Author's Notes: Okay, before we start, I gotta reply to my two guest reviews (I'd do this privately… but, you know, guest reviews. So, sorry about that).

First of all, to the both of you - thanks for taking the time to leave a review. (I know I'm too lazy to ever leave one, so I appreciate the effort.)

GUEST 1:
"Nice little story, looking forward to you continuing it. Definitely enjoying the exchanges between X and Elle a lot. And Jay and Kay got me curious to what they'll discover. Hope to see more soon!

Also, is referring to Jay with she/her pronouns intentional? It having no explanation leaves it as my only complaint.

Good luck!"

Hey there! I'm glad the exchanges between L and X was entertaining - I was a little worried about the snark-to-snark combat, but it's good to see that it worked.

Okay - long story short on the genderbent!Jay issue: long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I read a fanfic with a female Jay in it. I honestly can't remember much of it, but I think I didn't really like the way it was handled (the romance in particular). So, now I'm going to try and see if I can make it work (not the romance - just the partnership dynamic). So far, it's a bit dodgy, but hey, since I've already started with it, I figured I might as well go through with it.

GUEST 2:
"You do realize genderbents are inherently transphobic?"

Huh. Really? I can't say I've ever thought about it like that. Well, I guess what they say is true - you really do learn something new every day.

And now, onwards:


NOT ON EARTH

They're late.

The sight of two MIB agents, one alien doctor and one agar plate of alien bacteria rushing across the terminal - a free-floating space station anchored in more or less the same place to act as a junction between the Triangulum and Andromeda Galaxy - is an odd sight to most people.

Perhaps that is why they've caught the attention of the nearby passengers.

"Damn it, doc," Jay pants as the three (four if one counts Lucy) dashes across the station, "why'd you have to bring Lucy along?"

Zeeltor, unperturbed, replies blithely, "I couldn't pass up the opportunity to test the effects of zero-gravity and hyperspeed and artificial gravity on the metabolism of a-"

"Man, you know what?" Jay rolls her eyes. "Forget I asked! Just run!"

They run.

Of course, they wouldn't have to run if it wasn't for customs stopping the whole group when they thought Lucy was undeclared foodstuffs. Zeeltor quickly convinces them otherwise - apparently Jay isn't the only one who can't stand his technobabble - but not fast enough so that they're not late.

They do, however, make it to their next flight on time, so Jay doesn't complain.

(Much.)

ON EARTH

They're not ghosts.

That much, at least, is clear to Elle. What they are, on the other hand, is an excellent question.

"What are they?" X whispers out of the corner of his mouth, trying to not disturb the otherwise calmly floating… things.

"I," Elle takes her time to put the spectrometer away, "have no idea."

"That was helpful."

"You're welcome."

X isn't sure what sets the ghosts off - maybe they finally had enough of looking at Little Ears' ugly mug - and suddenly, the two agents are bombarded with swarming, hissing ghosts.

Later, X swears that the girly screams that filled the air weren't his. No one can prove anything.

For the moment, though, he's a bit preoccupied with firing into the night sky trying to hit the nasty buggers-

"Stop!" Elle demands, her hands grabbing X's wrists and pointing the De-Atomiser to the ground.

"Are you insane?!" X demands, only to stop when he realises that the ghosts are still diving at them - and not making contact.

One whooshes right through him, and he is surprised to find his body still intact. "What was that?"

"They're not going for us," Elle snaps, and spins around to where all the ghosts have zoomed to. "Look!"

X turns to see the last of the ghosts disappear into the alleyway. After a few moments of staring into the darkness, nothing terrifying looms out of it. "Well, I don't see anything."

"They why don't you use your oh-so-big eyes," Elle points at a spot in the darkness rather forcefully, "and look harder?"

X looks harder.

And suddenly, he's too uncomfortably aware of the many pairs of eyes looking back at him.

"...rats don't usually do that, right?"

...

NOT ON EARTH

Zeeltor's conspicuously bright neon-green bag is the first one they should be able to find - but they do not find it. The two black suitcases - MIB standard issue - might be a little harder to find, but they don't find it either.

The three of them stand there, watching the bags circulate on the conveyor belt, and after ten-minutes-too-long of eyeing the same bags over and over again, the realisation hits them like an unpleasantly goopy pancake - one that seeps in slowly and refuses to leave no matter how hard one might scrub away the taste.

A few inquiries later, the location of their luggage is revealed.

If Kay has less self control, he'd be the one currently screaming, "Are you kidding me?"

Since he has more self-control than Jay, Jay's the one screaming previously mentioned words.

"Interesting," Zeeltor is delighted as ever. "I had no idea losing luggage could bring about such a reaction."

"The Triangulum Galaxy doesn't even sound anything like the Andromeda Galaxy!" Jay complains, throwing her hands into the air in frustration. "How in the universe do you mix those two up?!"

Kay decides that this is the last time they travel by commercial flights.

...

ON EARTH

"Elle, X," Zed begins as soon as the two agents pick up their communicators, only to stop short at their appearance.

Both look as if they've fought a very angry alley cat - and lost.

"What happened to you?"

"This," X replies, lifting a rat by its tail - either dead or merely unconscious, Zed can't really tell - into view of the communicator's camera.

"Already?" Zed, far from looking surprised, looks grim instead. Then again, the man looks grim basically ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the time so X can't really tell if this is an oddity.

"What do you mean 'already'?" Elle, having just fought her way through a swarm of explosive rats, is in no mood for cryptic answers.

"I'll explain when you get back," Zed answers evasively, and Elle is tempted to hurl her communicator to the ground. Zed, perhaps sensing the gist of Elle's thoughts, adds, "Is that rat still alive?"

X peers at the tiny vermin, and rears back in alarm when it twitches a little. "Yes."

"Bring it with you."

Having spent too much time working for the MIB, neither agent questions the order, but that does not stop X from giving the rat a look of disgust and resignation.

NOT ON EARTH

Jay, face down on the table and head pillowed on her folded arms, mutters something.

"Agent Jay?" Zeeltor questions, having not quite heard what she said. "Could you repeat that?"

"Kill me. Kill me now," Jay repeats flatly, and raises her head to look at Zeeltor. "Make it painless and quick. Tell my family I love them."

Zeeltor is pretty sure it's against regulations to murder another fellow MIB employee, but he supposes it doesn't hurt to ask. He turns to Kay, and-

"No," Kay replies without looking away from his newspaper. "Against regulations."

"Sorry, Jay," Zeeltor apologises with a shrug.

"Against regulations?" Jay repeats, sitting up properly, a frown making its way across her face. "Why is that even part of the rules? I mean, did someone actually try to-?"

Kay's gaze flicks over to her for a moment. "Alpha. Amongst others."

"Oh. Oh," Jay winces inwardly. Nicely done, Jay. Sure, why not? She thinks miserably to herself. Bring up the maniacal ex-partner who tried to murder your partner. Open mouth, insert foot. Done. Perfect.

Before she can try to offer an apology, Kay glances at her again, and obviously, some of her guilt is present on her face.

Kay speaks before she can, in a slightly exasperated tone, accompanied with a roll of his eyes. "Stranger things have happened, Slick."

Jay's learned, for a long time now, that the nicknames are Kay's ways of showing affection, something he uses instead of saying I-Don't-Hate-You. Normal people would, of course, simply say so, but Kay's not normal. "...I guess."

Then, "Elbows off the table."

"Yes, mum," Jay replies dryly, but removes her arms anyway. Exasperating her partner is not a trade for manners.

(Aunt Rose raised her to be better than that.)

The table is silent as the three are lost in their own separate activities - Kay is engrossed with the newspaper, Zeeltor is fidgeting with some gadget, and Jay is bored out of her skull.

She admits the view is nice, though. After relaying their flight at the terminal, instead of another claustrophobic ship, they boarded a much larger one, with separate cabins and a dining room. The dining room has panoramic windows into…

Utter blackness, Jay scowls a little at the windows, and absentmindedly stirs her coffee with a teaspoon. Thought there'd be more stars.

She almost wishes for something to happen, then quickly rescinds her thought.

Nope, not gonna go there. You're on vacation… well, sort of.

When the space pirates (Jay sniggers. Who actually calls themselves pirates these days?) storm the dining room, Jay is in equal parts annoyed and thankful.

...

ON EARTH

"Well?" X snarks. "Is it going to live?"

"Yes," Elle replies, then mutters under her breath, "I can't say the same for you."

The rat, now awake, is prowling around its cage, pausing every now and then to glare at the three agents in the Lab.

"You know how creepy that thing is?" X, after the rat gives him another glare, finally asks the room at large.

Elle's reply, something along the lines of takes one to know one is lost in Zed's answer.

"It's going to get worse," the chief replies, eyebrows furrowed in thought, "if I am correct."

"If?" X raises his eyebrows.

"Let's wait for the results to come back," Elle remarks lightly, "before jumping to conclusions, shall we?"

The machine that Elle is working on pings cheerily, and Zed pales at the results on the screen.

"What?" Elle, having caught sight of Zed's rapidly horrified expression, asks quickly. "What is it?"

"It's..." Zed almost whispers, his voice thick with horror, "a Zeronian."

The silence in the lab is almost deafening.

Then, X asks, "Is that supposed to mean something?"