Hey people! I've wanted to write a HIMYM fanfiction for a long time, so here it is!
Strictly AU.


Kids, I never told you this, but back in the summer of 2007, your Uncle Barney and I got caught up in a secret government investigation.
You see, it all started at McLarens...

"Guys, you see that woman over there?" Barney asked as he sauntered over to the booth while gesturing towards the bar.

Ted, Marshall, Lily and Robin all looked over to the bar. Sitting on one of the stools, was a gorgeous young woman in her early twenties. She had hair blacker than the night sky, eyes as green as freshly cut grass, and skin just as flawless and creamy. She wore a black leather jacket, dark washed jeans and black crop top.

"Wow!" Ted and Marshall exclaimed.

"Who is she?" Lily asked, rather flirtatiously.

Kids, even your Aunt Lily was attracted to this woman. It was crazy how quickly she had been attracted to her.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out!" Barney proclaimed.

"Wait, hold on a minute, Barney. What if she has a boyfriend?" Robin asked, holding Barney back by the sleeve of his suit.

"Please," Barney scoffed, shrugging Robins hand off of him to adjust his suit.

"A woman like that wouldn't come in to a bar if she had a boyfriend. The word single is just screaming off of her!"

Barney looked back over at the woman, who at this point, was cuddled up to a man not much older than her. He too was rather handsome; with tanned skin, coal black hair and piercing blue eyes. A hint of a five o clock shadow graced his chiseled features.

"Damn it!" Barney whined.

"Wait, that could just be some guy trying to hit on her!" Ted reassured.

"Or maybe its' her brother?" Robin asked, lightly twirling her hair.

Barney and the gang looked back over. The couple seemed to look rather platonic, if not, mutual. There were no romantic gestures, nor little kisses. Barney adjusted his tie as he watched the man stand up, adjust his own leather jacket, and then exit the bar.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going in," Barney announced.

"Wait, Barney, don't you think that you should..." But Barney ignored Marshall as he headed on over.

As Barney got closer, he saw just how green those womans eyes were. They almost looked... unnatural. He had never seen a color like them before. Taking a deep breath, he leaned up on the bar and faced her. Instantly, he felt intimidated. The way she looked at him made him want to run away screaming. She looked like she wanted to murder him.

No! Barney Stinson does not let women intimidate him!

"Hi..." Barney stopped as his eyes wandered to her chest. They were at least a 32 C cup. And the rest of her body... yowza! You just knew she was totally in to working out!

"Can I help you?" The woman asked.

Dear god, even her voice sounded intimidating!

"Sorry, wrong person," Barney spoke with an embarrassed laugh, then proceeded to high tail it back to the booth.

"I can't do it. I can't do it! She scares me! Ted, Ted, you- you do it!" Barney stuttered, slowly sitting in the booth.

"W-what? That's ridiculous! Barney, how can she scare you?" Ted scoffed.

Barney took a deep breath, then looked back at the woman. She nursed a scotch on the rocks. He whipped his head back around to stare at Ted.

"Ted, please, I'm just asking you, as my bro! Please! Take this challenge from me!" Barney begged.

"Nobody challenged you," Robin, Marshall and Lily muttered as Ted scratched his head while looking at the woman.

There was a brief moment of pause between the gang before Ted sighed, placed his hands on the table, then rose to his feet.

"Fine. I'll go, but only because I think she's hot!" Ted explained, then walked on over; the gang watching.

Once Ted was up and close, he too noticed how unnatural her green eyes were. But it didn't bother him for too long, nor did her intimidating aura.

"Excuse me," Ted started with a little wave.

The woman looked up.

"Yes?" She spoke.

For a moment, Ted was stunned. Wow... she was gorgeous. He quickly snapped out of it.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but my friend was over here earlier and he tried to talk to you, but you kind of scared him," Ted explained.

The woman smiled.

"I tend to have that affect on people," She replied.

Nodding, Ted sat down beside her.

"I'm Ted," He introduced.

"Elizabeth," She replied and stuck out her hand.

Ted grasped it in a (shockingly) firm handshake. Wow, that was quite a grip for someone with small hands. He took careful notice of it. It didn't look like a dainty hand of a woman. Her nails were short, and her hands were calloused. They were the hands of a hard worker.

"So, Elizabeth, what brings you here to New York?" Ted asked.

"Business, mostly," She replied.

"Oh really? What kind of business are you in?" Ted asked, rather intrigued.

"That's kind of private information..." Elizabeth started.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to pry," Ted apologized. "Where did you come here from?"

"Toronto, Canada," She replied.

And just like that, Teds face beamed! He looked over at Robin and mouthed the words "She's from Canada!"

Robin, clearly able to understand this, began to flip out. She had to meet this woman! She got up and dashed on over.

"I'm sorry, did you say that you were from Canada?" Robin asked, butting in.

Elizabeth turned around and noticed Robin. Instantly, a smile came across her face.

"No... way! You're Robin Sparkles!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

Ted let out a little high pitched giggle as Robin glared daggers at him. He was quick to shut up.

"Yeah, no big deal," Robin spoke, flipping her hair behind her shoulder.

"I was a huge fan of yours when I was little!" Elizabeth drooled.

"Wow, really?" Robin asked, somewhat flattered.

That is, she was for about five seconds before Elizabeth said...

"Yeah, I made fun of how cheesy you were," Elizabeth finished.

And just like that, your Aunt Robins ego deflated.

"Yeah, well, no big deal," Robin spoke, her voice lowered.

Robin trudged on back to the booth. Elizabeth turned her attention back to Ted.

"So, Canada, eh?" Ted spoke up, sipping from his glass.

"Yeah. I've been to New York only once before, but work keeps me from really seeing it," Elizabeth explained.

"I'd really like to take the time to actually tour around."

Ted gave a small grin, then he looked at Barney. A plan was brewing in his brain.

"Did you come here with anyone? My friend Barney and I would love to take you two for a tour. You see, I'm an architect, and I could show you all the amazing buildings here, and well Barney, he knows all the hot spots that make New York... New York," Ted offered.

Elizabeth smiled. Wow, it was a beautiful smile, and not at all intimidating.

"Well, my business partner is the only one that I came here with. He was here a few minutes ago, but he had to go catch up on some stuff before we turned in for the night. I told him that if we had some extra time, we should tour New York together," Elizabeth explained.

Huh, so the man that were here earlier was just a business associate. That made sense.

"Well, invite him along. We'd love to be your tour guides," Ted explained.

"I dunno... I got the feeling that your friend Barney wanted to get some one on one time with me, if you know what I mean," Elizabeth explained through sucked teeth.

Ted looked over at Barney and the others, who just stared at the interaction between the two. Ted knew that Barney would be crushed if this didn't turn in to a double date. Hmm, maybe Ted could hook Barney up with someone. Nah, that was a bad idea.

"Oh, I do have a cute single friend who is living here. I could invite her," Elizabeth explained.

"That's perfect! What's her name?" Ted asked.

"Lila Johnson."

"No way." Ted knew who that was. And he knew that Barney would know who that was.

Kids, before your time, Lila Johnson was a high class fashion model living in New York. She was every where, and she was someone that your Uncle Barney could only dream of being close to.

"We would love to have her join us. Here's my number. Give me a call when you're ready to see New York," Ted explained and wrote down his number on a napkin; handing it over to Elizabeth when he was done scribbling it down.

"Thanks, Ted."

"Oh, and you can still bring your business partner if you want. You don't want to break your promise," Ted told her.

Elizabeth nodded, thanked him, got up from her stool, then walked out of the bar. Ted headed on back to the booth.

"So, so, how'd it go?" Barney asked.

"Yeah, was she as scary as Barney made her out to be?" Lily asked.

"Actually, she was rather nice," Ted began explaining as he took his seat at the booth. "Get this. She's friends with Lila Johnson."

Barney, Robin, Lily and Marshall let out a gasp of surprise.

"Ted, do you realize what you have done!? I FINALLY GET TO MEET THE MODEL OF MY DREAMS!" Barney screamed at the top of his lungs.

He was so excited! Lila Johnson was the hottest and definitely the most available woman in New York City! Barney began to hyperventilate, which was accompanied by some drooling. Lily looked at him with disgust while Marshall looked on with concern. Robin simply rolled her eyes and Ted began to calm Barney down. Oh man, this was going to be so much fun!


Meanwhile across New York City...

Elizabeth entered her hotel room, where her business partner sat at the desk, typing away on his laptop.

"Hey beautiful, what took you so long?" He asked, getting up from his seat and walking over to her. He planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Well, I met some guys at the bar, and one of them gave me his number," Elizabeth casually replied.

"What?"

"I love you, Joshua," Elizabeth chuckled.

She walked on over to the dresser to pull out her pajamas, then proceeded to get changed.

"You let a guy give you his number?" Joshua asked.

"Hey, he offered to give Lila and I a tour of New York City," Elizabeth replied.

"Aw, was I not invited?"

"You can still come."

Joshua chuckled.

"That's what she..."

"Don't!"

Joshua went silent. He and Elizabeth stared at each other for a moment; silence hanging over them.

"Just do it," Elizabeth grinned.

With a smile, Joshua came at her, tackled her to the bed, and the two began to make sweet passionate love.


At Teds apartment...

"I still can't believe that I'm going to meet Lila Johnson!" Barney continued to rave.

At this point, even Ted began to roll his eyes.

"Okay, Barney, I know you're excited, but you've got to calm down. You have no idea what she's going to be like," Ted tried explaining.

"Sure I do. Six feet tall with double Ds bouncing up and down," Barney shrugged.

Again, Ted rolled his eyes.

"What I mean is, you don't know what her personality is like. Models can be vicious," Ted explained as he sat down on the couch.

"Teds right, Barney. Women like her could reject you faster than you could ask them out," Lily chimed in from the kitchen.

"Man, if I had the opportunity to meet a model like that, I'd probably pee my pants," Marshall spoke up with a nervous chuckle.

"Marshall, you'd pee your pants if any woman hotter than Lily came up to you," Barney retorted.

"But you're still hot, Lily," Barney finished.

Lily just nodded at his remark.

"Okay, fashion model aside, how weird is Elizabeth?" Ted asked.

"What do you mean? She's hot!" Barney exclaimed.

"Well... I mean, yeah, she's gorgeous, but did you see her eyes? That was a really unnatural color," Ted remarked.

"What color did you compare them to?" Marshall asked.

Ted thought for a moment.

"You know how when you see a cat and sometimes they have just piercing green eyes?"

Everyone nodded.

"They looked like that."

Lily and Marshall chuckled.

"That's ridiculous. Nobody has eyes green like a cats," Marshall scoffed.

"Oh, but she did," Ted interrupted, his hand slowly rising and lowering the bottle that he held.

He thought back to Elizabeth when they were in the bar. He remembered how she acted around Barney, but immediately softened up around Ted. It was like she knew that Barney was no good; that he had bad intentions. But with Ted... it was like she knew that he was a good guy. And he hadn't really done all that much to prove that he was a nice guy.

Yup, there was definitely something different about Elizabeth. Ted just hoped that he got to know what it was when she decided to get in touch with him.

Kids, she messaged me the next day.


To Be Continued.

So, I haven't been on fanfiction in years, and this is the fandom that I decided to get back in the game with.

If you like where this is going so far, be sure to follow, and leave a review or just your thoughts down below!