A few days later…

The bright yellow school bus came to a halt at the curb, and Calvin jumped down the steps to the sidewalk, taking in a lungful of non-school air. After a long day of learning about second grade and what it had to offer, an afternoon full of cartoons and general laziness appealed to him greatly. He landed on the pavement with a smile, glad to see his home. After being so sure he'd never see it again, the sight of that middle-class two-story home gave him a great feeling of security.

Footsteps behind him alerted him that Susie was coming down as well. He stepped aside to let her down, and once she was by his side, the bus drove away.

"So…," he said.

She raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. "So what?"

Calvin couldn't help but smirk. "My parents mentioned how you apparently brutally tortured a monster for information."

Susie blinked, clearly trying to appear nonchalant despite blushing with embarrassment. "Did they? Well, I… I mean… It was just… You know, we needed information, and…"

Calvin's smirk deepened. "Always suspected you had a twisted side somewhere in there."

Susie glared, but then, he saw a twinkle of wickedness. "Yeah, what of it?" she replied.

Calvin shrugged. "I dunno… Might need your help again if ever someone needs the corkscrews put to 'em."

"… I'll think about it," she replied, a playful grin on her face, before she turned and walked home.

Calvin watched her leave, amused yet thoughtful. Imagine a situation where he willingly called on Susie Derkins for help. Still, stranger things happened - frequently, in fact. Shrugging, he turned and made his way up the walk to his house and ripped open the front door.

"I'M HOME!" A millisecond later, he added, "Oops."

He lost himself in a flash of orange, black and white, something wrapped around his midsection, and the world blurred as he sailed backwards into his yard, kicking up dirt and grass. He grappled with his assailant, sending them both rolling end-over-end until they collided with the shrubbery.

"You stupid mangy hairball!" Calvin shouted. "Get off of me, you shameless carnivore!"

"Seven years old, finally in second grade, and you still haven't honed those survival instincts!" Hobbes replied with a laugh.

The wrestling continued for a few minutes until they felt too exhausted to even blink, so they lay on their backs and looked up at the passing clouds.

"What do you think, Hobbes?"

"About…?"

"The future. I mean, I used to think that if we ever defeated our enemies, we'd finally be able to live in peace and quiet, have a happily ever after. But here we are, two of our greatest foes well and truly beaten, and the rest ceasing any and all evil activity, and it doesn't feel like anything ended."

Hobbes considered this for a moment. "Well, that's the beauty of it," he said at last. "The story doesn't end. We just… keep going. Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep living until we reach our natural conclusion."

"I'm not sure if that's the 'beauty' of it. I mean, I'm going to be learning multiplication soon, and you know math is my worst subject."

Hobbes nudged him. "You know what I mean. Even if we run out of supervillains, we'll always have more challenges to overcome, and when we knock down all of them, we'll have more challenges to overcome. You get it?"

"I don't know, but I suddenly want to go bowling…"

"On the ball, as always. So, how was school?"

"Oh, you know, the public education system is a joke, but hey. Moe's still trapped in Miss Wormwood's class while I get to stay safe and sound in Mrs. Screwtape's."

"... Your teachers have weird names."

"She's still nicer, and so far, way less of a taskmaster. Plus, I couldn't find any whisky bottles in her desk, so I think she's a much happier person."

Hobbes gave him a teasing grin. "Do you still have to sit next to Susie…?"

Calvin crossed his arms defensively. "Yeah. What of it?"

"Must be comforting knowing she's there whenever you need her."

"Hmph! I'll have you know I intend to use my own knowledge for my test papers from now on! No more wandering eyes from me!"

"I see… Well, at least you'll have her for emotional support."

"Yeah… Wait, what?!"

This prompted yet another fight, and they went tumbling for a few more minutes until they collapsed by the mailbox.

As they got their breath back, Calvin laid out on his stomach and looked at the grass contemplatively. "There's still one thing that still baffles me."

"What's that?"

"The Entity. Why did it go to Andy? What made him so special? If it needed something to happen, why not come to us? Or Retro or Rupert? Why him?"

Hobbes thought for a moment. "I don't know…," he said at last. "Maybe it had to do with Andy being the first person other than you to see me."

Calvin nodded faintly, then frowned as his friend's words resonated with his brain. "What do you mean?"

Hobbes patted him on the shoulder. "Very long story, and I only kinda understand it myself."

"Huh?"

"Oh, very well. You got me. I don't understand it at all. But hey, maybe someday I will, and then I can explain it to you. Until then, I'm pretty confident it's not important anyway."

Calvin blinked. "Um… okay."

"See? It all works out."

They heard footsteps on the pavement, and they looked up to spot Andy approaching with Sherman in his hands and Socrates behind them.

"Looks like we missed a darn good tussle," remarked Andy.

"Not to worry," said Sherman. "With these two, there's bound to be another one in a minute or so."

"Feel free to join in, Vermin," Hobbes replied snidely, flashing his fangs.

"So what's the plan for today?" asked Socrates eagerly.

Calvin shrugged. "I don't know. After all the rush-rush-rush we've had these past few… however long it's been… I feel like just relaxing in this very spot for a while."

"Sound idea," said Andy, sitting down with him.

"Agreed," said Sherman, snuggling into Andy's mop top hair.

"What, that's it?" asked Socrates, sounding disappointed. "No battles to fight? No evil to vanquish? No chain letters to trace back to the source?!"

"Please don't bring that up," Calvin grumbled. "Not one of our best stories."

"We were so young," added Hobbes wistfully.

"But there must be something we can do!" Socrates complained. "I need something for my viewers! They're getting antsy! I need views, darn it! My advertising revenue is drying up!"

"My heart bleeds," Sherman muttered sleepily.

Andy looked thoughtful. "You know, it's weird, but I feel like I should go back to Egypt and see how those mummies who thought I was their pharoah are doing. Probably could have revisited that…"

Hobbes shrugged. "Eh, you know how it is. Some things get left hanging."

"I'll say," agreed Calvin. "Remember when we had to deal with that monkey? Man, that was a weird day…"

"Or the time we went to Dubai and absolutely nothing happened," put in Sherman.

"Yeah, but we got travel miles out of that one," said Andy.

"Oh, come on!" complained Socrates. "We're just going to do nothing?!"

"Nothing is pretty awesome, Socrates, you should try it," said Hobbes, enjoying the sun.

"Yeah, let us enjoy it. Preferably by not talking," added Calvin.

Socrates heaved a petulant sigh. "Oh, very well." He got down on the ground with the others and pulled out his phone, switching to camera mode. "Well, humble viewers," he said sadly, "I'm afraid this is where it all ends. The grand finale. The last page. The great-big-ending-thing. I thank all my viewers and subscribers who have joined me in my journey of self-discovery. Perhaps you shall hear from me again, working on cheap movies or writing a self-published book. Whatever support you've shown me has been greatly appreciated - even the annoying support. You know who you are. Anyway, my friends and I are grateful to you for sticking with us. Right, guys?"

The others stared blankly at him.

Socrates hissed at them. "Come on! Show your appreciation to the viewers at home!"

Calvin rolled his eyes and addressed the phone. "Okay, fine. Socrates' viewers: thank you for your continued support for the last however-long-Socrates-has-been-recording-us, because he's probably been doing this the whole time," he said, ignoring Socrates' affronted look, "and we look forward to not being recorded by him anymore because, frankly, we need our privacy."

"Yeah, seriously," added Sherman. "I spend all night editing out all the weird stuff he films."

Socrates frowned. "Wait… you edit my vlogs?"

"For the sake of your viewers and us, yes, I do."

"Socrates, just wrap this up, please?" sighed Andy. "We've got precious relaxing time to get to."

"Fine, fine," Socrates grumbled, readdressing the phone. "So faithful viewers, this is the last one for the road, but we are super-grateful to you. Our world has grown, time is moving forward, and we're all gonna grow up. But the evil has been vanquished, so the big exciting worthy-of-being-told part of the story is over, and now it's time for the too-boring-for-day-to-day-viewing part of the story, and everyone always skips that bit anyway. So from here to eternity, this is Socrates saying…"

He paused, frowning.

"Can anybody else hear that?"

The others looked up, confused.

Hobbes' acute feline hearing kicked in. "Wait… I hear something, too."

They all followed the tiger's eyeline towards the city on the horizon, and they realized the noise consisted of heavy footsteps and a loud otherworldly screech straight out of a Japanese monster movie. From behind the buildings, they saw a giant scaly lizard emerge, howling angrily.

Then, a familiar British accent cut through the air. "Emergency. Emergency. There's an emergency going on."

Calvin pulled the MTM out of his pocket. "MTM - what the heck is that?"

"Looks like a giant lizard monster."

"Yes, but why is there a giant lizard monster?!"

"Probably fell into our world by mistake via a tear in the space-time continuum. Happens a lot after Labor Day."

"Oh, how fun," sighed Hobbes.

"MTM - summon the wagon from the hypercube!"

"Roger dodger."

There was a flash from the MTM's side, and out spewed the little red wagon in a flash of light. It clattered on the ground before them.

"Everybody inside!" Calvin ordered. "Andy - attach the MTM to the back and activate 'fan mode'."

"On it," replied Andy as they all clambered inside.

"Calvin!"

They all jumped at the voice and spotted Calvin's mom standing in the doorway, looking concerned.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"We're going to go stop the monster, Mom!" he said, pointing.

Mom looked and saw all the cars driving past and helicopters flying around as the giant monster continued to stomp around and roar at everything around it.

"Okay, be back before dinner!" she said at last. "And be careful!"

"I will!"

Once the door slammed shut, Hobbes gave him a knowing look. "We won't be back for dinner, will we?"

"Eggplant casserole," Calvin replied with a look of revulsion. "MTM - fan mode."

"Aye-aye, captain," MTM replied.

As the giant fan extended from the CD player, Socrates' face lit up. "Oh, that reminds me!" He pulled his phone out again. "Sorry about the interruption, fans!" he said cheerily. "Looks like the good fight never truly ends! So don't worry about us! We'll be plenty busy! So be sure to like and subscribe, and as always…"

"SOCRATES!" the others shouted.

"Okay, okay, I'm stopping!" he grumbled, putting the phone away.

They rocketed down the sidewalk and into town, bearing down on the monster.

"So what's the plan?" Hobbes asked over the noise.

"I plan to wing it and see what happens!" Calvin replied.

Hobbes nodded. "Staying the course?"

"Playing to my strengths!"

And with that, Calvin and Hobbes, surrounded by friends and chaos, rocketed towards their next adventure.

THE END


Author's Notes: And that's the way it is. A big thanks to everyone who has supported Swing and I through writing these stories - including the pre-rewritten versions, you brave souls - and we hope to see you all again someday. God knows what's going to happen next, but I'm just glad we've finished writing the story at long last.

Also, side note, because some have asked: no, Which Way is Where is no longer canon. Unless we decide to rewrite it, and if we do, it'd be with a different villain. But for now, it's not canon to the 'verse.

Anyway - thanks for wading through fifteen years worth of stuff we wrote. It's great to have the story finally over. Time to relax.

See you in the funny pages!