Clay sat in the car listing to his tape holding back his tears. He couldn't handle it, it had all started with him. Because of him leaving Hannah see saw Bryce rape Jessica and then left with Sherri causing the stop sign to fall, which led to Jeff's death. And it was all because he was to afraid to comfort Hannah.

Tony sat on the fence over looking the city as he let Clay listen to his tape. He wasn't this way with the others as they listened to theirs; yes he followed them to make sure they did listen to it but Clay was different. He knew from the first time he listen to his tape, hell he knew before that. He remembered sitting in the library watching as Clay tried to hid the Dollar Valentine's survey from Jeff.

It didn't work of course and he couldn't help as the ghost of a smile made its way on his face when he remembered the way Clay's face went red as he tried to explain what it was when Jeff found it. But he had always wondered what would have happened if Jeff never changed his answers. Maybe him and Hannah would have matched and none pf this would have happened.

And even though Tony likes guys he knew that they both had liked each other. Hell him and Jeff both had bets on who would make the first move. He had $20 on Hannah, and Jeff had $20 on Clay, and know that he likes of it he owns Jeff $20 before Clay was the one who made the first move.

"You knew." Clay says walking up the hill to Tony. "You knew all along."

"Knew what?" Tony asks.

This is what he was afraid of. Clay's reaction to his tape. Clay's name had no business on the tape-in his opinion. Clay had tired to befriend Hannah and had loved her.

Loved.

Hell Tony knew better. He still loves her.

"That all of this is my fault." Clay says.

"How did I know that?" Tony says trying to remain calm.

"I-I just left Hannah. I just left her there." Clay starts. "She needed me and I walked away."

"You were doing what she told you to do." Tony says trying to calm him down now.

"No, I ran!" Clay couldn't think straight. "I was scared! I thought it was something I had done or something I didn't understand, because I'm this fucking loser who doesn't know anything about girls or about life or anything."

"So all of this is your fault?" He was trying-hoping-that Clay would come to his sense.

"I left! I knew I shouldn't have left! And then Bryce rapped Jessica." Clay screamed as though he was yelling at himself.

"Whoa." Tony was starting to get frighted, Clay wouldn't calm down.

"Hannah saw it! And Sherri knocked down the stop sign, then Jeff died, and it all started with me!" Clay couldn't handle it. It all had started with him.

The butterfly effect Hannah had mentioned early in the tapes crossed his mind for a moment and he felt himself grow to hate it. He was the stupid butterfly that had flapped his wings leaving the room and had caused a whole storm to open up over Hannah.

"Clay." Tony said helpless as Clay walked to the edge of a ledge. Why the fuck wasn't there a fence there? He couldn't help but think. "I think you gotta get back from that edge."

This was what he was afraid of. He had already lost a friend because he didn't want to deal with her drama that day, and he regretted that day more then ever. He didn't want to lose Clay to.

"Why?" Clay asked.

It seemed like he couldn't get enough air in that moment. Because being out there made him think of the time him and Hannah sat out on the Cresmont watching the moon. He wanted her. He wanted to go in time and hold her one more time and kiss her.

"Why shouldn't I just jump, just let go?" He wanted to, maybe he could get away then. Everything he knew was falling apart, his mom had taken Hannah's case and he couldn't handle her trying to make Hannah seem like a bad person.

"So you can die? Reunite with Hannah?" Tony voice broke. He couldn't handle it, he knew he would react but not like this.

Maybe he would be like Alex who just sat and cried, or Jessica who drank hot chocolate at Hannah's grave site crying and keep saying "sorry" over and over. Justin had thrown a punch to a tree and finally deleted those photos of her. Tyler who in a fit of rage broke the camera he stalked Hannah with.

"Yes." Came his whisper. "Fuck you, Tony. But yes, if this is what it takes."

"Clay please come back." Tony didn't know what to do. He could imagine what would happen if he jumped.

"Tony, I can't live without her." He finally turned around to face him.

"Yes Clay you can." Tony begged him.

Tony stepped forward to grab him, to pull him to safety. But Clay fought back, putting all of his strength in getting away from Tony. He didn't need this.

But just as Tony had gotten his hand on Clay's wrist to pull him back, Clay yanked his arm back with too much strength and fell of the ledge.