Special thanks to Maria Foivi, Anna.B, Lone-Wolf-Ranger, acetwolf94, paninihead, emiweeab, Rose1414, EchoMoment, jazz fluff, Victorria1902, Venena, FazedTruly, IronicallyIdiotic, DesertMortician, Piffthemagicdragon21, vanessaserrato, frosty600, we'reallfanshere, flufferye, babygerbil, Stellar Spirit, and every guest.

Know your comments were read, multiple times, and are one of the strongest reasons I returned.


Warning: Mentions and discussion of mental illness, specifically depression.

If you followed/favorited this story or me—or perhaps you've somehow recently stumbled upon this fic and gave it a chance—you may have noticed that I have not updated in almost two years. I apologize for vanishing, leaving this story, my once pride and joy, incomplete. In all honesty, I went through a series of life-changing events, each event further distancing myself from the person I once was and the writing she delighted in.

While I know none of you asked for an update on me, I feel the need to give you some reason for why I disappeared for a bit. I will not provide all the details. I can't remember half of them. However, this is what I know: when I first published this story, I was a deeply depressed eighteen-year-old with just an abstract idea of what my life would be. In truth, I never imagined making it that far, so the transition into adulthood was brutal. Yet, despite all of the brutalities—again, I will not get into the details, some I still cannot believe—I am still here and, in contrast to who I once was, am quite proud of myself. However shakey that pride may be.

I have a better grasp on myself now. I still have much more to work through concerning myself, but I am better. Better enough to pursue a desire I never entirely left behind: completing this story. Yes, somehow, despite the odds, I never truly forgot about this fic or my love of NBC's Hannibal. I lacked motivation, yes. I lacked the confidence, of course. But love? I don't think I could let go of this. This fic is my child, and I never lost longing to breathe some life back into it. I just didn't have the breath the spare.

Until now.

For those of you who wanted an update on the story, I apologize and offer instead a promise to try my best to satisfy that in the future. For now, I decided to go back and rewrite chapters 1-16 and continue from wherever we may be in that 16th chapter and onwards. I wish I could promise to be quick about it, but I cannot. I am currently pursuing a graduate degree—yes, in the two years I was absent, I somehow managed to complete a Bachelor of Arts in English with a double minor in gender studies and film—while balancing two jobs and, unfortunately, depression. Please, know I am doing my best to manage that too.

I hope that, after rediscovering my love of this show and now having the capacity to write again, I can put something out worth reading. So, for first-time and long-time readers, if you have it in your hearts, spare me some kindness and patience. Perhaps you might even find a little bit of time to comment and let me know your thoughts and feelings about this story, this author's note, or even just life in general. I will not lie. There is nothing more motivating than knowing there are people out there that actually read and, dare I say, enjoy some of my writing.

With love,

Summer Water

PS: Because I am unsure if it will notify updated chapter, here are two ways to be notified:

1. You can also follow me i-was-not-a-nice-little-girl on Tumblr. I plan on posting about the new chapters there. If you want, I can also tag you. You can also reach out and contact me about this fic or, really, anything. I consider myself a rather friendly person.

2. You can find me on AO3. It is Under_A_Lemon_Tree. Currently, this fic is not posted, but I will be posting my updated chapters on there and here.

PSS: All updated chapters will have a note near the top indicating when I last edited it.