A/N: Thank you for everyone who read! I hope I cracked you up! (:

Disclaimer: I do not own anything by John Green. I am but a lonely basement-dwelling virgin with too much time on their hands.

*credits roll*

Puffgustus: So that's it?

Me: Yep. Pack it up. Show's over, buddy.

Hazy Vapes: Do you think you should go back and edit this a little? Maybe make some things clearer? That one dude seemed pretty pissed you funnied up his favorite book.

Me: It's satire, Hazy. I'm sure they'll understand I was going for a broad-overreaching anti-smoking theme rooted in cheap shock-value comedy.

Puffgustus: Yeah, yeah. I know. It's just some people might think you're making light of cancer or something.

Me: But his parody wasn't about cancer. It was making fun of smoking and the long term health reprocussions of—

Puffgustus: You know that. I know that. But are you sure they know that?

Hazy Vapes: He has a point, you know.

Me: E tu, Hazy?

Puffgustus: I need a cigarette.

Hazy: *squirts Puffgustus with water* BAD KITTY!

Puffgustus: *hissing noises*

Me: Alexa, play Ashes by Celine Dion.

Deadpool: Nice.