March 13, 2020:

A lot of things changed for me on this day. The world shut down from a virus, people began to drop dead on the street, and I got kidnapped by a moon goddess to become her attendant.

Okay, am I going too fast? probably. Let's start at the beginning.

Everything for the first 16 years of my life was rather normal, well as normal as growing up a Litvak Jew can be. Since I could walk, my parents put me in Yeshiva to study the Torah and its respective commentaries. In fact, I did so well in this regard that I was considered a prodigy, coming up with new exegetical analysis in regard to the Talmud. My Rabbis were thrilled at my abilities in Talmudic insight, and were sure to posit the most difficult questions. I answered Shailos for my friends about the most random things, ranging from whether their backyards were in private or public domains, if their Phylacteries were still kosher, and if the town Eruv was still intact. I got used to this dreariness, but it was a bit annoying at times. I just wanted to expound on commentaries and go to my Rabbi's shiurim.

I had heard that there was this new virus that originated in China, and the country closed down. Regardless, I was not worried, since G-d would always look after His people. A few days before March 13th was the holiday of Purim, which commemorates the Jews' salvation from genocide in ancient Persia by the wicked Haman. The holiday was always a period of gaiety in my community, with lots of delicious food, the occasional drinks, and communal togetherness. Even more enjoyable when dressed in costume, which is customary on that day. Anyways, I was still a bit stuffed from my mother's potato kugel that she made for the Purim Seudah, and I saw on the news that a stay at home order was being put in place for an indefinite period of time, to prevent the propagation of the novel coronavirus.

"Are you kidding me? This has to be some kind of elaborate joke! Pesach is less than a month away, and if this order is still in place, we might not be able to have a Seder with the family. What chutzpah!" My mother says on the phone with my aunt. I personally didn't care that much at the time, because I got to stay home from school, and I was rather bored with my studies. I found them too easy, and I needed more invigorating material to foster my intellect. I spent that first day of quarantine listening to the lectures that my Rabbi gave on the particular tractate of Babylonian Talmud I happened to be studying at the time, that being Sanhedrin. As I was listening to this lecture on my laptop in my room, I noticed that it began to rain. Not excessive rain that could cause flooding, but not a light drizzle either. A regular, rainshower. The drops patterned lightly against my windowsill, which momentarily distracted me from the laws and statutes pertaining to Ben Sorer U'Moreh, or the rebellious son (which can be found in Sanhedrin 68b). I looked out of my window, and I didn't see anything particularly interesting, just the cars going down Route 59 like they always do. I went back to listening to my lecture, with my Talmud open, and my fingers scanning the tiny margins of the text, looking to see if any particular commentary was of interest to me today. Rashi was always a good place to start.

"Noah, are you busy with something? I need you to help me bring in the groceries!" My sister said, who just opened the door. I always had time to help my sister with stuff. She is amazing and is always there for me.

"Coming, just need to save my document and-". I really was going to come downstairs and unload the groceries from the family minivan, but I could have sworn that I saw the strangest thing in our driveway. Now, what was this insane sight, an affront to Nature itself?

It was a horse, and not just any horse. It had wings and a horn, and looked sapient. It's cosmic black mane glistening in the rain, showing vibrant shades of dark purple.

"Hold on, sis, come upstairs. I could have sworn that I saw the strangest thing. Look out my window. Come quick! It could disappear any second." I yelled down the stairs. She quickly ran up the stairs, almost tripping on her skirt.

"Holy cow. I have never seen anything like that!" My sister said, taking a photo of the sight on her phone.

Then, to make things even more interesting, it disappeared from view, slowly fading from the driveway, like it was turning invisible. I wondered where it went?

"I have no idea what that was? Could it be a Nevuah, Noah? My sister asks me, totally baffled at the sight we both witnessed.

"Beats me, I have no idea. Maybe we are both tired. Did you actually take a picture of that thing?" I asked my sister, who quickly opened up her phone, showing me the picture. I took a screenshot of it, and sent it to my laptop.

"I'll help with the groceries in a minute. I got to figure out what the hell I just saw. I need 10 minutes, does that work with you?" I asked my sister, who just nodded. I put the picture on my desktop, and did a quick reverse image search on TinEye. Maybe the internet has an answer for something that I don't.

Millions of results came up, showing this key phrase:

Nightmare Moon: My Little Pony

I literally burst out into laughter. Is this some sort of elaborate joke? Why would something fake, invented for little girls be in front of my driveway? Maybe I had a bit too much whiskey over Purim.

"This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen, even more than the argument about the egg laid on a festival in Beitza." I said to myself.

It was about to get rather real. Something behind me covered my face, knocking my yarmulke off. I didn't know who or what it was, but they must have put chloroform on the towel, since I began to fall asleep.

"Alright, Noah. Sleep well. I promise I will not hurt you." Said a regal voice. I didn't see who said it, but I fell asleep shortly after.

I have no idea how long I was asleep, but when I woke up, I noticed something was incredibly odd. I didn't have hands anymore. I had hooves?

I got out of the bed, which I do have to admit was rather comfy, and walked around, before realizing that I was on all fours. "What the hell is going on? This has to be some kind of elaborate joke. I might be dreaming? I mean, Jacob saw angels climbing up and down a ladder, so this isn't so crazy." I said to myself, looking for a bathroom. I needed to see what I actually looked like.

When I finally found a mirror, I saw that I was still the same height that I usually am, but I was a pony? I had cyan blue and white features, and a Star of David and a Torah Scroll on my hindquarters. Was this a tattoo? That was so weird. I never saw anything like this in my life. And, if I wasn't totally crazy, I saw a horn on my forehead.

"Ribbono Shel Olam" I pray silently. "What is going on? Why am I a monster?" I ask myself. I heard a knock on the door, and for some reason, my mind instinctively opened the door.

"What. The. Hell? Did I just open the door with my mind?" I ask myself out loud. I see that same mare from before, the one in front of my driveway, giggling to herself.

"Ah, if it isn't Noah the Hebrew. I heard many pleasant things about your race over the years. I had to make sure to select the best and brightest for my mission. I need top tier intellect for what I am planning."

"Who are you, and what do you want with me?" I say, not knowing who this being is. Could it be an Angel of G-d? Anything is possible now.

"You are on Equestria's moon. I am the guardian of this celestial body. My name is Luna, but Nightmare Moon sounds cooler, now doesn't it?" Luna says to me, as if this isn't the first time she kidnapped a person.

"And what do you want on this mission?" I ask her rhetorically, in the typical Talmudic fashion.

"Nothing more than the conquest of Equestria, silly! I just need someone smart to help me."

"This is going to get really weird." I say to myself.

How right I was.

Author's Note:

GLOSSARY:

Litvak Jew: Lithuanian Jews or Litvaks are Jews with roots in the territory of the former Grand Duchy of Lithuania, split among the present-day Lithuania, Belarus, Latvia, northeastern Suwa?ki and Bia?ystok region of Poland, as well as some border areas of Russia and Ukraine.

Yeshiva: Jewish seminary, meant for the study of Jewish texts.

Shailos: questions on Jewish legal matters.

Eruv: tiny wire around the perimeter of a city that allows for Observant Jews to carry items on the Sabbath or Festivals

Shiur (Shiurim pl.) lectures on Jewish matters given by Torah scholars, Rabbis, or other notable figures.

Seudah: Lit feast in Hebrew. Refers to festive meals around the year.

Pesach: Passover, the Jewish holiday commemorating the Exodus from Egypt.

Rashi: Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki lived in Troyes, France during the 11th century. He wrote commentary on the entire Old Testament and the Talmud. Widely considered to be the foremost scholar in Jewish history.

Nevuah: Hebrew for Prophecy.

Ribbono Shel Olam: Lit Master of the Universe. A common refrain in supplemental prayers.