Chapter 1: Doubts and Preparations

For several months now, Richard Hardbeck and Angela De'Ath have seen themselves as a steady couple. They had both realised some time ago that their relationship was the 'real thing'. They both felt that their partner satisfied a deeply felt need. Their first meeting had been a bit, to say the least, abrasive, but their subsequent encounter at Nürnburg in Germany was a revelation for both of them. One possible problem was that Angela was a Catholic, and that Richard had been brought up in the Anglican tradition. However, he had already become quite interested in the concept of the Catholic Church. Before he had latched on to heavy metal music, he had been enthralled by the settings of the Catholic mass by various classical composers, particularly the Requiem settings by Verdi and Berlioz. For a long time, he had felt that it was the 'true' church with St. Peter as its first earthly leader. His encounter with Angela in Germany, and their subsequent time together in Poland resurrected his interest in her Catholic faith. Now he was her boyfriend, he had started to attend Sunday Mass with her, now and again, and was beginning to see the point in this style of worship.

As the months passed, Rich started to attend Sunday Mass more frequently with Angela in their local Catholic Church, and sometimes in Clifton Cathedral. He gradually came to realise that he was destined eventually to convert to Catholicism himself if he was to pursue his relationship with Angela to a conclusion. He began, quite independently of her to make enquiries about an adult brought up as an Anglican becoming a Catholic. He found out about the Rite of Catholic Initiation for Adults (R C I A). Fortunately, his local church was going to run a series of sessions during the coming months. Angela, of course, was really happy to be his sponsor, as this meant that he was taking both religion and their relationship seriously.

The only fly in the ointment was his perception of the role of the Virgin Mary in the church. He had felt that Catholics worshipped her as a minor deity. Angela was troubled by this attitude of Rich, but she did not want it to destroy their relationship. She had latched on to Rich's positive qualities and realised that that he was just the kind of young man she would want as a lifetime companion.

For some time, she was fretting about how to disabuse Rich of this opinion about the Virgin Mary. She had had some arguments with him on this subject, but couldn't seem to be able to persuade him that Catholics only looked on the Virgin Mary as an intercessor between man and God, and that this was a two-way process. Of course, she told him about the appearances of the Virgin Mary at such places as Fatima and Lourdes. She also mentioned that she was still appearing to visionaries at Me?ugorje in Bosnia and Herzegovina. She also, once again, went through the words of the 'Hail Mary' with him, explaining that the first part was merely quoting the words of the archangel Gabriel and those of Mary's cousin Elizabeth, while the second part was a request for Mary to intercede between ourselves and Jesus. She also pointed out that the 'Hail Holy Queen' was not a prayer of worship, but another request for intercession.

By coincidence, at about this time, Angela's parish was in the process of organising a pilgrimage to Me?ugorje. Angela felt this would be an opportunity to demonstrate Mary's role in the church to Rich, but she would not, at least initially, call it a pilgrimage.

The couple were together, as usual, in their favourite bar on a Saturday evening when Angela decided to broach the subject to Rich.

"Richard," said Angela, cautiously, "Would you like to come on a week's holiday with me?"

"Certainly!" said Rich, "Where are we going?"

"I've got to think about that one." said Angela, mysteriously, "But it'll be somewhere not on everyone's idea of a normal destination."

"Now I'm intrigued, but a bit suspicious." said Richard, "I suspect you're trying to tell me something without actually telling me."

"I think you've seen through my plan," said Angela, "So I might as well be completely open about it."

"Well, that is usually the best policy." said Rich, "What's the catch? I'm sure there is one."

"The 'holiday' is, in fact, a pilgrimage." said Angela, "Hear me out. We will be going to that small town I mentioned, called Me?ugorje, where three people are still seeing frequent visions of the Virgin Mary. She first started appearing in 1981."

"And you think going there and taking part in the activities might change my mind?" said Rich.

He paused for thought. He had already made a deep emotional and spiritual investment in Angela, and he didn't want to lose that investment over something fairly minor. It was obvious from her demeanour when she mentioned it that she wanted to go on the pilgrimage with or without him.

"Oh well," he said, "In for a penny, in for a pound, I suppose. I'll come along, but I can't guarantee that it will change my mind."

"I know you're sensitive to the 'atmosphere' of a place," said Angela, "So I know that Me?ugorje will have an effect on you."

"What kind of activities will I be expected to take part in?" asked Rich.

"Nothing is compulsory." said Angela, "But you will be encouraged to attend Mass each day, pray the Rosary and visit the locations of the first apparitions. For this last one, you'll need good shoes, as the terrain on the way up to the apparition site is quite rocky. You may also be invited to climb the Cross Mountain, Krizevac, while praying the 'Stations of the Cross'. You'll remember them from the Fridays during Lent last year."

"What's the accommodation like?" asked Rich, "The word 'pilgrimage' suggests something somewhat spartan."

"If it's anything like the last time I went," said Angela, "We were in a quite nice hotel, about ten minutes walk from St. James's church. They provided breakfast and dinner. We had to find our lunch ourselves. It certainly wasn't spartan."

"Will there be any, shall we say, 'secular' activities during the pilgrimage?" asked Rich.

"I don't know what is going to be organised this time," said Angela, "But when my folks took me there a couple of years ago, we visited Mostar during the week, and had several hours in Dubrovnik on the way back to the airport on the last day."

"Isn't Dubrovnik the place where a lot of that new television series 'Game of Thrones' is being filmed?" asked Rich.

"It most certainly is." said Angela, "It stands in for a place called 'King's Landing' in the television series."

"You're beginning to persuade me that this 'pilgrimage' might actually be interesting," said Rich, "If only for the 'extra-curricular' activities."

"Since we've been together," said Angela, "You've got to know the Rosary. You're familiar with the stations of the cross, and lately, you've been attending Mass with me nearly every Sunday. You'll do fine in Me?ugorje. We'll be spending a lot of time together having a very special experience."

"I think you've persuaded me?" said Rich, "Yes, I'll come with you. It'll be worth it as a new shared experience."

"Thank you." said Angela, "I'll sort things out with mum and dad. Then let you know the exact dates, so you can plan."

That's brilliant." said Rich, "Is there anything special I have to take?"

"Strong shoes and your rosary beads." said Angela, "Otherwise pack for going somewhere where the weather is a bit unpredictable. Even if you forget your rosary beads, there will be plenty of places in the town where you can buy a set. The pilgrimage is at the end of May, so it should be quite warm."

"Religious people, like monks, get up very early to hear Mass." said Rich, "Will we have to do that?"

"No," said Angela, "But we might have to start just before dawn on the day we climb Krizevac. It gets too hot at that time of the year if we start later. As I said, nothing is compulsory, so you don't have to climb it if you don't want to."

"Now, you're challenging me." said Rich, "I'll certainly give it a try."

So, Angela had managed to persuade Rich to go with her to Me?ugorje. By this time, he was on very good terms with the local parish priest, who guided him through the steps necessary to be converted to Catholicism, first reconciliation, first communion and confirmation. He was confirmed on Easter Day, March 31st, at Clifton Cathedral, with his own parents' total approval. With their children's relationship with each other being so strong, the four parents had also become very close friends.

The pilgrimage to Me?ugorje was scheduled for the last full week in May. They were to fly from Bristol Airport to Dubrovnik on the early afternoon of Monday 20 May, then take a coach from there to Me?ugorje. During the weeks leading up to it, there were several meetings of the prospective pilgrims with the organiser within the parish. Rich enjoyed these as he was getting to know new people in a different environment from what he had been used to. His preconceptions about the kind of people who went on pilgrimages were gradually being eroded. These weren't ultra-pious individuals who were close to becoming monks or nuns, but ordinary human beings like him.

During his final year at Roundview, Richard, encouraged by Angela, also started to attend a small prayer group devoted to 'Our Lady, Queen of Peace'. As he attended these meetings, his thoughts about the Catholic attitude to the Virgin Mary were also changing. He was giving more thought to the words of the principal Marian prayers, the Hail, Holy Queen and the Hail Mary. He was also encouraged by Angela to, when he could spare a little time, pray five decades of the Rosary each day.

During this time, he was still keeping in touch with his old friends from Roundview College. Of these, Alo was the most surprised at his transformation, and was not backward in commenting on it.

"So, the 'Devil's disciple' is changing sides then." said Alo, as they met in their regular bar.

"You could put it that way." said Rich, "I now truly believe that Angela is now my angel of life. I'd do anything within reason and most things beyond reason for her. I love her completely and unconditionally."

"I can see that." said Alo, "You also seem to be different, more serene somehow."

"Do I?" asked Rich, "I know I feel very different. I feel that my life is following a definite course at last. I feel peaceful. How are things with you?"

"Mini's happy." said Alo, "Motherhood seems to suit her, as does life on the farm. We both so love little Grace. I didn't realise I could feel like that about a baby. It's wonderful. Anyway, I hear you're going on a pilgrimage."

"News travels fast." said Rich, "How did you find that out?"

"Grace told me." said Alo, "Angela probably told her. It's towards the end of May, isn't it? Where are you going?"

"We're going to a little place you might not have heard of." said Rich, "It's called Me?ugorje. It's in Bosnia and Herzegovina."

"What's special about it?" asked Alo.

"Since 1981," said Rich, "The Virgin Mary has been appearing to six visionaries over there. All of them are still alive and three are still seeing her on a daily basis. She has been transmitting messages to mankind via these visionaries since she first appeared to them.

"That sounds hard to believe, but quite interesting." said Alo, "Does she appear to anyone else?"

"Sometimes, but mainly to the visionaries." said Rich, "Or so Angela tells me."

"And do you believe her?" asked Alo.

"I've no reason not to." said Rich, "I trust her. We seem to have developed a beautiful connection. She's special."

"You've really got it bad." said Alo, half joking, "That October, I never would have believed that 'metalhead' Rich could be so affected by a woman."

"Well," said Rich, "Times change, and so do we. I'm beginning to see Angela as my future. I'm sure you feel the same way about Mini."

"Touché!" said Alo, "But in my case, there's a baby involved, little Grace. You don't have that complication."

"No, but I do have a deep, enduring love for someone of a different faith." said Rich, "I'm fully prepared to adopt that faith for the sake of our relationship. It almost seems the next logical step in our story."

"This girl, Angela," said Alo, "How does she feel about you?"

"I can say with confidence that she totally loves me." said Rich, "Why else would she want to take me on this pilgrimage?"

"What sort of things are you expected to do?" asked Alo, "Spend a lot of time praying, I guess."

"She hasn't told me much about it," said Rich, "But I assume prayers will take up a lot of time."

This conversation continued for some time with Alo trying to ascertain what his friend was going to get out of the pilgrimage. Eventually, Alo realised that Rich's motives were genuine and that he was thinking really seriously about his spiritual future.

By this stage in the preparations, Rich was anticipating the journey to Me?ugorje with considerable pleasure. He would be spending a lot of time with Angela in a tranquil, spiritual environment, and would, hopefully learn even more about her. His feelings about the Virgin Mary were now coming more into line with hers and his scepticism about her role as a minor deity had all but disappeared.

As the date of the pilgrimage approached, Rich started to attend the weekday mass at his local church when his work commitments would allow it. He was working part-time at the offices of a local newspaper. Angela, who was also working part-time attended the weekday masses when she could. Easter proved to be a special time for both of them as Rich became a full member of the Catholic Church. Angela was his sponsor.

As May approached, Angela and Rich were getting quite excited at the prospect of the pilgrimage. They attended as many weekday masses as a they could. The also made sure that they were available to attend all the small group prayer meetings.

The last main Catholic celebration before their departure was Pentecost, the coming of the Holy Spirit to the apostles a short time after the Ascension. Angela took advantage of this to explain the five 'Glorious' mysteries of the Rosary and the role of the coming of the Holy Spirit in them.

At last, the day of departure arrived. All the prospective pilgrims, including Angela and Rich, gathered at Bristol Airport for the flight to Dubrovnik. The pilgrimage was on.