"Yup," Hank Hill said.

"Yup," Bill Dauterive and Dale Gribble echoed.

"Mm-hmm," Boomhauer added.

"Did you get your air conditioning fixed yesterday, Dale?" Hank asked idly, wiping sweat off of his forehead. It was a very hot day in Texas, and the alley was like an oven. The beer cans the three friends held were already dripping with condensation.

"Yeah," Dale said. "It got fixed by the black man that Lady Bird tried to kill."

"She wasn't trying to kill him, Dale," Hank snapped. "She was just scared that he might not fix the AC well enough."

"It sure is a hot one," Bill said, but the conversation fell silent. It seemed the weather was the only thing to talk about, and that had already gotten boring.

"Why don't we listen to the news?" Dale asked. "I want to see if they're still talking about the Russia investigation. They're on the right track, you know."

"Got dang it, Dale, not you too!" Hank said in disbelief. "President Trump worked hard to get where he is today. Nobody rigged the election!"

"That's not what I'm saying, Hank," Dale said defensively. "The election was hacked—by the Clinton campaign. You see, Hillary couldn't handle the campaign. That's why she was fainting and barking like a dog! But she didn't want to look like she was bowing out, so she conspired with the Russians to elect Trump. She did a good job pretending to be outraged that Trump won."

Everyone stared at Dale with raised eyebrows, but he shrugged his shoulders, confident as usual in his latest conspiracy theory. He turned to his portable radio and tuned it to FOX News Radio. Everyone else in the alley, even hank, had switched to more modern devices, but not Dale. He claimed that mobile devices and products like Amazon Echo had hidden microphones built in to record conversations and send them back to the government.

"—to our top story," a broadcaster was saying. "As plans to build the border wall move into place, environmental activists are rallying desperately against President Trump. The latest fear is that one section of the wall will disrupt a Texas wildlife refuge— "

Hank turned the radio off, glowering.

"I'm so tired of those bleeding-heart tree-huggers!" he said. "They keep putting animals ahead of safety and progress!"

"I tell you what, them environmentalists just might be dang right, yo," Boomhauer said, and Hank stared at him as if he had gone crazy.

"What are you saying, Boomhauer? Don't you care about Texas? Don't you care about America?"

Boomhauer launched into a speech about how the wall really wouldn't be effective, and construction would lead to soil erosion and flooding. Then, too, a lot of Texas's tourism was from naturalists and birdwatchers, and the state would lose that money; and if Trump really did build a wall, public feeling against Texas would worsen and who would help the state out when they needed it?

"You're a good orator, Boomhauer, but that wall's going to be built. Trump is putting America's safety first! Boomhauer, you'd better not be going Democrat on me."

"If I was I hope it wouldn't make a dang'ol difference, I'm your friend, Hank."

"I know, Dale, but Rainey Street has been Democrat-free for as long as I remember," Hank said, then looked up the street. A moving van was pulling up to a driveway one house over from Hank's; the Hills were getting new neighbors again.

A few minutes after the van had come to the house, a large, orange, Toyota Prius rolled up behind it. Hank looked askance at it—he still thought that hybrid cars were for the "bleeding-heart tree-huggers" that he had mentioned earlier. But he shook his head a moment later as a tall blonde woman stepped out and waved to him, Bill, Dale and Boomhauer. No sense in passing judgment on someone who was fortunate enough to move to Rainey Street.

"Howdy, new neighbors!" she shouted.

All four ambled over and cheerfully greeted her. Her name was Debbie Pinson; she'd just moved from Arizona, and was single (Bill's eyes lighted after this). She had gotten a job in Arlen after being laid off; she was going to be assistant systems analyst to who else but Kahn! So Hank was laughing and chatting with the rest. Debbie seemed like a really nice woman, even if her car wasn't very "Texan" to Hank.

Then Hank glanced at the back of the said Prius.

"Bwaah!"

"What's the matter, Mr. Hill?" Debbie asked concernedly.

"N-nothing," said Hank. "I'm just—feeling a little faint from the heat. I think I'll go in."

He dashed into the Hill residence, desperately looking past the bumper stickers that read 'Dump Trump', 'You can build a wall over my dead body', and 'Lifetime Democrat'.


DISCLAIMER: The political views and expressions are based on the characters' personalities and histories in the context of the show. I'm not advocating any particular position.

Everyone in the story is the same age as they are in the series. I've just written them into the present time.