Chapter Four: A message sent

I don't know how long I sat on that bed. Grey Worm had been attacked, and an arrow had hit him in the upper right shoulder. They had sent medical attention to him right away. This moment all I could remember was the blood on the pavement, waves of nausea went through my body. I should have known Cersei would send someone to kill me. I, however, didn't think she would send Euron Greyjoy. The man that murdered my dragon. A part of me wanted to kill him at sight, but I needed information from him. He knew things, and I find out what he knew. I had asked the guards to bring Euron to the dungeons; there, he would wait for interrogation. In my mind, he didn't deserve kindness; he deserved to be punished for the lives that he had taken.

I got up from the bed and felt a rush of emotion. I felt guilty; Grey Worm had stepped in front of me. He had risked his own life so I would live. I thought about him; he had lost Misandei; they were supposed to be happy together. And now only his duty remained. When I got up, a wave of nausea hit me. I ran towards the window emptying the contents of my stomach. My whole world was spinning; I could only think about what had happened to me. Drogon was somewhere around the city. If I needed him, he would arrive within seconds. When I looked out of the window, I saw him in the sky.

Even after all this time, he still looked beautiful to me. I wondered what Drogon would do to Euron Greyjoy, the man that had killed his brother. If I looked at him, I knew he would want revenge for his brother, and I wanted to same, but I needed to play this game. I needed to get information that could lead me to Cersei Lannister.

I turned around and returned to bed. In all truth, I felt better when I lay down on the bed. I assumed the emotions of the last months were getting to me. I had never really stopped to feel any emotion; I always kept moving forward. Now the list of deaths in my life came to my mind, and I felt pain for each of them. I felt stronger for those more recent, but every pain that I hadn't left myself feel had come back. I don't think I could explain what I felt to anyone.

A knock at the door, Tyrion entered my sleeping quarters. I sat up as I stared at him. He walked closer; I saw that he wasn't quite sure what to say. People who entered this room didn't know how to speak to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "I'm sorry for asking, but you've been looking pale the last days. I have the urge you to remain…"

"I know…" I lay my head down. "I have been eating. Jon has been making sure I would. Have you spoken to Euron Greyjoy? Has he said anything about Cersei?"

"Well, we can almost be sure that Euron Greyjoy did what Cersei asked him." He looked at me in guilt. "I'm sorry, Daenerys. I had no idea that Cersei would do such thing. I mean, it's complicated, she played me. She used her situation in her advance, that's what she always does, but I truly believe she loves her child. She would do everything for her child."

"Well, that is useful." I wanted to stand up, but couldn't. "So she wouldn't attack me herself; she would fear the safety of her child. I have told my army to spare Cersei on sight. I've given the message with the utmost importance. Euron, I don't know what to do with. He's killed Rhaegal; I want him punished for his crimes of war. I'm sure I'm not the only one he's committed crimes against. You are my hand; what do I do? I can't give him a trail, which gives him a right for a trial by combat. I know you know what that means. He can't get away, but after the mistakes I made. I don't want to make a mistake again, but I can't let him get away with it. No one can think it's okay, to assassinate anyone. So what do I do?"

"You'll make mistakes." Tyrion watched me. "Any good ruler makes mistakes."

"I know everyone makes mistakes, but why do I feel like I can't afford any mistakes anymore? It was Varys who believed I was unfit to rule with compassion. He thought Jon was better. What if he's right? What if…"

"The fact you speak your fears towards me is a good start…" He looked at me. "Every person has the impulse to make mistakes; we're all human, Dani. Don't forget that; you've been through a lot in the fast month. You've lost a lot, and you've been able to keep yourself from drowning. That tells a lot about what kind of ruler you would be. And about Euron, I don't know what to do with him. I do know we need to keep talking to him; maybe we could Cersei's whereabouts out of him."

"Yes, you should keep trying." I stood up, slowly walked towards the window. The Targaryen banners were still waving in the wind. A soft smile appeared on my lips. I turned to Tyrion once again. "How is Grey Worm?"

"He was lucky," Tyrion said. "We were able to save him. However, he is mad, they killed Missandei, and now they tried to kill you, his queen. He wants blood. He wants to search the city for Cersei."

"I highly doubt if Cersei is still in King's Landing. And searching the whole of Seven Kingdoms is no use. There are other priorities now. We need to get everyone after our cause. Peacefully unite the seven kingdoms, behind one ruler with a council representing every kingdom. No more small council, we need the needs of every kingdom represented in our council. Voices that are not represented tend to rebel. Tyrion, I urge you to set up a meeting. One that will decide the future of Westeros."

"Of course, my Queen."

When I looked up, I noticed that Jon Snow was standing in the door opening. His eyes were focused on my face. The last days I had gotten pretty bad at feeling what Jon was thinking. He tried to hide every single emotion from me, and these few days, it had worked pretty well. I think he wanted to spare my feelings, but somehow, I felt cut off from him. I loved Jon Snow; even he was my nephew. Sometimes enjoying him felt weird, but now it felt like something I needed. Something that made my days worth living. I looked at Tyrion when he walked away. Jon took a step closer to me; he asked me to lay down once again. I shook my head; I wanted to stand. I had been sleeping way too much the last days.

"My queen, don't you think you need to see a healer."

"I'm well." I walked to the other side of the room. "You shouldn't worry about me that much. It's all getting to me, times have been stressful."

"It just seems more than that Dani." He looked at her. "I love you; I don't want anything to happen to you. Is it true that you called the leaders of the seven kingdoms?"

"Yes."

"Don't you think that's a bit too stressful right now?" He looked at me. "I think we should wait for some."

I felt a wave of nausea hit me. I ran to the window and threw up the contents of my stomach. Why did this have to happen when he was here, it proved I might not be strong enough. It proved that I shouldn't be calling the lord and the ladies, but I wouldn't show weakness to the kingdom. They needed to know I was ready to change the country.

"I need Sam." I looked at him.

"What do you need Sam for?"

"I told the world I wanted to break the wheel. And I just thought about it; we need to change the way the country is ruled. I think Sam could help me with it. Get me Sam and Gilly to King's Landing. Please."

"I don't think you're ready to think about it." He walked towards me. "Why don't you rest some?"

"I'm not weak." I looked at him. "I'm sick and tired of people feeling sorry for me. I have a kingdom to rule; I have no time for my body breaking down. I need to pull myself together and become the leader I need to be. I need you to be with me."

He kneeled before me; his eyes looked in mine. The last time I had seen so much adoration, it had been from Drogo. Now it was another man, that loved me. He was worried about me, but I didn't need that. My emotions were causing everything; I needed to leave my bedchambers. That way, I would be better off. I took his hand and looked him in the eyes.

"You are my Queen, and I love you more than anything in the world. I will call on Sam for you." He looked me in the eye. "I'm with you every single step of the way. I promise that, but you need to promise to listen to your body. The country needs you if you wish to much of your body, you will break down. I don't want that."

"Okay." He looked me in the eye. "But I'm sure it's…"

"You've been dizzy, you've been sick, this sounds like…"

"Don't say it." I looked at him. "You know that we can't conceive. I don't want you to insinuate that I could be pregnant, because I can't be. It's impossible. I don't want to feed my dreams; I won't be able to handle it."

"Is this still because what the witch said?" His voice sounded kind. "Because she could be…"

"I'm not pregnant." I looked at him. "Can you please leave? I can't handle any more of this hope. I don't want to hope something, to lose it again. So leave. Don't forget to call Sam for me."

"Dani…" He looked at me, he took a step closer, refusing my request to leave. He pulled me in a hug; I invited the gesture. I needed it; I needed to cry. So I did.

"I'm sorry, Jon." I looked him in the eye. "Maybe the hope is too much for me. You don't know how much I have wanted a child in my life, but the dragons are the only ones I will ever get. And I've already lost two of them."

"Maybe things have changed for you…" He looked at me.

"No, those things have no changed." I looked at him. "Get me Sam, and I will change the world children live in. Will you do that for me?"

"I will do anything for you."