Note: Just a little crack tidbit to whet your appetite for my upcoming new Loki fic.

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Loki thrusts out his daggers, almost as if trying to ward off a vampire with religious totems. The Avengers have finally cornered him, in an abandoned warehouse, of all places.

"Look around you," says Steve. "Do you really want to do this the hard way?"

Loki reluctantly lays down the daggers. Before they can seize him, a nearby wall seems to explode. Pepper Potts hovers outside the newly created hole in her Iron Woman suit. "I'm sorry. We can't let you do this. He's just too hot."

Tony powers down the glowing ring on his palm and waves away the others' weapons. "Pepper! What the hell are you talking about? And what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Jane Foster enters through the hole in the wall with a small, gizmo-ish box in hand. She tells Pepper, "I told you you didn't have to be so dramatic about it." One twist of a knob and all the Avengers float up into the air, flailing helplessly.

"What has he done to you, Jane?" Thor stammers.

"There's no reason this has to be a big deal. We don't want him hurt or imprisoned, that's all."

Thor's mouth is hanging open. "That's all?"

Loki has been watching this with a gleeful smile plastered across his face. He doesn't protest as Sharon Carter rappels down from the rafters and escorts him toward the relative safety of a shipping fires up his jets and zips across the gap at Pepper. She dodges, but Thor takes advantage of the distraction. As if sensing his brother's epic gloat burning against his back, he twists his torso and spins Mjolnir, sighting down on Loki.

"No!" Natasha screams. She shoots him with a stun round, jolting him just enough drop the hammer.

"She's one of us!" announces Pepper over amplifying speakers built into her suit. She's now grappling with Tony. "Let her down!"

"It doesn't work like that. I can't just let her down."

"Then let them all down!" She breaks free and shoots up out of sight.

Jane swallows hard and returns the Avengers to the ground. Natasha and Sharon immediately attack Steve and Clint. Even above the racket, the whooshes and clangs of battle from overhead are clearly audible. Thor hears a triumphant "Hey, lover," from behind him and turns to see Jane brandishing Mjolnir.

"Looks like Mjolnir agrees that my cause is worthy," she says.

He puts out his hands and approaches slowly. "Put that down. You're going to hurt someone."

She responds by swinging at him, forcing him to jump back. Thor ducks and slides in under her next swing, briefly grabbing her legs before the hammer crashes down on his back. He splays facedown on the floor.

Pepper flies back in and the four women line up and strike a Superhero Photo Shoot pose. The men are in bad shape. Steve is just recovering from one of Natasha's stun rounds. Clint is bleeding copiously where Sharon's baton made contact with his head. Thor is hammerless. Even Tony has bits of circuitry hanging out of his suit where tech-savvy Pepper disabled some of its functions.

"This doesn't have to end badly," says Natasha.

Sharon adds, "Just let us take him. He'll never bother you again, we promise."

The men look at each other, then wearily form their own lineup. Sharon nudges Jane and says, "You owe me ten bucks."

The two sides charge. Just before they clash, they're halted by the shock of the Hulk smashing headfirst through the rear wall. All eyes go to Loki. Naturally, he couldn't resist seeing the carnage and is standing in the open doorway of the shipping container. When he sees the Hulk, he darts back inside, slamming the door shut behind him. The towering green monstrosity brushes past ally and opponent alike.

"What do we do?" comes Natasha's horrified whisper.

The Hulk now has his hands on the shipping container and is shaking it like a baby rattle. Pepper shoots a blast into his back and he drops it, turning with beetled brow. "Throw the damn hammer," she hisses through gritted teeth, pumping out three more blasts.

Jane vertically helicopters Mjolnir, just as Thor would do, and lets fly. Natasha and Sharon are shooting at him. It only seems to anger the Hulk. Everyone backpedals as he charges them... but then Tony flies between them, helmet peeling back to reveal his face.

"Hey, big guy. Remember me?"

The Hulk looks like he's genuinely trying to remember if he remembers. Tony continues in soothing tones. "I know you're pissed off, and you should be, but these are your friends, remember?"

The other men are joining him now. "We don't hurt friends," says Steve.

"Hulk friend?" Jane is frozen with her hand in her backpack, not wanting to risk tipping some delicate invisible balance. Too late. He looks back at the container and his expression of puzzlement darkens. "Puny god!"

Another deafening sound, this time from overhead, seizes everyone's attention. Dust rains down as the roof comes off with a screech of twisting metal, and there, barely visible through the haze, is the scarlet and gold energies of Wanda Maximoff and Carol Danvers. The paired gleams cut effortlessly through the fog and reach down for them.

The Hulk turns and beats a hasty retreat through the wall opposite the one he entered through, leaving his friends in what little is left of the building.

It's Pepper who breaks the awkward silence. "Do we have a deal?"

A few minutes later, the women lead Loki away while the men lounge about on pallets. Loki smugly waves goodbye before being engulfed.

"I think I'm going to need couples counseling," sighs Tony.

"If you find a good counselor," Thor says, "let me know."

"Me too." That last one came from Clint. The others stare at him, then the questions begin.