GARFIELD QUICKIE!

[We see Jon eating some food on the table and Garfield and Odie staring at his food.]

Jon: Why don't you boys go fight or something?

Lyman: Hey Jon!

Jon: Hi, Lyman.

Lyman: I'm starving. We got anything to eat?

Jon: Nothing. I'm eating the last of the food.

[Lyman joins Garfield and Odie in staring at Jon's food.]


Our story opens up in the Arbuckle house, where we see Odie playing with Garfield.

"Jon! Come quick!" Lyman called Jon.

Jon ran out of his room and down the hall. "What is it, Lyman?"

"The impossible has happened!" Lyman exclaimed. "Garfield and Odie are playing together! I never thought I'd see the day."

"I know." said Jon. "It's cause a sprayed Garfield with something. It's called Essence of Lasagna."

"It's amazing what the perfume company will make these days." Garfield thought.

"Anyways, I need your help, Lyman." said Jon. "You know how I've been trying to find a woman?"

"As if we couldn't tell from all those calls in your little black book?" Garfield rolled his eyes.

"What about it, Jon?" asked Lyman.

"Well, I found a woman and she's coming over for dinner tonight." said Jon.

"Congrats, buddy!" Lyman patted Jon on the back.

"She must be blind." Garfield thought.

"Unfortunately, I have a little dilemma." Jon added. "You see, she hates cartoonists, cats, and cartoonists with cats."

"Wow, she most likely is blind." Garfield rolled his eyes.

"But how'd you get her to come over here for dinner?" asked Lyman.

"I told I was a rich, successful doctor, laywer and the winner of the Nobel Prize." Jon chuckled nervously. "That's kind of what I did. PS, I also sort of told her that you were my butler."

"Figures Jon would live in a world of delusions." Garfield thought.

"I guess I should've seen that coming." Lyman deadpanned. "So, you want me to pretend to be your butler and hide our pets when she comes, right?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do." Jon said bluntly.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Oh no! That's her!" Jon gasped. "Quick, go hide the pets in the basement and go make us some Italian subs!"

"Okay boys, time to go downstairs!" Lyman said as he grabbed Garfield and Odie.

Lyman threw the duo into the basement and went into the kitchen to make some food.

At that same time, Jon went to the door and saw his lovely date, a pretty young woman.

"Hey Jon." said the woman.

"Oh hey Lisa, I didn't really expect you to come." said Jon. "Come on in."

Jon escorted Lisa into the kitchen.

"Wow, this is a nice place, do you live here?" asked Lisa.

"Why, of course I do." Jon chuckled. "After all, a doctor/lawyer can only do so much with such a one-story house like this one."

"So, where are your Nobel prizes?" asked Lisa.

"My Nobel Prizes? Oh yeah, that..." Jon stammered. "Well, I seem to have left them at my beach house in San Jose."

"You have a beach house?" Lisa gasped.

"Of course, I just don't travel there often." Jon boasted.


Meanwhile downstairs in the basement, Garfield and Odie were sitting on Lyman's bed, trying to think of what to do.

"Jon can't do this to us!" Garfield frowned. "It's completely inhumane! It's unethical! It's just plain animal cruelty!"

"Ruff! Ruff!" Odie tugged on Garfield's fur and pointed to something.

"Not now Odie, I've gotta find a way to get back upstairs and get that food!" Garfield ignored Odie.

Odie tugged on Garfield's fur again and tried to show him what he was pointing to.

"Odie! Can't you see I'm busy?" Garfield hissed as he swatted the little beagle away.

Odie then landed up against the wall and there was a window.

"Well what do you know? There's a window!" Garfield looked at the window. "Sure glad I found it. Come on, Odie."

Odie sighed and followed Garfield to the window.


Back upstairs, Jon and Lisa were still waiting for their dinner to arrive.

"...so, after I got my masters, I started playing semi-pro football in my spare time." Jon continued trying to woo Lisa. "But enough about me, what about you?"

"Well, I'm a dancer." Lisa replied.

"Oh, you mean like ballet?" asked Jon.

"Something like that." Lisa shrugged. "Anyways, when is our dinner getting here?"

Just then, Lyman (dressed as a butler) arrived with the Italian subs that Jon asked for.

"Oh here comes my devoted manservant, Lyman with our dinner." Jon smirked.

"Here you go, Jon." He said as he placed the subs on the table. "Here are the subs."

"What is this?" Jon asked Lyman.

"What you said, two Italian subs!" Lyman retorted.

"No Lyman, I specifically asked for lobster!" Jon lied. "But I guess it will have to do!"

"Enjoy your meal, sir!" Lyman growled.

While Jon and Lisa were eating, Garfield peeked out the window, eyeing that tasty Italian sandwich.

"Look at that, Odie." He glared at Jon and his date. "Jon enjoying all that food and locking us in that basement, just to impress some floozy! That should be my sandwich!"

"Ruff!" Odie tried to hold onto Garfield.

"I've gotta get inside and show that jerk whose boss!" Garfield thought. "But how? Jon locked the pet door."

Suddenly, Odie lost his balance and he and Garfield tumbled down to the ground.

"Stop lying around Odie, we need to get inside the house and get that food." Garfield glared at Odie. "And I have a plan on how we can do that."


Back inside, Jon was still trying to impress his date.

"So Lisa, you like movies? Cause I had a cameo in one of them." Jon boasted.

"Oh really? What movie did you cameo in?" asked Lisa.

Jon gulped. "Well, um...uh, well, it was the one featuring Denzel Washington with that actress."

"What actress?" asked Lisa.

"Well, you know, that one in that movie, with that scene..." Jon nervously chuckled.

At that same time, Garfield and Odie made it to the living room, via the chimney.

"Santa Claus ain't the only one who can climb down a chimney." He thought. "Now I've gotta get those subs. Normally, I would try something subtle, but I'm desperate for some grub."

Swallowing his pride, Garfield charged towards the dining room and pounced right on the food, making a big mess onto Jon and Lisa.

"AAAAHHHH!" Lisa screamed. "A CAT! GET IT JON!"

"GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE KITCHEN?" Jon snapped as he picked up his cat.

"Enjoying myself." Garfield smirked.

"Jon! What is that cat doing in here, and why are you calling it, Garfield?" Lisa stood up.

Jon tried to talk. "Well Lisa, um...you see, I..."

"Never mind!" Lisa snapped. "Get that hairball out of here! You know I hate cats!"

"You are very culturally deprived, lady!" Garfield hissed.

"Make up your mind, Jon!" Lisa barked. "It's either me, or that cat!"

Jon gulped. "Well..."


Soon enough, Garfield, Jon, Odie, and Lyman were sitting down at the couch watching some television together.

"Well folks, looks like Jon made up his mind." Garfield looked at the viewers. "If you ask me, he did the right thing. The measure of a man is his cat."

"Well Jon, I hope you've learned your lesson." Lyman said to Jon.

"You mean never lie to impress some chick I just met?" asked Jon.

"I was going to say to keep the pets in a cat carrier next time, but I guess that works too." Lyman shrugged.

"We're bachelors for life, baby." Garfield smiled at the viewers.

THE END!


Author's Note:

And so, comes another end to a Garfield story! Stay tuned for another one coming real soon!