AU!

Warning: angst and death

THC, Round 2

Standard

Slytherin, DADA

Prompt: (word) empty, (time of day) sunrise

WC: 1490


As the sun rose over the horizon, Remus sat on the edge of the roof, his eyes glazed over with tears. He had spent the entire day trying to hold onto a semblance of hope for the future, but his heart just refused to let him succeed.

Sirius was… gone. Dead.

Remus knew he needed to be strong for the Order, to carry on for the Light, for Harry, but it didn't seem possible to him at all. There was a deep ache in his chest that, no matter what he tried, left him feeling empty. Hopeless. Desperate for something unrecoverable.

The sunlight's warmth washed over him, but even that caused chills to run up and down his spine. He closed his eyes and tried to allow it to lift his spirits, but nothing happened.

All he could think of was how time was a complete bitch. It had brought him down onto his knees again and again, and it had broken his heart just to mend it before smashing it into smithereens. Every time he thought that he might just move on, Time would cackle at his pathetic attempts, pull him back down and remind him that time only meant losing the ones you love.

As the rising sun cast a rosy hue across the morning sky, Remus's heart stuttered, and tears welled up in his eyes. It was the same shade of Sirius's cheeks after Remus had properly ravished him.

"Your blush is my moonlight," Remus whispered, stroking Sirius's flushed cheek with the tip of his thumb. Hungrily, he tangled his fingers in Sirius's sweaty hair and tugged on the curls, exposing his pale, vulnerable throat. "Your skin reflects the glow of your heart…"

"Moony, you know how I feel when you say things like that," Sirius murmured, the stars shining in his half-lidded grey eyes. He ran his fingers down Remus's bare back and—

Remus choked on his sobs and clenched his eyes shut as he tried to suppress his tears. Even though Remus had charmed Sirius with his words, they still couldn't express how much Sirius had meant to him. His shoulders trembled and he gripped the ledge underneath him with both hands.

The sun's golden light shone softly on the city streets, bringing it with a flurry of early morning activity. People crept out of their houses, milling about as they chit-chatted with their neighbours, but no one noticed Remus up on the roof, his heart in millions of pieces, his soul shattered beyond recognition.

Another day had dawned, bright and new, bringing with it new hopes and aspirations for the ignorant, while Remus was left bereft of everything.

His gaze landed on two joggers running through the park opposite Number 12, their joyous laughter piercing through Remus's grief like a Basilisk fang. They seemed to be lost in their own world as they chased each other down, and Remus's heart broke even more.

"You can't catch me, Mr Wolf," Sirius teased, his crimson cloak flapping in the breeze as he sprinted over the Hogwarts grounds.

"Oh, want to bet on it, Little Red?" Remus smirked, amused by Sirius's insistence on the nickname. Who was he to refuse his lover?

"What will you do when you catch me, Mr Wolf?" Sirius batted his lashes at him, extending his arms as he came to a halt near the Forbidden Forest.

Remus crouched, prepared to lunge at him. "I'll have my slice of dessert. I bet it's finger-licking good."

Sirius burst into peals of laughter right before Remus leapt at him and knocked him down onto the ground. Remus's lips covered his, silencing his moans.

Remus's lips turned up in a nostalgic smile despite the deep-seated ache in his soul. He leaned forward, his feet hanging in the air, barely paying attention to the obvious danger he was in—or more likely, not bothering to care. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he raised his hand towards the sun, trying to feel something good, something remotely happy.

"Will you remember me, Moony? If I don't make it back from this mission, will you—"

"Shh," Remus whispered, his forehead pressed against Sirius's. Their breaths mingled in the cold, warming Remus from the inside out. "Don't you dare."

"You always tell me to be realistic, but when I am, you yell at me," Sirius grumbled, his lower lip jutting out in a small pout. Remus tilted his head and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, and Sirius smiled. When they parted, Sirius whispered heatedly, "Even when we're far apart, remember me... because I always hold you in my heart."

"You're ridiculous," Remus muttered, peppering soft kisses against Sirius's throat.

"Every time you close your eyes, think of me, will you?" Sirius murmured, his eyes closed and a smile playing on his lips. He ran his fingers through Remus's short hair, his touch soothing Remus's wounded soul. "I'll wait for you until you're in my arms again."

Remus shook his head to try and get rid of the thoughts, the memories, but they kept haunting his very soul, rising unbidden in his mind like ghosts. He swung his legs over the empty air below and gazed at the sunrise, at the birds that flew overhead, at the cloud formations in the sky. But despite the obvious beauty, nothing could change the fact that Sirius wasn't there to watch the sunrise with him.

Not anymore.

Remus remembered the last time they had watched the sunrise together. It had been just a week ago when Remus had returned from a mission for the Order. He had tried looking for Sirius inside the house, but his lover wasn't anywhere to be found. Upon questioning Kingsley, he had found out that Sirius was up on the roof.

The stars were still twinkling in the night sky by the time Remus climbed up the stairs to the rooftop. Sirius was lying on his back, staring up at the slowly brightening sky, his eyes soft and warm.

"Hey, you alright?" Remus whispered, lying down beside him.

Sirius simply hummed and entwined his fingers with Remus's. They lay there in silence, only watching the stars dance overhead. Soon, their eyes welcomed the sunrise, the reds and blues rising to a new and vibrant glow in the sky.

"I used to come out here when I was a kid. I'd hide out on the roof away from my blasted mother inside." Sirius let out a deep sigh and looked up again. "I hated the stars. They were just more of my family watching me. But then I met you."

Sirius turned to look at Remus. "You were the moon, drowning out all those stupid stars with the light of it. Every night in Azkaban when I looked at the sky, I saw you… I felt your presence," Sirius whispered, his eyes still trained on the sky. "But I never thought I'd ever see you again."

Remus rolled onto his side and pushed himself up onto his elbow. The wind swept Sirius's black curls over his face, and Remus raised his hand to push them away, his fingers lingering over the small scars on Sirius's skin.

Sirius turned his head and gazed into Remus's eyes. "I wished I had died. So many times. I couldn't bear the thought that I could never see you again. That I couldn't feel your love."

Remus's breath hitched, and he bent down to kiss Sirius, unable to stop himself. Sirius was quiet, unlike the many times he would moan and show his pleasure, and Remus's heart broke just a little at how much Azkaban had stolen from his lover.

"I never stopped loving you, Remus."

"Neither did I."

Sirius smiled and closed his eyes, melancholy surrounding him like a halo as the sunlight caressed their skin like the soft hands of a lover. Sirius looked like a fallen angel, and Remus's heart ached even more. Sirius whispered, "I always loved and hated the sunrise, you know…"

"Why? The sun always brings a new day, new hopes and dreams," Remus murmured, running his fingers through Sirius's thick curls. His wolf loved how soft his mate was. "Didn't you ever let yourself hope?"

"No, I didn't dare to. Not until I saw you again."

Remus's heart cracked wide open at the raw emotion in Sirius's voice, and he pulled his lover into his arms, holding him against his chest as they both savoured the intimacy they had been craving all those years.

The emptiness in Remus's soul promised him that he would never, ever feel Sirius's warmth again.

It was with that thought that Remus stood up on the edge of the roof and stared up at the slowly dwindling light of the stars that speckled the sky.

A certain darkness was needed to see the star he loved so much.

Remus whispered, "I'll follow you into the dark."

He stepped off the ledge.