AN: The title might change as new chapters are added.


Chapter 1: Rooftop Rendezvous

A familiar figure with a long, fluffy tail jumps across the rooftops of Paris.

"You can't run forever, Cooper!" came the shout from Inspector Carmelita Fox, not far behind him in her pursuit with her shock pistol in hand.

Sly Cooper jumped to another building's rooftop, which happened to be a sub layer with another taller section beside it.

"Looks like you've got nowhere left to run, Ringtail," he heard Carmelita announce, but he kept his cool and he gave the fox a smirk as he casually slung his cane over his shoulder.

"Carmelita," he cordially said, "why even bother this time? You and I both know how this is going to end..."

"Yeah!" Carmelita sternly replied, "with you behind bars!" She said as she took out a pair of handcuffs. "Since I have you cornered and unless you're going to return the Mayan Wind gem to the museum, you might as well put the handcuffs on now."

"Sorry, Ms. Fox," said Sly, "but I'm adding this one to my collection. I already stole it from a crime lord who stole it first." And with that, he used his dive move to give him way to jump to another building to the left, as Carmelita attempted to fire shock blasts at him.
Is this the life he wants? She thought. It was great having him on the force for a while. And we did have some good times together... even though he was just faking amnesia during that time. I guess some people just never change.

It had been a while after Sly had returned from being lost in ancient Egypt, so that gave him enough time to decide whether he should return to his thieving ways.

As the chase continued, Sly jumped onto a stair rail of a spiral staircase. Carmelita aimed her pistol at it, figuring the shock blast would conduct throughout. As soon as he saw it coming towards him, he knew what was going to happen, so he jumped in attempt to avoid it. But as he did, he bumped his head against the frame supporting the steps above. When he had lost consciousness from hitting his head, he fell into some plant troughs in the street below. Carmelita climbed down after him, still holding the handcuffs.

Chapter 2: The Interrogation

Sly was starting to regain consciousness. He opened his eyes, which had to take a moment to focus and adjust to the bright light shining at him.
"Where am I? Ugh... my head." He tried to rub his head, only to find he couldn't move his arms; his hands were handcuffed behind his back!

Once his eyes came into focus, he spotted Carmelita, who was looking at him as if he was in for it, and she wasn't letting him out of her sight.

"Good, you're awake," she said. "We didn't find the gem on you, so you must have handed it off to one of your accomplices. So I'm going to have to pry the info from you. Tell me where you've put the Mayan wind gem!"

Sly chuckled smugly. "Do you think it's going to be that easy?"

"I have some tactics," Carmelita said promptly, "but ones that I'll bring out after repeated refusals to confess", she finished, fingering the hem of her front pants pocket which contained a feather.

Her stomach gurgled, catching her off guard for a second as she looked down briefly and bit her lip in embarrassment.

?Ay!... She thought, those Brazilian barbecue ribs are killing me... it probably wasn't a good idea to have them today. Sly, on the other hand, misinterpreted her stomach growl.

Oh, good, she's hungry, he thought, maybe I can get her to leave and grab a snack so I can buy myself enough time to escape.

"Carm," Sly said, "you don't have to do this. You could just take these cuffs off me and we can talk about this over dinner... 'cause it sounds like you need it."

That was the last straw for Carmelita. After all this time, how could he just think he can smooth-talk his way out of this? How could he just take advantage of her trust like that? Sly lied to her about losing his memory, then he goes behind her back and steals! Sure he tried making a sacrifice to save her, only to just go back to stealing again!

Still feeling some painful pressure in her stomach, Carmelita grabs Sly by the collar and angrily slams him on the table, flipping him on his back as she does so. Forget the feather, she had something else in mind. "Don't worry, Ringtail, I already ate. And I have a special type of interrogation for all you've put me through."

She quickly climbs up on the table and sits on Sly's face. With her plump butt positioned right on his snout, the raccoon was confused.

What's she doing? Is she trying to tempt me into telling her? He heard a rumble from above that sounded like it was making its way down, and he started to realize what was happening.

She wouldn't... no... NO!

Sly struggled to get out from under Carmelita, but it was no use. And at that moment, a loud blast as brassy and obnoxious as her demeanor erupted from her backside, making Sly cough underneath. The vixen lifted her butt from his face for a moment, to give him a chance to breathe.

Sly continued to cough. "Carmelita," he groaned in disgust, "I really expected better from you. This isn't the classy lady I fell in love with."
Carmelita took offense to this, and plopped back down on his face.
"You expected better from me?!" she was still irrational from all the feelings she had about the situation with their relationship.
She grunted and managed to push out a trumpet-like fart, to which the master thief responded with a muffled scream.

"What's the matter, Cooper," she teased in a condescending way, "can't handle when a pretty lady fluffs in your face?"

Even though it was no use, Sly still tried struggling. It seemed to be the calm before the next windstorm afterwards, but the next rumble he heard from Carmelita signaled that a really bad one was coming next, he braced himself with great dread. And when it came, it started in a low burble, then got louder as its release continued.

Sly's sinuses were burning, as well as his eyes, which were watering profusely. The foul gas he was forced to breathe in was so hot and thick. Something must have really upset this fox's stomach. At this point, Sly could only feel horrified and thoroughly disgusted. His throat was starting to spasm, but he tried his hardest not to so much as even retch (not that it helped much). He decided that this would make for a much worse memory than the night Murray won that burrito-eating contest, considering that the point of expulsion was directly into his nostrils this time (not to mention, how in shock he was that this foxy lady was able to create such stink).

When her long burst ended Carmelita sighed, glad that she was able to get her relief, and not have to compromise the interrogation. She thought, Maybe I'm being too harsh on the Ringtail... But thinking back on why she was angry at him in the first place, and remembering all the things he's put her through, she decided, maybe not, he definitely deserves this.

"Ok, Cooper. Gonna tell me now where you stashed the gem?"

Sly's response was muffled underneath her round vulpine butt. He started feeling lightheaded from breathing in the Interpol Inspector's intense fumes. She decided she'd get off his face, but right before she did, Sly stopped struggling completely and went limp as he lost consciousness once more.

"Aw, he passed out," cooed Carmelita. She got off the table and slowly walked to the door. She looked back at Sly before turning the door's knob. She left the interrogation room just as some other officers came back from their break, and that moment, she started feeling guilt over what she did.

I can't believe I just did that. I don't know what came over me! I was lucky the other officers in this section were on break, they can't ever know what just happened; I'd lose all their respect!

She had told her fellow officers that Sly had simply hit his head accidentally during the chase and that he'd been out for a while, and to just wait until he awoke before taking any further action, hoping that would be enough time for the air in the room to clear. She then made another horrific realization... the interrogation was being monitored by video the whole time. With how high quality the sound system is, they'd hear her pooter flute for sure! She then made her way to the room where all the interrogations were monitored, so she could get the tape for herself, for her reputation's sake. Hopefully, the other officers haven't watched any of it yet.