee to program the games duh," replied Dylan

"No, I don't even know how to do that." said Athena "We'd have to reinvent smartphones, and I can't do that either." She pointed out the very fatal flaw in Dylan Fitchar's evil plan, or so she thought.

"Don't worry, I have that covered." Dylan opened the hood of the car to reveal that the engine was buried in smart phones that he stole from children because he's not very nice. "We will distribute these phones to all of the rich people we find and get them addicted to gacha games and become trillionaires."

"This is the stupidest idea ever," said Athena "I don't even need money, why should I help you?"

"You're not even canon," replied Dylan Fitchar. "If you want them to keep making stupid phony ace attorney games with fake characters like you in it, you'll need money to bribe them."

Athena Cykes realized that Dylan Fitchar was right, but she didn't want to get in his car anyway because the upholstery was ugly and smelled like old people. "The upholstery is ugly and smells like old people," she said to him.

"I don't care get in the car you idiot," said Dylan. Athena said "no" and turned around to leave, but Dylan ran over and grabbed her by the arm and threw her into the passenger side of the car, before hopping into the drivers side. Then he closed and locked all the doors and turned the engine on. The car went vroom vroom, because that's what cars sound like.

"Ok, we're going back to the past now, hold on" said Dylan Fitchar

"This is the stupidest idea ever," said Athena, but she was locked in the car and didn't have a choice but to be Dylan Fitchar's code monkey slave in the 16th century.

Dylan slammed on the gas pedal and went up to 88 miles per hour, and then flew through time to 16th century England. It was too fast and Athena got motion sickness and vomited all over the inside of the car, and Dylan was mad at her for it, but he was too busy driving through the passage of time and space and there was nowhere to pull over so he just left it there.

When they arrived in 16th century England, Dylan Fitchar mailed all the cell phones to all of the aristocrats and royalty people (or whoever they are idk) and they were novel inventions from the future, so everyone really liked them and use them a lot. Then Dylan made Athena design lots of mobile gacha games full of attractive anime girls with large breasts, with extremely predatory pricing and low SR rates.

King Henry VIII got really addicted to one of the gacha games and fell in love with a 2d anime girl, so he gave up on trying to get married and spent all of the money in the entire kingdom on the game. Everybody starved and died but he didn't care because he was too busy trying to pull a skimpy bathing suit from the limited skin gacha that had a 0.0000000000012% rate, and he already dumped 50 billion dollars (I don't know what 16th century England uses as currency, sorry) into trying to get it. One of his advisors or something burst in and said "King Henry VIII, I'm sorry but you used every money in the kingdom we're all broke and starving and everyone is dead," and then he starved and fell over dead.

"Oh no," said King Henry VIII "at least I still have you, my love." He caressed the boobs of his anime waifu, but then the phones battery died, and Dylan Fitchar didn't bring a way to recharge them to the past, so it was dead forever. King Henry VIII became very sad and died of heart break.

Afterwards, Dylan Fitchar threw all of the money into the car and there was barely any room for him. "Now I have all the money from this time period, I will go back to my time and spend it all on something stupid like a gacha game."

Athena couldn't fit in the car with him, "I cant fit in the car with you," she said.

"Well duh, did you really think I was going to take you back? I'm leaving you here," then he closed the doors and locked himself in with the money and Athena pounded on the door and called him rude names, but he didn't care.

He went to 88 miles per hour and flew back to his own time period, and got out of the car with his evilly earned money. "Haha that was so easy."

"HOLD IT!" said John Phoenix, who showed up out of nowhere, "I know you went to the past and stole the money of all of the royal people in the 16th century with predatory video games."

"WHAT, HOW DID YOU KNOW?" Screamed Dylan.

"That's obvious, I got a text message from someone in the 16th century," replied John Phoenix. "Now I'm taking all that illegally gained money away from you."

"NOOOOO! NEVER!" Dylan turned around to go back to his car and money, but the car was already completely empty of money. "WHERE DID MY MONEY GO?!"

"I already took the money while you were distracted," replied John Phoenix. "I also destroyed your flux capacitor so you can't escape into the past again."

"DAMN YOU! MY PERFECT PLAN WAS RUINED!" Dylan Fitchar jumped into his car and drove away. John Phoenix couldn't follow him because he didn't bring a car, but he already instructed the police to wait and intercept Dylan because he was thinking ahead.

Unfortunately the police were incompetent, and Dylan got away because they're stupid.

The End


Epilogue:

John Phoenix didn't know what to do with all of the money that belonged to King Henry VIII of 16th century England, so he took it home and kept it there until next time he visited the past. But then his uncle, Phoenix Wright, found it and spent it on mobile gacha games, and John Phoenix got mad at him and beat him up and locked him in the basement. Later John Phoenix found out that King Henry VIII was dead and became a ghost after his anime waifu died, so he went and told King Henry VIII that his uncle spent all of Henry's money, and the ghost of King Henry VIII flew into John Phoenix's basement and beat phoenix up again, and haunted him for a whole month.

I don't know what happened to Athena in the 16th century, but I don't really care enough to write something about it, so if you want to know I give you permission to write a sequel about it yourself.