(AN: Oh my god it's been so long. Quarantine depression mixed with regular depression made writing really hard. I hope there are still folks who read this after all this time. Happy 5th anniversary, Fallout 4.)


For a town filled with drifters, addicts, misfits and killers, Goodneighbor was impressive. It had its own thriving economy, a justice system that, while violent, got the job done… and the showers had hot water. How, Holly didn't want to ask, for fear of the hot water mysteriously disappearing. Never question a good thing.

Holly dressed in more casual clothes than she'd been wearing the night before. She traded her mix-matched leather and steel armor plates for a red flannel overshirt, a tank top, and jeans that were a size too big, and probably were once fitted for men. She stashed much of her pack away, hidden under a loose floorboard under the bed, but took with her a boot knife, her plasma rifle, cigarettes, and some of her cap stash. Her and Nick had learned that she would have to travel to the Glowing Sea to find some scientist who could help them, and to prepare for the trip would take a while. I might as well relax for a few days.

She left her guest room, locking the door behind her, and turned around toward the stairwell, bumping into a trenchcoated ghoul who was also headed up the stairs.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going."

The ghoul turned to her, and his eyes widened. "You… How? You're that woman from Sanctuary. The wife of Nathan, uh… Strafford? The veteran?"

Her stomach dropped and her heart flew into her throat. "How did you… oh my god. You're that guy from Vault-Tec."

"Tim. Tim Hodges. They wouldn't let me in. The military, Vault-Tec. I was stopped at the gates. The bombs dropped and I became… this."

She grasped his arm and squeezed gently. "I'm so sorry. That's not fair. But would you believe me if I told you you were better off? The few of us who made it into the Vault… we were put into cryosleep. We didn't even know until it was too late. And I'm the only one who made it out alive, I think. It's a long story why, but… everyone else is dead. If you had ended up in the Vault, you would have died too."

He sighed, defeated. "If you had seen what I've seen in the last 200 years… I think I would have been better off dead. Now I'm just a drifter. I have no skills except sales. I have nothing to offer anyone. My husband died when the rest of the world did," his voice broke, "And no one wants to fall in love with a face like this."

She was quick on her feet with an idea. "Go to Sanctuary. My old neighborhood. You'll be safe there, and welcomed with open arms. I'm sure everybody would love it if you opened a shop and started selling… well, whatever you want! Please, Tim. Let me make it up to you."

"This isn't your fault, ma'am."

"No, but it's my responsibility to take care of people who need it. And I'm sensing that you need it."

Tim thought for a moment, meeting Holly's eyes with a deep stare. "They don't mind ghouls?"

"They love ghouls. I don't keep bigots around; everyone who lives in one of my settlements has to be ghoul and synth friendly. Sanctuary is my biggest settlement with the most empty houses. You can have a whole house, Tim."

"Okay. I'll go to Sanctuary. Uh… thank you, Mrs. Strafford. I'm sorry, about your husband and your baby. If you're the only one that made it out of that Vault alive."

Holly nodded. "My husband is gone, but my son is out there somewhere, and I'm going to find him."

"Good luck. Truly." He plodded back into his guest room, likely to start packing his belongings to leave.

She made her way up the spiral staircase, and a small part of her hoped she would run into that John Hancock. Her stomach flipped at the thought before she caught herself. What was that? Stop it. You don't have time to develop crushes on people. You have a son to find.

Although…

It is going to take me a while to be prepared enough to even travel through the Glowing Sea. And even when I get there, I'm betting that scientist guy isn't going to just teleport me to The Institute himself. There will probably be seventeen more steps until I can even get there… this could take months. I'm going to need so much help just to get through this.

John Hancock remained asleep, almost comatose, up in his tower.

Holly made the rounds of Goodneighbor; buying from Cleo, perusing Daisy's wares. Through small talk, they learned that Daisy and Holly had known each other long before the War, on a casual level. Daisy had owned a local grocery market that Holly frequented when she was in the city, not far from where Goodneighbor stood now.

"I was working in my store when the bombs dropped. The radio played the reports from the bombs in DC and New York and we had maybe a minute's warning, so I locked as many of us as I could into the walk-in freezer. I had no idea what was gonna happen, but it was the best thing I could come up with."

"Well, it worked, because you're still here."

Daisy snorted. "Yeah, but the first few decades were a little rough."

"Is that how long it took you to… you know, turn?" Holly felt uncomfortable as soon as she said it.

Daisy glanced around, checking for customers, then placed a "CLOSED" sign on the counter. "Come to the back. I'll tell you all about it."

"There aren't many doctors or scientists alive who care to investigate ghouls, maybe figure out why we turn out this way instead of dying. But when you live as long as I have, and you meet enough ghouls, you tend to learn a lot. The process is always the same, but how long it takes is different for everyone, probably. First is the radiation sickness, have you had any of that yet?"

Holly cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah. A couple months ago I was exploring and had run out of RadAway, thought I would be fine to make it home. I wasn't. I think I barfed up things I ate 200 years ago."

Daisy chuckled. "Yeah, that was the start, but it didn't really stop for a few months. You probably remember better than me, when the tension between countries was real bad, there were all the billboards up everywhere warning against nuclear attacks, how to protect yourself and whatnot."

"Oh, God, I remember those. My husband thought they were so silly."

"Well, they came in handy. We were locked up in the grocery freezer, which pretty much only protected us from the physical blast. Not any radiation. A lot of people died in the freezer within a few days because it was just too much, but the rest of us just got sick. I remembered reading that after two weeks, it might be safe to leave your bunker after an attack… so we just waited. Thank god we were in the freezer so we could eat, but… it was rough. We would open the door to throw the bodies out… and each time the sky looked a little less green. Somewhere in those two weeks my skin started drying and peeling. We left the freezer and just tried to figure out what was next.

"My house was destroyed except for my basement, so I lived in there for a while. Took in strays, other survivors. I turned real slow, starting with my hands and arms peeling and my skin falling off. Then my feet, my legs, my stomach. My face was last. Such a shame. For a broad in my 50's, I was kinda beautiful."

"I think you still are, Daisy."

"Eh," Daisy waved a hand dismissively. "You're just saying that. I always wondered about how some of us turn slow, some of us turn real fast, and why we turn at all when so many other people die instead."

"Someone at the Slog said they thought it had to do with immune systems and genetic mutations. 'Cause we all have mutations, right? Green eyes, blue eyes, blonde hair, red hair, those are all mutations. Maybe in some people there was a gene that was different than everybody else's and the radiation triggered a different effect."

"Hey, that sounds pretty smart, kid. ...Honestly, it was kind of hard for the first decade or so to wonder why I got to survive while so many other people didn't get to. People who probably deserved to live more than me. But, can't change the past, right?"

"Right." Holly stared down at a long-forgotten soda she had been gripping.

"What about that husband of yours?"

Holly had mentioned being cryo-frozen in the Vault, but couldn't bring herself to share her full story one more time. After Daisy opened up, she felt it necessary.

"He died in the Vault. Shot by a mercenary who was kidnapping our son."

"Oh, jeez. I'm so sorry."

"Honestly? It's okay. It's been… oh, god, almost a year since I came out of the Vault, I think? I've had time to take the pain, deal with it, and move on. Plus, I got to kill the mercenary and tell him to go fuck himself for killing my husband and taking my son. Revenge might not be healthy, but it sure feels good."

"Good for you. I've been there. Wasn't lucky enough to get revenge. I just get to live with it."